Chapter 0514

"How did you feel seeing Gunner?" Mia asks, her eyes as always were perceptive. Staring at me like she could see straight into my soul.

Given that I've gone back to work, we've had to move things around to fit my new schedule. Most of my sessions are now scheduled between four thirty and six in the evening.

I already know the answer to that. I don't need to think about it. Thinking about that day, though, fills my eyes

with tears.

*Heart wrenching," I all but whisper the words.

It feels like it's been forced out of me. Out of the deepest parts of my soul. I try to force the sob that threatens to break free, but it's useless. I tears out of me painfully, leaving me breathless.

"How so?" Mia asks, handing me tissue paper.

I take it and wipe the tears falling down my face. It does no good because they keep flowing like a damn river. Getting angry at them for how they keep falling, I ball the tissue in frustration before chucking it in the dustbin.

*I saw it in his eyes, he hated me." I begin giving up on my battle against the tears that kept falling down my face. "There was so much anger reflected in his eyes. So much bitterness."

emotions is still imprinted on my head and heart. They still burn me in

*Emma,"

wipe away my tears with the back

It destroyed me, knowing that it was my fault. That I am

difficulty breathing as the intensity of my emotions chocks

in my dreams. When I wake up, they are there, staring accusingly at me. I see them everywhere I look. Everywhere I turn. I

now, I am worried about you. I sense a lot of

can't deny it. I honestly feel disgusted with myself. How can I call myself a mother when I caused such havoc in my child's life? How can I be okay with myself when I literally brought such emotions into him? Children should remain innocent for as long as they can. They should not feel any kind of hatred, anger, or bitterness. I took Gunner's innocence when I caused him to feel such emotions. "I'm not really happy with myself," I

you deserve a second chance?" She asks.

thought about it because it has never crossed my mind. Do I deserve forgiveness? Do I deserve a second

question keeps playing in my head like a broken record. It echoes inside, its haunting

but I see nothing at all. I dig deep inside me to try and find the answer to that question. Trying

doesn't push me or force me to come up with the answer sooner. She just silently jots down something in her

and I sigh. "No, I don't believe that I deserve

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