Ex-Husband's Regret

Utterly broken
Have you ever felt like your heart has been put in a mincer? That is how I feel right now looking at them. I feel like my heart has been shredded into pieces.

If I could take the useless piece of organ and throw it away then I would. Because the pain that was tearing through me was unimaginable.

I wanted to run away. To look away, but I couldn’t. My eyes were fixed on them and no matter how I wanted to avert them it was like they were glued there. To the loving scene that was playing before me.

I watch as they separate. Rowan’s eyes soften as he stares at the love of his life. I continue to watch as he cups her face in his hands. He brings her closer to him. He doesn’t kiss her, just lays his forehead against hers.

He looks peaceful. Like he’s finally home after a long time. Like he was finally whole.

‘I’ve missed you’ I read the words forming on his lips.

I don’t want to imagine what would be happening between them right now if they had met under a different circumstance. If they had met when we were still married. Would he have cheated on me?

Part of me wants to deny that thought but I can’t be sure. After all, this was Emma we were talking about. Rowan would go to hell and back for her sake.

Unable to take it anymore. I stand up and rush outside.

The moment I get outside the tears begin to fall. It fucking hurt and I didn’t know how to numb or stop the pain. But who could I blame? I was the one at fault for falling in love with a man that didn’t belong to me.

“Please make it stop. Make the pain stop” I beg whichever higher power is there to listen to me.

There is no answer though. No reprieve.

couldn’t get enough air into my lungs

that

warn me to stay away from your precious little sister then you can walk your ass

him see me cry. I won’t give

on his face. I guess he never

her but now they can

let out a

I won’t get in anyone’s way ever again. After this, none of you will have to see or put

me. His brows pinched in confusion. “What do

to sleep and forget this day ever happened. I’ll cry myself to sleep then wake up feeling refreshed and ready to

be by to help with burial preparations, that’s if she even wants my help. And tell your sister

car. I can hear Travis calling my name but I don’t bother to turn around.

want to deal yet with another person that hated my guts.

Being there alone just reminded me how truly alone I am. I have no one

start falling

only I could go back in time and change things. Maybe right now I would be married to a

past. Once it’s happened, you can never change

turmoil. It came as shock to everyone. He was a well known and loved man.

was probably all loved up and in Emma’s arms right now. She has probably even moved in with him already. I didn’t need

those bitter thoughts, I focus on zipping my black

Noah’s voice comes from behind