Choosing Her Lover

Chapter 22

*****

And afterwards, as we lie together, naked in the half-light, he says, “I have something for you if you will accept it.”

He seems a little uncertain as he produces a small satin bag from a side-drawer, the kind that usually contains jewellery. I open it to find a narrow, black velvet choker, with a dewdrop pearl suspended.

“Will you accept it?” he asks, a trace of anxiety in his voice. “Will you wear it?”

Am I being collared?

I think I am….

I finger it, rolling the pearl in my fingers; so small and delicate a thing, and yet, so laden with significance.

“You understand what you are asking of me?” I say. “When you give me something like this? When you ask me to wear it?”

“Yes, I understand,” he says. “And yes, I am asking that you wear it for me. Will you do that?”

His voice brims with hope and worry; desire and unease. “Am I asking too much of you? Or too quickly?”

The pearl, opalescent with pale, swirling, beautiful colours, sits between my fingers.

Is this too soon?

No, I want this too….

“No, I don’t think you are. It’s just that no-one before has ever wanted me like this….”

“I want you like this. Isn’t that enough?”

Unravelling the velvet, I place it around my neck, fumbling with the catch at the back.

closed. And as it fastens

down to my neck where he

me, he lazily stroking me. After a long while, he

seeing anyone else? I know when we met

his embrace to meet his eye. “No, I’m not. Not anymore. There was someone, but, he wasn’t right and…. I don’t even want to now. I used to go to the clubs a lot, but now

“The clubs? What clubs?”

my

go to clubs a lot for, er….” I

someone you want to be

Don’t fuck it up….

me. What

er, sex clubs. I used to

me. My stomach

God. Have I

used to go to sex clubs,

because of

“Thank you for telling

You were worrying?

for you and me to have met in the first place, but

are ‘enough for me’. I love what you do to me, what we do together. You have me thinking of you all

pulls me to him again and kisses me. The kiss is hard, penetrating and

there? You would like to

but only if you’re comfortable with it. There’s something

“But….?”

you realise that

men you have had sex with? Yes, I realise that. What I also realise is that they will see you

*****

seat at in the lobby, with little to do right now except sit

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