Ex-Husband's Regret

Chapter 93

She deserves better.
Rowan.

My eyes snap open. Rays of light hitting me square in the face. I groan in pain. My head was

pounding as if there was someone using it as a fucking drum.

It takes a while to register that I am in my room, in Gabe’s house. It’s something we both did. He

has a room at my house, and I have one in his.

Groaning, I stand up and head to the bathroom. I turn on the shower and step under it. Using my

hands for support, I lean against the wall and try to put my jumbled thoughts in order. I don’t

remember much of last night except drinking.

Fuck! How the hell did I get here? How is it possible that I fell in love with Ava and didn’t realize it

sooner?

The moment the realization hit me, I went straight to the club. I rarely get drunk. I promised

myself not to ever get butt drunk after Noah was born. Normally, I just take a class or two, and

that’s enough. Yesterday, though, I needed it. I needed it badly.

There is no remedy for what I was feeling. No fucking cure. How do you even begin to deal with

the realization that you love the woman that you hated? The same woman you spent nine fucking

years hurting?

I sigh and get out of the bathroom. Feeling like I have aged at least thirty years. I haven’t been this

out of sorts in years.

After getting dressed, I head downstairs. I find Gabe having breakfast.

“Where is June?” I ask, referring to his housekeeper.

“She’s made us breakfast and left. She said that she wanted an early start to the market so she

could get fresh veggies.”

June had a thing against buying from grocery stores. For some reason, she believed that they

weren’t as fresh or organic as they wanted us to believe. She buys all vegetables, fruits, meat,

eggs, and milk from the local market, which is owned by a bunch of farmers.

“How are you feeling?” Gabe asks as I pour myself some coffee.

“Like I’ve been hit by a truck.”

+16 BONUS

When I realized that I loved Ava, part of me wanted to rush back to her house and tell her immediately. I would have if my rational side hadn’t won. It was too soon to tell her. She wouldn’t

have believed me at all.

with this new awareness, I was fucking terrified. Is this

feel? Loving me but also knowing that I

you swore never

understand how difficult it was to realize that I love Ava. That all

my chance with her all

I show up to pick Noah up, and she frowns

let it not affect me because I crave her. I follow her around like a damn lost puppy, begging for any scraps of affection she’ll give me. Even if it’s bitterness,

only way to be

went through at my hands. What she is dishing out is nothing compared to what I did to her. Yet it still fucking hurts. How

nine fucking years?

me to be completely out of her life for good. I

I can’t let her go no matter how I fucking

happen? The

asks me, looking puzzled.

were in

but weren’t you the one that insisted that I had suppressed feelings for

that. He wouldn’t let it go,

he

didn’t

but your insistence

was wrong.”

is that I had relegalized this sooner. Maybe then

easier to mend what

+15 BONUS

bitter memories.

her I ruined her. I broke her. My actions and words chipped at her heart slowly

there was nothing

wish to be in your shoes” Gabe

when it happened. When did you

time. Maybe it happened when we were

a recent thing. All I know is that

I was frustrated and fucking scared.

you love someone!

think it was always there. Probably came after Noah was born. I also think you didn’t

to the memory of Emma. She was your first love, so

love. You can’t live with someone for nine

them. I know you, Ro. You wouldn’t even have touched

just got what I needed from her while still hating her.

Emma.” I tell him,

treated her. 1

1

were fucking Emma because you missed her or because

Something that

because you felt that enjoying sex with her

that you held on to for dear life?”

the

I

about it like that. I admit

explain how the hell I was able

and I used Emma as an escape from what I

already betrayed the love of my life once; how then could I

and enjoying Ava’s body? It all made sense

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