*****

And afterwards, as we lie together, naked in the half-light, he says, “I have something for you if you will accept it.”

He seems a little uncertain as he produces a small satin bag from a side-drawer, the kind that usually contains jewellery. I open it to find a narrow, black velvet choker, with a dewdrop pearl suspended.

“Will you accept it?” he asks, a trace of anxiety in his voice. “Will you wear it?”

Am I being collared?

I think I am….

I finger it, rolling the pearl in my fingers; so small and delicate a thing, and yet, so laden with significance.

“You understand what you are asking of me?” I say. “When you give me something like this? When you ask me to wear it?”

“Yes, I understand,” he says. “And yes, I am asking that you wear it for me. Will you do that?”

His voice brims with hope and worry; desire and unease. “Am I asking too much of you? Or too quickly?”

The pearl, opalescent with pale, swirling, beautiful colours, sits between my fingers.

Is this too soon?

No, I want this too….

“No, I don’t think you are. It’s just that no-one before has ever wanted me like this….”

“I want you like this. Isn’t that enough?”

Unravelling the velvet, I place it around my neck, fumbling with the catch at the back.

it

and down to my neck where he has just placed

around me, he lazily stroking me. After a long while,

we met that you were. And because

and…. I don’t even want to now. I used to go to the clubs a lot, but

“The clubs? What clubs?”

my big

to clubs a lot for, er….” I chew my words, wondering

found someone you want to be

Don’t fuck it up….

Talk to me.

sex clubs. I used to go a lot before I

at me.

Have I

“You used to go to sex clubs,

yes… because

“Thank you for telling

You were worrying?

enough for you and me to have met in the first place, but that perhaps I could

skips a beat. “Ryan, you are ‘enough for me’. I love what you do to me, what we do together. You have

me. The kiss is hard, penetrating and possessive; and it

clubs, you went often? You have friends there? You would like to go

that, but only if you’re comfortable with it. There’s something about the atmosphere, watching

“But….?”

but, you realise that

with? Yes, I realise that. What I also realise is that they will see you with me, and know

*****

right now except sit here and

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