Accidental Surrogate

Ella

When my panic attack finally eases and I can breathe again, I peek up at Sinclair,

tears burning in my eyes. “I’m sorry.” I murmur weakly, hating that my stupid brain

ruined our moment.

“Why the hell are you apologizing?” Sinclair counterS, still petting me. He hadn’t let

me go even once as I weathered the storm of anxiety and despair, only pulling the

pillows and blankets of my nest closer so I would feel secure.

“Because I screwed everything up.” I explain thickly. “I was supposed to be helping

you and I fell apart at a mere suggestion.” Shame is coursing through my veins, not

because of the panic itself, but because of what it might mean: that I’m too fragile, too

broken, to be Sinclair’s Luna.

“Ella, don’t be silly.” He replies, and though I understand he didn’t mean to dismiss my

feelings, the words still sting. Sinclair opens his mouth to continue, undoubtedly with

some trite placation about how ‘these things happen’ or similar, but I cut him off.

“I’m not being silly!” I insist with exasperation.

What good am I as a mate if I can’t even be there for you when you need me? I get to

lie around all day doing nothing while you’re out saving the world. You are constantly

taking care of me on top of all your other Worries, and I never give you anything in

return. It’s not right. You shouldn’t have to comfort me when you’re the one who needs

to decompress!” I burst, throwing up my hands. “All this time we’ve been convinced

that I can’t be your Luna because I’m human, but we never even considered that I

might not be up to the task, even as a wolf.” My voice is shaking with fresh tears, and I

can’t look at Sinclair as I continue, “But now… what more evidence do we need?”

Sinclair doesn’t make a sound, and when I look at him, he’s positively fuming. His

heavy breathing and black expression tell me he’s barely holding onto his temper, and

the hands which were caressing me mere moments ago are now stationary and stiff. I

watch as he struggles to quell his anger, even though I’m not sure what I said to

infuriate him this way. After a second he shakes his head, apparently surrendering the

battle. “I need a minute, Ella.” He finally growls, “I need to go for a run, but I don’t want

you unless

out of the

“This

If you’re angry with me, then

Consequences

stalking forward with white-knuckled fists. “I’m

yell at you when you’ve just had a panic attack, Ella. If you want

I need to let my wolf out and run off this temper.”

door, bypassing me

turns back, his wolf glowing in his eyes. “And for

He rumbles angrily, “I don’t

of control this way. If you need anything while I’m gone,

ask the guards.”

disappears, and I can hear his wolf

while I simply stand there, staring after him. Im

to dissolve into a fresh bout of weeping. I consider

selfishly unloading my problems onto her, and

refrain.

in my head, whimpering like a pup and feeling

if more feral. She’s begging me to do

felt terrible for falling

much more distraught

She begs. I can’t stand it, we have to fix

I wasn’t on bed rest and

with him. Besides, he’ll only be angrier if we leave

house.

understanding, though she’s still beside herself. I climb

ball and pulling the blankets over my

though Sinclair has certainly been angry with me in the past.

thought. Why weren’t you

or when he spanked me or dragged

different. She argues. I was

past it’s been protective. This is the

hostile .. and the first time he’s walked out. What

her, but there’s a small part of me that

exact same thing.

to come back, even if he only returns to end our

somewhere deep down inside of

I’ll

worth the

pastures? My wolf presses.

ridiculous! I shout at her. His entire life is here. His pack is

integrity to abandon his

in her paws. It wouldn’t be the first time. He told us

their pup, especially with humans – but

us – what if he’s

if this was

it!” I cry aloud, clamping my hands over my

inside my head. “

stop it,

my chest, and the more time that passes, the