Ex-Husband's Regret

Chapter 93

She deserves better.
Rowan.

My eyes snap open. Rays of light hitting me square in the face. I groan in pain. My head was

pounding as if there was someone using it as a fucking drum.

It takes a while to register that I am in my room, in Gabe’s house. It’s something we both did. He

has a room at my house, and I have one in his.

Groaning, I stand up and head to the bathroom. I turn on the shower and step under it. Using my

hands for support, I lean against the wall and try to put my jumbled thoughts in order. I don’t

remember much of last night except drinking.

Fuck! How the hell did I get here? How is it possible that I fell in love with Ava and didn’t realize it

sooner?

The moment the realization hit me, I went straight to the club. I rarely get drunk. I promised

myself not to ever get butt drunk after Noah was born. Normally, I just take a class or two, and

that’s enough. Yesterday, though, I needed it. I needed it badly.

There is no remedy for what I was feeling. No fucking cure. How do you even begin to deal with

the realization that you love the woman that you hated? The same woman you spent nine fucking

years hurting?

I sigh and get out of the bathroom. Feeling like I have aged at least thirty years. I haven’t been this

out of sorts in years.

After getting dressed, I head downstairs. I find Gabe having breakfast.

“Where is June?” I ask, referring to his housekeeper.

“She’s made us breakfast and left. She said that she wanted an early start to the market so she

could get fresh veggies.”

June had a thing against buying from grocery stores. For some reason, she believed that they

weren’t as fresh or organic as they wanted us to believe. She buys all vegetables, fruits, meat,

eggs, and milk from the local market, which is owned by a bunch of farmers.

“How are you feeling?” Gabe asks as I pour myself some coffee.

“Like I’ve been hit by a truck.”

+16 BONUS

When I realized that I loved Ava, part of me wanted to rush back to her house and tell her immediately. I would have if my rational side hadn’t won. It was too soon to tell her. She wouldn’t

have believed me at all.

with this new awareness, I was fucking terrified. Is this how she

Loving me but also knowing that I

begins, “I thought you swore never

pain. You can’t understand how difficult it was to realize that I love Ava. That all this time I’ve caused

have lost my chance with her all because I couldn’t let go of

don’t notice it every time I show up to pick Noah up, and she frowns at me in disapproval. Or when, at times, she looks at me with nothing but

I crave her. I follow her around like a damn lost puppy,

way to be near

is dishing out is nothing compared to what I did

nine fucking years?

wants nothing to do with me. Wants me to be completely out of her life for good. I want

can’t

The last

asks me, looking puzzled.

sure you were in love with

you the one that insisted that I had

how adamant he was about that. He wouldn’t let it go, even after I told him

wasn’t in love with Ava. I guess he just knows me better than I know

I didn’t want to

your insistence at

was wrong.”

wish is that I had relegalized

easier to

+15 BONUS

into space. Lost in the bitter memories.

ruined her. I broke her. My

there

in your shoes” Gabe

I want to know when it happened. When did

pinpoint the exact time. Maybe

thing. All I

my hair. I was frustrated and fucking scared. What

you love someone!

think it was always there. Probably came after Noah was born. I also think you didn’t

because you held on to the memory

she was your true love. You can’t live with someone for nine years and not feel a

You wouldn’t even have touched

I just got what I needed from her

say there were times I imagined she was Emma.” I tell

treated her. 1

1

imagine you were fucking Emma because you missed

you back? Something that would guard

enjoying sex with her would be a betrayal to

Emma that you held on

on the

I

like that. I admit I

I explain how the hell I was able

was right, and I used Emma as an escape from

had already betrayed the love of my life once; how then could I betray her

enjoying Ava’s body? It all made sense

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