Chapter 86

Somedays… I question getting out of bed.

I’d add today to that list because… dying.

And I really don’t want to d ie. But how cr uel is this world

that the one thing I wanted… The one thing I hoped could be

granted to me finally is.

Only when I’m too si ck to see the dream become a reality.

I think of the little boy or girl who I’ll probably never get to hold. The eyes like mine or dark like Aaron’s. If they’d have his strength and my compassion. If they’d like chocolate or vanilla

ice cream.

I close my eyes and imagine their laughter. Their first steps.

Seeing them grow up and marry and start their own families.

The hugs and cuddles I’ll never feel. The baby I’ll never get to feed or rock to sleep.

to read, to ride a bike.

climb trees.

my arms when they’re si ck or

them I love them each

come to me and

phone. I scroll to

call

the truth. To share this

least…I think he’d be

probably shouldn’t assume.

Aaron’s claim to this pack through

stomach.

I feel like I can’t

texts me: We need to abort. You can

ncer. You can try again

values my life over

the right choice,

doesn’t

baby deserves a

through my phone to another name. The one

far from my mind, no matter how much

ew it. I

the second

That voice.

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