Cold Feet

VIOLA

Lara is away from work for a long time. I run the business and keep her informed about the most important aspects only. I don’t trouble her with the day to day running of the business. She doesn’t need to know about it. James isn’t improving at all. He’s been moved home and Lara has had changes made to their room to accommodate the care that he needs. It’s just too expensive to keep him at the hospital even though her business is doing well.

Lara tells me multiple times that I’m a blessing for her and that she doesn’t know what she’d do without me. I tell her not to worry. I’m only too glad to be able to help her.

Rick and I communicate via text message and phone calls mostly. It seems we’ve both agreed it’s best to stay away from each other. When we speak it’s purely business. There’s no small talk at all. Neither of us will open the door to any more opportunities for weakness. As the wedding nears though, there is one last meeting that I have to have with Rick. It can’t be avoided.

I’ve started working from Lara’s office since I think it’s more practical. I can communicate faster with her team and her secretary.

Rick can only make it at seven in the evening. We planned to meet earlier but he has a last minute meeting with a client that delays him.

I order pizza delivery because I’m hungry. I don’t know if he’s eaten but I order extra for him just in case he’s hungry. The wedding is just over a week away and this is the final meeting to confirm everything.

I finish my pizza and go through my notes again. I want to keep the meeting as short as possible. I pour us each a cup of coffee. As I do so I don’t hear Rick enter the office. He approaches me from behind and speaks when he’s right behind me. I shriek in surprise and turn spilling the coffee all over his shirt and suit.

It takes me a moment to recover and then I lay my hands on his shirt. I can feel his strong chest under it. The shirt is hot and I realize the coffee must have been scolding.

“Oh God. I’m so sorry!” I exclaim. Lara’s office has a mini kitchen and I grab a cloth, wet it under the tap and then quickly start to wipe furiously at Rick’s shirt making it even more wet. The coffee stain lightens in color but the wet spot spreads as his shirt absorbs the water.

“I’m so sorry,” I exclaim again. By now his shirt is mostly soaked through and I can see the dark patches of his nipples. That and his muscles outlined against his soaked shirt are making me weak.

“It’s okay,” he says softly at last and covers my hand with his. It strikes me how small my hand is compared to his. I raise my eyes and meet his gaze. I’ve been avoiding it until now. And now it’s too late.

then kissing him. He doesn’t respond for a moment but then he reacts,

“You fucking skank!”

and I feel the blood drain from my face. It’s her. My worst enemy. Lara’s best friend. Christine. What is she doing here? The weddings supposed to be secret? My inner voice answers sarcastically,

think I must look like a ghost. That or I’m about to burst into flame with

rapidly and slaps me. Not once but twice, thrice…

up to

I’m finished with you, you’ll be back there and you’ll never make it back to this side. Even if you do, I’ll see to it

drop my hands and look at her and

“Get out!” Christine shouts.

you were doing? Fear rises in me and I feel sick. I know I’m done for. My career is finished. I have betrayed Lara’s trust and if she has to choose there’s no question about the choice she’s going to make. I want to vomit right there in the elevator. I wish I could back and fix what

a cab. I get in the back seat and look up Lara’s number. I

message and then decide a voice

wanted to help you from the bottom of my heart and I’ve done my best but I have failed you and I’m sorry. When you find out from Christine, you’ll fire me anyway. I’m sorry. Truly, truly sorry. I’ll pack my things and leave your apartment. I’m sure I can leave the phone and laptop in the apartment

message and send it. As I do a message pops up

but to terminate your employment. Please return your computer and phone to the office and

back

more or less. I look out the cab’s window and watch the city passing by. I feel as if I’m watching my dream dissolve and blow away on the wind. I had it all this time and I truly threw it away. I begin to cry silent tears. The cab ride seems to take

times that the universe kept pushing me back into

it’s because this industry isn’t for me. Maybe I don’t belong here and maybe it’s used Rick to throw me out again. I don’t know what I’ll do now. I can’t leave Los Angeles again. There is opportunity here. I’ll just have to find it. But that’s the

would I? I guess he’s getting his ass chewed out by the bitch right now. She’s probably pissed that I was handling the wedding arrangements. She might even cancel the wedding altogether just because I was involved although I did nothing really. It was all done before I got involved. Well there’s nothing I can do about it if