The Space Between You and I

Tears and heartache followed her meeting with Henry at the park. Not so much over her brother Max, but in regard to her feelings for Henry ,She knew the trip wasn’t a good idea for her sentimental state at the moment, but she couldn’t help the desire in her heart to go. She wanted to be there for him, even though she knew it’d only grow the pain inside her. That evening, she took Ruff out to Swellview to her sister, Mandy’s, house. Ruff would have the company of Mandy’s dogs, Roxy and Candy, while she was out of town with Henry.

  Gabe, Mandy’s husband, promptly took Ruff out to the barn to join the other dogs. Mandy and Noelle stayed in the kitchen while Mandy prepared dinner for her family. Little West was asleep in his crib.

“I know you’re wanting to ask why I’m going . . .”  Noelle’s comment came as she sat down on the bar stool in the kitchen while Mandy prepped a salad at the counter.

Letting out a sigh, Mandy stopped slicing the tomatoes and turned, coming over to the counter where Noelle was sitting. Looking her sister in the eyes, Mandy frowned. “Sis, I’ve tried to tell you about this guy, and you turn a deaf ear over and over again. I’m giving it to God now. I can’t do anything else and I finally understand that. It’s kind of a relief.”

“What if he meets his mom on this trip, Mandy? Maybe he’ll finally come to his senses about us and be willing to commit. I know he has feelings for me.”

Walking around the counter, Mandy came over to Noelle on the stool and grabbed both of her hands. “You may be right. But you might be wrong. Henry has a lot of anger built up in him, and that bitterness isn’t just going to be switched off overnight because he finally met his mom. And so, what if he does meet her? She’s not going to be able to give him what he really wants. He wants a good reason for her abandoning him and that doesn’t exist. There’s no excuse in the world that will make sense to his heart on why his mom gave up on him.”

     .

Discouraged by Mandy’s words, Noelle hung her head.

Mandy lifted her little sister’s chin with a finger. “Hey. You still have Jesus, Sister. Don’t let this man ruin your entire life by waiting forever for him.”

   “You’re right.” Noelle furrowed her eyebrows as she nodded confidently. She had had a crush on Henry since she had met him six years ago in high school, and she had let good men come and go out of her life because of him. She couldn’t keep waiting for him any longer. “You know what? This trip is it. No matter whether he meets his mom or not, I’m done for good if he can’t commit. I’m going to confront him about us.”

  “What if he still wants to be friends?” Noelle was testing her with that question.

“Doesn’t matter. I can’t be his friend when I feel the way I do about this man.”

“That’s my Abeke!” Walking back over to the counter, Mandy continued prepping the salad. “Who knows? Maybe a good letting alone is just what he needs.”

“I’m not going to view it like that. I can’t let myself stay hopeful of being with him. I have to have finality in my heart and mind about him.”

“Good point. I’ll be praying for God’s will in both yours and Henry’s lives, Sis. You two would be adorable together, but sometimes, what we think should happen or even what we want to happen isn’t God’s will.”

“Thank you.” Letting a moment pass, Noelle spotted a family picture of herself, Max and Mandy on the fridge. “Heard anything more from Mom?”

 Mandy nodded, her lips firmly pressed together as her annoyance was evident on her expression. “Mom is furious. I wish she could just let go and leave Max alone to do what he’s going to do.”

“Max’s her little boy. She’ll never stop worrying. Could you if something like that happened with little Tony, Elly, or West?”

  Her sister went quiet for a long moment. “I guess you got me on that one.”

Returning inside a moment later, Gabe stomped his work boots off on the kitchen rug and smiled at Noelle “ Ruff seems to have missed Roxy and Candy. They were all licking each other’s faces.”

Warmed at the thought of  seeing her pals again, Noelle smiled. “That’s so cute. I want to go see her before I head out.”

   “You’re not staying for dinner?” Surprise laced Mandy’s words as she turned and her gaze fell upon Noelle.

“No. I can’t. I still have to pack and get ready for the trip in the morning. He wants to get on the road early.”

“Does he have chains for the pass?”

 “I don’t know. I’m sure it’ll be fine.”

the fields of white snow to her right, Noelle stopped and drank in the view. The rolling hills behind the fields brought a perfect picture of God’s excellent handiwork, and

I pray for my brother, Max. May Your hand of protection

The hanging light swayed with the small breeze that made its way in through the cracks in the barn, and she ventured over to a stall where Betsy, her sister and Gabe’s milk cow, was lying down in a bed of hay.

then, the dogs entered the barn stall from

   “Come here, Ruff!” Opening her arms wide, she embraced her dog. “Be a good

saddened bark and rubbed her chin against

I’m going, don’t you?”

exit. Entering back inside the house, she found her sister in the kitchen holding West while Gabe cut up pieces

strong for a little guy!”

warmly at her. “You be safe on the roads tomorrow.

Mandy, she nodded. “I will be.”

her purse on the counter, she

                          *****

jeans into her suitcase, she thought about

   That evening as she pillowed her head to sleep, she prayed for God’s will to happen in her life. A tear-filled confession of her

about bringing up the conversation of a ‘them’ during their long weekend together. She had dreamed of him again last night. This time in the dream, he had kissed her passionately in the moonlight beneath the stars as he held her close in his arms. She longed deeply for the day when her dreams

It was a quarter past seven. Fifteen minutes beyond the time he said he’d be there. A honk sounded a moment later,

   Reaching down, she grabbed her suitcase and headed out her apartment door.

up the apartment stairwell.

  “Morning, sunshine. Sorry I’m late.

love come off his lips and shower her heart with warmth. He lifted her suitcase for her, and they walked together down to

  As they came closer to the car,

of his car, he set the suitcase next to his duffel bag. Shutting the trunk, he turned to Noelle and gave her a look like he wanted to kiss her. “You’re lovely for coming with me on this trip. I can’t express my joy enough

shut your mouth and kiss me, she thought silently to herself as she smiled.

chains and the pass, she

   “Yep. In the trunk.”

“Great. Let’s go.”

buckled. As the seatbelt clicked, her pulse ticked up a notch. The first hour into the drive held little conversation as the radio filled the

pump, he turned toward her. “You want anything?”

his eyes, she fluttered her eyelashes and decided on boldness. “Only you.”

laugh. “I don’t think they

pressed a hand to her forehead and let out a sigh. Leaning the side of her head against the cool window beside her, she set her

be

blossomed in her heart as she was faced with the painful realization that she’d have to be direct about the discussion she wanted to have with him about the two of them. Fear crept in at the thought of him shooting her down. She just wanted the conversation to be easy and quick but not to exist if it didn’t go in her favor. She literally wanted the impossible. The more she dwelled about the idea of bringing it up

with him if

the side of the gas station, she snapped a few pictures. Seeing an exposed pile of small rocks a few feet away, she walked over and

her thoughts and caused her to turn. He handed her coffee and then she peered back at the water.

  “I

for Christmas and we’d throw rocks for hours. Rachel and I would

sip of her coffee, her insides warmed from the

“Sounds like fun.”

to be lost in his thoughts. Turning back toward the parking lot and the car,

“Agreed.”

together back over to the car, Noelle felt a nudge in her heart that went against her plan to wait. Unable to control herself, she pushed it out.

you ever thought about an us?”

look of fear flashed in his eyes, then as fast it showed up, it went away. He turned toward

Gus?”