Choosing Her Lover

Chapter 22

*****

And afterwards, as we lie together, naked in the half-light, he says, “I have something for you if you will accept it.”

He seems a little uncertain as he produces a small satin bag from a side-drawer, the kind that usually contains jewellery. I open it to find a narrow, black velvet choker, with a dewdrop pearl suspended.

“Will you accept it?” he asks, a trace of anxiety in his voice. “Will you wear it?”

Am I being collared?

I think I am….

I finger it, rolling the pearl in my fingers; so small and delicate a thing, and yet, so laden with significance.

“You understand what you are asking of me?” I say. “When you give me something like this? When you ask me to wear it?”

“Yes, I understand,” he says. “And yes, I am asking that you wear it for me. Will you do that?”

His voice brims with hope and worry; desire and unease. “Am I asking too much of you? Or too quickly?”

The pearl, opalescent with pale, swirling, beautiful colours, sits between my fingers.

Is this too soon?

No, I want this too….

“No, I don’t think you are. It’s just that no-one before has ever wanted me like this….”

“I want you like this. Isn’t that enough?”

Unravelling the velvet, I place it around my neck, fumbling with the catch at the back.

he whispers, reaching behind me to clip it closed. And as it fastens he kisses the soft skin at

my neck where he has just placed

me, he lazily stroking me. After a long while,

know when we met that you were. And because of the way that

his embrace to meet his eye. “No, I’m not. Not anymore. There was someone, but, he wasn’t right and…. I don’t even want to now. I used to go to

“The clubs? What clubs?”

my

for, er….” I chew my words, wondering how much I can

you want to

Don’t fuck it up….

to me. What are these

to go a lot before I met

stares at me.

God. Have I spoiled

sex clubs,

yes… because of

you for telling

You were worrying?

and me to have met in the first place,

skips a beat. “Ryan, you are ‘enough for me’. I love what you do to me,

me to him again and kisses me. The kiss is hard, penetrating and possessive;

clubs, you went often? You have friends there? You would like to go again, but

you’re comfortable with it. There’s something

“But….?”

that you would

is that they will see you with me,

*****

to do right now except sit here and look alert, I gaze

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