Baby Daddy Facade

"I was nauseous and tingly all over . . . . I was either in love or I had smallpox." ~Woody Allen.

***

Raina Williams.

The weekend was wonderful. I spent time with my family except Kyle because he recently started his college semester at the New York University of Colombia but he promised to visit LA soon. My brother and I have always been close, i love him dearly and I'm super proud of him. On Sartuday we went fishing with my mom and dad... suddenly it felt like the old days. The twins learnt a thing or two, i took loads of pictures and sent them to their father. I promised myself no matter how angry I get with Angelo, one thing I will never do is deprive my children of being with their father. My father was always good at fishing, he used to take Kyle and I every weekend when we were kids. Being in the urban area for a while gets sickening but here I was at a lake, the water green and mesmerising...the tall trees everywhere, Birds chirping blissfully. It gave me time to think and to accept the things that I cannot change.

Sunday, We went to church. I missed the presence of just being there but I felt like a sinner and I felt like I wasn't worthy of even being in church. My father was preaching about Forgiving Yourself. I listened very carefully because I felt like he was talking directly to me even though everyone in church was cheering and feeling blessed by the message. After church we had lunch, honestly I felt happy, happier than I had been in the past years. I didn't have regrets anymore, things happen for a reason and I shouldn't doubt God's love for me. Like my father always says...

"You plan, I plan but at the end of the day ; Only God's plans prevails."

Monday, we returned back to Los Angeles and I felt like I was ready to face the world and my demons.

"Hey, how was your trip ?" Grayson pulled me into a hug.

"It was splendid." I smirked faking a fake British accent.

"Daddy daddy, you came?" I heard Ashley squealing I turned around only to see the twins embraced in their fathers arms. I gave Grayson a 'Wtf' look and he returned a 'I don't know' innocent look.

"Dad, we went fishing it was so coooool." Ashton said in a excited tone. I could see Angelo nodding to everything they were saying. That's when I mentally slapped myself when I remembered that he had recently asked details about our flight and I texted him not knowing he was going to come. After the hefty reunion he walked up to me and Grayson, he looked handsome as always in his black Adidas tracksuit and matching Nike kicks...otherwise looks like he was just coming from the gym.

"Hey...I didn't know you would

beside

it couldn't wait besides I missed the twins so much." He

right, you could have waited at home." Grayson rolled his eyes. "I think

you are starting to annoy the

Gray." Ashton pulled on

a smile. His stubble

Shut up.

while you have a talk with your whatever he is to you." Grayson kissed my cheek as he walked out of the airport

we, Angelo held Ashley and I held Ashton, people stared and awed at us as we made our way

-

am a fool because it has been all over twitter and the magazines but I had to play it cool. I sat down impatiently in Starbucks, Ashton and Ashley we on the other side of the booth while we sat together on the

my side as I sipped

know...whatever that is happening won't affect the twins relationship with

just spit it

to Yaya on Friday and-" I immediately cut

you." I pulled him into a hug, he was tense and a bit

He asked trying

super okay, I mean I have to congratulate Yaya as