A note
The bright light coming through my window makes me open my eyes. Instead of getting up

immediately, I just stay in bed for a while as I rub my belly and feel my baby move inside me.

I look at the calendar on my bedside table and realize that today I just hit the sixth–month

milestone. It’s scary to have a baby. The whole journey is filled with uncertainty. I always make

sure to thank God each time I pass a milestone with my baby, knowing not all babies get to be

born.

After saying a small thank–you prayer, I get up and move downstairs. I could always shower later,

but right now I am hungry. With everything that happened yesterday, I forgot to eat.

Thinking about yesterday brings me to what happened with Rowan. I still can’t believe that I let

him kiss me or that I actually enjoyed it.

It bugs me so much that I wanted more. I wanted him to deepen the kiss. I wanted him to take it

further. I can blame it on the hormones, but we all know that I’d be lying to myself.

Rowan hurt me so much. The fact that I wanted him yesterday makes me hate myself just a little

bit. I promised myself to move on, yet there I was making out with him in my living room.

I want to believe that Rowan has changed, but I just can’t. Even if, by some miracle, he has, don’t

you think it’s a little too late for us? Too much has already happened for us to make something out

of the mess he created.

Taking out the ingredients for breakfast, I get to work. No matter what I try, I still can’t stop

thinking about the

kiss. For heaven’s sake, why the hell did this kiss affect me so much? I

just don’t fucking get it, honestly.

wishing I could erase the

got you so frustrated?” Calvin’s voice startles me so much that I let

holding.

you scared the living day lights out of me,” I say

beating heart.

“I thought you heard us, given Gunner and Noah didn’t

to said boys to find them munching on the cookies that I had

1/4

+15 BONUS

I was just a little bit

his face. “Are you

was a lie, but he didn’t need to know that I

different thing.

you making for breakfast, mom?” Noah

fry up”

in the air. “I love fry–ups; it’s

breakfast food at once.”

smile at him. So happy that he is happy. I’m hoping that one day Emma will see the

almost done?” Noah

minutes, and I’ll be done. Why don’t you go

I finish up?”

at the same time, before rushing to

to clean

we should have given you more time to yourself. It’s just

they wanted your

cook. He just didn’t make

mine.

brought some over anyway, so it’s not a big deal,”

as I get

are you holding up, all things

pauses. “I feel relieved that now everyone

secret.

didn’t mind it being just the two

Gunner deserves to know

worth knowing, but they’d treated Noah well, so I

for Gunner to be

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