Cold Feet

Chapter 34

VIOLA

I’m mad. I’m angry. He always does this to me. My little voice says, if he makes you angry, why are you standing here so close to him?

Shut up, I tell my inner voice. I am close. Too close. But I don’t want to move away. This is my kitchen after all, my apartment. Well, note mine, but you know what I mean.

He’s gazing into my eyes and he’s close enough that I notice his eyes studying my face. They settle on my lips and I swallow. I lick my lips nervously before his eyes move down over my body.

I take my coffee and turn away. I move around the small island in the middle of the kitchen and head for the door. He watches me go and then picks up his coffee and follows me.

I lead the way to the living room and I’m pretty sure his eyes are on my ass. Why did I wear these shorts, I wonder?

I remain standing as I wait for him to sit down. He takes his seat on the sofa where he sat before. I should sit down on the single seater where I sat before but instead, I sit down on the opposite end of the three seater he is sitting on. I pull my legs up onto the sofa as I did before. I’m more comfortable that way.

His eyes follow my honey brown legs.

I know immediately I’ve made a mistake but I don’t want to fix it as much as I know I should. I don’t know why Rick is here. I don’t know why I let him in.

Deep down I know I’m lying to myself. I do know why I let him in. I do know why he is here, even if he doesn’t know it but I think on some level he does know.

“I’m sorry for everything,” Rick says at last. “I’m sorry for how our first night ended. I’m sorry I had to be the one to take legal action against you, I’m sorry I didn’t persist in contacting you, I’m sorry I…”

“Will you shut up,” I say.

He stops talking and looks at me.

“There’s no need to apologize. It’s all in the past. We can’t change it.”

you seem so angry with me. Every time we meet. I upset you. I can understand the first time we met, but the

realize it and I know this time my inner voice was right. “The other

What is it then?” he

His eyes are fixed on me. He slides closer and I know I

wielding a small shield made of caffeine that’s going to keep him

upset with you but it’s nothing you do when you’re here. It’s what you’ve already done

done’?” I can see he is confused as

shield

me angry the night we met. You disappointed me with your views on relationships and marriages. You have no idea how nice it was kissing you in that garden. You drove me wild. I’d had my

he learns that I’d

rub in what you told me and they hire you to sue me. As if that wasn’t enough when I finally see you again, I have to find out you’re dating someone and then, you’re

has moved up a few notches as I tell

all of that. How is that you say you’re not angry with

it? I’m angry at life. Every time it brings us together it drives the disappointment

“This what?” he prompts.

move to get off the couch but he grabs my

“Let me go!”

go, Tell me. Talk to

and slap him. He lets me go and I fall backward onto the carpet as he

I’m so sorry,” I say as I get up and cross back to the sofa where he’s still sitting. “Forgive

me away. “It’s

I sit down close to him with my legs under me. “I’m sorry,” I say again. “It’s just that every time I’ve seen you since I got back I’ve seen you more involved than I ever thought you would be. And I’m angry because I keep thinking what it would have been like if it had been me. It’s like life is being really spiteful and rubbing you in my face every time we meet. I wonder what I did wrong that life is doing this. God I hardly know you but I can’t get you out of my

His eyes search mine. “Is that why

and when I saw you I

That stupid

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