Choosing Her Lover

Chapter 22

*****

And afterwards, as we lie together, naked in the half-light, he says, “I have something for you if you will accept it.”

He seems a little uncertain as he produces a small satin bag from a side-drawer, the kind that usually contains jewellery. I open it to find a narrow, black velvet choker, with a dewdrop pearl suspended.

“Will you accept it?” he asks, a trace of anxiety in his voice. “Will you wear it?”

Am I being collared?

I think I am….

I finger it, rolling the pearl in my fingers; so small and delicate a thing, and yet, so laden with significance.

“You understand what you are asking of me?” I say. “When you give me something like this? When you ask me to wear it?”

“Yes, I understand,” he says. “And yes, I am asking that you wear it for me. Will you do that?”

His voice brims with hope and worry; desire and unease. “Am I asking too much of you? Or too quickly?”

The pearl, opalescent with pale, swirling, beautiful colours, sits between my fingers.

Is this too soon?

No, I want this too….

“No, I don’t think you are. It’s just that no-one before has ever wanted me like this….”

“I want you like this. Isn’t that enough?”

Unravelling the velvet, I place it around my neck, fumbling with the catch at the back.

behind me to clip it closed. And as it fastens

strokes my cheek, the line of my jaw and down to my neck where

he lazily stroking

when we met that you were. And because of the way that we met, I don’t really have

There was someone, but, he wasn’t right and…. I don’t even want to now. I used to

“The clubs? What clubs?”

my big

for, er….” I chew my words, wondering how much

finally found someone you want to be

Don’t fuck it up….

me. What are

used to go a lot before

at me. My stomach

God. Have I spoiled

he smiles. “You used to go to sex clubs, but you don’t anymore? Because of

because

you for telling me this. I

You were worrying?

have met in the first place, but that perhaps I could not…. be

you are ‘enough for me’. I love what you do to me, what we do together. You have me

is hard, penetrating and possessive; and it sets my heart pounding again. Then he pulls

You have friends there? You would like to go again, but with

only if you’re comfortable with it. There’s something about the

“But….?”

that you would be

had sex with? Yes, I realise that. What I also realise is that they will see you with me, and know that while they had you for an hour, with me, you have stayed. They

*****

now except sit here and look alert, I

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