Ex-Husband's Regret

Chapter 93

She deserves better.
Rowan.

My eyes snap open. Rays of light hitting me square in the face. I groan in pain. My head was

pounding as if there was someone using it as a fucking drum.

It takes a while to register that I am in my room, in Gabe’s house. It’s something we both did. He

has a room at my house, and I have one in his.

Groaning, I stand up and head to the bathroom. I turn on the shower and step under it. Using my

hands for support, I lean against the wall and try to put my jumbled thoughts in order. I don’t

remember much of last night except drinking.

Fuck! How the hell did I get here? How is it possible that I fell in love with Ava and didn’t realize it

sooner?

The moment the realization hit me, I went straight to the club. I rarely get drunk. I promised

myself not to ever get butt drunk after Noah was born. Normally, I just take a class or two, and

that’s enough. Yesterday, though, I needed it. I needed it badly.

There is no remedy for what I was feeling. No fucking cure. How do you even begin to deal with

the realization that you love the woman that you hated? The same woman you spent nine fucking

years hurting?

I sigh and get out of the bathroom. Feeling like I have aged at least thirty years. I haven’t been this

out of sorts in years.

After getting dressed, I head downstairs. I find Gabe having breakfast.

“Where is June?” I ask, referring to his housekeeper.

“She’s made us breakfast and left. She said that she wanted an early start to the market so she

could get fresh veggies.”

June had a thing against buying from grocery stores. For some reason, she believed that they

weren’t as fresh or organic as they wanted us to believe. She buys all vegetables, fruits, meat,

eggs, and milk from the local market, which is owned by a bunch of farmers.

“How are you feeling?” Gabe asks as I pour myself some coffee.

“Like I’ve been hit by a truck.”

+16 BONUS

When I realized that I loved Ava, part of me wanted to rush back to her house and tell her immediately. I would have if my rational side hadn’t won. It was too soon to tell her. She wouldn’t

have believed me at all.

this new awareness, I was fucking terrified. Is this

feel? Loving me but also knowing that I hate

thought you swore

it. I needed to numb the pain. You can’t understand how difficult it was to realize that I love Ava. That all

her all because I couldn’t let go of my

pick Noah up, and she frowns at me in disapproval.

it not affect me because I crave her. I follow her around like a

only way to be near

nothing compared to what I did to her. Yet it still fucking hurts. How the hell did she

nine fucking years?

be completely out of her

but I can’t let her

that happen? The

asks me, looking puzzled.

you were in

you the one that insisted that I had suppressed feelings

how adamant he was about that. He wouldn’t let it go,

guess he just knows me better than I know myself.

I didn’t want

loved Ava, but your insistence at times made me

was wrong.”

My only wish is that I had relegalized this sooner.

been easier to mend what

+15 BONUS

Lost in the bitter memories.

I ruined her. I broke her. My actions and

until there

your shoes” Gabe whistles and I

it happened.

the exact time. Maybe it happened when we

a recent thing. All I

hand through my hair. I was frustrated and fucking scared. What a lousy time to

you love someone!

it was always there. Probably came after Noah was

her because you held on to the memory of Emma. She was

live with someone for nine years and not feel a

even have

process. I just got what I needed from her while

Emma.” I tell

treated her. 1

1

fucking Emma

you back? Something that would guard you

that enjoying sex with her would

held

on the

I

it like that. I

the hell I was able to

Gabe was right, and I used Emma as an escape from what

head, I had already betrayed the love of my life once; how then could I betray

and enjoying Ava’s body? It all made sense in my head then,

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