Ex-Husband's Regret

Chapter 93

She deserves better.
Rowan.

My eyes snap open. Rays of light hitting me square in the face. I groan in pain. My head was

pounding as if there was someone using it as a fucking drum.

It takes a while to register that I am in my room, in Gabe’s house. It’s something we both did. He

has a room at my house, and I have one in his.

Groaning, I stand up and head to the bathroom. I turn on the shower and step under it. Using my

hands for support, I lean against the wall and try to put my jumbled thoughts in order. I don’t

remember much of last night except drinking.

Fuck! How the hell did I get here? How is it possible that I fell in love with Ava and didn’t realize it

sooner?

The moment the realization hit me, I went straight to the club. I rarely get drunk. I promised

myself not to ever get butt drunk after Noah was born. Normally, I just take a class or two, and

that’s enough. Yesterday, though, I needed it. I needed it badly.

There is no remedy for what I was feeling. No fucking cure. How do you even begin to deal with

the realization that you love the woman that you hated? The same woman you spent nine fucking

years hurting?

I sigh and get out of the bathroom. Feeling like I have aged at least thirty years. I haven’t been this

out of sorts in years.

After getting dressed, I head downstairs. I find Gabe having breakfast.

“Where is June?” I ask, referring to his housekeeper.

“She’s made us breakfast and left. She said that she wanted an early start to the market so she

could get fresh veggies.”

June had a thing against buying from grocery stores. For some reason, she believed that they

weren’t as fresh or organic as they wanted us to believe. She buys all vegetables, fruits, meat,

eggs, and milk from the local market, which is owned by a bunch of farmers.

“How are you feeling?” Gabe asks as I pour myself some coffee.

“Like I’ve been hit by a truck.”

+16 BONUS

When I realized that I loved Ava, part of me wanted to rush back to her house and tell her immediately. I would have if my rational side hadn’t won. It was too soon to tell her. She wouldn’t

have believed me at all.

but with this new awareness, I was fucking terrified. Is this how she

also

thought you

to realize that I love Ava. That all this time I’ve

lost my chance with her all because

it every time I show up to pick Noah up, and she frowns at me in disapproval. Or when, at times,

because I crave her. I follow her around like a damn lost puppy, begging for any scraps of affection she’ll give me. Even if

the only way to be near

compared to what I did to her. Yet it still fucking hurts. How

nine fucking years?

nothing to do with me. Wants me to be completely

she deserves better, but I can’t let her go no matter how

did that happen? The last

asks me, looking puzzled.

you were in love with

insisted that I had suppressed

remember how adamant he was about that. He wouldn’t let it go, even after I

Ava. I guess he just knows me better than I

didn’t want

your insistence at times made me doubt that

was wrong.”

wish is that I had relegalized

easier to mend

+15 BONUS

space. Lost in the bitter memories. Memories where I

I broke her. My actions and words chipped at

until there

don’t wish to be in your shoes” Gabe whistles and I glare at him. “But

me. I want to know when it happened. When did you fall for

don’t know. I can’t pinpoint the exact time. Maybe it happened

I know is that

run my hand through my hair. I was frustrated and fucking scared. What a lousy time to

you love someone!

always there. Probably came after Noah was born.

love her because you held on to the

love. You can’t live with someone for nine years and not feel

know you, Ro. You wouldn’t even have touched her if you didn’t

what I needed from her while still hating her.

were times I imagined she was Emma.” I tell

treated her. 1

1

Emma because

Something that would guard you

that enjoying sex with her would be a betrayal to

that you held

on the stool completely

I

it like that. I

I explain how the hell I was able to

was right, and I used Emma as an escape from what I

the love of my

with and enjoying Ava’s body? It all made sense in my head

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