Present-day

The darkness can be the setting for one's nightmare or the sign of one’s escape. There are instances between life and death, decisions we need to make.

Only when we are weighing our options thinking we chose the most plausible of the lot, we have no idea that the selections we end up making, can sometimes have drastic consequences.

Like the people who killed my friend, Ren. They had no idea when they pulled that trigger, we were going to catch up to them so easily. Stupid people. The one who betrayed us had no inclination that we would ever find out.

We have, well, I have. And right now, I am the one with the trump card. But showing my hand too early would not be wise so I bite my tongue. Waiting.

The long skinny brush hangs by the tail end through my nimble fingers as the brown-colored tip glides across the roughened canvas, reminding me, how easy one small simple judgment can influence a vast amount of other aspects. We are the product of our choices. And most of the time we screw it up, royally.

What we do, what we say, where we end up is all part of who we choose. Yes, who. Because it all comes down to you verse everyone else.

Like this painting, I chose the brown thinking it was going to bring a balance to the grey clouds, but all it brings is duller, faded shades of grief.

In the not too different past, I assumed that life wasn’t a nomination of oneself but the rulings of the ones around me. My opinion on that changed, the day Marco Catelli walked out of my life. My ‘take’ on a lot of things has changed since then. Including my interpretation of the word ‘art’. Once a form of indulgence, now my promise of vengeance. How easily is the heart tainted by its adversary, rejection?

are internal landmarks since the day Marco walked out on me. Days when I feel a hollowness like I'm missing something so full. Yes,

full of pain

of my bedroom I convince myself I’d wake up, I’d be numb, the pain I feel would be

was just a dream. Yes, it would be one heck of a

then I suggest you have your Glock against

it is a dangerous ride just being born. Add in the extras and you got yourself a life fit for

is a normal conversation amongst our kind. Talk about someone getting whacked, or your uncle Benny just dropping off the

it off as one of those things. Because that is what the underworld is about, and we, the women born in this darkness take it up the ass even though

are stupid enough to want different, the men will find you and haul

out to her family. He chose his safety over her heart. It was a good choice, we have to choose ourselves to survive in

story without a proper face. Some say she is a slave to her parents, who keep her locked up in their home. Others say she is the lucky one who got it easy and lives

our last interaction just a few days ago. My ‘presumably’ dead cousin, now a biker named Knight. How small

rustic chair I’m currently painting into life, as the cold air seeps through my jersey. I twirl my brush, making sure I get the perfect curl around the chair's back. I would need to add in some gold, yellow and black, with a few touches of white mixed in to get the perfect antique look I was

the corner end of the chair perfects to my

my crouched, awkward form as my lips tug at how every day is a new day, making way for a fresh start. Even us, criminals, evil killers, the

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