*****
And afterwards, as we lie together, naked in the half-light, he says, “I have something for you if you will accept it.”
He seems a little uncertain as he produces a small satin bag from a side-drawer, the kind that usually contains jewellery. I open it to find a narrow, black velvet choker, with a dewdrop pearl suspended.
“Will you accept it?” he asks, a trace of anxiety in his voice. “Will you wear it?”
Am I being collared?
I think I am….
I finger it, rolling the pearl in my fingers; so small and delicate a thing, and yet, so laden with significance.
“You understand what you are asking of me?” I say. “When you give me something like this? When you ask me to wear it?”
“Yes, I understand,” he says. “And yes, I am asking that you wear it for me. Will you do that?”
His voice brims with hope and worry; desire and unease. “Am I asking too much of you? Or too quickly?”
The pearl, opalescent with pale, swirling, beautiful colours, sits between my fingers.
Is this too soon?
No, I want this too….
“No, I don’t think you are. It’s just that no-one before has ever wanted me like this….”
“I want you like this. Isn’t that enough?”
Unravelling the velvet, I place it around my neck, fumbling with the catch at the back.
clip it closed. And as it fastens he kisses the soft skin at the
cheek, the line of my jaw and down to my
entwined, his arms around me, he lazily stroking me. After a
we met that you were. And because of the way that
anymore. There was someone, but, he wasn’t right and…. I don’t even want to now. I used to go to the clubs a lot, but now I simply
“The clubs? What clubs?”
and my
used to go to clubs a lot for, er….”
someone you want to be
Don’t fuck it up….
to me. What are
I used to go a lot before
stares at me. My
Have
to sex clubs, but you don’t anymore?
because
me. “Thank you for telling me
You were worrying?
to have met in the first place, but that perhaps I could not…. be enough….
heart skips a beat. “Ryan, you are ‘enough for me’. I love what you do to
hard, penetrating
clubs, you went often? You have friends there?
love to do that, but only if you’re comfortable with it. There’s something about the atmosphere, watching people being good
“But….?”
realise that
they will see you with me, and know that while they had you for an hour, with me, you have stayed. They
*****
to do right now except sit
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