A note
The bright light coming through my window makes me open my eyes. Instead of getting up

immediately, I just stay in bed for a while as I rub my belly and feel my baby move inside me.

I look at the calendar on my bedside table and realize that today I just hit the sixth–month

milestone. It’s scary to have a baby. The whole journey is filled with uncertainty. I always make

sure to thank God each time I pass a milestone with my baby, knowing not all babies get to be

born.

After saying a small thank–you prayer, I get up and move downstairs. I could always shower later,

but right now I am hungry. With everything that happened yesterday, I forgot to eat.

Thinking about yesterday brings me to what happened with Rowan. I still can’t believe that I let

him kiss me or that I actually enjoyed it.

It bugs me so much that I wanted more. I wanted him to deepen the kiss. I wanted him to take it

further. I can blame it on the hormones, but we all know that I’d be lying to myself.

Rowan hurt me so much. The fact that I wanted him yesterday makes me hate myself just a little

bit. I promised myself to move on, yet there I was making out with him in my living room.

I want to believe that Rowan has changed, but I just can’t. Even if, by some miracle, he has, don’t

you think it’s a little too late for us? Too much has already happened for us to make something out

of the mess he created.

Taking out the ingredients for breakfast, I get to work. No matter what I try, I still can’t stop

thinking about the

kiss. For heaven’s sake, why the hell did this kiss affect me so much? I

just don’t fucking get it, honestly.

frustration, wishing I could erase the feel of

frustrated?” Calvin’s voice startles me so much

holding.

of me,” I say with my hand

beating heart.

us, given

them munching on the cookies that I

1/4

+15 BONUS

was just a little bit

from his face. “Are you still

he didn’t

different thing.

are you making for

up” I

air. “I love

breakfast food at once.”

So happy that he is happy. I’m hoping that one day Emma will see

done?” Noah asks. “I’m

Just a few more minutes, and I’ll be done. Why don’t you go

I finish up?”

time, before rushing

from me and proceeds to clean up the mess I’d made.

we should have given you

they wanted your

It’s not that Calvin was a bad cook. He just didn’t make it like I

mine.

I would have finished cooking and brought some over anyway, so

I get back to

holding up, all things considered?” I ask

He pauses. “I feel relieved that now everyone knows about Gunner. He’s an amazing

dirty secret. After my

was born. I didn’t mind it being just the two of us, but I knew it was unfair to

had a family. Gunner deserves to know

my eyes, Travis and Kate weren’t people worth knowing, but they’d treated Noah

was safe for Gunner to be

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