*****
And afterwards, as we lie together, naked in the half-light, he says, “I have something for you if you will accept it.”
He seems a little uncertain as he produces a small satin bag from a side-drawer, the kind that usually contains jewellery. I open it to find a narrow, black velvet choker, with a dewdrop pearl suspended.
“Will you accept it?” he asks, a trace of anxiety in his voice. “Will you wear it?”
Am I being collared?
I think I am….
I finger it, rolling the pearl in my fingers; so small and delicate a thing, and yet, so laden with significance.
“You understand what you are asking of me?” I say. “When you give me something like this? When you ask me to wear it?”
“Yes, I understand,” he says. “And yes, I am asking that you wear it for me. Will you do that?”
His voice brims with hope and worry; desire and unease. “Am I asking too much of you? Or too quickly?”
The pearl, opalescent with pale, swirling, beautiful colours, sits between my fingers.
Is this too soon?
No, I want this too….
“No, I don’t think you are. It’s just that no-one before has ever wanted me like this….”
“I want you like this. Isn’t that enough?”
Unravelling the velvet, I place it around my neck, fumbling with the catch at the back.
And as it fastens he kisses the soft skin at the nape of
and down to my neck where he has just placed his
arms around me, he lazily stroking me. After a long while, he speaks
I know when we met that you were. And because of the way that we met, I don’t
he wasn’t right and…. I don’t even want
“The clubs? What clubs?”
my
lot for, er….” I
found someone you
Don’t fuck it up….
to me. What are these
sex clubs. I used to go a lot before I met
stares at me. My stomach
God. Have I spoiled
used to go to sex clubs, but you don’t anymore? Because
yes… because of
you for telling me this. I have
You were worrying?
important enough for you and me to have met in the first place, but that perhaps I could
me’. I love what you do to me, what we do together.
me. The kiss is hard, penetrating and possessive; and it sets my heart pounding again.
clubs, you went often? You have friends there? You would like to go
you’re comfortable with it. There’s something about the
“But….?”
that you
would be meeting men you have had sex with? Yes, I realise that. What I also realise is that they will see you with me, and know that while
*****
lobby, with little to do right now except sit here and look alert, I gaze out of the
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