*****
And afterwards, as we lie together, naked in the half-light, he says, “I have something for you if you will accept it.”
He seems a little uncertain as he produces a small satin bag from a side-drawer, the kind that usually contains jewellery. I open it to find a narrow, black velvet choker, with a dewdrop pearl suspended.
“Will you accept it?” he asks, a trace of anxiety in his voice. “Will you wear it?”
Am I being collared?
I think I am….
I finger it, rolling the pearl in my fingers; so small and delicate a thing, and yet, so laden with significance.
“You understand what you are asking of me?” I say. “When you give me something like this? When you ask me to wear it?”
“Yes, I understand,” he says. “And yes, I am asking that you wear it for me. Will you do that?”
His voice brims with hope and worry; desire and unease. “Am I asking too much of you? Or too quickly?”
The pearl, opalescent with pale, swirling, beautiful colours, sits between my fingers.
Is this too soon?
No, I want this too….
“No, I don’t think you are. It’s just that no-one before has ever wanted me like this….”
“I want you like this. Isn’t that enough?”
Unravelling the velvet, I place it around my neck, fumbling with the catch at the back.
And as it fastens he kisses the soft skin
to my neck where he has
lie together, entwined, his arms around me, he lazily stroking me. After a long while,
Are you still seeing anyone else? I know when we met that you
right and…. I don’t even want to now. I used to go to the clubs a
“The clubs? What clubs?”
my big
I used to go to clubs a lot for,
finally found someone you want to
Don’t fuck it up….
me. What are
to
stares at me. My stomach
God. Have I spoiled
he smiles. “You used to go to sex clubs, but you don’t anymore?
yes… because
you for telling me this.
You were worrying?
met in the first place, but that perhaps
you are ‘enough for me’. I love what you do to me, what we
pulls me to him again and kisses me. The kiss is hard, penetrating and possessive; and it sets my heart pounding again. Then
have friends there? You would like to
do that, but only if you’re comfortable with it. There’s something about
“But….?”
that you would
you have had sex with? Yes, I realise that. What I also realise is that they will see you with me, and know that while they had you for an hour, with me, you
*****
the lobby, with little to do right now except sit here and look alert, I gaze out
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