*****
And afterwards, as we lie together, naked in the half-light, he says, “I have something for you if you will accept it.”
He seems a little uncertain as he produces a small satin bag from a side-drawer, the kind that usually contains jewellery. I open it to find a narrow, black velvet choker, with a dewdrop pearl suspended.
“Will you accept it?” he asks, a trace of anxiety in his voice. “Will you wear it?”
Am I being collared?
I think I am….
I finger it, rolling the pearl in my fingers; so small and delicate a thing, and yet, so laden with significance.
“You understand what you are asking of me?” I say. “When you give me something like this? When you ask me to wear it?”
“Yes, I understand,” he says. “And yes, I am asking that you wear it for me. Will you do that?”
His voice brims with hope and worry; desire and unease. “Am I asking too much of you? Or too quickly?”
The pearl, opalescent with pale, swirling, beautiful colours, sits between my fingers.
Is this too soon?
No, I want this too….
“No, I don’t think you are. It’s just that no-one before has ever wanted me like this….”
“I want you like this. Isn’t that enough?”
Unravelling the velvet, I place it around my neck, fumbling with the catch at the back.
as it fastens he kisses the soft skin at the nape of my neck.
my neck where he has just
he lazily stroking
anyone else? I know when we met that you were. And because of the way
and…. I don’t even
“The clubs? What clubs?”
my big
go to clubs a lot for, er….” I chew my words, wondering
finally found someone you want
Don’t fuck it up….
Talk to me. What
clubs. I used to go a lot before I met
stares at me.
God. Have I spoiled
to go to sex clubs, but you don’t
because of
“Thank you for telling me this. I
You were worrying?
and me to have met in the first place, but that
you are ‘enough for me’. I love what you do to me, what we do together. You have me thinking of you all
and kisses me. The kiss is hard, penetrating and possessive; and it sets my
you went often? You have friends there?
with it. There’s something about the atmosphere, watching people being
“But….?”
you realise that you would be
sentence. “…. I would be meeting men you have had sex with? Yes, I realise that. What I also realise is that they will see you with me, and know that while they had you for an hour, with me, you have stayed. They couldn’t keep you,
*****
the lobby, with little to do right now except
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