Blackmailed For Love

Hi, my name is Anna.

Because my Mama thought it would be cool to name me that because her name was Elsa.

But unlike Mama, I did not have golden, sun-like hair, nor her blue eyes.

My eyes were grey, Mama said that they reflect light and change from bright to dark- I didn't know the difference though, and my hair was as black as a dark night.

Mama said that they were beautiful but sometimes I wish I had her hair.

1 Because I got my hair and eyes from my father.

And it was a subject that my mother rarely talked about or when she did, only when I would insist on it, she would get sad.

You must be wondering, how did I know so much when I was just a five year old, right? Well… I was soon to be six years old, if that helps.

But let me tell you a secret, I was really smart even when I was five.

I knew my multiplication tables up to thirty.

I could add and subtract without using the pencil and eraser.

I knew pneumonia starts with p.

And I knew my grandfather wasn't a nice man.

I knew Mama was worried about me and Gammy.

I knew Gammy was sick and it wasn't just cold.

Also my father's name was Kristian.

3 I knew it because Mama sometimes dreamed about him.

I knew it because I heard Gammy talk to Mama.

Gammy told Mama to ask for my father's help but Mama didn't want to.

I didn't know why Mama never talks about my father.

Sometimes, I felt angry that she wouldn't tell me anything about him.

Sometimes, I felt sad that she had to be the only one to take care of us.

Sometimes I wanted to ask her that she tell me everything about my father and take me to him.

Sometimes, I was afraid that if I met my father, he would take me away from Mama, just like Mama did me from him.

4 Sometimes, I just didn't want to be this smart.

Mama didn't know, because I took my time writing down my sums even though I already knew the answers.

Sometimes, I just pretended to not be interested in reading and studying.

But they were the only things that made sense, not like how Mama pretended to be happy when she was actually sad.

Right now, Mama was standing behind a tree and a tall man was standing in front of her.

I couldn't see him as he was hidden behind a tree so I walked to the edge of the park and called, "Mama!"

But she didn't hear me.

The tall man suddenly turned around and walked away.

I wondered if he was the one she wanted to be friends with.

Was he the one she went on a dinner with last night? Mama had never gone to dinner with a friend before, and it made me feel really sad for her.

I got excited yesterday when I heard that she was going to dinner and it was the reason I gave her my lucky charm.

I hope it worked.

Mama could really use a friend.

Just like I made new ones today.

I looked back to where the two girls were still playing with the flying disk.

Phoebe and Hanna were nice.

It felt nice to be out here and play with other girls of the same age.

I really enjoyed myself.

It felt normal.

seen such a beautiful park, And it was nice to pretend that everything was normal even though I knew they weren't even

we would get to stay here longer than the other

wanted the best for us and she had her reasons, though

"Anna?"

to face Mama and notice

She was crying.

"I live here, Elsa.

I own this building."

there shocked and scared anew as he walked away and disappeared out of

watched him until he came into view once again near the pool and then walked up the stairs

lone tree standing in a storm and made my way toward the

the

a hundred times heavy as I walked to

"Mama?"

tears and smiled at

"Come, angel.

go up to the

have been here for a long time

easily wrapped her arms around my

are you

She asked.

"I am not, angel."

small hand pressed to my cheek and

cheek against mine and said, "You

she hugged me

I found Mom in the kitchen, making herself a herbal tea

know what

chatter as she started to tell her about everything she did

me and let the tears fall

was

lived in the same building as

owned

should've known, nothing could be ever

one day in the

In an elevator.

Outside, in the hallway.

in unannounced

be something I wouldn't be able to

hated me for what

after finding out that I hid his daughter, all this

I would've

no

know what happened all those years

decided that I would try again, I'd ask him to trust me and listen to my

couldn't not believe

my daughter away from

was choosing to tell him everything,

my closet, I came out into the living room to find

was smiling and that was

found Mom near the windows and

about the appointment we have at ten, she said, "You know… When you were little, you could always sense when I felt upset and you'd

looked out of the

her father's daughter because of the way she looks and

myself, my

put her hand on my shoulder and said, "But she

She has your chann.

has

both of you,

"Don't call me that."

I hated that endearment.

"She smiles and pretends to be the

isn't getting a

my eyes to her and met the blues that

never wanted this

She nodded.

"I know.

wanted all that

you have a

father isn't

something happen to

nodded, a tear escaping my

away and pressed my lips tightly until the sob crawled back