Choosing Her Lover

Chapter 22

*****

And afterwards, as we lie together, naked in the half-light, he says, “I have something for you if you will accept it.”

He seems a little uncertain as he produces a small satin bag from a side-drawer, the kind that usually contains jewellery. I open it to find a narrow, black velvet choker, with a dewdrop pearl suspended.

“Will you accept it?” he asks, a trace of anxiety in his voice. “Will you wear it?”

Am I being collared?

I think I am….

I finger it, rolling the pearl in my fingers; so small and delicate a thing, and yet, so laden with significance.

“You understand what you are asking of me?” I say. “When you give me something like this? When you ask me to wear it?”

“Yes, I understand,” he says. “And yes, I am asking that you wear it for me. Will you do that?”

His voice brims with hope and worry; desire and unease. “Am I asking too much of you? Or too quickly?”

The pearl, opalescent with pale, swirling, beautiful colours, sits between my fingers.

Is this too soon?

No, I want this too….

“No, I don’t think you are. It’s just that no-one before has ever wanted me like this….”

“I want you like this. Isn’t that enough?”

Unravelling the velvet, I place it around my neck, fumbling with the catch at the back.

me,” he whispers, reaching behind me to clip it closed. And as it fastens he kisses the soft skin at the

my jaw and down to my neck where he has

he lazily stroking me.

I have to ask you this…. Are you still seeing anyone else? I know when we met that you were. And because of the way that we met, I don’t really have the right to ask you

in his embrace to meet his eye. “No, I’m not. Not anymore. There was someone, but, he wasn’t right and…. I don’t even want to now. I used to

“The clubs? What clubs?”

and my big

er…. I used to go to clubs a lot for, er….” I chew

found someone you want

Don’t fuck it up….

me. What are

to go a lot before I

stares at me. My

God. Have I

sex clubs, but you don’t

yes… because of

me. “Thank you for telling me this.

You were worrying?

important enough for you and me to have met in the first place, but that perhaps I could not…. be enough…. for

heart skips a beat. “Ryan, you are ‘enough for me’. I love what you do to me, what we do together. You have me thinking of

is hard, penetrating and possessive; and it sets my heart

you went often? You have friends there? You

to do that, but only if you’re comfortable with it. There’s something about the atmosphere, watching people being good

“But….?”

but, you realise that you would be

Yes, I realise that. What I also realise is that they will see you with me, and know that while they had you for an hour, with me, you have stayed. They couldn’t keep you,

*****

to do right now except sit here and look alert, I gaze out of

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