Contraclockwise

What am I doing to do? Should I ignore her or not? They are not together for years besides Red is happy with Rackie so it should be okay however it is really okay? She’s my best buddy’s ex-girlfriend. I can’t say it to Air, I’m sure I’ll hear some sermon from him who seem to have a frustrated dream to be a priest. I can’t say it to Sapience, that guy will laugh at me and I can’t say it to Radiance because he’s the ex-boyfriend of Shine.

Haist! What did I get into? Why did I fell in love with my friend’s ex-girlfriend? Now, I’m problematic how will I date her, how will I go out with her without us being noticed. It’s not that I’m ashamed when I’m with her, it’s just that I’m confused what will I do.

“Love, what are you thinking?” Shine asks me which made me go back to the reality.

"Sorry, what were you saying again?” I asked.

“Won’t you be disappointed if you knew that—”

“No!” I irritably replied. It’s annoying to be asked the same question over and over again after what happened between us. “You explained already, I do understand. Besides, I’m not really into that and that’s not what I want from you.”

“But that’s what I want from you!”

I crooked my forehead and looked at her. “What do you want from me?”

“For you to love me wholly.” She said while crying.

I sigh. “I love you, Shine but I can’t always show it from the way you want me to show it.” Sometimes when we talk about like this, I want to shout at her and slapped on her face how much I love her and she doesn’t need to ask me over and over again.

“Why aren’t you asking me if Red and I did it?”

Why am I not asking her that question? “Because I know Red…” I replied even though I saw how Red was out of the mood the whole day when he and Rackie almost do it but was stop. I turn to her and hug her tight. “Stop crying, okay?”  I said as I coax her then wipe her tears. “Promise, I won’t leave you. I just can’t find the right timing to tell my friends about us but mom and dad approved you, so it’s okay.”

She pouted. “Your mom knew that I’m Red’s ex-girlfriend, how can you say that she approve our relationship?”

hand. “If not, she can’t do anything

you say that?” she

whispered the words I want to say to her. She slapped my arm. “Do you think they can do

can say that

not? They were young when they created

also laughs. “What if they found out what happened to

my mother

want to be pitied.” She suddenly said raising

Were being sustain and living under that by the

she became a big influence to

was stunned. “Is she

“No, I can say that all of you became a better person

“How can you say

be a womanizer, Sapie had the courage to say what he feels towards Levi then you, and you

sad from what I heard from her. “Do you regret that you haven’t done it and Rackie

the one who did it because I can’t do what Rackie can and how can she maintain it that way

Rackie, she admire her wherein the real reason why Red broke up with her was because Red fell in love with Rackie wherein no one knew just only us his friends. “Aren’t you mad

saw her being nasty to Red, my impression towards her is wrong.”                      

her. “Did you know that before Rackie became Red’s girlfriend, she had this background checking from Red’s past

looked shock from what I said. “I can’t do that. I’m feeling jealous if a girl asks Red what time is it then doing a background check on his past relationships? I can’t do

chuckled. “You want to know

her questions?” she curiously asks.  

did Red have? What are the names of her ex-girlfriends? Are he friends with his exes? The reason of the break up.” I said. “If you’ll be there that moment, you might be also