Cold Feet

RICK

When I get home I have a few more drinks as I sit in the dark of my living room pondering my discussion with Lewis.

I decide that he’s right. Much of what he said is true. I’ve never been in a long term relationship before. That’s my own doing, I know but people change and I don’t feel bad about wanting to change. Why should I. On the other hand, it makes sense that I want to stick with what I know which is the one night stand lifestyle. That would explain my longing for Viola. Maybe I’m only interested in her because she’s the one that got away. If we have sex, I might lose interest. Am I going to do that at the expense of a sure thing with Christine?

When I think of it in that context I make peace with my thoughts and I’m actually grateful that nothing more happened between Viola and I.

Feeling a sense of peace I head off to bed and drift off to bed with a small thought knocking on the door of mind. It’s small but it wants to be heard on the arena of thinking where my biggest decisions are made, like marrying Christine. I don’t want to open the door because I can hear it already and I don’t want to. It says, but you’ve never thought of Viola as a one-night stand…

VIOLA

Sometimes the universe just doesn’t stop knocking. When it’s got your number there’s no stopping it. It’s not as easy as shutting the door in Rick’s face. It will always find a way no matter the cost it seems.

It’s almost midnight when I’m woken by a call. It’s Lara. She is crying and I eventually manage to understand her. She’s at the hospital. Her husband has had a stroke and is in a coma.

I dress quickly and am with her in thirty minutes. I console her and she manages to calm down a bit. James, her husband is in the ICU and Lara is waiting for news from the doctors.

They’ve been together for a long time and I can understand how much he means to her. In the short time that I have worked with her I have come to know her much better along with her husband and their kids. They are a very happy family and I am envious, in a nice way. I hope to have what they have one day but now I feel for her and we pray together.

“Don’t worry about work, I’ll take care of everything,” I tell her.

“Will you?” she asks. “It would be such a help. I don’t think I could deal with it right now. Most importantly, you have to make sure that Rick and Christine’s wedding plans are finalized.”

I’m silent for a moment. I want to stare at the heavens at scream, Why me? There it is right there. I feel like I’ve been manipulated by the universe. I know it.

Lara gives me Rick’s number and I pretend I don’t have it. I promise her I’ll give Rick a call in the morning and explain everything to him. When I feel that Lara is calm enough I leave and ask her to call me for anything. I find it strange that Christine isn’t there considering what good friends they’re supposed to be.

Nevertheless, I’m careful as I leave the hospital. I don’t fancy running into Christine. Luckily for me I don’t.

I wake up the usual time even though I haven’t had nearly enough sleep. I have a headache and take an aspirin before getting ready for work.

call Rick sooner rather than later but I stare at his number on my cellphone screen for a long time before I call him. I even have to unlock

call his number I pray he won’t answer even though it will simply delay the inevitable. But

voice is reserved. He

morning,” I say as business like as

was expecting

call you, Rick,” I reply, then continue before he can say anything else. “I’m calling on behalf of Lara. Her husband’s in hospital and it’s not good. I promised her I’ll take care of business as long as she needs me to and she’s asked me to make sure that your wedding plans with Christine get finalized.” I surprise myself at how business like I am. “Perhaps we can meet for coffee or at the office so I can get up to speed on where you’re at. I’m sorry but I didn’t want to bother

meet for coffee. I think it’s just about done. I’ve got

so professionally. We agree on the

a file on the table in front of him and he’s looking out the

not

Please let it go. I didn’t come here to talk about what happened last time. I feel bad enough.

from. Then finally he nods. “You’re right. My friend told me to focus as well. He agrees

discussed me with your

to someone about what happened. He’s happily married and has been for a long time. I’m inclined to take his advice. So, let’s get on

what to say. I’m flattered. He sought advice from someone else about making a choice between Christine and I? I’m flattered and embarrassed that he’s spoken to someone about me. It also tells me has doubts about

says. Do this and get it over with. Even if he has doubts I’m not going to be the one to make them any worse. I listen to my inner voice and motion to the file.

step until I’m full up to speed. When we’re finished I

at least two months from now. That gives people

to but he’s looked at me far more than necessary. He’s looking at me now as if he’s thinking, coming

Four weeks from now. I

sure?”

are coming or they’re not. Our wedding isn’t for them it’s for… Christine and I.” He

guest list?” I

from Christine’s side because they’re such good friends. Otherwise, I

doesn’t have it, I’ll tell

“Thanks,” Rick nods.

lists, I’ll get them to the printers