Ex-Husband's Regret

Shooting range
“So how’s your day sweetheart?” I ask Noal

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The phone is between my shoulder and eat I was trying to maximize by talking to him while doing some cleaning. It wasn’t an easy but at least my shoulder was doing so much better now.

“It’s awesome“” he shouts through the phone almost bursting my ent drums “We just had ice cream and now we are going to the slides, they have slides here and they lead straight to the

ocean”

His excited chanter makes me happy. His happines in my happiness The fact that he is safe and enjoying himself was enough for me.

“That’s great baby…see, I told you that you would have lots of fun”

Giving up on cleaning, I take a seat on the couch. It would be better to finish talking to him first.

“What about you mommy, how’s your weekend?”

What could I say? It was boring as hell. My eight year old son was having more fun than I was. I didn’t have anywhere to go or anyone to hang out with since I had no friends.

My colleagues used to invite me to things but they stopped after I kept turning them down Deep inside I knew they invited me as a formality, because I was there when they were inviting others. Not because they genuinely want to know me or hang out with me.

“Uh, it’s okay…just doing some cleaning” I murmur

I hear him sigh. “Mom, you need to go out and have fun like I am. Since I’m not there, I don’t want you to stay at home all alone”

Why the hell did I feel so chastised right now?

“I will, I just have to finish my chores first” I lie.

After cleaning I would probably just watch a movie and drown myself in junk food. Or I would just catch up on sleep. Both options didn’t seem that bad.

“Fine…I have to go mommy, Pa is calling for me”

“Okay my love, talk to you at night”

“Bye, and grandma says hi to you”

Noah calls mother grandma and used to call father grandpa. As for Rowan’s parents, he calls them

Pa and Ma

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“That’s good be careful on the slides” I say, completely ignoring the greetings from my supposed

mother.

He hangs up after that. Good thing he’s so excited about the slides to realize I ignored his

grandmother’s greetings. Noah is usually in tune and nothing escapes his notice. A character he got from his father, but not today. Today his mind was completely on having fun.

cleaning but soon I’m finished. Instead of watching a movie like I had planned, I decide to go through the biology essays of my students. So far the ones I’ve marked have done really well! I don’t mean to brag but

being the

rings. My heartbeat lurches when I see Ethan’s name flashing. This was totally

I answer unsure, part of me afraid that he had dialed

Ava…are you busy?”

it hadn’t been a

“Not particularly, why?”

told you aren’t at the station’s shooting range. I thought

together”

None of the things he said were making any kind of

I be

were all

case

I mean having a

me about this but I couldn’t bring myself

fuck themselves for all I

you up?” Ethan asks

be fun. Not to mention that

again.

“Sure”

I’ll be there in

I rush to my bedroom to find something descent to

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in ten minutes like he said

become an officer of the law?” I ask turning to

was comfortable and I felt at ease around

another adult for a

killed by a cop” he answers with

frown, a bit surprised. “That would turn most

but my dad wasn’t a good man and neither was he a good

illegal firearms I was actually relieved. Seeing those cops taking

like my dad who thought was untouchable made me want to do the same

was living in

was something more.

wasn’t

Students who had really abusive parents. I try to

because no child needed such parents. Abuse was abuse. Whether it was

emotional.

you become

hold myself back but I find myself opening up to

surprise.

and I was neglected as a child.

I wanted my mother to be. She cared, praised me, hugged me when I needed a hug, supported me. She was kind and not