Blackmailed For Love

Hi, my name is Anna.

Because my Mama thought it would be cool to name me that because her name was Elsa.

But unlike Mama, I did not have golden, sun-like hair, nor her blue eyes.

My eyes were grey, Mama said that they reflect light and change from bright to dark- I didn't know the difference though, and my hair was as black as a dark night.

Mama said that they were beautiful but sometimes I wish I had her hair.

1 Because I got my hair and eyes from my father.

And it was a subject that my mother rarely talked about or when she did, only when I would insist on it, she would get sad.

You must be wondering, how did I know so much when I was just a five year old, right? Well… I was soon to be six years old, if that helps.

But let me tell you a secret, I was really smart even when I was five.

I knew my multiplication tables up to thirty.

I could add and subtract without using the pencil and eraser.

I knew pneumonia starts with p.

And I knew my grandfather wasn't a nice man.

I knew Mama was worried about me and Gammy.

I knew Gammy was sick and it wasn't just cold.

Also my father's name was Kristian.

3 I knew it because Mama sometimes dreamed about him.

I knew it because I heard Gammy talk to Mama.

Gammy told Mama to ask for my father's help but Mama didn't want to.

I didn't know why Mama never talks about my father.

Sometimes, I felt angry that she wouldn't tell me anything about him.

Sometimes, I felt sad that she had to be the only one to take care of us.

Sometimes I wanted to ask her that she tell me everything about my father and take me to him.

Sometimes, I was afraid that if I met my father, he would take me away from Mama, just like Mama did me from him.

4 Sometimes, I just didn't want to be this smart.

Mama didn't know, because I took my time writing down my sums even though I already knew the answers.

Sometimes, I just pretended to not be interested in reading and studying.

But they were the only things that made sense, not like how Mama pretended to be happy when she was actually sad.

Right now, Mama was standing behind a tree and a tall man was standing in front of her.

I couldn't see him as he was hidden behind a tree so I walked to the edge of the park and called, "Mama!"

But she didn't hear me.

The tall man suddenly turned around and walked away.

I wondered if he was the one she wanted to be friends with.

Was he the one she went on a dinner with last night? Mama had never gone to dinner with a friend before, and it made me feel really sad for her.

I got excited yesterday when I heard that she was going to dinner and it was the reason I gave her my lucky charm.

I hope it worked.

Mama could really use a friend.

Just like I made new ones today.

I looked back to where the two girls were still playing with the flying disk.

Phoebe and Hanna were nice.

It felt nice to be out here and play with other girls of the same age.

I really enjoyed myself.

It felt normal.

it was nice to pretend that everything was normal even

we would get to stay here longer than the other places but

she had her reasons, though she never told me

"Anna?"

turned around to face Mama and

She was crying.

"I live here, Elsa.

I own this building."

he walked away and disappeared out of the

pool and then walked up the stairs

tree standing in a storm and made my way toward

at the edge of the park behind the small hedge

a hundred times heavy as I

"Mama?"

swallowed my tears

"Come, angel.

go up

have been here for a

she easily wrapped her arms around my

why are

She asked.

"I am not, angel."

and

cheek against mine and said, "You

didn't say anything else as she hugged

apartment I found Mom in the kitchen, making herself a herbal tea that she had always liked but now

you know what

to tell her

and let the tears fall

was going to do

in the same

fûcking owned

should've known, nothing could be ever this

then one day in the near future he would see

In an elevator.

Outside, in the hallway.

dropped in unannounced just

be something

hated me for

out that I hid his daughter, all this time,

would've to

no other choice

him know what happened all those

would try again, I'd ask him to trust me and listen to

not believe

he couldn't take my daughter away

when I had one, I was choosing to tell him everything, he

filled my closet, I came out into the living room to find my little angel stuffing her face with Oreos and watching another of the senseless cartoons she

smiling and that was

near the windows and came to

my mouth but before I could tell her about the appointment we have at ten, she said, "You know… When you were little,

out of

because of the way she looks and how quick she's with certain

smiled to myself, my

her hand on my shoulder and said, "But she

She has your chann.

has your

both of you,

"Don't call me that."

I hated that endearment.

pretends to be

like you, she isn't getting a chance to

my eyes to her and met the blues that were just

"I never wanted this

She nodded.

"I know.

wanted all that happened

you have a choice,

father isn't like

die before letting something happen

nodded, a tear

pressed my lips tightly until the sob crawled back