Traded To The Lycan King

"Merikh

POV

"Okay, what do you have to tell me?" Colette asks. She turns her body to face me, a look of worry on her brow as he tilts her head and prepares herself.

The only problem is I don't know that this the right time to tell her. To explain to her that the whole reason she is here with me is entirely because she is the one and only hybrid to ever exist.

My choosing Leslie as a mate was no coincidence. I had every intention of leaving her before the ceremony and kidnapping Colette if need be. Fate clearly had other plans, but the fact remains. Colette is my proof that the only ever hybrid was saved by my family. Not only is she that hybrid, but the only child of Caspian.

She takes my hand, turning it over so my palm is facing up, and then she gently lifts it, pressing it to her lips. There's no fighting the shiver that runs through me, the desire that has been there and doesn't seem to go away rages against my barriers. I have thrown up time and time again to protect myself.

"You can tell me later, if it's easier." She whispers. "You seem exhausted and tomorrow you have the second meeting."

I stare at this timid, beautiful woman and my heart aches. Guilt riddles me, every day wreaking havoc on my heart and in my mind and my lycan...my lycan fights me tooth and nail to claim what is ours, what we have hidden away to keep us in check. I want to speak to her, to tell her everything, but trust is as elusive as fucking smoke.

The moon goddess has failed me once before. And though I punished myself for my part in everything, the way I turned a blind eye to Lauren's misgivings in the name of the mate bond. I don't think I can trust the moon goddess again, and that makes it impossible to know if I can trust in Colette the way I yearn to.

"I-"I try to speak but I say nothing, only staring at her, hating myself more with every passing second because I am weak. So fucking weak and though I tricked her into the oath, even though I don't deserve her.

I crave her. My soul begs to be one with hers, constantly fighting me, tearing at my conscience. Shit. I don't know what to do with her anymore. Shit, I know I have to tell her something. I can't just hide from he forever like I have for the last week.

"I am ready to hear what you have to say about Grady-1 offer, swallowing roughly as I allow her to play with my hand before entwining our fingers. She watches me closely, assessing my response, waiting for me to pull away from her like I always do.

meet mine, trying to pull the truth from inside of

"Yes," I nod...

says, again waiting for me to run away like

assure her, but she looks skeptical. Colette sucks in

I fight my anger, every bit of jealousy in my body looks for a way out

I assure her through gritted teeth. I notice a small smile tugging at her

feelings were one sided. Everyone knew it, including me. He slept around with girls and stuff, but when he slept with Leslie, it hurt the most because she always took such joy in causing me pain. I wanted nothing to do with him after he rejected me. It was still so fresh when I agreed to be your mate. I was still mourning, and I was trying

of me," I admit. "I

mates like

are," I state firmly, and she gives me a tight-lipped

forgive me for being skeptical of that claim.” Her words are brutal and blunt, but it's

out, my ribs aching from restraining myself and fighting

up, I already knew I wanted to be with you, sure I had made you a promise and I keep promises, but I fell for you after the second week and then I feel hard, so damn hard and knowing about your past...it let me see you in a different light. I can be patient, Merikh. But it won't change my mind. I chose you and our pack. I chose you the day of our mating ceremony and I chose you over Grady and even now I'm choosing you again even when you make me so angry I

much to hear in there, but all I can do is feel it. She has not tried

bond, but with Colette it is different. My heart is nearly bursting and it feels lik I am going to burn up just sitting here. "I love you" My eyes shoot up in shock. The words tumbling from my lips before I can even have the

gasps. Her eyes grow misty and she searches my face for the lie, one I realize she won't find because damn it, somehow between my lack of trust and my temper tantrums and secrets, I feel

because it would make our reign easier. I fell in love with her because of her patience, her kindness and how gentle she is, and that growing snark adds she finds herself. "I-I love

passing second she stares at me. Then

to leave. I did not kiss him back. Ask me, ask me to tell you the truth under the oath and I will tell you

her have control of it. I slide my arms