Caged Between the beta & alpha

A week had passed , and I finally decided t o brave stepping outside .

Everyone was being extra supportive , constantly keeping me company or mind linking me t o ask how I’m feeling or what I’m up to but really , I just needed everyone to act normal .

I didn’t want this pity .

Kiara was the only one who really understood that , when she texted , it was just pictures of the twins or Dante , or talking about general things .

I just wanted everything to return to normal , but could they ? My emotions were hot and cold , I went from happy to utterly defeated within moments of each other

.

Sometimes I’d remember flashes of the cottage and him telling me he would wait for me , and then I’d see him ripping through my neck .

I kept waking up at night , those bottomless pits of his eyes flashing in my mind , his canines out as he bit me ….

My last thoughts were always the same in my nightmares .

Liam won’t hurt me .

I now wrapped my arms around myself as

I walked through the pack grounds , just fresh air .

wanting to think things through in the I had wanted to return to training but Damon had said it was better I didn’t , I knew why : Everyone was talking .

I’m going to have to face it sooner or later .

I didn’t want to be cocooned up .

Sighing , I tugged at the sleeve of my ribbed black shirt , which had three buttons at the top which I had left open .

I was wearing some ripped jeans with net tights under , paired with some black heeled boots .

I looked at the small plushie in my hand .

Sparks … I wanted to go back to the graveyard but I hadn’t been able to … Right now , I just need someone to talk to .

He was the only real family I had , I’m sure if he was here , he’d love me , right ? I heard snickering and looked up to see Owen smirking as he walked past me , smart enough not to push me .

Guess he learned his lesson last time .

I ignored him and headed to the graveyard .

It was a dull day today … I pushed open the small gate and made my way over to Renji’s grave .

I sat down on my knees before it and looked down at it .

Like always , it was well kept .

” Hello Renji , I hope you’re ok … A lot’s happened since the last time I came here ….

I’m sorry it took me so long when I promised to meet you …

to come … I’m

is with you now or not ? ” I asked softly , placing Sparks at the foot of the

Sparks is back … He’s s o happy to be here again

soft wind blew

I was going to reject

going to do it

… He marked me forcefully … and I haven’t seen him since … ” I whispered , feeling my eyes prickle

don’t know what

hurt … I know what he did wasn’t right

about

… scared … ” ” 1 I covered my face as the tears

and I

I mention him and everyone

I haven’t mind linked him either

” I whispered .

much , I get that , but at the same time , I can’t just forget what he

wasn’t this the time to help him ? The fear of

I gasped , jerking away as I stared up

my thoughts that I

Are you ok ? ” She asked with concern clear in her

wiping my tears

,

I said ,

a strong woman

to

said , her eyes filled with confidence as she patted

I hoped so .

don’t know what to do

Thank you .

I said softly

up and she nodded

grave , bidding him a silent farewell before I turned and left

Uncle El a few

his hands into the pockets of his jeans as he stood in front

although I wanted to return to the

looked down at

feel ? ” Lost … Sometimes I feel like I got this , I can do this

It’s not ok and it’s alright to

said quietly

think you need to stop trying to accept things ,

1 I stayed quiet and

? I want her back , I want her to consider her happiness above all

curse is not on you , if it’s meant to be broken

it doesn’t mean you need to be sacrificed or influenced to make decisions because

you want without any external factors weighing on your decision

feeling guilty of this