She deserves better.
Rowan.

My eyes snap open. Rays of light hitting me square in the face. I groan in pain. My head was

pounding as if there was someone using it as a fucking drum.

It takes a while to register that I am in my room, in Gabe’s house. It’s something we both did. He

has a room at my house, and I have one in his.

Groaning, I stand up and head to the bathroom. I turn on the shower and step under it. Using my

hands for support, I lean against the wall and try to put my jumbled thoughts in order. I don’t

remember much of last night except drinking.

Fuck! How the hell did I get here? How is it possible that I fell in love with Ava and didn’t realize it

sooner?

The moment the realization hit me, I went straight to the club. I rarely get drunk. I promised

myself not to ever get butt drunk after Noah was born. Normally, I just take a class or two, and

that’s enough. Yesterday, though, I needed it. I needed it badly.

There is no remedy for what I was feeling. No fucking cure. How do you even begin to deal with

the realization that you love the woman that you hated? The same woman you spent nine fucking

years hurting?

I sigh and get out of the bathroom. Feeling like I have aged at least thirty years. I haven’t been this

out of sorts in years.

After getting dressed, I head downstairs. I find Gabe having breakfast.

“Where is June?” I ask, referring to his housekeeper.

“She’s made us breakfast and left. She said that she wanted an early start to the market so she

could get fresh veggies.”

June had a thing against buying from grocery stores. For some reason, she believed that they

weren’t as fresh or organic as they wanted us to believe. She buys all vegetables, fruits, meat,

eggs, and milk from the local market, which is owned by a bunch of farmers.

“How are you feeling?” Gabe asks as I pour myself some coffee.

“Like I’ve been hit by a truck.”

+16 BONUS

When I realized that I loved Ava, part of me wanted to rush back to her house and tell her immediately. I would have if my rational side hadn’t won. It was too soon to tell her. She wouldn’t

have believed me at all.

but with this new awareness, I was fucking terrified. Is this how

but also knowing that

begins, “I thought you swore

You can’t understand how difficult it was to realize that I love Ava. That all this time I’ve caused her nothing but pain. It was

I may have lost my chance with her all because I couldn’t let go of my

show up to pick Noah up, and she frowns at me in disapproval. Or when, at times, she looks at me with

to let it not affect me because I crave her. I follow her around like a damn lost

way to be near

is nothing compared to what I did to her. Yet it still

nine fucking years?

me to be completely out of her life

better, but I can’t let her go no matter

did that happen? The

asks me, looking puzzled.

sure you were in love

weren’t you the one that insisted that I had

he was about that. He wouldn’t let it go, even

I wasn’t in love with Ava. I guess he just

didn’t want to

your insistence at times made me

was wrong.”

wish is that I had relegalized this sooner. Maybe then

have been easier to

+15 BONUS

the bitter memories. Memories

her I ruined her. I broke her. My actions and words chipped at her heart

there was

wish to be in your shoes” Gabe whistles and I glare at him. “But

when it happened.

I can’t pinpoint the exact time.

thing. All I know is that I love her

run my hand through my hair. I was frustrated and fucking scared. What

you love someone!

always there. Probably came after Noah was born. I also think

you held on to the memory of

true love. You can’t live with

them. I know you, Ro. You wouldn’t even have touched her if you

got what I needed from her

imagined she was Emma.” I

treated her. 1

1

fucking Emma because you

Something that would guard you

Ava because you felt that enjoying sex with her would be a

Emma that you held on to for dear life?”

on the

I

about it like that. I

I explain how the hell I was able to

and I used Emma as an

I had already betrayed the love of my life once; how then could I

by sleeping with and enjoying Ava’s body? It all made sense in my head then, but

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