Choosing Her Lover

Chapter 22

*****

And afterwards, as we lie together, naked in the half-light, he says, “I have something for you if you will accept it.”

He seems a little uncertain as he produces a small satin bag from a side-drawer, the kind that usually contains jewellery. I open it to find a narrow, black velvet choker, with a dewdrop pearl suspended.

“Will you accept it?” he asks, a trace of anxiety in his voice. “Will you wear it?”

Am I being collared?

I think I am….

I finger it, rolling the pearl in my fingers; so small and delicate a thing, and yet, so laden with significance.

“You understand what you are asking of me?” I say. “When you give me something like this? When you ask me to wear it?”

“Yes, I understand,” he says. “And yes, I am asking that you wear it for me. Will you do that?”

His voice brims with hope and worry; desire and unease. “Am I asking too much of you? Or too quickly?”

The pearl, opalescent with pale, swirling, beautiful colours, sits between my fingers.

Is this too soon?

No, I want this too….

“No, I don’t think you are. It’s just that no-one before has ever wanted me like this….”

“I want you like this. Isn’t that enough?”

Unravelling the velvet, I place it around my neck, fumbling with the catch at the back.

it fastens he kisses the

line of my jaw and down to my neck where he has just placed his mark on

lie together, entwined, his arms around me, he lazily stroking me.

still seeing anyone else? I know when we met that you were. And because of the way that we met, I don’t really

twist in his embrace to meet his eye. “No, I’m not. Not anymore. There was someone, but, he wasn’t right and…. I don’t even want to now. I used to go to the clubs a lot, but now

“The clubs? What clubs?”

and my big

I used to go to clubs a lot for,

someone you

Don’t fuck it up….

to me. What are

used to go a lot before I met

me. My stomach

Have I spoiled

go to sex clubs, but you don’t

because

for telling me this.

You were worrying?

and me to have met in the first place, but that perhaps I could

beat. “Ryan, you are ‘enough for me’. I love what you do to me, what we do

penetrating and possessive; and it

there? You would like to

but only if you’re comfortable with it. There’s something about the atmosphere, watching people being good together…. But….” and my

“But….?”

that

sentence. “…. I would be meeting men you have had sex with? Yes, I realise that. What I also realise is that they will see you with me, and know that while they had you for an hour, with me, you have stayed.

*****

except sit here and look alert, I gaze

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