Contraclockwise

What am I doing to do? Should I ignore her or not? They are not together for years besides Red is happy with Rackie so it should be okay however it is really okay? She’s my best buddy’s ex-girlfriend. I can’t say it to Air, I’m sure I’ll hear some sermon from him who seem to have a frustrated dream to be a priest. I can’t say it to Sapience, that guy will laugh at me and I can’t say it to Radiance because he’s the ex-boyfriend of Shine.

Haist! What did I get into? Why did I fell in love with my friend’s ex-girlfriend? Now, I’m problematic how will I date her, how will I go out with her without us being noticed. It’s not that I’m ashamed when I’m with her, it’s just that I’m confused what will I do.

“Love, what are you thinking?” Shine asks me which made me go back to the reality.

"Sorry, what were you saying again?” I asked.

“Won’t you be disappointed if you knew that—”

“No!” I irritably replied. It’s annoying to be asked the same question over and over again after what happened between us. “You explained already, I do understand. Besides, I’m not really into that and that’s not what I want from you.”

“But that’s what I want from you!”

I crooked my forehead and looked at her. “What do you want from me?”

“For you to love me wholly.” She said while crying.

I sigh. “I love you, Shine but I can’t always show it from the way you want me to show it.” Sometimes when we talk about like this, I want to shout at her and slapped on her face how much I love her and she doesn’t need to ask me over and over again.

“Why aren’t you asking me if Red and I did it?”

Why am I not asking her that question? “Because I know Red…” I replied even though I saw how Red was out of the mood the whole day when he and Rackie almost do it but was stop. I turn to her and hug her tight. “Stop crying, okay?”  I said as I coax her then wipe her tears. “Promise, I won’t leave you. I just can’t find the right timing to tell my friends about us but mom and dad approved you, so it’s okay.”

She pouted. “Your mom knew that I’m Red’s ex-girlfriend, how can you say that she approve our relationship?”

“If not, she can’t

say that?” she asks pouting her

like this…” I whispered the words I want to say to her. She slapped my arm. “Do you think they can

can

laughed. “Why not? They were young when

if they found out what happened to me,

Not to mention that my mother

pitied.” She suddenly said raising her

sustain and living under that by the

she became a big influence to

stunned. “Is she

that all of you became a better person when she came

can you say

because of Rackie and I can sense that Rackie is a good person. Air stopped to be a womanizer, Sapie had the courage to say what he feels towards Levi then you, and you

her. “Do you regret that you haven’t done it

was the one who did it because I can’t do what Rackie can and how can she maintain

up with her was because Red fell in love with Rackie wherein no one knew just only us his friends.

to her. “Did you know that before Rackie became Red’s girlfriend, she

can’t do that. I’m feeling jealous if a girl asks Red what time is it then doing a background check on his past relationships? I can’t do that! She’s really

know what are the questions

questions?” she curiously asks. 

said. “If you’ll be there that moment, you might be also got an interview, she have a lot