Blackmailed For Love

Hi, my name is Anna.

Because my Mama thought it would be cool to name me that because her name was Elsa.

But unlike Mama, I did not have golden, sun-like hair, nor her blue eyes.

My eyes were grey, Mama said that they reflect light and change from bright to dark- I didn't know the difference though, and my hair was as black as a dark night.

Mama said that they were beautiful but sometimes I wish I had her hair.

1 Because I got my hair and eyes from my father.

And it was a subject that my mother rarely talked about or when she did, only when I would insist on it, she would get sad.

You must be wondering, how did I know so much when I was just a five year old, right? Well… I was soon to be six years old, if that helps.

But let me tell you a secret, I was really smart even when I was five.

I knew my multiplication tables up to thirty.

I could add and subtract without using the pencil and eraser.

I knew pneumonia starts with p.

And I knew my grandfather wasn't a nice man.

I knew Mama was worried about me and Gammy.

I knew Gammy was sick and it wasn't just cold.

Also my father's name was Kristian.

3 I knew it because Mama sometimes dreamed about him.

I knew it because I heard Gammy talk to Mama.

Gammy told Mama to ask for my father's help but Mama didn't want to.

I didn't know why Mama never talks about my father.

Sometimes, I felt angry that she wouldn't tell me anything about him.

Sometimes, I felt sad that she had to be the only one to take care of us.

Sometimes I wanted to ask her that she tell me everything about my father and take me to him.

Sometimes, I was afraid that if I met my father, he would take me away from Mama, just like Mama did me from him.

4 Sometimes, I just didn't want to be this smart.

Mama didn't know, because I took my time writing down my sums even though I already knew the answers.

Sometimes, I just pretended to not be interested in reading and studying.

But they were the only things that made sense, not like how Mama pretended to be happy when she was actually sad.

Right now, Mama was standing behind a tree and a tall man was standing in front of her.

I couldn't see him as he was hidden behind a tree so I walked to the edge of the park and called, "Mama!"

But she didn't hear me.

The tall man suddenly turned around and walked away.

I wondered if he was the one she wanted to be friends with.

Was he the one she went on a dinner with last night? Mama had never gone to dinner with a friend before, and it made me feel really sad for her.

I got excited yesterday when I heard that she was going to dinner and it was the reason I gave her my lucky charm.

I hope it worked.

Mama could really use a friend.

Just like I made new ones today.

I looked back to where the two girls were still playing with the flying disk.

Phoebe and Hanna were nice.

It felt nice to be out here and play with other girls of the same age.

I really enjoyed myself.

It felt normal.

a beautiful park, And it was nice to pretend that everything was normal even though I knew they weren't even as

we would get to stay here longer than the other places but I won't

had her reasons, though she never told

"Anna?"

around to face Mama and notice her blotchy cheeks

She was crying.

"I live here, Elsa.

I own this building."

stood there shocked and scared anew as he walked away and disappeared out of the

pool and then walked up the stairs to the doors that led

around feeling like a lone tree standing in a storm and made my way toward the

at the edge of the park behind the small hedge

times

"Mama?"

my tears and

"Come, angel.

go up to the

been here for a long

up and she easily wrapped her arms around

why are you

She asked.

"I am not, angel."

and she turned my face

mine and

anything else as she hugged me

apartment I found Mom in the kitchen, making herself a herbal tea that she

you know what we

daughter's excited chatter as she started to tell her about everything she did downstairs,

behind me and let the tears fall

knew what I was

lived in the same

fûcking owned

nothing could be ever

in the

In an elevator.

Outside, in the hallway.

he dropped in

be something I wouldn't be

hated me for

out that I hid his daughter, all

I would've

no other choice

know what happened all those years

decided that I would try again, I'd ask him to trust me and listen to

couldn't not

daughter away from

I was choosing to tell him

day in one of the sundresses that filled my closet, I came out into the living room to find my little angel stuffing her face

was smiling and

windows and came to

about the appointment we have at ten, she said, "You know… When you

looked out of the

the way she looks and how quick

my heart

put her hand on my shoulder and said, "But she has your

She has your chann.

has your

both of

"Don't call me that."

I hated that endearment.

pretends to be the

a chance to

met the blues

said, "I never wanted

She nodded.

"I know.

I never wanted

have

isn't like

would die before letting something happen to his own

a tear escaping

pressed my lips tightly until