Choosing Her Lover

Chapter 22

*****

And afterwards, as we lie together, naked in the half-light, he says, “I have something for you if you will accept it.”

He seems a little uncertain as he produces a small satin bag from a side-drawer, the kind that usually contains jewellery. I open it to find a narrow, black velvet choker, with a dewdrop pearl suspended.

“Will you accept it?” he asks, a trace of anxiety in his voice. “Will you wear it?”

Am I being collared?

I think I am….

I finger it, rolling the pearl in my fingers; so small and delicate a thing, and yet, so laden with significance.

“You understand what you are asking of me?” I say. “When you give me something like this? When you ask me to wear it?”

“Yes, I understand,” he says. “And yes, I am asking that you wear it for me. Will you do that?”

His voice brims with hope and worry; desire and unease. “Am I asking too much of you? Or too quickly?”

The pearl, opalescent with pale, swirling, beautiful colours, sits between my fingers.

Is this too soon?

No, I want this too….

“No, I don’t think you are. It’s just that no-one before has ever wanted me like this….”

“I want you like this. Isn’t that enough?”

Unravelling the velvet, I place it around my neck, fumbling with the catch at the back.

it closed. And as it fastens he kisses the soft skin at the nape of my neck.

the line of my jaw and down to my neck where

his arms around me, he lazily stroking

Are you still seeing anyone else? I know when we met that you were. And because of

anymore. There was someone, but, he wasn’t right and…. I don’t even want to now. I used to go to the clubs a lot, but now I simply

“The clubs? What clubs?”

my

a lot for, er….” I chew my

you want to be

Don’t fuck it up….

to me. What are these

sex clubs. I used to go a lot before

at me. My

God. Have I

“You used to go to sex clubs,

because of

kisses me. “Thank you for telling me this. I

You were worrying?

sex is important enough for you and me to have met in the first place, but that perhaps I could not…. be enough…. for

I love what you do to

is hard, penetrating and possessive; and it sets my heart

You have friends there? You

would love to do that, but only if you’re comfortable with it. There’s something about the atmosphere, watching people being good

“But….?”

you realise that

Yes, I realise that. What I also realise is that they will see you with me, and know that while they had you for an hour, with me, you have

*****

lobby, with little to do right now except sit here and look alert, I gaze out of the panoramic

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