*****
And afterwards, as we lie together, naked in the half-light, he says, “I have something for you if you will accept it.”
He seems a little uncertain as he produces a small satin bag from a side-drawer, the kind that usually contains jewellery. I open it to find a narrow, black velvet choker, with a dewdrop pearl suspended.
“Will you accept it?” he asks, a trace of anxiety in his voice. “Will you wear it?”
Am I being collared?
I think I am….
I finger it, rolling the pearl in my fingers; so small and delicate a thing, and yet, so laden with significance.
“You understand what you are asking of me?” I say. “When you give me something like this? When you ask me to wear it?”
“Yes, I understand,” he says. “And yes, I am asking that you wear it for me. Will you do that?”
His voice brims with hope and worry; desire and unease. “Am I asking too much of you? Or too quickly?”
The pearl, opalescent with pale, swirling, beautiful colours, sits between my fingers.
Is this too soon?
No, I want this too….
“No, I don’t think you are. It’s just that no-one before has ever wanted me like this….”
“I want you like this. Isn’t that enough?”
Unravelling the velvet, I place it around my neck, fumbling with the catch at the back.
closed. And as it fastens he kisses the soft
cheek, the line of my jaw and down to my neck where he has just placed his
together, entwined, his arms around me, he lazily stroking me. After a
Are you still seeing anyone else? I know when we met that you
he wasn’t right and…. I don’t even want
“The clubs? What clubs?”
my big
a lot for, er….” I chew my words,
you
Don’t fuck it up….
me.
to go a
me. My
Have I spoiled
go to sex clubs, but you don’t
yes… because of
telling me this. I
You were worrying?
that sex is important enough for you and me to have met in the first place, but that perhaps
“Ryan, you are ‘enough for me’. I love what you do to me, what we do together.
penetrating and possessive; and it sets my
went often? You have friends there?
if you’re comfortable with it. There’s something about the atmosphere, watching
“But….?”
realise that
Yes, I realise that. What I also realise is that they will see you with me, and
*****
to do right now except sit here and look alert, I
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