Ex-Husband's Regret

Shoot out
Nothing about the day spelled disaster. The sun was shining and everything seemed to be well in place as I drove down the familiar streets.

The chapel was fully packed when we arrived. Almost everyone had come to pay their last respects.

I surveyed the place and was satisfied to see everything was in place. None of the others had been much help when it came to the burial preparation. I was the one that was left to shoulder the weight of everything.

I didn’t complain though. I took it as a chance for me to reciprocate what he’d done for me. After all, he had fed me, clothed me and put a room over my head.

The service was about to begin and most people were already seated. I decided to sit on the opposite side. It didn’t feel right sitting with the rest. It especially didn’t feel right sitting next to Emma.

“Mom, why are we sitting here…shouldn’t we sit next to grandma?” Noah asks, pointing at where the others were.

Of course we were getting weird looks but I didn’t care. After all, it wasn’t a secret that I wasn’t wholly accepted by the family after everything that happened.

“Most people are already seated. I don’t want us to cause a fracas” I lie.

He looks like he doesn’t believe me but choses to let it go. The father arrives and the sermon begins just as I feel someone sit next to me.

I tense. I would know his presence and cologne anywhere. I don’t know what he was doing seated here. He should be with his precious Emma. In fact I would prefer if he were there.

Damn I sound bitter. Which I was. Bitter, angry and hurt.

“Dad” Noah whisper yells, which causes a few people to turn and look at us.

I glower at them making them turn back around.

“Can I sit between the two of you?” Noah whispers to me.

I breathe a sigh of relief. Thank goodness for small miracles. I wouldn’t have to be near his suffocating presence.

moving us, I’m able to switch seats with him. The moment we do, I feel the

how will you leave it? Will you have made a difference? Changed it and touched the lives of those that you met along the way? Or will you leave it with regrets?” the preacher possess

were to die today, who will attend my burial? Will those around me even care? Whom am I kidding? They wouldn’t. They would

sad. The life I have. I don’t have any friends mostly because I hold myself back. Living under the perfect shadow that was Emma nailed in the fact that I can never be good enough for anyone. I wasn’t as beautiful as she was. S**y as

one sees my pain or suffering. It’s all about Emma. Her pain is bigger than mine. Her happiness is a priority

voice pulls me out

realize that the service

okay?” his deep voice

to him let alone look at him but I’ll have to because for the

stand up, without looking at him. I know it seems rude but I just can’t look

Noah,

jumps up and we walk towards the door. Once we’re outside we’re bombarded by a crowd of people wanting

hadn’t buried father yet and

decided to show your

around to face her. Her face was blotchy and her eyes were red and puffy,

want to

we just bury

in so that I’m the

also took my family from me all those years ago but no more. I plan to take everything back, including the man that was meant to be mine” she then

my sister but doesn’t say anything. I’m left shocked at her words but not

that she doesn’t have to take anything back because none of them were mine to begin with. The family she’s talking about worships

down the pain that wanted to drown me, I lead Noah to the place that would be

huddled together. Looking at them and me you would think that I was a stranger just

as

with soil until he is completely buried. Mother’s wails are the loudest as she begs for father to