Ex-Husband's Regret

Utterly broken
Have you ever felt like your heart has been put in a mincer? That is how I feel right now looking at them. I feel like my heart has been shredded into pieces.

If I could take the useless piece of organ and throw it away then I would. Because the pain that was tearing through me was unimaginable.

I wanted to run away. To look away, but I couldn’t. My eyes were fixed on them and no matter how I wanted to avert them it was like they were glued there. To the loving scene that was playing before me.

I watch as they separate. Rowan’s eyes soften as he stares at the love of his life. I continue to watch as he cups her face in his hands. He brings her closer to him. He doesn’t kiss her, just lays his forehead against hers.

He looks peaceful. Like he’s finally home after a long time. Like he was finally whole.

‘I’ve missed you’ I read the words forming on his lips.

I don’t want to imagine what would be happening between them right now if they had met under a different circumstance. If they had met when we were still married. Would he have cheated on me?

Part of me wants to deny that thought but I can’t be sure. After all, this was Emma we were talking about. Rowan would go to hell and back for her sake.

Unable to take it anymore. I stand up and rush outside.

The moment I get outside the tears begin to fall. It fucking hurt and I didn’t know how to numb or stop the pain. But who could I blame? I was the one at fault for falling in love with a man that didn’t belong to me.

“Please make it stop. Make the pain stop” I beg whichever higher power is there to listen to me.

There is no answer though. No reprieve.

get enough air into my lungs no matter what I tried. I felt like I was slowly dying. Slowly

when you want a man that doesn’t

you can walk your ass back to the hospital where your family is. There is nothing here for you” I wipe my tear stained eyes and put my mask back in

won’t let him see me cry. I won’t give them the chance to see

at my words. The shock is etched on his face. I guess he never expected

took him away from her but now

out a sarcastic

again. After this, none of you will have to see or put

stares at me. His brows pinched

day ever happened. I’ll cry

burial preparations, that’s if she even wants my help. And tell your sister I said

Travis calling my name but I don’t bother to turn around. I just wanted to go

Noah was with his mother. I didn’t want to deal yet with another person that hated my guts. He was safe, so I’ll just pick

have no one to comfort me or look after me. No one to love me. I have absolutely no one

start falling down my

could go back in time and change things. Maybe right now I would be married to a man

the things about the past. Once it’s happened, you can never change

turmoil. It came as shock to

but I ignored his calls. He was probably all loved up and in Emma’s arms right

those bitter thoughts, I focus on zipping my

voice comes