Ex-Husband's Regret

Chapter 0489

Ava gave him the kind of motherly love he lacked from me. The kind of love he longed for me to give him. I see it now. The moment he met Ava. The moment she took him in, even before the truth came out. It's the moment he gave up on me. It's the moment Gunner stopped caring about a relationship between us.

"I hear you Emma." Mia gives me a tissue. "I do hear you, but I have to ask, where was this same determination back then? Why did you refuse to have a relationship with Gunner?"

I've asked myself the same question over and over again.

For eight years, I denied his existence. For eight years, I treated him like he didn't matter. For eight fucking years I held him at arm's length.

"I know it's a stupid reason now that I think about it, but back then I didn't want anything or anyone reminding me of the life I had when Rowan and I were separated. To me, Gunner was a mistake. He never should have been conceived. I didn't want my life with Rowan to be shadowed by the child I had with another man. I wanted to remain perfect in Rowan's eyes."

with you, Ava's pregnancy was unplanned, but even if you and Rowan had ended up together, he wouldn't have pushed

right there. Her words shame

never have pushed Noah aside for my sake. Hell, he broke off our relationship when he learned all the shit I'd spouted about Noah. Yet

my chest as the pain intensifies. I felt raw. Like my chest had been ripped

just showed me what a horrible person I was to

see yourself. It's to help you come to terms with your mistakes and help you forgive yourself. My

would have scarred that boy for life much like Ava's past experiences with your family had scarred her. How do you think he felt every time you ignored him? Every time you treated him like

breath catches and I find it hard to breathe. My throat is clogged with emotions

want to escape her words. Words that feel like pointed arrows