Blackmailed For Love

Hi, my name is Anna.

Because my Mama thought it would be cool to name me that because her name was Elsa.

But unlike Mama, I did not have golden, sun-like hair, nor her blue eyes.

My eyes were grey, Mama said that they reflect light and change from bright to dark- I didn't know the difference though, and my hair was as black as a dark night.

Mama said that they were beautiful but sometimes I wish I had her hair.

1 Because I got my hair and eyes from my father.

And it was a subject that my mother rarely talked about or when she did, only when I would insist on it, she would get sad.

You must be wondering, how did I know so much when I was just a five year old, right? Well… I was soon to be six years old, if that helps.

But let me tell you a secret, I was really smart even when I was five.

I knew my multiplication tables up to thirty.

I could add and subtract without using the pencil and eraser.

I knew pneumonia starts with p.

And I knew my grandfather wasn't a nice man.

I knew Mama was worried about me and Gammy.

I knew Gammy was sick and it wasn't just cold.

Also my father's name was Kristian.

3 I knew it because Mama sometimes dreamed about him.

I knew it because I heard Gammy talk to Mama.

Gammy told Mama to ask for my father's help but Mama didn't want to.

I didn't know why Mama never talks about my father.

Sometimes, I felt angry that she wouldn't tell me anything about him.

Sometimes, I felt sad that she had to be the only one to take care of us.

Sometimes I wanted to ask her that she tell me everything about my father and take me to him.

Sometimes, I was afraid that if I met my father, he would take me away from Mama, just like Mama did me from him.

4 Sometimes, I just didn't want to be this smart.

Mama didn't know, because I took my time writing down my sums even though I already knew the answers.

Sometimes, I just pretended to not be interested in reading and studying.

But they were the only things that made sense, not like how Mama pretended to be happy when she was actually sad.

Right now, Mama was standing behind a tree and a tall man was standing in front of her.

I couldn't see him as he was hidden behind a tree so I walked to the edge of the park and called, "Mama!"

But she didn't hear me.

The tall man suddenly turned around and walked away.

I wondered if he was the one she wanted to be friends with.

Was he the one she went on a dinner with last night? Mama had never gone to dinner with a friend before, and it made me feel really sad for her.

I got excited yesterday when I heard that she was going to dinner and it was the reason I gave her my lucky charm.

I hope it worked.

Mama could really use a friend.

Just like I made new ones today.

I looked back to where the two girls were still playing with the flying disk.

Phoebe and Hanna were nice.

It felt nice to be out here and play with other girls of the same age.

I really enjoyed myself.

It felt normal.

was nice to pretend that everything was normal even though I knew they weren't even as

we would get to stay here longer than the other places but

best for us and she had her reasons, though she never told

"Anna?"

to face Mama and notice her blotchy

She was crying.

"I live here, Elsa.

I own this building."

scared anew as he walked

view once again near the pool and then walked up the

feeling like a lone tree standing in a storm and made my way toward

at the edge of the park behind the small hedge that served

heart felt a hundred times heavy as I walked

"Mama?"

swallowed my tears and

"Come, angel.

go up to

here for a long time

easily wrapped

why are

She asked.

"I am not, angel."

small hand pressed to my cheek and she turned my face

pressed her cheek against mine

as she hugged me tight, her face

the apartment I found Mom in the kitchen, making herself a herbal tea that she had always liked but now it

know what we

tuned out my daughter's excited chatter as she started to tell her about everything she did downstairs, and made

the door behind me and let the tears

was

the same building as

fûcking owned

should've known, nothing could

not today, then one day in the near future

In an elevator.

Outside, in the hallway.

he dropped in unannounced just to

be something I wouldn't be

me for what I

that I hid his daughter, all this time, he would loathe

would've

was no

know what happened all

I would try again, I'd ask

couldn't not believe

he couldn't take my daughter away

choosing to tell him everything, he had to consider it and

a shower and dressing up for the day in one of the sundresses that filled my closet, I came out into the living

and that

windows

but before I could tell her about the appointment we have at ten, she said, "You know… When you were little, you could always sense when I felt upset and you'd just come to

looked out of

father's daughter because of the way she looks and how

myself, my heart swelling

shoulder and said, "But

She has your chann.

she has your

of you,

"Don't call me that."

I hated that endearment.

pretends to be

isn't getting a chance to enjoy

my eyes to her and met the blues that were just like

said, "I never wanted this for

She nodded.

"I know.

wanted all that happened

have a choice,

isn't

something happen to his own flesh

nodded, a tear escaping

away and pressed my lips tightly