A note
The bright light coming through my window makes me open my eyes. Instead of getting up

immediately, I just stay in bed for a while as I rub my belly and feel my baby move inside me.

I look at the calendar on my bedside table and realize that today I just hit the sixth–month

milestone. It’s scary to have a baby. The whole journey is filled with uncertainty. I always make

sure to thank God each time I pass a milestone with my baby, knowing not all babies get to be

born.

After saying a small thank–you prayer, I get up and move downstairs. I could always shower later,

but right now I am hungry. With everything that happened yesterday, I forgot to eat.

Thinking about yesterday brings me to what happened with Rowan. I still can’t believe that I let

him kiss me or that I actually enjoyed it.

It bugs me so much that I wanted more. I wanted him to deepen the kiss. I wanted him to take it

further. I can blame it on the hormones, but we all know that I’d be lying to myself.

Rowan hurt me so much. The fact that I wanted him yesterday makes me hate myself just a little

bit. I promised myself to move on, yet there I was making out with him in my living room.

I want to believe that Rowan has changed, but I just can’t. Even if, by some miracle, he has, don’t

you think it’s a little too late for us? Too much has already happened for us to make something out

of the mess he created.

Taking out the ingredients for breakfast, I get to work. No matter what I try, I still can’t stop

thinking about the

kiss. For heaven’s sake, why the hell did this kiss affect me so much? I

just don’t fucking get it, honestly.

groan in frustration, wishing I could erase

me so much that I let go of the eggs

holding.

of me,” I say with my hand pressing hard

beating heart.

“I thought you heard us, given Gunner and Noah

boys to find them munching on the cookies that I

1/4

+15 BONUS

was just a little

you still

but he didn’t need to know that I was thinking about a

different thing.

making for breakfast,

up” I

his fist up in the air. “I love fry–ups; it’s like having all your

breakfast food at once.”

that one day Emma will

you almost done?” Noah asks.

more minutes, and I’ll be done. Why don’t you go wait in

I finish up?”

same time, before rushing to the

from me and proceeds to clean

should have given you more time to

they

It’s not that Calvin was a bad cook.

mine.

would have finished cooking and brought some over anyway, so it’s not

I get

holding up, all

that now

like a dirty secret. After my grandfather

born. I didn’t mind it being just the two of us, but I knew it was unfair to him

family. Gunner deserves to know his

my eyes, Travis and Kate weren’t people worth knowing,

was safe for Gunner to be

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