I go to my journal and pick it up and take it across the room where I move the rug on the wall aside and open my safe, placing the book in a more secure venue. I ignore Aliyana’s tantrum, because that is what it is, a tantrum.

This isn’t about the book; I see it now. It is about us and it’s time we talked.

“I love Camilla, Aliyana, but I’m not in love with her.” My voice is not raised in my confession, nor is it changed by the truth. Because for Aliyana this is news to her, but for me, I have said those words in my head every single day I laid my cursed soul in her path. Every time I stepped foot in her home I have said those words in my head.

She turns around and I see her tear-stricken face, “I don’t want to hear it, I just want to leave and stay gone, please Marco.”

“No, hear me out, if you still want to leave then go.”

“Leaving you when I did and how I did was the only option there was. Marrying me comes with a heady price tag.”

“Mischa?” She asks, and I nod as she moves into the room, further away from the door.

“Yes, and no. I come with an early death sentence. I have a lot of enemies, many of them. When I saw you on that rooftop you stole a piece of me, I didn’t want to give to anyone, and every day since, you took more. But like you, I made Ren promises, and one of them was leaving you to live your life.”

“What? But I only met you that day, and Ren died that night.” She comes closer to me and her eyes are so confused but wary.

time you were a kid. Never meeting you in person was

“I don’t understand.”

I didn’t want to put a child’s face to the woman who would potentially be my wife.”

you chose

is one I initially chose to give me that, but I changed my mind a bit too late. My father agreed to Dante Moretti’s terms and the day I approached him

instead? Do you have any idea how I

be with you, I’ll marry you in secret and keep you here just like Elladio did with his wife.” A tear leaks from her eyes and she looks behind

took me months to

her arm which she moves and turns

marrying Camilla. Now what? You finally see the

dammit, you have always belonged to me,” I walk behind her and wrap my arm from behind her waist, “I’m sorry, so sorry, I was not strong enough to stand up for

not having her be mine, has made

can’t leave me, never

in her ear as she quietens

to be married to a Catelli, don’t you get it?

man, like all of us.” I will kill him if I have to, she will hate me but eventually, she will learn to live with it. She lifts herself up from her position and looks at me with her red-streaked face, and glistening green eyes, and I swear my soul leaves my body in

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