A note
The bright light coming through my window makes me open my eyes. Instead of getting up

immediately, I just stay in bed for a while as I rub my belly and feel my baby move inside me.

I look at the calendar on my bedside table and realize that today I just hit the sixth–month

milestone. It’s scary to have a baby. The whole journey is filled with uncertainty. I always make

sure to thank God each time I pass a milestone with my baby, knowing not all babies get to be

born.

After saying a small thank–you prayer, I get up and move downstairs. I could always shower later,

but right now I am hungry. With everything that happened yesterday, I forgot to eat.

Thinking about yesterday brings me to what happened with Rowan. I still can’t believe that I let

him kiss me or that I actually enjoyed it.

It bugs me so much that I wanted more. I wanted him to deepen the kiss. I wanted him to take it

further. I can blame it on the hormones, but we all know that I’d be lying to myself.

Rowan hurt me so much. The fact that I wanted him yesterday makes me hate myself just a little

bit. I promised myself to move on, yet there I was making out with him in my living room.

I want to believe that Rowan has changed, but I just can’t. Even if, by some miracle, he has, don’t

you think it’s a little too late for us? Too much has already happened for us to make something out

of the mess he created.

Taking out the ingredients for breakfast, I get to work. No matter what I try, I still can’t stop

thinking about the

kiss. For heaven’s sake, why the hell did this kiss affect me so much? I

just don’t fucking get it, honestly.

I could erase the feel

startles me so much that I let go of

holding.

of me,” I say with

beating heart.

you heard us, given Gunner

boys to find them munching on the cookies that I had baked

1/4

+15 BONUS

just a little

grin slips from his face. “Are you still thinking about what happened yesterday with

but he didn’t need

different thing.

are you making for breakfast, mom?”

up”

fist up in the air. “I love fry–ups; it’s like

breakfast food at once.”

him. So happy that he is happy. I’m hoping that one day Emma will see the error of her ways and mend her fences with Gunner before

done?” Noah asks. “I’m

few more minutes, and I’ll be done. Why don’t you go

I finish up?”

at the same time, before rushing to

the cleaning tools from me and proceeds to clean up the mess I’d made.

when we should have given you more time

they wanted your

a bad cook. He

mine.

would have finished cooking and brought some over anyway, so it’s not a big deal,”

get back to

holding up, all things considered?” I

now everyone knows about Gunner. He’s an

dirty secret. After my grandfather

just the two of us, but

his mother had a family. Gunner deserves

Kate weren’t people worth knowing, but they’d treated Noah well, so I

safe for Gunner to be around

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