Chapter 121

Trigger Warning: This chapter contains experiences of abuse and s3xual assaultnothing explicit, but please take care reading..

Sinclair

Ella’s small body is completely stiff in my arms, even though we’re in her favorite

place. I’ve only bathed with her once before, but it didn’t take a rocket scientist to

figure out how much she loves a bubble bath. She takes at least four a week, and

when she’s upset I’ve known her to have a bath even after showering. Until I spoke

with Cora about Ella’s self-care practices, I didn’t understand the connection to her

childhood experience of neglect, but now that I know I’m determined never to deprive

her of the comfort even if my water bills go through the roof and the city goes into a

drought.

“Are you ready to talk this out, trouble?” I inquire, resting my hands on her round

tummy and feeling a pulse of stress from the baby. A fresh spark of worry assails me,

and I know that Rafe is channeling his mother’s fraught emotions. Ella doesn’t

respond to my question, and I press on, realizing that the poor little wolf isn’t going to

relax until she knows l’m not going to reject her”

Sweetheart, it never even crossed my mind to end things. I love you

Ella’s muscles tighten further, though I didn’t think such a thing was possible.

“But..She stammers, twisting around to look at me, “but you left!”

Im sorry that I walked out.”I reply gently, grazing my knuckles over her cheek. “But it

wasn’t because I ever had doubts about us.”I share, wondering about my sweet

mate’s reaction. I know some survivors of child abuse view any confrontation as a

disaster or threat, but Ella has weathered my anger in the past without any signs of a

trauma response. “I was angry that you thought you don’t contribute anything to our

you suggested you couldn’t

of losing you pushed me over the edge, and I

continuing.”

brow furrows, and I can see her grappling with

things.” She whispers, staring at

think maybe I have some abandonment issues

completely aware of. And Mike’s betrayal and learning that

them into very

me, and I gently flip her body the rest of

me completely, I snuggle her to

can straddle

so sorry, baby.” I profess, kissing her

you when you were already upset, I

when I’m that angry. The same way I would never make a

of a fury. I think taking some

but maybe we can find some

much physical distance.” I suggest. “But even if we can’t, you need

no matter how far I go or how long I stay away, I

you, Ella.”

her arms tighten around

hiccups, “and I’m sorry I said I couldn’t be your Luna, but you

not pulling my weight here. This isn’t the first time I’ve tried

for you and failed.”

look at me for a moment.” I order, sliding my finger under her

take care of me all the time. You

keep

l’m being an ogre You stand up to bullies like the

even when I don’t want you to. Moreover, I

an Alpha’s DNA to nurture and protect. If you didn’t

I would be a

didn’t

thing.” I sigh, recalling the terror that came over

her up. I’ve growled and

her over my knee and overpowered her countless times without

most of the time her wolf responds to my bossiness

both know this didn’t happen randomly. I

didn’t I?”

holding Ella’s chin, but her eyes look

fingers as Ella gives a slight nod, and then her wide gaze

so vulnerable that my heart aches. “Do we

no, promise that she won’t

I know that wouldn’t help anything. “We’re in

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