Caged Between the beta & alpha

A week had passed , and I finally decided t o brave stepping outside .

Everyone was being extra supportive , constantly keeping me company or mind linking me t o ask how I’m feeling or what I’m up to but really , I just needed everyone to act normal .

I didn’t want this pity .

Kiara was the only one who really understood that , when she texted , it was just pictures of the twins or Dante , or talking about general things .

I just wanted everything to return to normal , but could they ? My emotions were hot and cold , I went from happy to utterly defeated within moments of each other

.

Sometimes I’d remember flashes of the cottage and him telling me he would wait for me , and then I’d see him ripping through my neck .

I kept waking up at night , those bottomless pits of his eyes flashing in my mind , his canines out as he bit me ….

My last thoughts were always the same in my nightmares .

Liam won’t hurt me .

I now wrapped my arms around myself as

I walked through the pack grounds , just fresh air .

wanting to think things through in the I had wanted to return to training but Damon had said it was better I didn’t , I knew why : Everyone was talking .

I’m going to have to face it sooner or later .

I didn’t want to be cocooned up .

Sighing , I tugged at the sleeve of my ribbed black shirt , which had three buttons at the top which I had left open .

I was wearing some ripped jeans with net tights under , paired with some black heeled boots .

I looked at the small plushie in my hand .

Sparks … I wanted to go back to the graveyard but I hadn’t been able to … Right now , I just need someone to talk to .

He was the only real family I had , I’m sure if he was here , he’d love me , right ? I heard snickering and looked up to see Owen smirking as he walked past me , smart enough not to push me .

Guess he learned his lesson last time .

I ignored him and headed to the graveyard .

It was a dull day today … I pushed open the small gate and made my way over to Renji’s grave .

I sat down on my knees before it and looked down at it .

Like always , it was well kept .

” Hello Renji , I hope you’re ok … A lot’s happened since the last time I came here ….

I’m sorry it took me so long when I promised to meet you …

I wasn’t allowed to come … I’m

is with you now or not ? ” I asked softly , placing Sparks at the foot of

Sparks is back … He’s s o happy to be

as a soft wind blew through

going to reject

going to do it

… He marked me forcefully … and I haven’t seen him since … ” I whispered , feeling

know what

… I know what he did wasn’t right , but I

worried about him

in the cells , but I’m also … scared … ” ” 1 I

I sobbed quietly

I mention him and everyone gets

I haven’t mind linked him

” I whispered .

much , I get that , but at the same time

wasn’t this the time to help him ? The fear of what might happen was still there , but

I gasped ,

absorbed i n my thoughts that I hadn’t

you ok ? ” She asked with

wiping my tears

Yes , I

said

strong woman

to be ok

, her eyes filled with confidence

I hoped so .

now , I don’t know what to do ” I’m going to go

Thank you .

I said softly

and she nodded

silent farewell before I turned and left the graveyard

Uncle El a few days ago when he had visited me at

, emotionally ? ” He asked , shoving his hands into the pockets of his jeans as he stood in front of

and although I wanted to return to the packhouse , it

down at my knees

I feel ? ” Lost … Sometimes I feel like I got this ,

and it’s alright

He said quietly

stop trying to accept things , think

I stayed quiet and he

I want her back , I want her to

it’s meant to be

this but it doesn’t mean you need to be sacrificed or influenced to make decisions because of

you want without any external factors weighing on your

feeling guilty of this or that