Choosing Her Lover

Chapter 22

*****

And afterwards, as we lie together, naked in the half-light, he says, “I have something for you if you will accept it.”

He seems a little uncertain as he produces a small satin bag from a side-drawer, the kind that usually contains jewellery. I open it to find a narrow, black velvet choker, with a dewdrop pearl suspended.

“Will you accept it?” he asks, a trace of anxiety in his voice. “Will you wear it?”

Am I being collared?

I think I am….

I finger it, rolling the pearl in my fingers; so small and delicate a thing, and yet, so laden with significance.

“You understand what you are asking of me?” I say. “When you give me something like this? When you ask me to wear it?”

“Yes, I understand,” he says. “And yes, I am asking that you wear it for me. Will you do that?”

His voice brims with hope and worry; desire and unease. “Am I asking too much of you? Or too quickly?”

The pearl, opalescent with pale, swirling, beautiful colours, sits between my fingers.

Is this too soon?

No, I want this too….

“No, I don’t think you are. It’s just that no-one before has ever wanted me like this….”

“I want you like this. Isn’t that enough?”

Unravelling the velvet, I place it around my neck, fumbling with the catch at the back.

behind me to clip it closed. And as it fastens he

to my neck where he has

entwined, his arms around me, he lazily

I shouldn’t, but I have to ask you this…. Are you still seeing anyone else? I know when we met that you were. And because of the way that we met, I don’t really have the right to ask

to meet his eye. “No, I’m not. Not anymore. There was someone, but, he wasn’t right and…. I don’t even want to now. I used to go to the clubs a lot, but now I

“The clubs? What clubs?”

and my big

a lot for, er….” I chew my words, wondering how much I

someone you want to

Don’t fuck it up….

me.

used to go a lot before I

me. My stomach

God. Have I

used to go to sex clubs, but you don’t anymore?

yes… because of

me. “Thank you for telling me this. I

You were worrying?

sex is important enough for you and me to have met in the first place, but that

I love what you do to me, what we do together. You have me thinking of you

kiss is hard, penetrating and possessive; and it sets

You have friends there? You would like to go again, but

There’s something about the atmosphere, watching people being

“But….?”

realise that you

men you have had sex with? Yes, I realise that. What I also realise is that they will see you with me, and know that while they had you for an hour, with me, you have stayed. They couldn’t keep you, but

*****

lobby, with little to do right now except sit here and look alert, I gaze out

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