Choosing Her Lover

Chapter 22

*****

And afterwards, as we lie together, naked in the half-light, he says, “I have something for you if you will accept it.”

He seems a little uncertain as he produces a small satin bag from a side-drawer, the kind that usually contains jewellery. I open it to find a narrow, black velvet choker, with a dewdrop pearl suspended.

“Will you accept it?” he asks, a trace of anxiety in his voice. “Will you wear it?”

Am I being collared?

I think I am….

I finger it, rolling the pearl in my fingers; so small and delicate a thing, and yet, so laden with significance.

“You understand what you are asking of me?” I say. “When you give me something like this? When you ask me to wear it?”

“Yes, I understand,” he says. “And yes, I am asking that you wear it for me. Will you do that?”

His voice brims with hope and worry; desire and unease. “Am I asking too much of you? Or too quickly?”

The pearl, opalescent with pale, swirling, beautiful colours, sits between my fingers.

Is this too soon?

No, I want this too….

“No, I don’t think you are. It’s just that no-one before has ever wanted me like this….”

“I want you like this. Isn’t that enough?”

Unravelling the velvet, I place it around my neck, fumbling with the catch at the back.

reaching behind me to clip it closed. And as it fastens he kisses the soft skin at the nape of my neck. “Thank

to my neck where he has just

around me, he lazily stroking me. After a long while, he

I’m sorry, I know I shouldn’t, but I have to ask you this…. Are you still seeing anyone else? I know when we met that you were. And because of the way that we met, I

not. Not anymore. There was someone, but, he wasn’t right and…. I don’t even want to now.

“The clubs? What clubs?”

my big

for, er….” I chew my words, wondering

found someone you want to

Don’t fuck it up….

to me. What are

er, sex clubs. I used to go a lot

stares at me.

Have I

he smiles. “You used to go to sex clubs, but you don’t

yes… because of

telling me

You were worrying?

and me to have met in the first place, but

me’. I love what you do to me, what

hard, penetrating and possessive; and it sets my heart pounding again. Then he

often? You have friends there? You would like to go again, but

only if you’re comfortable with it. There’s something about

“But….?”

that you would be

finishes my sentence. “…. I would be meeting men you have had sex with? Yes, I realise that. What I also realise is that they will see you with me, and know that while they had you for an hour,

*****

at in the lobby, with little to do right now except sit here and look alert, I gaze out of the

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