*****
And afterwards, as we lie together, naked in the half-light, he says, “I have something for you if you will accept it.”
He seems a little uncertain as he produces a small satin bag from a side-drawer, the kind that usually contains jewellery. I open it to find a narrow, black velvet choker, with a dewdrop pearl suspended.
“Will you accept it?” he asks, a trace of anxiety in his voice. “Will you wear it?”
Am I being collared?
I think I am….
I finger it, rolling the pearl in my fingers; so small and delicate a thing, and yet, so laden with significance.
“You understand what you are asking of me?” I say. “When you give me something like this? When you ask me to wear it?”
“Yes, I understand,” he says. “And yes, I am asking that you wear it for me. Will you do that?”
His voice brims with hope and worry; desire and unease. “Am I asking too much of you? Or too quickly?”
The pearl, opalescent with pale, swirling, beautiful colours, sits between my fingers.
Is this too soon?
No, I want this too….
“No, I don’t think you are. It’s just that no-one before has ever wanted me like this….”
“I want you like this. Isn’t that enough?”
Unravelling the velvet, I place it around my neck, fumbling with the catch at the back.
to clip it closed. And as it fastens he kisses the soft skin
my
he lazily stroking me. After a long while,
this…. Are you still seeing anyone else? I know when we met that you were. And because of the way that we met, I
but, he wasn’t right and…. I don’t even want to now. I used to go to the clubs a lot, but now I simply want
“The clubs? What clubs?”
and my
to clubs a lot for, er….” I chew my words, wondering how much I can
you want
Don’t fuck it up….
Talk to me. What are these
sex clubs. I used to go a lot before
stares at me. My
God. Have I
go to sex clubs, but
yes… because
you for telling me this.
You were worrying?
sex is important enough for you and me to have met in the first place, but that perhaps I could
love what you do to me, what we do together. You
kisses me. The kiss is hard, penetrating and possessive; and it sets
there? You would like to go again, but
but only if you’re comfortable with it. There’s something about the atmosphere, watching people being good together…. But….” and my
“But….?”
realise that
that. What I also realise is that they will see you with me, and
*****
my seat at in the lobby, with little to do right now except sit here and look alert, I gaze out of the
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