A note
The bright light coming through my window makes me open my eyes. Instead of getting up

immediately, I just stay in bed for a while as I rub my belly and feel my baby move inside me.

I look at the calendar on my bedside table and realize that today I just hit the sixth–month

milestone. It’s scary to have a baby. The whole journey is filled with uncertainty. I always make

sure to thank God each time I pass a milestone with my baby, knowing not all babies get to be

born.

After saying a small thank–you prayer, I get up and move downstairs. I could always shower later,

but right now I am hungry. With everything that happened yesterday, I forgot to eat.

Thinking about yesterday brings me to what happened with Rowan. I still can’t believe that I let

him kiss me or that I actually enjoyed it.

It bugs me so much that I wanted more. I wanted him to deepen the kiss. I wanted him to take it

further. I can blame it on the hormones, but we all know that I’d be lying to myself.

Rowan hurt me so much. The fact that I wanted him yesterday makes me hate myself just a little

bit. I promised myself to move on, yet there I was making out with him in my living room.

I want to believe that Rowan has changed, but I just can’t. Even if, by some miracle, he has, don’t

you think it’s a little too late for us? Too much has already happened for us to make something out

of the mess he created.

Taking out the ingredients for breakfast, I get to work. No matter what I try, I still can’t stop

thinking about the

kiss. For heaven’s sake, why the hell did this kiss affect me so much? I

just don’t fucking get it, honestly.

frustration, wishing I could erase the

so much

holding.

of me,” I say with my

beating heart.

“I thought you heard us, given Gunner

said boys to find them munching on the cookies that I

1/4

+15 BONUS

just a little bit lost

face. “Are you still thinking about what happened

was a lie, but he didn’t need to

different thing.

making for breakfast, mom?”

fry up” I

in the air.

breakfast food at once.”

at him. So happy that he is happy. I’m hoping that one day Emma will see the error of her ways and mend her fences with

almost done?” Noah

few more minutes, and I’ll be done. Why don’t

I finish up?”

they say at the same time, before rushing to the other

to clean up

breakfast when we should have given

that they

was a bad cook. He just didn’t make it like

mine.

finished cooking and brought some

as I get back to frying

are you holding up, all

feel relieved that now everyone knows about Gunner. He’s an amazing

he shouldn’t be hidden away like a dirty secret. After my grandfather died, I had no one

just the two of us, but I knew it was unfair

Gunner deserves to

people worth knowing,

Gunner to be around

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