Blackmailed For Love

Hi, my name is Anna.

Because my Mama thought it would be cool to name me that because her name was Elsa.

But unlike Mama, I did not have golden, sun-like hair, nor her blue eyes.

My eyes were grey, Mama said that they reflect light and change from bright to dark- I didn't know the difference though, and my hair was as black as a dark night.

Mama said that they were beautiful but sometimes I wish I had her hair.

1 Because I got my hair and eyes from my father.

And it was a subject that my mother rarely talked about or when she did, only when I would insist on it, she would get sad.

You must be wondering, how did I know so much when I was just a five year old, right? Well… I was soon to be six years old, if that helps.

But let me tell you a secret, I was really smart even when I was five.

I knew my multiplication tables up to thirty.

I could add and subtract without using the pencil and eraser.

I knew pneumonia starts with p.

And I knew my grandfather wasn't a nice man.

I knew Mama was worried about me and Gammy.

I knew Gammy was sick and it wasn't just cold.

Also my father's name was Kristian.

3 I knew it because Mama sometimes dreamed about him.

I knew it because I heard Gammy talk to Mama.

Gammy told Mama to ask for my father's help but Mama didn't want to.

I didn't know why Mama never talks about my father.

Sometimes, I felt angry that she wouldn't tell me anything about him.

Sometimes, I felt sad that she had to be the only one to take care of us.

Sometimes I wanted to ask her that she tell me everything about my father and take me to him.

Sometimes, I was afraid that if I met my father, he would take me away from Mama, just like Mama did me from him.

4 Sometimes, I just didn't want to be this smart.

Mama didn't know, because I took my time writing down my sums even though I already knew the answers.

Sometimes, I just pretended to not be interested in reading and studying.

But they were the only things that made sense, not like how Mama pretended to be happy when she was actually sad.

Right now, Mama was standing behind a tree and a tall man was standing in front of her.

I couldn't see him as he was hidden behind a tree so I walked to the edge of the park and called, "Mama!"

But she didn't hear me.

The tall man suddenly turned around and walked away.

I wondered if he was the one she wanted to be friends with.

Was he the one she went on a dinner with last night? Mama had never gone to dinner with a friend before, and it made me feel really sad for her.

I got excited yesterday when I heard that she was going to dinner and it was the reason I gave her my lucky charm.

I hope it worked.

Mama could really use a friend.

Just like I made new ones today.

I looked back to where the two girls were still playing with the flying disk.

Phoebe and Hanna were nice.

It felt nice to be out here and play with other girls of the same age.

I really enjoyed myself.

It felt normal.

nice to pretend that everything was normal even though I knew they weren't even as

to stay here longer than the other places but I won't complain if Mama moved us

had her

"Anna?"

and notice her blotchy cheeks and red

She was crying.

"I live here, Elsa.

I own this building."

and scared anew as he walked away and disappeared

once again near the pool and then walked up the stairs to

around feeling like a lone tree standing in a storm and made my

standing at the edge of the park behind the small

felt a hundred times

"Mama?"

tears and

"Come, angel.

go up to the

here for

picked her up and she easily wrapped her arms around

are

She asked.

"I am not, angel."

cheek and she turned my face

her cheek against mine and said, "You

else as she hugged me tight,

a herbal tea that she had always

you know

tuned out my daughter's excited chatter as she started to tell her about everything she

door behind me and let the tears fall

knew what I was going

the same

owned

known, nothing could be

today, then one day in

In an elevator.

Outside, in the hallway.

in unannounced just to torment

then his anger would be something I wouldn't

me for what I

his daughter, all this time, he

I would've to

no other choice

know what happened all

my tears and decided that I would try again, I'd ask him to trust me

couldn't not

he couldn't take my daughter away from me

had one, I was choosing to tell him everything, he had to consider it and believe

in one of the sundresses that filled my closet, I came

was smiling and that was

found Mom near the windows and

I could tell her about the appointment we have at ten, she said, "You know… When you were little, you could

looked out

she is her father's daughter because of the way she looks and how

myself, my heart swelling with

mother put her hand on my shoulder and said, "But she has your

She has your chann.

she has your heart,

both of you,

"Don't call me that."

I hated that endearment.

"She smiles and pretends

like you, she isn't getting a

turned my eyes to her and met the blues that

never wanted

She nodded.

"I know.

I never wanted all that happened to

have a choice,

isn't

something happen to his own

nodded, a tear escaping

quickly wiped it away and pressed my lips tightly until the sob crawled back down