Ex-Husband's Regret

Chapter 93

She deserves better.
Rowan.

My eyes snap open. Rays of light hitting me square in the face. I groan in pain. My head was

pounding as if there was someone using it as a fucking drum.

It takes a while to register that I am in my room, in Gabe’s house. It’s something we both did. He

has a room at my house, and I have one in his.

Groaning, I stand up and head to the bathroom. I turn on the shower and step under it. Using my

hands for support, I lean against the wall and try to put my jumbled thoughts in order. I don’t

remember much of last night except drinking.

Fuck! How the hell did I get here? How is it possible that I fell in love with Ava and didn’t realize it

sooner?

The moment the realization hit me, I went straight to the club. I rarely get drunk. I promised

myself not to ever get butt drunk after Noah was born. Normally, I just take a class or two, and

that’s enough. Yesterday, though, I needed it. I needed it badly.

There is no remedy for what I was feeling. No fucking cure. How do you even begin to deal with

the realization that you love the woman that you hated? The same woman you spent nine fucking

years hurting?

I sigh and get out of the bathroom. Feeling like I have aged at least thirty years. I haven’t been this

out of sorts in years.

After getting dressed, I head downstairs. I find Gabe having breakfast.

“Where is June?” I ask, referring to his housekeeper.

“She’s made us breakfast and left. She said that she wanted an early start to the market so she

could get fresh veggies.”

June had a thing against buying from grocery stores. For some reason, she believed that they

weren’t as fresh or organic as they wanted us to believe. She buys all vegetables, fruits, meat,

eggs, and milk from the local market, which is owned by a bunch of farmers.

“How are you feeling?” Gabe asks as I pour myself some coffee.

“Like I’ve been hit by a truck.”

+16 BONUS

When I realized that I loved Ava, part of me wanted to rush back to her house and tell her immediately. I would have if my rational side hadn’t won. It was too soon to tell her. She wouldn’t

have believed me at all.

new awareness, I was

but also knowing that I

begins, “I thought you swore never to get drunk

can’t understand how difficult it was to realize that I love Ava. That all this time I’ve caused her nothing but pain. It was suffocating

I may have lost my chance with her all because I

frowns at me in disapproval. Or when, at times,

to let it not affect me because I crave her. I follow her around like a damn lost puppy, begging for any scraps of affection she’ll give me. Even if it’s

way to

thought of what she went through at my hands. What she is dishing out is nothing compared to what I did to her. Yet

nine fucking years?

be completely out of her life

deserves better, but I can’t let

that happen? The last time I

asks me, looking puzzled.

sure you were in

that insisted that I had

adamant he was about that. He wouldn’t let it go, even after I

in love with Ava. I guess he just knows me better than I

didn’t

gut was telling me you loved Ava, but your insistence at times

was wrong.”

were fucking right. My only wish is that I

have been easier to

+15 BONUS

Lost in the bitter

her I ruined her. I broke her. My actions and words chipped at her

until there was

in your shoes” Gabe

I want to know when it happened. When did you

exact time. Maybe

thing. All I know is that I love

was frustrated and fucking scared. What a lousy time to

you love someone!

it was always there. Probably came after Noah was

on to the memory of

true love. You can’t live with

them. I know you, Ro. You wouldn’t even have touched her if you

I just got what I needed from her while still hating

I tell him, feeling sick

treated her. 1

1

you imagine you were fucking Emma because you

that would

Ava because you felt that enjoying sex with her would be a betrayal

of Emma that you held on to for

sit on the

I

it like that. I

otherwise, how would I explain how the hell I was able to get it up

I used Emma as

betrayed the love of my life once; how then could I betray her over

It all made sense

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