She deserves better.
Rowan.

My eyes snap open. Rays of light hitting me square in the face. I groan in pain. My head was

pounding as if there was someone using it as a fucking drum.

It takes a while to register that I am in my room, in Gabe’s house. It’s something we both did. He

has a room at my house, and I have one in his.

Groaning, I stand up and head to the bathroom. I turn on the shower and step under it. Using my

hands for support, I lean against the wall and try to put my jumbled thoughts in order. I don’t

remember much of last night except drinking.

Fuck! How the hell did I get here? How is it possible that I fell in love with Ava and didn’t realize it

sooner?

The moment the realization hit me, I went straight to the club. I rarely get drunk. I promised

myself not to ever get butt drunk after Noah was born. Normally, I just take a class or two, and

that’s enough. Yesterday, though, I needed it. I needed it badly.

There is no remedy for what I was feeling. No fucking cure. How do you even begin to deal with

the realization that you love the woman that you hated? The same woman you spent nine fucking

years hurting?

I sigh and get out of the bathroom. Feeling like I have aged at least thirty years. I haven’t been this

out of sorts in years.

After getting dressed, I head downstairs. I find Gabe having breakfast.

“Where is June?” I ask, referring to his housekeeper.

“She’s made us breakfast and left. She said that she wanted an early start to the market so she

could get fresh veggies.”

June had a thing against buying from grocery stores. For some reason, she believed that they

weren’t as fresh or organic as they wanted us to believe. She buys all vegetables, fruits, meat,

eggs, and milk from the local market, which is owned by a bunch of farmers.

“How are you feeling?” Gabe asks as I pour myself some coffee.

“Like I’ve been hit by a truck.”

+16 BONUS

When I realized that I loved Ava, part of me wanted to rush back to her house and tell her immediately. I would have if my rational side hadn’t won. It was too soon to tell her. She wouldn’t

have believed me at all.

with this new awareness, I was fucking

feel? Loving me but also knowing

you swore never to get drunk ever

difficult it was to realize that I love Ava. That all this time I’ve caused her nothing but pain. It was suffocating me

my chance with her

she frowns at me in disapproval. Or when, at times, she

me because I crave her. I follow her around like a damn lost

the only way to be near

at my hands. What she is dishing out is nothing compared to what I did to her. Yet it still fucking hurts. How the hell did she survive

nine fucking years?

me to be completely out of her life

I can’t

happen? The

asks me, looking puzzled.

were in love with Emma.”

one that insisted that I had suppressed feelings for

how adamant he was about that. He wouldn’t let it go, even after

in love with Ava. I guess he just knows me better than I

I didn’t want to

but your insistence at times made me

was wrong.”

“You were fucking right. My only wish is that I

to mend what I

+15 BONUS

Lost in the bitter memories. Memories where

broke her. My actions and words

until there

shoes” Gabe whistles and I glare at him. “But

know when it happened. When did you fall for

don’t know. I can’t pinpoint the exact time. Maybe it

thing. All I know is

my hair. I was frustrated and fucking scared. What a

you love someone!

think it was always there. Probably came after Noah

on to the memory

your true love. You can’t live with someone for nine

You wouldn’t even have touched her

a biological process. I just got what I needed from her while still hating her. I

she was Emma.” I tell him, feeling sick to the core

treated her. 1

1

Did you imagine you were fucking Emma because you missed her or because you

Something that would guard you

you and Ava because you felt that enjoying sex with her would be a betrayal to

held

sit on the

I

that. I admit I

explain how the hell I was able to get

right, and I used Emma as an escape from what I

of my life once; how then could I

by sleeping with and enjoying Ava’s body? It all made sense in my head then, but

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