Ex-Husband's Regret

Chapter 93

She deserves better.
Rowan.

My eyes snap open. Rays of light hitting me square in the face. I groan in pain. My head was

pounding as if there was someone using it as a fucking drum.

It takes a while to register that I am in my room, in Gabe’s house. It’s something we both did. He

has a room at my house, and I have one in his.

Groaning, I stand up and head to the bathroom. I turn on the shower and step under it. Using my

hands for support, I lean against the wall and try to put my jumbled thoughts in order. I don’t

remember much of last night except drinking.

Fuck! How the hell did I get here? How is it possible that I fell in love with Ava and didn’t realize it

sooner?

The moment the realization hit me, I went straight to the club. I rarely get drunk. I promised

myself not to ever get butt drunk after Noah was born. Normally, I just take a class or two, and

that’s enough. Yesterday, though, I needed it. I needed it badly.

There is no remedy for what I was feeling. No fucking cure. How do you even begin to deal with

the realization that you love the woman that you hated? The same woman you spent nine fucking

years hurting?

I sigh and get out of the bathroom. Feeling like I have aged at least thirty years. I haven’t been this

out of sorts in years.

After getting dressed, I head downstairs. I find Gabe having breakfast.

“Where is June?” I ask, referring to his housekeeper.

“She’s made us breakfast and left. She said that she wanted an early start to the market so she

could get fresh veggies.”

June had a thing against buying from grocery stores. For some reason, she believed that they

weren’t as fresh or organic as they wanted us to believe. She buys all vegetables, fruits, meat,

eggs, and milk from the local market, which is owned by a bunch of farmers.

“How are you feeling?” Gabe asks as I pour myself some coffee.

“Like I’ve been hit by a truck.”

+16 BONUS

When I realized that I loved Ava, part of me wanted to rush back to her house and tell her immediately. I would have if my rational side hadn’t won. It was too soon to tell her. She wouldn’t

have believed me at all.

awareness, I was fucking terrified. Is this how

Loving me but also

you swore never

know, but I needed it. I needed to numb the pain. You can’t understand how difficult it was to realize that I love Ava. That all this time I’ve caused

her all because I

I don’t notice it every time I show up to pick Noah up, and she frowns at me

follow her around like a damn lost

the only way

went through at my hands. What she is dishing out is nothing compared to what I did to her.

nine fucking years?

be completely out of her life for good. I want to

deserves better, but I can’t let her go no

happen? The

asks me, looking puzzled.

were in love

insisted that I had suppressed feelings for

about that. He wouldn’t

he just knows me better than

didn’t want

was telling me you loved Ava, but your insistence at times made me doubt that maybe

was wrong.”

sigh. “You were fucking right. My only wish is that I

have been easier to mend

+15 BONUS

into space. Lost in the bitter

I ruined her. I broke her. My actions and words

until there

in your shoes” Gabe whistles

me. I want to know when it happened. When

pinpoint the exact time.

All I know

hair. I was frustrated and fucking scared. What a lousy

you love someone!

always there. Probably came after Noah was born. I also think you

because you held on to the memory of

live with someone for nine

you, Ro. You wouldn’t even have touched her if you didn’t feel something

just got what I needed from her while still hating her.

were times I imagined she was Emma.” I tell him, feeling sick to the core

treated her. 1

1

Did you imagine you were fucking Emma

back? Something that would guard you from enjoying

Ava because you felt that enjoying sex with

of Emma that you held

sit on the stool completely

I

like that. I admit I

to her; otherwise, how would I explain how the hell I was able to get it up

as an escape from what

my head, I had already betrayed the love of my life once; how then could I

again by sleeping with and enjoying Ava’s body? It all made sense in

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