*****
And afterwards, as we lie together, naked in the half-light, he says, “I have something for you if you will accept it.”
He seems a little uncertain as he produces a small satin bag from a side-drawer, the kind that usually contains jewellery. I open it to find a narrow, black velvet choker, with a dewdrop pearl suspended.
“Will you accept it?” he asks, a trace of anxiety in his voice. “Will you wear it?”
Am I being collared?
I think I am….
I finger it, rolling the pearl in my fingers; so small and delicate a thing, and yet, so laden with significance.
“You understand what you are asking of me?” I say. “When you give me something like this? When you ask me to wear it?”
“Yes, I understand,” he says. “And yes, I am asking that you wear it for me. Will you do that?”
His voice brims with hope and worry; desire and unease. “Am I asking too much of you? Or too quickly?”
The pearl, opalescent with pale, swirling, beautiful colours, sits between my fingers.
Is this too soon?
No, I want this too….
“No, I don’t think you are. It’s just that no-one before has ever wanted me like this….”
“I want you like this. Isn’t that enough?”
Unravelling the velvet, I place it around my neck, fumbling with the catch at the back.
me to clip it closed. And as it fastens he kisses the soft skin at the nape
strokes my cheek, the line of my jaw and down to my neck where he has
lie together, entwined, his arms around me, he lazily stroking me. After a long while, he speaks
but I have to ask you this…. Are you still seeing anyone else? I know when we met that you were. And because of the way
right and…. I don’t even want to now. I used
“The clubs? What clubs?”
and my
go to clubs a lot for, er….” I chew
finally found someone you want
Don’t fuck it up….
Talk to me. What are these
sex clubs. I used to go a lot before I
me. My stomach
Have I
go to sex clubs,
because
you for telling me this.
You were worrying?
that sex is important enough for you and me to have met in the first place, but that perhaps I could not…. be enough….
a beat. “Ryan, you are ‘enough for me’. I love what you do to me, what we do together. You have me
me. The kiss is hard, penetrating and possessive; and it sets my heart
you went often? You have friends there? You
There’s something about the
“But….?”
you realise that you
they will see you with me, and know that while they had you for an hour, with me, you have
*****
right now except
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