Ex-Husband's Regret

Utterly broken
Have you ever felt like your heart has been put in a mincer? That is how I feel right now looking at them. I feel like my heart has been shredded into pieces.

If I could take the useless piece of organ and throw it away then I would. Because the pain that was tearing through me was unimaginable.

I wanted to run away. To look away, but I couldn’t. My eyes were fixed on them and no matter how I wanted to avert them it was like they were glued there. To the loving scene that was playing before me.

I watch as they separate. Rowan’s eyes soften as he stares at the love of his life. I continue to watch as he cups her face in his hands. He brings her closer to him. He doesn’t kiss her, just lays his forehead against hers.

He looks peaceful. Like he’s finally home after a long time. Like he was finally whole.

‘I’ve missed you’ I read the words forming on his lips.

I don’t want to imagine what would be happening between them right now if they had met under a different circumstance. If they had met when we were still married. Would he have cheated on me?

Part of me wants to deny that thought but I can’t be sure. After all, this was Emma we were talking about. Rowan would go to hell and back for her sake.

Unable to take it anymore. I stand up and rush outside.

The moment I get outside the tears begin to fall. It fucking hurt and I didn’t know how to numb or stop the pain. But who could I blame? I was the one at fault for falling in love with a man that didn’t belong to me.

“Please make it stop. Make the pain stop” I beg whichever higher power is there to listen to me.

There is no answer though. No reprieve.

shoot to my chest. I feel my chest constricting. I couldn’t get enough air into my lungs no matter what I tried.

what happens when you want a man that doesn’t belong

your precious little sister then you can walk your ass back to the hospital where your family is. There is nothing here for you”

let him see me cry. I won’t give them

his face. I guess he never expected me to

her but now they can be together. I hope you won’t get in

let out

this, none of you

at me. His brows pinched in

to sleep and forget this day ever happened.

burial preparations, that’s if she even wants my help.

calling my name but I don’t bother to turn around.

was with his mother. I didn’t want to deal yet with another person that hated

record time. Being there alone just reminded me how truly alone I am. I have no one to comfort me or look after me. No one to love me.

tears start falling

If only I could go back in time and change things. Maybe right now I would

Once it’s happened, you can

and everyone is in turmoil. It came as shock to everyone. He was a well

ignored his calls. He was probably all loved up and in Emma’s arms right now. She has probably even moved in with him already. I didn’t need him rubbing that

those bitter thoughts, I focus

Noah’s voice comes from behind