Chapter 86

Somedays… I question getting out of bed.

I’d add today to that list because… dying.

And I really don’t want to d ie. But how cr uel is this world

that the one thing I wanted… The one thing I hoped could be

granted to me finally is.

Only when I’m too si ck to see the dream become a reality.

I think of the little boy or girl who I’ll probably never get to hold. The eyes like mine or dark like Aaron’s. If they’d have his strength and my compassion. If they’d like chocolate or vanilla

ice cream.

I close my eyes and imagine their laughter. Their first steps.

Seeing them grow up and marry and start their own families.

The hugs and cuddles I’ll never feel. The baby I’ll never get to feed or rock to sleep.

learning to read,

climb trees.

in my arms when they’re si ck or

them each

thoughts come to me and melt away.

my phone. I

call

me wants him to have the truth. To

he’d be

shouldn’t assume.

my pack would be pleased. It cements Aaron’s claim to this pack

stomach.

love swirls in my heart I feel like

me: We need to

the ca ncer. You can try again for a baby,

life

it’s probably the right

doesn’t

baby deserves a chance.

phone to another name.

mind, no matter how

ew it. I hit send.

answered on the second ring. “Hey

That voice.

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