Caged Between the beta & alpha

A week had passed , and I finally decided t o brave stepping outside .

Everyone was being extra supportive , constantly keeping me company or mind linking me t o ask how I’m feeling or what I’m up to but really , I just needed everyone to act normal .

I didn’t want this pity .

Kiara was the only one who really understood that , when she texted , it was just pictures of the twins or Dante , or talking about general things .

I just wanted everything to return to normal , but could they ? My emotions were hot and cold , I went from happy to utterly defeated within moments of each other

.

Sometimes I’d remember flashes of the cottage and him telling me he would wait for me , and then I’d see him ripping through my neck .

I kept waking up at night , those bottomless pits of his eyes flashing in my mind , his canines out as he bit me ….

My last thoughts were always the same in my nightmares .

Liam won’t hurt me .

I now wrapped my arms around myself as

I walked through the pack grounds , just fresh air .

wanting to think things through in the I had wanted to return to training but Damon had said it was better I didn’t , I knew why : Everyone was talking .

I’m going to have to face it sooner or later .

I didn’t want to be cocooned up .

Sighing , I tugged at the sleeve of my ribbed black shirt , which had three buttons at the top which I had left open .

I was wearing some ripped jeans with net tights under , paired with some black heeled boots .

I looked at the small plushie in my hand .

Sparks … I wanted to go back to the graveyard but I hadn’t been able to … Right now , I just need someone to talk to .

He was the only real family I had , I’m sure if he was here , he’d love me , right ? I heard snickering and looked up to see Owen smirking as he walked past me , smart enough not to push me .

Guess he learned his lesson last time .

I ignored him and headed to the graveyard .

It was a dull day today … I pushed open the small gate and made my way over to Renji’s grave .

I sat down on my knees before it and looked down at it .

Like always , it was well kept .

” Hello Renji , I hope you’re ok … A lot’s happened since the last time I came here ….

I’m sorry it took me so long when I promised to meet you …

to come …

Mom is with you now or not ? ” I asked softly , placing Sparks at the foot

back … He’s s

soft wind blew through my

I was going to reject

to do it

… but … He marked me forcefully … and I haven’t seen him since … ” I whispered , feeling my eyes

don’t know what to feel

confused , upset , hurt … I know what he did

about him

in the cells , but I’m also … scared … ” ” 1 I covered my face

and I sobbed quietly

mention him and everyone gets

that I want to talk to him ? But I haven’t mind linked him either … I … I’m scared … I

” I whispered .

that , but at the same time , I can’t just forget what he

? The

shoulder and I gasped

absorbed i n my thoughts that I hadn’t even

? ” She asked with concern clear

nodded , wiping my

Yes , I

said ,

You’re a strong woman

going to be

her eyes filled with

I hoped so .

to do

Thank you .

I said

up and

silent farewell before I turned and

remembering a conversation I had with Uncle El a

shoving his hands into the

I wanted to return to the packhouse , it

down at my

I got this ,

not ok and it’s alright to

He said quietly

I think you need to stop trying to accept things , think deeply of

1 I stayed quiet and he

Where’s the confident Raven who was ready to own everything ? I want her back , I want her to consider her happiness above

not on you , if it’s meant to be

you need to be sacrificed or influenced to make decisions

want without

of this or that