Ex-Husband's Regret

Utterly broken
Have you ever felt like your heart has been put in a mincer? That is how I feel right now looking at them. I feel like my heart has been shredded into pieces.

If I could take the useless piece of organ and throw it away then I would. Because the pain that was tearing through me was unimaginable.

I wanted to run away. To look away, but I couldn’t. My eyes were fixed on them and no matter how I wanted to avert them it was like they were glued there. To the loving scene that was playing before me.

I watch as they separate. Rowan’s eyes soften as he stares at the love of his life. I continue to watch as he cups her face in his hands. He brings her closer to him. He doesn’t kiss her, just lays his forehead against hers.

He looks peaceful. Like he’s finally home after a long time. Like he was finally whole.

‘I’ve missed you’ I read the words forming on his lips.

I don’t want to imagine what would be happening between them right now if they had met under a different circumstance. If they had met when we were still married. Would he have cheated on me?

Part of me wants to deny that thought but I can’t be sure. After all, this was Emma we were talking about. Rowan would go to hell and back for her sake.

Unable to take it anymore. I stand up and rush outside.

The moment I get outside the tears begin to fall. It fucking hurt and I didn’t know how to numb or stop the pain. But who could I blame? I was the one at fault for falling in love with a man that didn’t belong to me.

“Please make it stop. Make the pain stop” I beg whichever higher power is there to listen to me.

There is no answer though. No reprieve.

I feel my chest constricting. I couldn’t get enough air into my lungs no matter what I tried. I felt

a man that doesn’t belong to you” his mocking voice

to stay away from your precious little sister then you can walk your ass back to the hospital where your family is. There is nothing here for you”

won’t let him see me cry. I won’t give

his face. I guess he never

always belonged to Emma. Your selfishness took him away from her but now they can be

out a sarcastic

none of you will have to see or put up with

pinched in confusion. “What do

forget this day ever happened. I’ll cry myself to sleep then

mother I’ll be by to help with burial preparations, that’s if she even

I can hear Travis calling my name but I don’t bother to

drive home. Rowan told me that Noah was with his mother. I didn’t want to deal yet with another person that hated my guts.

have no one to comfort me or look

tears start falling down

can’t seem to stop. If only I could go back in time and change

that’s the things about the past. Once it’s

shock to everyone. He was a well known and loved man. So everyone was

He was probably all loved up and in Emma’s arms right now. She has probably even moved in with him already.

thoughts, I focus on zipping

comes from behind