Ex-Husband's Regret

Shoot out
Nothing about the day spelled disaster. The sun was shining and everything seemed to be well in place as I drove down the familiar streets.

The chapel was fully packed when we arrived. Almost everyone had come to pay their last respects.

I surveyed the place and was satisfied to see everything was in place. None of the others had been much help when it came to the burial preparation. I was the one that was left to shoulder the weight of everything.

I didn’t complain though. I took it as a chance for me to reciprocate what he’d done for me. After all, he had fed me, clothed me and put a room over my head.

The service was about to begin and most people were already seated. I decided to sit on the opposite side. It didn’t feel right sitting with the rest. It especially didn’t feel right sitting next to Emma.

“Mom, why are we sitting here…shouldn’t we sit next to grandma?” Noah asks, pointing at where the others were.

Of course we were getting weird looks but I didn’t care. After all, it wasn’t a secret that I wasn’t wholly accepted by the family after everything that happened.

“Most people are already seated. I don’t want us to cause a fracas” I lie.

He looks like he doesn’t believe me but choses to let it go. The father arrives and the sermon begins just as I feel someone sit next to me.

I tense. I would know his presence and cologne anywhere. I don’t know what he was doing seated here. He should be with his precious Emma. In fact I would prefer if he were there.

Damn I sound bitter. Which I was. Bitter, angry and hurt.

“Dad” Noah whisper yells, which causes a few people to turn and look at us.

I glower at them making them turn back around.

“Can I sit between the two of you?” Noah whispers to me.

I breathe a sigh of relief. Thank goodness for small miracles. I wouldn’t have to be near his suffocating presence.

with him. The moment we do, I feel the tension

it

but think about it. If I were to die today, who will attend my burial? Will those around me even care? Whom am I kidding? They

was Emma nailed in the fact that I can never be good enough for anyone. I wasn’t as beautiful as she was. S**y as she was. Smart as she was. Loved as

Emma. Her pain is bigger than mine. Her happiness

me out of my

I realize that the service

okay?” his deep voice always makes

him let alone look at him but I’ll have to because for the next ten years we’ll be sharing

at him. I know it seems rude but I just can’t look at him. Not when

Noah, let’s

a crowd of people wanting to give us

yet and I

decided to show your face” Emma’s

to face her. Her face was blotchy and her eyes were red and

so didn’t want to face her right

Can we just bury

that I’m the only one that can hear

here to stay. You also took my family from me all those years ago but no more. I plan to take everything back, including the

me and the departing back of my sister but doesn’t say anything.

she doesn’t have to take anything back because none of them were mine to begin with. The family she’s talking about worships the ground she walks one. And Rowan? Rowan was and still is her

me, I lead Noah to the place that would be father’s final resting

me you would think that

to dust…” the preacher says as

for father to come back