Choosing Her Lover

Chapter 22

*****

And afterwards, as we lie together, naked in the half-light, he says, “I have something for you if you will accept it.”

He seems a little uncertain as he produces a small satin bag from a side-drawer, the kind that usually contains jewellery. I open it to find a narrow, black velvet choker, with a dewdrop pearl suspended.

“Will you accept it?” he asks, a trace of anxiety in his voice. “Will you wear it?”

Am I being collared?

I think I am….

I finger it, rolling the pearl in my fingers; so small and delicate a thing, and yet, so laden with significance.

“You understand what you are asking of me?” I say. “When you give me something like this? When you ask me to wear it?”

“Yes, I understand,” he says. “And yes, I am asking that you wear it for me. Will you do that?”

His voice brims with hope and worry; desire and unease. “Am I asking too much of you? Or too quickly?”

The pearl, opalescent with pale, swirling, beautiful colours, sits between my fingers.

Is this too soon?

No, I want this too….

“No, I don’t think you are. It’s just that no-one before has ever wanted me like this….”

“I want you like this. Isn’t that enough?”

Unravelling the velvet, I place it around my neck, fumbling with the catch at the back.

it closed. And as it

cheek, the line of my jaw and down to my neck where he has just placed his mark

lie together, entwined, his arms around me, he lazily stroking me. After a long

to ask you this…. Are you still seeing anyone else? I know when we

he wasn’t right and…. I

“The clubs? What clubs?”

and my big

to go to clubs a lot for, er….” I chew my words, wondering how much I

you want to be

Don’t fuck it up….

Talk to me. What are these

clubs. I used to go

stares at me.

Have I spoiled

sex clubs, but you don’t anymore? Because

because of

for telling me this. I have been

You were worrying?

is important enough for you and me to have met in the first place, but that perhaps

what you do to me,

penetrating and possessive; and it sets

clubs, you went often? You have friends there? You would like to

that, but only if you’re comfortable with it. There’s something about the atmosphere, watching people being good together…. But….” and

“But….?”

you realise that you would be

What I also realise is that they will see you with me, and know that while they had you for an hour, with me, you have stayed. They couldn’t keep you, but

*****

lobby, with little to do right now except

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