17. My Demons

SKYLA.

As the door shuts behind him, my small smirk fades away, and I look around the cottage. That cosy touch feels empty… My stomach drops, guilt filling me, followed by a void, one so deep it almost hurts to

breathe. This is the part I hate the most; I know my flaws… I know when I’m fucking up but it doesn’t stop me from self- sabotaging everything. Even then, it’s easier to identify my flaws and another thing entirely trying to move away from them. 1

Breaking a cycle that, for a fleeting moment, fills that emptiness, is hard. I live in those moments… It offers me temporary relief, a distraction I really need from the constant war that wages in my mind. But it always comes to an end and then it all sinks in, knowing I fucked up. But deep down I know I’ll do it all over again, because I need that,

those small moments of reprieve they offer

4

Picking up my phone, I unlock it and click on the chat app. It’s instinctual, another bad habit of mine that I’ve picked up recently. It

has become a part of my routine… One I

always knew would probably end in disappointment, yet still, I check my

messages anyway.

Still nothing.

Sighing heavily, I stare unseeingly at the

screen.

I can still feel his touch on my body, and I

don’t know how to feel about it. In the

moment everything feels good, but then… now, I feel hollow. Moving toward the front door, I can still smell his scent clinging to me, to this place…. 1

Locking the door, I sigh, resting my forehead against the wood before I slowly

turn and head to the bedroom. A place that

still smells of him and sex… It’s like I can’t

escape him, escape what I did. I messed up and once Royce finds out…

I sigh heavily, feeling sick with guilt and I

turn away, shutting the door, hoping hist scent won’t linger too long.

“Meow?”

Malevolent’s whine draws my attention to

her, and I smile softly as I crouch down and

scoop her into my arms. “Come on, little

one.” I whisper, nuzzling my nose into her

neck. She’s my forever one.

Nothing helps, nothing ever helps.

Royce’s words fill my mind. ‘You’re worth

more than a one-night hook-up…’ Why do

sting so

head; he just doesn’t

be able to go back to

to the

sofa, cradling Malevolent to my

ceiling, and watch the shadowy patterns of the rustling

are open, but I have no energy to get up and

did I

hook-ups aren’t

know and is a teacher at the school? Usually, I

his refusal was getting to me… Yeah, I’m not making sense. Was I trying to

and I know it makes me a

for his brother.

Nicely played Sky…

bet he’ll be disgusted that I bounced from

other so easily…

Nice work.

my side, I

hair, breathing

more than to

cry, the guilt and hollowness seeping deeper inside

I always be so

think I’m a fucking

because I’m tough and I’ll

I have… but no one sees

deep breath, I flex my fingers, trying to rid the horrid feeling eating

a void so big

into it and never return.

where you want

cry, both threatening to take

to wreak havoc and destroy

or

something other than empty, angry or

myself. Even if I agreed to a casual thing, I can’t let it happen again even if he was pretty good in bed or if he gave me an incredible orgasm… I can’t… not with him. It’s wrong on

momentary… deep down, I know I’ll fuck up again.

at

sick, feeling as if I’m betraying him, but he’s the one refusing to talk to me… but does it even matter? It’s not like

couple-

His ex. Fuck!

my heart thundering, and

together again.

thought hurts, but I should

That doesn’t mean he

with me… and stop

You’re overthinking Sky, chill.

can feel my anger and frustration rising, and my claws

Fuck calm down…

control. My heart thunders and right now, I can’t lose control. I hate how

scramble around, dropping my phone in the process; it hits the floor, but I don’t care. I can feel myself

my aura raging around me so powerfully that even the spells Delsanra and Raihana,

me to mask my

my Lycan tries to stop

I scream in agony as it cripples me, making me fall to my knees. The poison bleeding through me, setting my blood on fire, as it

within me. 4

like my head will burst as I grab onto the chest of

splinter the wood but I can’t hold

my head hits

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