A note
The bright light coming through my window makes me open my eyes. Instead of getting up

immediately, I just stay in bed for a while as I rub my belly and feel my baby move inside me.

I look at the calendar on my bedside table and realize that today I just hit the sixth–month

milestone. It’s scary to have a baby. The whole journey is filled with uncertainty. I always make

sure to thank God each time I pass a milestone with my baby, knowing not all babies get to be

born.

After saying a small thank–you prayer, I get up and move downstairs. I could always shower later,

but right now I am hungry. With everything that happened yesterday, I forgot to eat.

Thinking about yesterday brings me to what happened with Rowan. I still can’t believe that I let

him kiss me or that I actually enjoyed it.

It bugs me so much that I wanted more. I wanted him to deepen the kiss. I wanted him to take it

further. I can blame it on the hormones, but we all know that I’d be lying to myself.

Rowan hurt me so much. The fact that I wanted him yesterday makes me hate myself just a little

bit. I promised myself to move on, yet there I was making out with him in my living room.

I want to believe that Rowan has changed, but I just can’t. Even if, by some miracle, he has, don’t

you think it’s a little too late for us? Too much has already happened for us to make something out

of the mess he created.

Taking out the ingredients for breakfast, I get to work. No matter what I try, I still can’t stop

thinking about the

kiss. For heaven’s sake, why the hell did this kiss affect me so much? I

just don’t fucking get it, honestly.

erase the feel of his

Calvin’s voice startles me so much that I let go of the

holding.

scared the living day lights out of me,” I say with my hand pressing

beating heart.

“I thought you heard us, given Gunner and Noah didn’t really

to find them munching on the cookies that I had

1/4

+15 BONUS

a little bit

face. “Are you still

but he didn’t need

different thing.

you making for breakfast, mom?” Noah

up”

up in the air. “I love fry–ups; it’s like

breakfast food at once.”

one day Emma will see the error of

you almost done?” Noah asks.

few more minutes, and I’ll be done. Why don’t you go wait in the living

I finish up?”

the same time, before

cleaning tools from me and proceeds to clean up the mess I’d made. “Sorry I

we should have given you

that they wanted your

laugh at that. It’s not that Calvin was a bad cook. He just didn’t make it like

mine.

and brought some over anyway, so it’s not a

as I get back to

you holding up, all things

relieved that now everyone knows about

shouldn’t be hidden away like a dirty secret. After my grandfather died, I

didn’t mind it being just the two of us, but I knew

Gunner deserves

Travis and Kate weren’t people worth

safe for Gunner to

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