Blackmailed For Love

Hi, my name is Anna.

Because my Mama thought it would be cool to name me that because her name was Elsa.

But unlike Mama, I did not have golden, sun-like hair, nor her blue eyes.

My eyes were grey, Mama said that they reflect light and change from bright to dark- I didn't know the difference though, and my hair was as black as a dark night.

Mama said that they were beautiful but sometimes I wish I had her hair.

1 Because I got my hair and eyes from my father.

And it was a subject that my mother rarely talked about or when she did, only when I would insist on it, she would get sad.

You must be wondering, how did I know so much when I was just a five year old, right? Well… I was soon to be six years old, if that helps.

But let me tell you a secret, I was really smart even when I was five.

I knew my multiplication tables up to thirty.

I could add and subtract without using the pencil and eraser.

I knew pneumonia starts with p.

And I knew my grandfather wasn't a nice man.

I knew Mama was worried about me and Gammy.

I knew Gammy was sick and it wasn't just cold.

Also my father's name was Kristian.

3 I knew it because Mama sometimes dreamed about him.

I knew it because I heard Gammy talk to Mama.

Gammy told Mama to ask for my father's help but Mama didn't want to.

I didn't know why Mama never talks about my father.

Sometimes, I felt angry that she wouldn't tell me anything about him.

Sometimes, I felt sad that she had to be the only one to take care of us.

Sometimes I wanted to ask her that she tell me everything about my father and take me to him.

Sometimes, I was afraid that if I met my father, he would take me away from Mama, just like Mama did me from him.

4 Sometimes, I just didn't want to be this smart.

Mama didn't know, because I took my time writing down my sums even though I already knew the answers.

Sometimes, I just pretended to not be interested in reading and studying.

But they were the only things that made sense, not like how Mama pretended to be happy when she was actually sad.

Right now, Mama was standing behind a tree and a tall man was standing in front of her.

I couldn't see him as he was hidden behind a tree so I walked to the edge of the park and called, "Mama!"

But she didn't hear me.

The tall man suddenly turned around and walked away.

I wondered if he was the one she wanted to be friends with.

Was he the one she went on a dinner with last night? Mama had never gone to dinner with a friend before, and it made me feel really sad for her.

I got excited yesterday when I heard that she was going to dinner and it was the reason I gave her my lucky charm.

I hope it worked.

Mama could really use a friend.

Just like I made new ones today.

I looked back to where the two girls were still playing with the flying disk.

Phoebe and Hanna were nice.

It felt nice to be out here and play with other girls of the same age.

I really enjoyed myself.

It felt normal.

And it was nice to pretend that everything was normal even

get to stay here longer than the

best for us and she had her reasons, though she never

"Anna?"

face Mama and notice her blotchy cheeks and red

She was crying.

"I live here, Elsa.

I own this building."

stood there shocked and scared anew as he walked away and disappeared out of the

him until he came into view once again near the pool and then walked up the

tree standing in a storm and made my way

the edge of the park behind the small hedge

a hundred times heavy as I

"Mama?"

swallowed my tears

"Come, angel.

go up to the

been here for a long

easily wrapped

are

She asked.

"I am not, angel."

cheek and she turned my

against mine and

as she hugged me tight, her face

I found Mom in the kitchen, making herself a herbal tea that she had always liked but now it was

you know

out my daughter's excited chatter as she started to tell her about everything she did downstairs, and made

me and let the tears fall

knew what I was going to do

lived in the same building

fûcking owned the

could be ever this

one day in the

In an elevator.

Outside, in the hallway.

in unannounced just to

be something I wouldn't be able

for what

that I hid his daughter, all this

I would've to tell

was no other

all those years ago and wish

that I would try again, I'd ask him

couldn't not

he couldn't take my daughter away from

was choosing to tell

a shower and dressing up for the day in one of the sundresses that filled my closet, I came out into the living room to find my little angel stuffing her face with Oreos and watching another of the

smiling and that

found Mom near the windows and came to stand

tell her about the appointment we have at ten, she said, "You know… When you were little, you could always sense when I felt upset and you'd just come to me and

looked out of

daughter because of the way

my

her hand on my shoulder and said, "But she

She has your chann.

has your

of

"Don't call me that."

I hated that endearment.

and said, "She smiles and pretends to be the kid we

you, she isn't getting a chance to enjoy

met

never wanted this for

She nodded.

"I know.

I never wanted

you have a

father isn't like

something happen to his own flesh and

a tear

lips tightly until the sob crawled back