Ex-Husband's Regret

Chapter 93

She deserves better.
Rowan.

My eyes snap open. Rays of light hitting me square in the face. I groan in pain. My head was

pounding as if there was someone using it as a fucking drum.

It takes a while to register that I am in my room, in Gabe’s house. It’s something we both did. He

has a room at my house, and I have one in his.

Groaning, I stand up and head to the bathroom. I turn on the shower and step under it. Using my

hands for support, I lean against the wall and try to put my jumbled thoughts in order. I don’t

remember much of last night except drinking.

Fuck! How the hell did I get here? How is it possible that I fell in love with Ava and didn’t realize it

sooner?

The moment the realization hit me, I went straight to the club. I rarely get drunk. I promised

myself not to ever get butt drunk after Noah was born. Normally, I just take a class or two, and

that’s enough. Yesterday, though, I needed it. I needed it badly.

There is no remedy for what I was feeling. No fucking cure. How do you even begin to deal with

the realization that you love the woman that you hated? The same woman you spent nine fucking

years hurting?

I sigh and get out of the bathroom. Feeling like I have aged at least thirty years. I haven’t been this

out of sorts in years.

After getting dressed, I head downstairs. I find Gabe having breakfast.

“Where is June?” I ask, referring to his housekeeper.

“She’s made us breakfast and left. She said that she wanted an early start to the market so she

could get fresh veggies.”

June had a thing against buying from grocery stores. For some reason, she believed that they

weren’t as fresh or organic as they wanted us to believe. She buys all vegetables, fruits, meat,

eggs, and milk from the local market, which is owned by a bunch of farmers.

“How are you feeling?” Gabe asks as I pour myself some coffee.

“Like I’ve been hit by a truck.”

+16 BONUS

When I realized that I loved Ava, part of me wanted to rush back to her house and tell her immediately. I would have if my rational side hadn’t won. It was too soon to tell her. She wouldn’t

have believed me at all.

but with this new awareness, I was fucking

feel? Loving me but also knowing that I hate

thought you swore never

the pain. You can’t understand how difficult it was to realize that I love Ava. That all this time I’ve caused her nothing but pain. It was suffocating

chance with her all because I couldn’t

she frowns at me in disapproval. Or when, at times, she

it, trying to let it not affect me because I crave her. I follow her around like a damn lost puppy, begging for any

only way

What she is dishing out is nothing compared to what I

nine fucking years?

to do with me. Wants me to be completely out of her

but I can’t let her go no matter how

The last time

asks me, looking puzzled.

you were in love with Emma.”

that insisted that

that. He wouldn’t let

wasn’t in love with Ava. I guess he just knows me better than I

I didn’t want

but your insistence at times made me doubt that maybe

was wrong.”

right. My only wish is that

easier to mend what I

+15 BONUS

Lost in the bitter memories. Memories where I had her, but instead

My actions

there was

honestly don’t wish to be in your shoes” Gabe whistles and I glare at him. “But you still

when it happened. When did you fall for

the exact time. Maybe it happened when we were still

a recent thing. All I know is

was frustrated and fucking scared. What a lousy

you love someone!

there. Probably came after Noah was

her because you held on to the memory of Emma. She was your first love,

live with

you, Ro. You wouldn’t even have touched her

process. I just got what I

she was Emma.” I tell him, feeling

treated her. 1

1

you imagine you were fucking Emma because you missed her or

that would guard you

Ava because you felt that enjoying sex with her would be a

held

sit on the stool completely

I

about it like that.

would I explain how the hell I

and I used Emma as an

my life once; how

with and enjoying Ava’s body? It all made sense in my

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