Ex-Husband's Regret

Shoot out
Nothing about the day spelled disaster. The sun was shining and everything seemed to be well in place as I drove down the familiar streets.

The chapel was fully packed when we arrived. Almost everyone had come to pay their last respects.

I surveyed the place and was satisfied to see everything was in place. None of the others had been much help when it came to the burial preparation. I was the one that was left to shoulder the weight of everything.

I didn’t complain though. I took it as a chance for me to reciprocate what he’d done for me. After all, he had fed me, clothed me and put a room over my head.

The service was about to begin and most people were already seated. I decided to sit on the opposite side. It didn’t feel right sitting with the rest. It especially didn’t feel right sitting next to Emma.

“Mom, why are we sitting here…shouldn’t we sit next to grandma?” Noah asks, pointing at where the others were.

Of course we were getting weird looks but I didn’t care. After all, it wasn’t a secret that I wasn’t wholly accepted by the family after everything that happened.

“Most people are already seated. I don’t want us to cause a fracas” I lie.

He looks like he doesn’t believe me but choses to let it go. The father arrives and the sermon begins just as I feel someone sit next to me.

I tense. I would know his presence and cologne anywhere. I don’t know what he was doing seated here. He should be with his precious Emma. In fact I would prefer if he were there.

Damn I sound bitter. Which I was. Bitter, angry and hurt.

“Dad” Noah whisper yells, which causes a few people to turn and look at us.

I glower at them making them turn back around.

“Can I sit between the two of you?” Noah whispers to me.

I breathe a sigh of relief. Thank goodness for small miracles. I wouldn’t have to be near his suffocating presence.

able to switch seats with him. The moment we do,

world one day, the question is how will you leave it? Will you have made a difference? Changed it and touched the lives of those that you met along the way? Or will you leave it with regrets?” the preacher possess the

care? Whom am I kidding? They wouldn’t. They would probably hold a celebratory feast. The only one who will be affected by my death will be

shadow that was Emma nailed in the fact that I can never be good enough for anyone. I wasn’t as beautiful as she was. S**y as she

bigger than mine. Her happiness

pulls me out

service was over and everyone was

deep voice always

look at him but I’ll have to because for the next ten years we’ll be sharing

my shoulders I stand up, without looking at him. I know it seems rude but I just can’t look at him. Not when the memory of him staring lovingly at Emma is still fresh

on Noah,

crowd of people wanting to give us their condolences. I spot some of my colleagues

father yet

finally decided to show your face” Emma’s

her. Her face was blotchy and her eyes were red and puffy, but she still

so didn’t want

Can we just bury

that I’m the only one that

years ago but no more. I plan to take everything back, including the man that was meant to be mine” she then steps

between me and the departing back of my sister but doesn’t say anything. I’m left shocked at her words but

she doesn’t understand is that she doesn’t have to take anything back because none of them were mine to begin with. The family she’s talking about worships the ground she walks

drown me, I lead Noah to the

them and me you would think that I was a stranger just attending the burial

to dust…” the preacher says as they lower father’s body to the

she begs for father to