17. My Demons

SKYLA.

As the door shuts behind him, my small smirk fades away, and I look around the cottage. That cosy touch feels empty… My stomach drops, guilt filling me, followed by a void, one so deep it almost hurts to

breathe. This is the part I hate the most; I know my flaws… I know when I’m fucking up but it doesn’t stop me from self- sabotaging everything. Even then, it’s easier to identify my flaws and another thing entirely trying to move away from them. 1

Breaking a cycle that, for a fleeting moment, fills that emptiness, is hard. I live in those moments… It offers me temporary relief, a distraction I really need from the constant war that wages in my mind. But it always comes to an end and then it all sinks in, knowing I fucked up. But deep down I know I’ll do it all over again, because I need that,

those small moments of reprieve they offer

4

Picking up my phone, I unlock it and click on the chat app. It’s instinctual, another bad habit of mine that I’ve picked up recently. It

has become a part of my routine… One I

always knew would probably end in disappointment, yet still, I check my

messages anyway.

Still nothing.

Sighing heavily, I stare unseeingly at the

screen.

I can still feel his touch on my body, and I

don’t know how to feel about it. In the

moment everything feels good, but then… now, I feel hollow. Moving toward the front door, I can still smell his scent clinging to me, to this place…. 1

Locking the door, I sigh, resting my forehead against the wood before I slowly

turn and head to the bedroom. A place that

still smells of him and sex… It’s like I can’t

escape him, escape what I did. I messed up and once Royce finds out…

I sigh heavily, feeling sick with guilt and I

turn away, shutting the door, hoping hist scent won’t linger too long.

“Meow?”

Malevolent’s whine draws my attention to

her, and I smile softly as I crouch down and

scoop her into my arms. “Come on, little

one.” I whisper, nuzzling my nose into her

neck. She’s my forever one.

Nothing helps, nothing ever helps.

Royce’s words fill my mind. ‘You’re worth

more than a one-night hook-up…’ Why do

so much more

he

won’t be able to

head to the lounge and drop

cradling Malevolent to

and watch the shadowy patterns of the rustling

dark, and the curtains are open, but I have no energy to

I

casual hook-ups aren’t

but with someone who I know and is a teacher at the school? Usually, I am

and his refusal was getting to me… Yeah, I’m not making sense. Was I

I was, and I know it makes me a bitch, but if I

for his brother.

Nicely played Sky…

fills me. If Royce finds out, I bet he’ll be disgusted that I

other so easily…

Nice work.

side, I

my hair, breathing deeply,

than to hurt

to scream, and cry, the guilt and hollowness seeping deeper inside

can I always

People think I’m a

because I’m tough and

no one sees the fucked up shit

fingers, trying

and creating a void so big

into it and

where you

cry, both threatening to

to wreak havoc and destroy

me, or

other than empty,

to a casual thing, I can’t let it happen again even if he was pretty

down, I know I’ll fuck

at my phone.

sick, feeling as if I’m betraying him, but he’s the one refusing to talk

couple-

His ex. Fuck!

heart thundering, and I

together again.

but I should be

That doesn’t mean he needed to

and

You’re overthinking Sky, chill.

anger and

Fuck calm down…

thunders and right now, I can’t lose control. I hate how I have empty blanks in my memory whenever

I run to the bedroom. Pulling open my top chest drawer, I scramble around, dropping my phone in the process; it hits the floor, but I don’t care. I can feel myself losing control, feel the

serum with shaking hands and bite off the lid, my eyes blazing, my aura raging around me so powerfully that even the spells Delsanra and Raihana, two of the most powerful witches of our

put on me to mask my aura, are

Lycan tries to stop me

agony as it cripples me, making me fall

within me. 4

will burst as I grab

the wood but I

forward, my head

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