Accidental Surrogate

Ella

When my panic attack finally eases and I can breathe again, I peek up at Sinclair,

tears burning in my eyes. “I’m sorry.” I murmur weakly, hating that my stupid brain

ruined our moment.

“Why the hell are you apologizing?” Sinclair counterS, still petting me. He hadn’t let

me go even once as I weathered the storm of anxiety and despair, only pulling the

pillows and blankets of my nest closer so I would feel secure.

“Because I screwed everything up.” I explain thickly. “I was supposed to be helping

you and I fell apart at a mere suggestion.” Shame is coursing through my veins, not

because of the panic itself, but because of what it might mean: that I’m too fragile, too

broken, to be Sinclair’s Luna.

“Ella, don’t be silly.” He replies, and though I understand he didn’t mean to dismiss my

feelings, the words still sting. Sinclair opens his mouth to continue, undoubtedly with

some trite placation about how ‘these things happen’ or similar, but I cut him off.

“I’m not being silly!” I insist with exasperation.

What good am I as a mate if I can’t even be there for you when you need me? I get to

lie around all day doing nothing while you’re out saving the world. You are constantly

taking care of me on top of all your other Worries, and I never give you anything in

return. It’s not right. You shouldn’t have to comfort me when you’re the one who needs

to decompress!” I burst, throwing up my hands. “All this time we’ve been convinced

that I can’t be your Luna because I’m human, but we never even considered that I

might not be up to the task, even as a wolf.” My voice is shaking with fresh tears, and I

can’t look at Sinclair as I continue, “But now… what more evidence do we need?”

Sinclair doesn’t make a sound, and when I look at him, he’s positively fuming. His

heavy breathing and black expression tell me he’s barely holding onto his temper, and

the hands which were caressing me mere moments ago are now stationary and stiff. I

watch as he struggles to quell his anger, even though I’m not sure what I said to

infuriate him this way. After a second he shakes his head, apparently surrendering the

battle. “I need a minute, Ella.” He finally growls, “I need to go for a run, but I don’t want

you unless you’re

my voice cracking. I’m out of the

the bed. “This is exactly what I’m

protecting ne from reality. If you’re angry with me, then be

Consequences

out of the nest, stalking forward with white-knuckled fists.

when you’ve just had a panic attack, Ella. If you want to be upset

my wolf out and run

door, bypassing

he turns back, his wolf glowing in his eyes. “And

this isn’t special treatment.” He rumbles angrily, “I don’t believe

way. If you need anything

ask the guards.”

that, Sinclair disappears, and I can hear

while I simply stand there, staring after him.

a fresh bout of

the way she accused me of selfishly unloading my problems

refrain.

pacing anxiously in my head, whimpering like a pup and feeling just

if more feral. She’s begging me to do something, to

terrible for falling apart when I was supposed

wolf seems much more distraught about Sinclair’s

She begs. I can’t

in reply. Even if I wasn’t on bed rest and

up with him. Besides, he’ll only

house.

understanding, though she’s still beside herself.

a little ball and pulling the blankets over my

Sinclair has certainly been angry

you this upset when he accused me

spanked me or dragged me

times were different. She argues. I was barely

been angry in the past it’s been protective. This

the first time he’s walked out. What if he doesn’t come

come back. I assure her, but there’s a

exact same thing.

back, even if he

But somewhere deep down inside of me there’s a

I’ll never see him

not worth the trouble, and simply

pastures? My wolf presses.

His entire life is here. His pack is

much integrity to abandon his

She digs in her paws. It wouldn’t be the

willingly abandon their pup, especially with humans – but our

with us – what if he’s finally figured it

this was

clamping my hands

inside my head. “

stop it,

and the