Cold Feet

Chapter 34

VIOLA

I’m mad. I’m angry. He always does this to me. My little voice says, if he makes you angry, why are you standing here so close to him?

Shut up, I tell my inner voice. I am close. Too close. But I don’t want to move away. This is my kitchen after all, my apartment. Well, note mine, but you know what I mean.

He’s gazing into my eyes and he’s close enough that I notice his eyes studying my face. They settle on my lips and I swallow. I lick my lips nervously before his eyes move down over my body.

I take my coffee and turn away. I move around the small island in the middle of the kitchen and head for the door. He watches me go and then picks up his coffee and follows me.

I lead the way to the living room and I’m pretty sure his eyes are on my ass. Why did I wear these shorts, I wonder?

I remain standing as I wait for him to sit down. He takes his seat on the sofa where he sat before. I should sit down on the single seater where I sat before but instead, I sit down on the opposite end of the three seater he is sitting on. I pull my legs up onto the sofa as I did before. I’m more comfortable that way.

His eyes follow my honey brown legs.

I know immediately I’ve made a mistake but I don’t want to fix it as much as I know I should. I don’t know why Rick is here. I don’t know why I let him in.

Deep down I know I’m lying to myself. I do know why I let him in. I do know why he is here, even if he doesn’t know it but I think on some level he does know.

“I’m sorry for everything,” Rick says at last. “I’m sorry for how our first night ended. I’m sorry I had to be the one to take legal action against you, I’m sorry I didn’t persist in contacting you, I’m sorry I…”

“Will you shut up,” I say.

He stops talking and looks at me.

“There’s no need to apologize. It’s all in the past. We can’t change it.”

so angry with me. Every time we meet. I upset you. I can understand the first time we met, but

voice launches screaming bout in my head, no, no, no! But it’s too late even as I realize it and

What is it

His eyes are fixed on me. He slides closer

coffee cup as if I’m wielding a small

with you but it’s nothing you do when you’re here. It’s what you’ve already done when you I

do you mean ‘what I’ve already done’?” I

surrender my caffeine shield to

night we met. You disappointed me with your views on relationships and marriages. You have no idea how nice it was kissing you in that garden. You drove

he learns that I’d liked

parents your card as if to rub in what you told me and they hire you to sue me. As if that wasn’t enough

notches as I tell him why I’m angry and I sound

it’s all me that did all of that. How is that you say you’re not angry with

brings us together it drives the disappointment deeper.

“This what?” he prompts.

to get off the couch but he grabs my

“Let me go!”

Tell me.

lets me go and I fall backward onto the carpet as he lets me go. He’s surprised and he rubs his face from

say as I get up and cross back to the sofa

waves me away. “It’s

with my legs under me. “I’m sorry,” I say again. “It’s just that every time I’ve seen you since I got back I’ve seen you more involved than I ever thought you would be. And I’m angry because I keep thinking what it would have been like if it had been me. It’s like life is being really spiteful and rubbing you in my face every time

turns and faces me. His eyes search mine. “Is that why you’re

man in forever and when I saw you I thought,

That stupid

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