Ex-Husband's Regret

Utterly broken
Have you ever felt like your heart has been put in a mincer? That is how I feel right now looking at them. I feel like my heart has been shredded into pieces.

If I could take the useless piece of organ and throw it away then I would. Because the pain that was tearing through me was unimaginable.

I wanted to run away. To look away, but I couldn’t. My eyes were fixed on them and no matter how I wanted to avert them it was like they were glued there. To the loving scene that was playing before me.

I watch as they separate. Rowan’s eyes soften as he stares at the love of his life. I continue to watch as he cups her face in his hands. He brings her closer to him. He doesn’t kiss her, just lays his forehead against hers.

He looks peaceful. Like he’s finally home after a long time. Like he was finally whole.

‘I’ve missed you’ I read the words forming on his lips.

I don’t want to imagine what would be happening between them right now if they had met under a different circumstance. If they had met when we were still married. Would he have cheated on me?

Part of me wants to deny that thought but I can’t be sure. After all, this was Emma we were talking about. Rowan would go to hell and back for her sake.

Unable to take it anymore. I stand up and rush outside.

The moment I get outside the tears begin to fall. It fucking hurt and I didn’t know how to numb or stop the pain. But who could I blame? I was the one at fault for falling in love with a man that didn’t belong to me.

“Please make it stop. Make the pain stop” I beg whichever higher power is there to listen to me.

There is no answer though. No reprieve.

enough air into my lungs no matter what I tried. I felt

want a man that doesn’t belong to you” his mocking voice penetrates

your ass back to the hospital where

cry. I won’t

is etched on his face. I guess he never expected me to talk back

always belonged to Emma. Your selfishness took him away from her but now they can be together.

out a

get in anyone’s way ever again. After this, none of you will have to

at me. His brows pinched in confusion.

forget this day ever happened. I’ll cry myself to sleep then wake up feeling refreshed and ready to face the next

preparations, that’s if she even wants my help. And tell your

walk away. Heading towards my car. I can hear Travis calling my name but I don’t bother to turn around. I just wanted to

and drive home. Rowan told me that Noah was with his mother. I didn’t want to deal yet with another person that

one to comfort me or

falling down my

in time and change things. Maybe right now I would be married to a man that actually

things about the past. Once it’s happened, you can never change

father died and everyone is in turmoil. It came as shock to everyone. He was a well known and loved man. So

times but I ignored his calls. He was probably all loved up and in Emma’s arms right now. She

those bitter thoughts, I focus on

comes from