17. My Demons

SKYLA.

As the door shuts behind him, my small smirk fades away, and I look around the cottage. That cosy touch feels empty… My stomach drops, guilt filling me, followed by a void, one so deep it almost hurts to

breathe. This is the part I hate the most; I know my flaws… I know when I’m fucking up but it doesn’t stop me from self- sabotaging everything. Even then, it’s easier to identify my flaws and another thing entirely trying to move away from them. 1

Breaking a cycle that, for a fleeting moment, fills that emptiness, is hard. I live in those moments… It offers me temporary relief, a distraction I really need from the constant war that wages in my mind. But it always comes to an end and then it all sinks in, knowing I fucked up. But deep down I know I’ll do it all over again, because I need that,

those small moments of reprieve they offer

4

Picking up my phone, I unlock it and click on the chat app. It’s instinctual, another bad habit of mine that I’ve picked up recently. It

has become a part of my routine… One I

always knew would probably end in disappointment, yet still, I check my

messages anyway.

Still nothing.

Sighing heavily, I stare unseeingly at the

screen.

I can still feel his touch on my body, and I

don’t know how to feel about it. In the

moment everything feels good, but then… now, I feel hollow. Moving toward the front door, I can still smell his scent clinging to me, to this place…. 1

Locking the door, I sigh, resting my forehead against the wood before I slowly

turn and head to the bedroom. A place that

still smells of him and sex… It’s like I can’t

escape him, escape what I did. I messed up and once Royce finds out…

I sigh heavily, feeling sick with guilt and I

turn away, shutting the door, hoping hist scent won’t linger too long.

“Meow?”

Malevolent’s whine draws my attention to

her, and I smile softly as I crouch down and

scoop her into my arms. “Come on, little

one.” I whisper, nuzzling my nose into her

neck. She’s my forever one.

Nothing helps, nothing ever helps.

Royce’s words fill my mind. ‘You’re worth

more than a one-night hook-up…’ Why do

words sting so much more

head; he just doesn’t know

be able

I head to the lounge and drop

cradling Malevolent

ceiling, and watch the shadowy patterns of the rustling

curtains are open, but I have no

did I do

hook-ups

someone who I know and is a teacher at the school? Usually, I am not that foolish, nothing good

Royce, and his refusal was getting to me… Yeah, I’m not making sense. Was I trying to prove

know it makes me a bitch, but if I couldn’t

for his brother.

Nicely played Sky…

If Royce finds out, I bet he’ll be disgusted that

the other so easily…

Nice work.

side, I run my

hair,

more than to hurt

to scream, and cry, the guilt and hollowness

I always be

People think I’m

because I’m tough and I’ll jump

one

a deep breath, I flex my fingers, trying to rid the horrid feeling eating

creating a void

it and

where you want

both threatening to take

wreak havoc and destroy

or even…

to feel something other than empty, angry

stare at the backrest of the sofa, trying to regain myself. Even if I agreed to a casual thing, I can’t let it happen again even if he was pretty good in bed or if he gave me an incredible orgasm… I can’t… not with him.

deep down, I know I’ll

stare at

refusing to talk to me… but does it even matter? It’s

couple-

His ex. Fuck!

my heart thundering, and I wonder if something happened and

together again.

but I should be

he

me… and stop

You’re overthinking Sky, chill.

feel my anger and frustration rising, and my

Fuck calm down…

away when I lose control. My heart thunders and right now, I can’t lose control. I hate how

phone in the process; it hits the floor, but I don’t

my aura raging around me so powerfully that even the spells Delsanra and Raihana, two of the most powerful witches of

my aura, are not enough

Lycan tries to stop me

me and I scream in agony as it cripples me, making me fall to my knees. The poison bleeding through me, setting my blood on fire,

within me. 4

head will burst as

wood but I can’t

forward, my head hits

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