A note
The bright light coming through my window makes me open my eyes. Instead of getting up

immediately, I just stay in bed for a while as I rub my belly and feel my baby move inside me.

I look at the calendar on my bedside table and realize that today I just hit the sixth–month

milestone. It’s scary to have a baby. The whole journey is filled with uncertainty. I always make

sure to thank God each time I pass a milestone with my baby, knowing not all babies get to be

born.

After saying a small thank–you prayer, I get up and move downstairs. I could always shower later,

but right now I am hungry. With everything that happened yesterday, I forgot to eat.

Thinking about yesterday brings me to what happened with Rowan. I still can’t believe that I let

him kiss me or that I actually enjoyed it.

It bugs me so much that I wanted more. I wanted him to deepen the kiss. I wanted him to take it

further. I can blame it on the hormones, but we all know that I’d be lying to myself.

Rowan hurt me so much. The fact that I wanted him yesterday makes me hate myself just a little

bit. I promised myself to move on, yet there I was making out with him in my living room.

I want to believe that Rowan has changed, but I just can’t. Even if, by some miracle, he has, don’t

you think it’s a little too late for us? Too much has already happened for us to make something out

of the mess he created.

Taking out the ingredients for breakfast, I get to work. No matter what I try, I still can’t stop

thinking about the

kiss. For heaven’s sake, why the hell did this kiss affect me so much? I

just don’t fucking get it, honestly.

in frustration, wishing I could erase

voice startles me so much that I

holding.

day lights out of me,” I say with my hand pressing hard

beating heart.

thought you heard us, given Gunner and Noah didn’t really

boys to find them munching on

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+15 BONUS

a

“Are you

head. It was a lie, but he didn’t need to know that I was thinking

different thing.

making for breakfast,

fry up”

the air. “I love fry–ups; it’s like

breakfast food at once.”

one day Emma will

done?” Noah asks. “I’m so

done. Why don’t you go wait

I finish up?”

time, before rushing

the cleaning tools from me and proceeds to clean up the mess I’d

here for breakfast when we should have given

they wanted your

a bad cook. He just didn’t make it like I did.

mine.

okay. I would have finished cooking and brought some over anyway, so

get back to frying the

you holding up, all things considered?” I

“I feel relieved that now everyone knows about Gunner. He’s an amazing

he shouldn’t be hidden away like a dirty secret. After my grandfather died, I had

didn’t mind it being just the two of us,

mother had a family. Gunner deserves to know

and Kate weren’t people worth knowing, but they’d treated

was safe for Gunner to

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