Falling For The Man I Married

I went home that night carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders. I've never felt so numb in my entire life not even when I found out that my father has his first family and that we're just his second, or when I learned that we don't have the same mother with my siblings, or even when I realized that I can't have a whole family that I dreamed of like every other child would like to have.

The pain I felt when he threw the bomb in front of me was incomparable to what I felt when I was still young. When I was bullied and everyone treated me like trash. Because with what he said, it felt like poison to my blood. It was killing me slowly but surely. It made me think of my worth that no matter what I try to do, I can never be enough. I can't have him and I will never be able to call him mine.

He will never be mine.

My mind was screaming and my heart was wailing inside my rib cage and I hate it when my mind was telling me to stop loving him, but my stubborn heart couldn't let go of those stupid feelings. I couldn't breathe and couldn't think straight in those past few days. 

I was like the girl who I was just watching in a drama series who seemed to be happy on the outside, telling jokes, smiling, having fun but what everybody didn't know, I was dying on the inside. They didn't realize that I was hurt and tired at the same time. Tired of not being good enough, and tired of being just the second choice. 

But honestly, I don't want them to know about my pain. I don't want them to think I'm weak, and an attention-seeker, so I'm keeping it all inside. Playing the role of being the best actress and acting like everything's okay and perfect, especially in front of him, but cries every night asking the stars and the whole universe how to stop and kill the pain I have inside.

It's been a week since he broke the shocking news to me and since then I've been trying to distance myself from him just to breathe. I don't know if I'll stay with him and help him with his plan or stay away like what my friends always tell me.

There were lots of happenings in these past seven days and one of them was when Noelle and Sandy tried to cheer me up, so they asked me to come with them to the mall and have some girly moments. But to my one of a shity day, I encountered the queen of the bitch inside of one of the boutiques.

Stacey.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Flashback...

"Ohh... hi, Madi."

I turned to see who greeted me and my eyebrow automatically knew its way up.

"Are you shopping?" she asked, smirking.

I sneered. "Nope, I'm honestly trying to find some cure and ailment for someone's itchiness... which I have heard now needs to be scratched."

"Oh, Madi... Madi... Madi.. tsk.tsk.tsk." she said shaking her head. "Don't you think I don't know the truth?"

I scrunched my eyebrows. What truth is she talking about?

"That Gabriel married you just to make me jealous and get me back."

I laughed at her, even though deep inside, she had pressed my already injured heart.

"And who told you that bullshit idea?" 

"It's not really important. What important is that I already knew the truth, so you can stay away now with my Gabi."

I suddenly felt my temper rising to my head.

"And who are you to tell me that bullshit idea? I am the wife! I am the legal wife, so just keep your nonsense thoughts in your shity mouth! And whoever told you that lies, for sure he or she has enormous envy with us for doing such a thing!"

"Lies? Are you sure that's just lies? Because if it's true, then why did Gabriel always following me everywhere I went? He kept calling me and asking me if I'm okay like in the old days? And why did he choose to stay with me than to be with you almost every night?"

I gulped, forming my fists. I wanted to punch her shity face... if she's not just pregnant.

"And may I add.. why aren't you got pregnant, if you're saying you're the real wife?"

gasped with

Yes, I'm not the wife, but I'm the pregnant one." she proudly stated before giving me her

tell if

about?" her laugh died as she

turn to laugh at

her legs to everyone. What are you a canteen

me like in our first encounter in the restroom of their

It's eww, and I

took her hand out of

me an excuse that you're pregnant not to slap your face and push you hard on the floor because I don't

then I remembered one thing. I

come out of your nose! Oops, you're pregnant... I forgot! Let's rephrase my sentence... 'Back off unless you want your baby to come out of your

with my last words, but I left her in that state and walked out of

End of flashback...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

because knowing Greg, he'll just become like Sandy and Noelle when he knows about what happened. But in the end, I decided to answer to take his call. He said he wanted us to meet, have a casual talk. Eat somewhere and then go home, and

to be found inside the house, I decided to leave a message outside my bedroom door. I didn't bother to call or send him a message because I don't want him to know where I am going. I don't want him to reply

at the side of the coffee shop next to the glass

"Greg," 

got up when he noticed me

into a tight hug. He also kissed

down," he said pulling the chair for

"Thank you,"

to eat?" he asked

thanks, but

will eat unless you want to order all the cakes that they sell and

and he even pointed the piece

Greg Anderson!" I said,

good choice. Will you eat or pay for all of their pastries?" he raised

just let

talk to the owner," he said getting up and I glared at

"Greg!"

you can buy the whole store!" he returned to his seat and laughed at

now! Happy?" I

happy! That's my girl!"

when

orders in front of me,

closed my eyes when my nose hit the smell of the delicious aroma of my chocolate latte and the cake in front of

still full."

I was in the middle savoring my oreo cake when

"How are you, Madi?"

stopped munching the cake as I

simply answered and took a

it. I can see it clearly," he

"Greg..."