Present-day

The darkness can be the setting for one's nightmare or the sign of one’s escape. There are instances between life and death, decisions we need to make.

Only when we are weighing our options thinking we chose the most plausible of the lot, we have no idea that the selections we end up making, can sometimes have drastic consequences.

Like the people who killed my friend, Ren. They had no idea when they pulled that trigger, we were going to catch up to them so easily. Stupid people. The one who betrayed us had no inclination that we would ever find out.

We have, well, I have. And right now, I am the one with the trump card. But showing my hand too early would not be wise so I bite my tongue. Waiting.

The long skinny brush hangs by the tail end through my nimble fingers as the brown-colored tip glides across the roughened canvas, reminding me, how easy one small simple judgment can influence a vast amount of other aspects. We are the product of our choices. And most of the time we screw it up, royally.

What we do, what we say, where we end up is all part of who we choose. Yes, who. Because it all comes down to you verse everyone else.

Like this painting, I chose the brown thinking it was going to bring a balance to the grey clouds, but all it brings is duller, faded shades of grief.

In the not too different past, I assumed that life wasn’t a nomination of oneself but the rulings of the ones around me. My opinion on that changed, the day Marco Catelli walked out of my life. My ‘take’ on a lot of things has changed since then. Including my interpretation of the word ‘art’. Once a form of indulgence, now my promise of vengeance. How easily is the heart tainted by its adversary, rejection?

Days when I feel a hollowness like I'm missing

I am full of

as that thick lodging in my throat reminds me of how empty I am, and how pale my existence has become. In the darkness of my bedroom I convince myself I’d wake up, I’d be numb, the pain I feel would be passing and all that matters now and mattered before would be

be around, smiling at me, looking me in the eyes, and telling me that it was just a dream. Yes, it would be one heck of a choice to believe this is a

a joke, nothing is ever simple, and if anyone tries to convince you differently, then I suggest you have your Glock against their head for spewing shit to you. Because life is hard, your battles

than hard, it is a dangerous ride just being born. Add in the extras and you got

kind. Talk about someone getting whacked, or your uncle Benny just

will brush it off as one of those things. Because that is what the underworld is about, and we, the women

We only know one way. And even if you are stupid enough to want different, the men will find you and haul

good choice, we have to choose ourselves

slave to her parents, who keep

thought of our last interaction just a few days ago. My ‘presumably’ dead

seeps through my jersey. I twirl my brush, making sure I get the perfect curl around the chair's back. I would need to add in some

my tiny brush to get the corner end

awkward form as my lips tug at how every day is a new day, making way for a fresh start. Even us, criminals, evil killers, the tortured ones, get that fresh start. The beginning of something new, the

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