Ex-Husband's Regret

Shoot out
Nothing about the day spelled disaster. The sun was shining and everything seemed to be well in place as I drove down the familiar streets.

The chapel was fully packed when we arrived. Almost everyone had come to pay their last respects.

I surveyed the place and was satisfied to see everything was in place. None of the others had been much help when it came to the burial preparation. I was the one that was left to shoulder the weight of everything.

I didn’t complain though. I took it as a chance for me to reciprocate what he’d done for me. After all, he had fed me, clothed me and put a room over my head.

The service was about to begin and most people were already seated. I decided to sit on the opposite side. It didn’t feel right sitting with the rest. It especially didn’t feel right sitting next to Emma.

“Mom, why are we sitting here…shouldn’t we sit next to grandma?” Noah asks, pointing at where the others were.

Of course we were getting weird looks but I didn’t care. After all, it wasn’t a secret that I wasn’t wholly accepted by the family after everything that happened.

“Most people are already seated. I don’t want us to cause a fracas” I lie.

He looks like he doesn’t believe me but choses to let it go. The father arrives and the sermon begins just as I feel someone sit next to me.

I tense. I would know his presence and cologne anywhere. I don’t know what he was doing seated here. He should be with his precious Emma. In fact I would prefer if he were there.

Damn I sound bitter. Which I was. Bitter, angry and hurt.

“Dad” Noah whisper yells, which causes a few people to turn and look at us.

I glower at them making them turn back around.

“Can I sit between the two of you?” Noah whispers to me.

I breathe a sigh of relief. Thank goodness for small miracles. I wouldn’t have to be near his suffocating presence.

us, I’m able to switch seats with him. The moment we do, I feel

must leave this world one day, the question is how will you leave it? Will you have made a difference? Changed it and touched the lives of those that

help but think about it. If I were to die today, who will attend my burial? Will those around me even care? Whom am I kidding? They wouldn’t. They would probably hold a celebratory feast. The only one who will be affected

any friends mostly because I hold myself back. Living under the perfect shadow that was Emma nailed in the fact that I can never be good enough for anyone. I

is bigger than mine. Her happiness is a priority over mine. She always comes first in everyone’s mind while I’m left chasing

voice pulls me

then I realize that the service was over and

his deep

I’ll have to because for the next ten years we’ll be sharing Noah’s

my shoulders I stand up, without looking at him. I know it seems rude but I just can’t look

Noah, let’s

bombarded by a crowd of people wanting

hadn’t buried father yet and I

finally decided to show your face” Emma’s bitter

around to face her. Her face was blotchy and her eyes were red and puffy,

sigh. I so didn’t want to face her

we just bury father

so that I’m the

tell you that I am here to stay. You also took my family from me all those years ago but no more. I plan to take everything back, including the man that was meant to

between me and the departing back of my sister but doesn’t say anything. I’m left shocked

back because none of them were mine to begin with. The family

down the pain that wanted to drown me, I lead Noah to the place

together. Looking at them and me you would think that I was a

the preacher says as

with soil until he is completely buried. Mother’s wails are the loudest as she begs for father to come back to her. Emma and Travis both have silent tears running down their faces