Caged Between the beta & alpha

A week had passed , and I finally decided t o brave stepping outside .

Everyone was being extra supportive , constantly keeping me company or mind linking me t o ask how I’m feeling or what I’m up to but really , I just needed everyone to act normal .

I didn’t want this pity .

Kiara was the only one who really understood that , when she texted , it was just pictures of the twins or Dante , or talking about general things .

I just wanted everything to return to normal , but could they ? My emotions were hot and cold , I went from happy to utterly defeated within moments of each other

.

Sometimes I’d remember flashes of the cottage and him telling me he would wait for me , and then I’d see him ripping through my neck .

I kept waking up at night , those bottomless pits of his eyes flashing in my mind , his canines out as he bit me ….

My last thoughts were always the same in my nightmares .

Liam won’t hurt me .

I now wrapped my arms around myself as

I walked through the pack grounds , just fresh air .

wanting to think things through in the I had wanted to return to training but Damon had said it was better I didn’t , I knew why : Everyone was talking .

I’m going to have to face it sooner or later .

I didn’t want to be cocooned up .

Sighing , I tugged at the sleeve of my ribbed black shirt , which had three buttons at the top which I had left open .

I was wearing some ripped jeans with net tights under , paired with some black heeled boots .

I looked at the small plushie in my hand .

Sparks … I wanted to go back to the graveyard but I hadn’t been able to … Right now , I just need someone to talk to .

He was the only real family I had , I’m sure if he was here , he’d love me , right ? I heard snickering and looked up to see Owen smirking as he walked past me , smart enough not to push me .

Guess he learned his lesson last time .

I ignored him and headed to the graveyard .

It was a dull day today … I pushed open the small gate and made my way over to Renji’s grave .

I sat down on my knees before it and looked down at it .

Like always , it was well kept .

” Hello Renji , I hope you’re ok … A lot’s happened since the last time I came here ….

I’m sorry it took me so long when I promised to meet you …

I wasn’t allowed to come … I’m sorry

wonder if Mom is with you now or not ? ” I asked

He’s s o happy to be

smiled gently as a soft wind blew through

I was going to

going to

He marked me forcefully … and I haven’t seen him since … ”

I don’t know what to feel

he did wasn’t right , but

about

, but I’m also … scared … ” ” 1 I covered

and I sobbed quietly

him and everyone gets

him ? But I haven’t mind linked him either … I … I’m scared … I just

” I whispered .

him so so much , I get that , but at the same

but wasn’t this the time to help him ? The fear of what might happen was still there , but I

their hand on my shoulder and I gasped ,

i n my thoughts that I hadn’t even noticed

you ok ? ” She asked with concern clear in her

wiping my

Yes ,

I said ,

You’re a strong woman , Raven

all going to be ok

She said , her eyes filled with

I hoped so .

I don’t know what to

Thank you .

I said softly

stood up and she

a silent farewell before

sense of my emotions , remembering a conversation I had with Uncle El a few days ago when he had visited me at Damon’s … ( FLASHBACK

? ” He asked , shoving his hands into the

was just the two of us , Damon was out , and although I wanted to return to the packhouse , it would mean I would

down at my knees

I feel ? ” Lost … Sometimes I feel like I got this , I can do this … How it’s ok ,

it’s alright to feel

said

you need to stop trying to accept things , think

I stayed quiet and

own everything ? I want her back , I want her

you , if it’s

need to

you want without any external factors weighing on your

of this