The Temptation of Sin And The Lycan Princess

17. My Demons

SKYLA.

As the door shuts behind him, my small smirk fades away, and I look around the cottage. That cosy touch feels empty… My stomach drops, guilt filling me, followed by a void, one so deep it almost hurts to

breathe. This is the part I hate the most; I know my flaws… I know when I’m fucking up but it doesn’t stop me from self- sabotaging everything. Even then, it’s easier to identify my flaws and another thing entirely trying to move away from them. 1

Breaking a cycle that, for a fleeting moment, fills that emptiness, is hard. I live in those moments… It offers me temporary relief, a distraction I really need from the constant war that wages in my mind. But it always comes to an end and then it all sinks in, knowing I fucked up. But deep down I know I’ll do it all over again, because I need that,

those small moments of reprieve they offer

4

Picking up my phone, I unlock it and click on the chat app. It’s instinctual, another bad habit of mine that I’ve picked up recently. It

has become a part of my routine… One I

always knew would probably end in disappointment, yet still, I check my

messages anyway.

Still nothing.

Sighing heavily, I stare unseeingly at the

screen.

I can still feel his touch on my body, and I

don’t know how to feel about it. In the

moment everything feels good, but then… now, I feel hollow. Moving toward the front door, I can still smell his scent clinging to me, to this place…. 1

Locking the door, I sigh, resting my forehead against the wood before I slowly

turn and head to the bedroom. A place that

still smells of him and sex… It’s like I can’t

escape him, escape what I did. I messed up and once Royce finds out…

I sigh heavily, feeling sick with guilt and I

turn away, shutting the door, hoping hist scent won’t linger too long.

“Meow?”

Malevolent’s whine draws my attention to

her, and I smile softly as I crouch down and

scoop her into my arms. “Come on, little

one.” I whisper, nuzzling my nose into her

neck. She’s my forever one.

Nothing helps, nothing ever helps.

Royce’s words fill my mind. ‘You’re worth

more than a one-night hook-up…’ Why do

so much

shake my head; he

able

the lounge

Malevolent to my

watch the shadowy patterns of the

the dark, and the curtains are open,

did I

hook-ups aren’t uncommon

at the school? Usually, I

was getting to

and I know it makes me a bitch, but

for his brother.

Nicely played Sky…

bet he’ll be

the other

Nice work.

side, I run my

my hair, breathing deeply,

more than to

to scream, and cry, the guilt and hollowness seeping deeper inside

can I always be

I’m

tough

but no one sees the fucked up shit inside my

flex my fingers, trying to rid the

creating a void so

and never return.

where you

cry, both threatening

havoc and

me, or even… destroy

to feel something other than empty, angry or out of

myself. Even if I agreed to a casual thing, I can’t let it happen again even if he was pretty good in bed or if

know I’ll fuck up again. I

at my

sick, feeling as if I’m betraying him, but he’s the one refusing to talk to me… but does it even matter? It’s not

couple-

His ex. Fuck!

heart thundering, and I wonder

together again.

hurts, but I should be

doesn’t mean he needed to cut

and stop talking to

You’re overthinking Sky, chill.

can feel my anger and frustration

Fuck calm down…

heart thunders and right now, I can’t lose control. I hate how I have empty blanks in my memory whenever I completely spiral.

open my top chest drawer, I scramble around, dropping my phone in the process; it hits the floor, but I

the vials of serum with shaking hands and bite off the lid, my eyes blazing, my aura raging around me so powerfully that even the spells Delsanra and Raihana,

put on me to mask my aura, are not enough right now.

my Lycan tries

agony as it cripples me, making me fall to my knees. The poison bleeding through me, setting my blood on fire, as it eats away at the

within me. 4

feels like my head will burst as I grab

wood but I can’t hold

forward, my head hits