Ex-Husband's Regret

Chapter 93

She deserves better.
Rowan.

My eyes snap open. Rays of light hitting me square in the face. I groan in pain. My head was

pounding as if there was someone using it as a fucking drum.

It takes a while to register that I am in my room, in Gabe’s house. It’s something we both did. He

has a room at my house, and I have one in his.

Groaning, I stand up and head to the bathroom. I turn on the shower and step under it. Using my

hands for support, I lean against the wall and try to put my jumbled thoughts in order. I don’t

remember much of last night except drinking.

Fuck! How the hell did I get here? How is it possible that I fell in love with Ava and didn’t realize it

sooner?

The moment the realization hit me, I went straight to the club. I rarely get drunk. I promised

myself not to ever get butt drunk after Noah was born. Normally, I just take a class or two, and

that’s enough. Yesterday, though, I needed it. I needed it badly.

There is no remedy for what I was feeling. No fucking cure. How do you even begin to deal with

the realization that you love the woman that you hated? The same woman you spent nine fucking

years hurting?

I sigh and get out of the bathroom. Feeling like I have aged at least thirty years. I haven’t been this

out of sorts in years.

After getting dressed, I head downstairs. I find Gabe having breakfast.

“Where is June?” I ask, referring to his housekeeper.

“She’s made us breakfast and left. She said that she wanted an early start to the market so she

could get fresh veggies.”

June had a thing against buying from grocery stores. For some reason, she believed that they

weren’t as fresh or organic as they wanted us to believe. She buys all vegetables, fruits, meat,

eggs, and milk from the local market, which is owned by a bunch of farmers.

“How are you feeling?” Gabe asks as I pour myself some coffee.

“Like I’ve been hit by a truck.”

+16 BONUS

When I realized that I loved Ava, part of me wanted to rush back to her house and tell her immediately. I would have if my rational side hadn’t won. It was too soon to tell her. She wouldn’t

have believed me at all.

never been scared, but with this new awareness, I

but also knowing that

yesterday,” Gabe begins, “I thought you swore never to get

how difficult it was to realize that I love Ava. That all this time I’ve caused her nothing but

with her all because I couldn’t

I don’t notice it every time I show up to pick Noah up, and she frowns at me in

her around like a damn lost puppy, begging for any scraps of affection she’ll give me. Even if it’s bitterness,

only way

is dishing out is nothing compared to what I did to her. Yet it still fucking hurts. How the hell did she survive me for

nine fucking years?

wants nothing to do with me. Wants me to be completely out of her life for good. I want to

she deserves better, but I can’t let her go

that happen? The last

asks me, looking puzzled.

you were in love with

the one that insisted that I had

was about that. He wouldn’t let it go, even after I told him

love with Ava. I guess he just knows

didn’t

gut was telling me you loved Ava, but your insistence at times made me doubt

was wrong.”

My only wish is that I

easier to mend what I

+15 BONUS

the bitter memories. Memories where I had her, but

My actions and words chipped at her heart

until there was nothing

be in your shoes” Gabe whistles and

it happened.

time. Maybe it happened

recent thing. All I know is that I love her

through my hair. I was frustrated and fucking scared. What a

you love someone!

there. Probably came after

on to the memory of Emma. She

can’t live with someone

even have touched her if you didn’t

just got what I needed

I tell him, feeling sick to the core at how

treated her. 1

1

Emma because

that would guard you

you felt that enjoying sex with her would be a

Emma that you held on to

on the stool

I

like that.

to her; otherwise, how would I explain how the hell I was able to get it up and

and I used Emma as an escape from what I truly

the love of my life once;

Ava’s body? It all made sense in my head then, but

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