Ex-Husband's Regret

Shoot out
Nothing about the day spelled disaster. The sun was shining and everything seemed to be well in place as I drove down the familiar streets.

The chapel was fully packed when we arrived. Almost everyone had come to pay their last respects.

I surveyed the place and was satisfied to see everything was in place. None of the others had been much help when it came to the burial preparation. I was the one that was left to shoulder the weight of everything.

I didn’t complain though. I took it as a chance for me to reciprocate what he’d done for me. After all, he had fed me, clothed me and put a room over my head.

The service was about to begin and most people were already seated. I decided to sit on the opposite side. It didn’t feel right sitting with the rest. It especially didn’t feel right sitting next to Emma.

“Mom, why are we sitting here…shouldn’t we sit next to grandma?” Noah asks, pointing at where the others were.

Of course we were getting weird looks but I didn’t care. After all, it wasn’t a secret that I wasn’t wholly accepted by the family after everything that happened.

“Most people are already seated. I don’t want us to cause a fracas” I lie.

He looks like he doesn’t believe me but choses to let it go. The father arrives and the sermon begins just as I feel someone sit next to me.

I tense. I would know his presence and cologne anywhere. I don’t know what he was doing seated here. He should be with his precious Emma. In fact I would prefer if he were there.

Damn I sound bitter. Which I was. Bitter, angry and hurt.

“Dad” Noah whisper yells, which causes a few people to turn and look at us.

I glower at them making them turn back around.

“Can I sit between the two of you?” Noah whispers to me.

I breathe a sigh of relief. Thank goodness for small miracles. I wouldn’t have to be near his suffocating presence.

with him. The moment we do, I

world one day, the question is how will you leave it? Will you have made a difference? Changed it and touched the lives

am I kidding? They wouldn’t. They would probably

the perfect shadow that was Emma nailed in the fact that I can never be

one sees my pain or suffering. It’s all about Emma. Her pain is bigger than mine. Her happiness is

voice pulls me out

then I realize that the service was over and everyone was

his deep voice

don’t want to talk to him let alone look at him but I’ll have to because

him. I know it seems rude but I just can’t look at

Noah,

towards the door. Once we’re outside we’re bombarded by a crowd of people

father yet

show your face” Emma’s bitter voice says behind

turn around to face her. Her face was blotchy and her eyes were red and puffy, but she

sigh. I so didn’t want

we just bury father

in so that I’m the only one that

but no more. I plan to take everything back, including the man that was meant to be mine” she then steps aside

between me and the departing back of my sister but doesn’t

take anything back because none of them were mine to begin with.

wanted to drown me, I lead

me you would think that I was a stranger just attending

the preacher says as they

his coffin with soil until he is completely buried. Mother’s wails are the loudest as she begs for father to come