Ex-Husband's Regret

Chapter 93

She deserves better.
Rowan.

My eyes snap open. Rays of light hitting me square in the face. I groan in pain. My head was

pounding as if there was someone using it as a fucking drum.

It takes a while to register that I am in my room, in Gabe’s house. It’s something we both did. He

has a room at my house, and I have one in his.

Groaning, I stand up and head to the bathroom. I turn on the shower and step under it. Using my

hands for support, I lean against the wall and try to put my jumbled thoughts in order. I don’t

remember much of last night except drinking.

Fuck! How the hell did I get here? How is it possible that I fell in love with Ava and didn’t realize it

sooner?

The moment the realization hit me, I went straight to the club. I rarely get drunk. I promised

myself not to ever get butt drunk after Noah was born. Normally, I just take a class or two, and

that’s enough. Yesterday, though, I needed it. I needed it badly.

There is no remedy for what I was feeling. No fucking cure. How do you even begin to deal with

the realization that you love the woman that you hated? The same woman you spent nine fucking

years hurting?

I sigh and get out of the bathroom. Feeling like I have aged at least thirty years. I haven’t been this

out of sorts in years.

After getting dressed, I head downstairs. I find Gabe having breakfast.

“Where is June?” I ask, referring to his housekeeper.

“She’s made us breakfast and left. She said that she wanted an early start to the market so she

could get fresh veggies.”

June had a thing against buying from grocery stores. For some reason, she believed that they

weren’t as fresh or organic as they wanted us to believe. She buys all vegetables, fruits, meat,

eggs, and milk from the local market, which is owned by a bunch of farmers.

“How are you feeling?” Gabe asks as I pour myself some coffee.

“Like I’ve been hit by a truck.”

+16 BONUS

When I realized that I loved Ava, part of me wanted to rush back to her house and tell her immediately. I would have if my rational side hadn’t won. It was too soon to tell her. She wouldn’t

have believed me at all.

never been scared, but with this new awareness, I was

me but also knowing

begins, “I thought you swore never to

it was to realize that I love Ava.

her all because I

up, and she frowns at me in

her. I follow her around like a damn lost puppy, begging for any scraps

the only way to be near

is dishing out is nothing compared to what I did to her. Yet

nine fucking years?

do with me. Wants me to be completely out of her life for good. I want

she deserves better, but I can’t let her go no matter how I fucking

did that happen? The

asks me, looking puzzled.

you were in

but weren’t you the one that insisted that I had suppressed feelings

about that. He wouldn’t let it go, even

he

I didn’t want to

but your insistence at times

was wrong.”

fucking right. My only wish is that I

to mend

+15 BONUS

space. Lost in the bitter memories.

broke her. My actions and words chipped at her

until there was nothing

your shoes” Gabe whistles and I glare at him. “But you

I want to know when it happened. When did you fall for

time. Maybe it happened when we were still

it’s a recent thing. All I know is that I love her

run my hand through my hair. I was frustrated and fucking scared.

you love someone!

there. Probably came after Noah was born. I

to the memory

with someone for nine years and

even have

I

Emma.” I tell him, feeling

treated her. 1

1

you imagine you were fucking Emma because you missed her or

Something that would guard

you felt that enjoying sex with her would be a betrayal to

held on to for dear

on the stool

I

like that. I

explain how the hell I was

right, and I used Emma as an

of my life once; how then could I betray her

enjoying Ava’s body? It all made sense in my head then,

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