I go to my journal and pick it up and take it across the room where I move the rug on the wall aside and open my safe, placing the book in a more secure venue. I ignore Aliyana’s tantrum, because that is what it is, a tantrum.

This isn’t about the book; I see it now. It is about us and it’s time we talked.

“I love Camilla, Aliyana, but I’m not in love with her.” My voice is not raised in my confession, nor is it changed by the truth. Because for Aliyana this is news to her, but for me, I have said those words in my head every single day I laid my cursed soul in her path. Every time I stepped foot in her home I have said those words in my head.

She turns around and I see her tear-stricken face, “I don’t want to hear it, I just want to leave and stay gone, please Marco.”

“No, hear me out, if you still want to leave then go.”

“Leaving you when I did and how I did was the only option there was. Marrying me comes with a heady price tag.”

“Mischa?” She asks, and I nod as she moves into the room, further away from the door.

“Yes, and no. I come with an early death sentence. I have a lot of enemies, many of them. When I saw you on that rooftop you stole a piece of me, I didn’t want to give to anyone, and every day since, you took more. But like you, I made Ren promises, and one of them was leaving you to live your life.”

“What? But I only met you that day, and Ren died that night.” She comes closer to me and her eyes are so confused but wary.

seen you. I knew you from the time you were a kid.

“I don’t understand.”

you don’t. But I didn’t want to put a child’s face to

chose Camilla.”

one I initially chose to give me that, but I changed my mind a bit too late. My

me instead? Do you

she looks behind me at the painting of the beautiful woman who once graced this library. A woman many

myself that I wasn’t good enough, it took

her arm which

Camilla. Now what? You finally see the bitch she is

her waist, “I’m sorry, so sorry, I was not strong enough to

I hurt her, and I’m hurting too, but spending this time with Aliyana so close to me and not having her be mine, has made me realize that I want her and my brother is right, I am not just a Catelli and Elladio DeMarco found a way to be with his wife and keep her

Aliyana, you can’t leave me, never again.”

things in her ear as she quietens down.

never allow two of his children to be married to a Catelli, don’t you get it? Your

man, like all of us.” I will kill him if I have to, she will hate me but eventually, she will learn to live with it. She lifts herself up from her position and looks at me with her red-streaked face, and glistening

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