Ex-Husband's Regret

Chapter 93

She deserves better.
Rowan.

My eyes snap open. Rays of light hitting me square in the face. I groan in pain. My head was

pounding as if there was someone using it as a fucking drum.

It takes a while to register that I am in my room, in Gabe’s house. It’s something we both did. He

has a room at my house, and I have one in his.

Groaning, I stand up and head to the bathroom. I turn on the shower and step under it. Using my

hands for support, I lean against the wall and try to put my jumbled thoughts in order. I don’t

remember much of last night except drinking.

Fuck! How the hell did I get here? How is it possible that I fell in love with Ava and didn’t realize it

sooner?

The moment the realization hit me, I went straight to the club. I rarely get drunk. I promised

myself not to ever get butt drunk after Noah was born. Normally, I just take a class or two, and

that’s enough. Yesterday, though, I needed it. I needed it badly.

There is no remedy for what I was feeling. No fucking cure. How do you even begin to deal with

the realization that you love the woman that you hated? The same woman you spent nine fucking

years hurting?

I sigh and get out of the bathroom. Feeling like I have aged at least thirty years. I haven’t been this

out of sorts in years.

After getting dressed, I head downstairs. I find Gabe having breakfast.

“Where is June?” I ask, referring to his housekeeper.

“She’s made us breakfast and left. She said that she wanted an early start to the market so she

could get fresh veggies.”

June had a thing against buying from grocery stores. For some reason, she believed that they

weren’t as fresh or organic as they wanted us to believe. She buys all vegetables, fruits, meat,

eggs, and milk from the local market, which is owned by a bunch of farmers.

“How are you feeling?” Gabe asks as I pour myself some coffee.

“Like I’ve been hit by a truck.”

+16 BONUS

When I realized that I loved Ava, part of me wanted to rush back to her house and tell her immediately. I would have if my rational side hadn’t won. It was too soon to tell her. She wouldn’t

have believed me at all.

awareness, I was fucking terrified. Is this how she

me but also knowing that

you swore never to

it. I needed to numb the pain. You can’t understand how difficult it was to realize that I love Ava. That all this

her all because I couldn’t let go of my

it every time I show up to pick Noah up, and she frowns at me in disapproval. Or when, at times, she looks at me with nothing but hate and

it, trying to let it not affect me because I crave her. I follow her around like a damn lost puppy, begging for any scraps of affection

way to

compared to

nine fucking years?

wants nothing to do with me. Wants me to be completely out of her life for good. I want

deserves better, but I can’t let her go

that happen? The

asks me, looking puzzled.

in

that insisted that I had

remember how adamant he was about that. He wouldn’t let it go, even after I told

love with Ava. I guess he just knows me better than I know

I didn’t

loved Ava, but your insistence at times made me doubt that maybe

was wrong.”

My only wish is that

have been easier to

+15 BONUS

into space. Lost in the bitter memories. Memories where I had her,

ruined her. I broke her. My actions and words chipped

there was nothing

Gabe whistles

me. I want to know when it happened. When did you fall for

the exact time. Maybe it

thing. All I know is

my hair. I was frustrated

you love someone!

after Noah was born. I also

love her because you held on to the memory of Emma. She was your first love, so

live with someone for nine years

wouldn’t even have touched her if you didn’t feel something for

I needed from her

I tell him, feeling sick to

treated her. 1

1

you were fucking Emma because you missed her or because

you back? Something that would guard you from

and Ava because you felt that enjoying sex with her would

Emma that you held

sit on the stool

I

about it like that.

the hell I

I used Emma as

the love of my life once; how then could I betray

Ava’s body? It all made sense

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