Contraclockwise

What am I doing to do? Should I ignore her or not? They are not together for years besides Red is happy with Rackie so it should be okay however it is really okay? She’s my best buddy’s ex-girlfriend. I can’t say it to Air, I’m sure I’ll hear some sermon from him who seem to have a frustrated dream to be a priest. I can’t say it to Sapience, that guy will laugh at me and I can’t say it to Radiance because he’s the ex-boyfriend of Shine.

Haist! What did I get into? Why did I fell in love with my friend’s ex-girlfriend? Now, I’m problematic how will I date her, how will I go out with her without us being noticed. It’s not that I’m ashamed when I’m with her, it’s just that I’m confused what will I do.

“Love, what are you thinking?” Shine asks me which made me go back to the reality.

"Sorry, what were you saying again?” I asked.

“Won’t you be disappointed if you knew that—”

“No!” I irritably replied. It’s annoying to be asked the same question over and over again after what happened between us. “You explained already, I do understand. Besides, I’m not really into that and that’s not what I want from you.”

“But that’s what I want from you!”

I crooked my forehead and looked at her. “What do you want from me?”

“For you to love me wholly.” She said while crying.

I sigh. “I love you, Shine but I can’t always show it from the way you want me to show it.” Sometimes when we talk about like this, I want to shout at her and slapped on her face how much I love her and she doesn’t need to ask me over and over again.

“Why aren’t you asking me if Red and I did it?”

Why am I not asking her that question? “Because I know Red…” I replied even though I saw how Red was out of the mood the whole day when he and Rackie almost do it but was stop. I turn to her and hug her tight. “Stop crying, okay?”  I said as I coax her then wipe her tears. “Promise, I won’t leave you. I just can’t find the right timing to tell my friends about us but mom and dad approved you, so it’s okay.”

She pouted. “Your mom knew that I’m Red’s ex-girlfriend, how can you say that she approve our relationship?”

her hand. “If not, she can’t do anything about

can you say that?” she asks

to say to her. She slapped my arm. “Do you think they can do anything

if you can say

were young

they found out what happened

will understand. Not to mention that my mother is

be pitied.”

under that by the Lord.” I said, I just said what Rackie said

you knew Rackie, she

she

can say that all of you became a better person when she

can

though Red broke up with me before then became in a relationship with Rackie, Red and I became friends because of Rackie and I can sense that Rackie is a good person. Air stopped to be a womanizer, Sapie had the courage to say what he feels towards Levi then you, and

that you haven’t done it

that she was the one who did it because I can’t do what Rackie can and how can she maintain it that way even though she’s

why Red broke up with her was because Red fell in love with Rackie wherein no one knew just only us

my impression towards her is wrong.”                               

“Did you know that before Rackie became Red’s girlfriend, she had this background checking from

what time is it then doing

chuckled. “You want to know what are the questions

questions?” she

many girlfriends did Red have? What are the names of her ex-girlfriends? Are he friends with his exes? The reason of the break up.” I said. “If you’ll be