Ex-Husband's Regret

Chapter 93

She deserves better.
Rowan.

My eyes snap open. Rays of light hitting me square in the face. I groan in pain. My head was

pounding as if there was someone using it as a fucking drum.

It takes a while to register that I am in my room, in Gabe’s house. It’s something we both did. He

has a room at my house, and I have one in his.

Groaning, I stand up and head to the bathroom. I turn on the shower and step under it. Using my

hands for support, I lean against the wall and try to put my jumbled thoughts in order. I don’t

remember much of last night except drinking.

Fuck! How the hell did I get here? How is it possible that I fell in love with Ava and didn’t realize it

sooner?

The moment the realization hit me, I went straight to the club. I rarely get drunk. I promised

myself not to ever get butt drunk after Noah was born. Normally, I just take a class or two, and

that’s enough. Yesterday, though, I needed it. I needed it badly.

There is no remedy for what I was feeling. No fucking cure. How do you even begin to deal with

the realization that you love the woman that you hated? The same woman you spent nine fucking

years hurting?

I sigh and get out of the bathroom. Feeling like I have aged at least thirty years. I haven’t been this

out of sorts in years.

After getting dressed, I head downstairs. I find Gabe having breakfast.

“Where is June?” I ask, referring to his housekeeper.

“She’s made us breakfast and left. She said that she wanted an early start to the market so she

could get fresh veggies.”

June had a thing against buying from grocery stores. For some reason, she believed that they

weren’t as fresh or organic as they wanted us to believe. She buys all vegetables, fruits, meat,

eggs, and milk from the local market, which is owned by a bunch of farmers.

“How are you feeling?” Gabe asks as I pour myself some coffee.

“Like I’ve been hit by a truck.”

+16 BONUS

When I realized that I loved Ava, part of me wanted to rush back to her house and tell her immediately. I would have if my rational side hadn’t won. It was too soon to tell her. She wouldn’t

have believed me at all.

but with this new awareness, I was fucking

feel? Loving me but also knowing that I hate

you swore never

I needed it. I needed to numb the pain. You can’t understand how difficult it was to realize that I love Ava. That all this time I’ve caused her nothing but pain.

my chance with her all because I couldn’t let

up, and she frowns at me in disapproval. Or when, at times, she looks at

her. I follow her around like a damn

only way

at my hands. What she is dishing out is nothing compared to what I did to her. Yet

nine fucking years?

to do with me. Wants me to be completely out of

that because she deserves better, but I can’t let her go no matter

happen? The last time I

asks me, looking puzzled.

sure you were in love

the one that insisted that I had suppressed

He wouldn’t let it go, even after I told

Ava. I guess he just knows me better than I know myself.

didn’t want

telling me you loved Ava, but your

was wrong.”

fucking right. My only wish is that I had relegalized

easier to mend

+15 BONUS

the bitter memories. Memories where I had her,

her I ruined her. I broke her. My actions and words chipped at her

there was

shoes” Gabe whistles and

me. I want to know when it happened.

I can’t pinpoint the exact time. Maybe it happened when we were still

a recent thing. All I know is that

was frustrated and fucking scared. What a lousy

you love someone!

came after Noah was born. I

you held on to the memory

she was your true love. You can’t live with someone

wouldn’t even have touched her

a biological process. I just got what I needed from

I tell him, feeling sick to the core

treated her. 1

1

imagine you were fucking Emma because you missed

back? Something that would guard you from enjoying

you felt that enjoying sex with her would be

you held on to for dear life?”

on the stool

I

that. I

how the hell I

as an escape from what I truly felt for

betrayed the love of my life once;

and enjoying Ava’s body? It all made sense in my

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