Forever in the Past and Forever in the Future

Forever in the Past and Forever in the Future by Neener Chapter 4

The next month and a half are the worst of my life. Thank Goddess for Lex. She keeps me going. Any motivation I ever had is gone now. Instead of just

breakfast and dinner, now I make lunch too and I’m still on pantry duty. Every moment of my day is filled with work from the time I wake up until the time I crash in my bed. Lex convinces me to enjoy the time that she and I get to spend together, which is when I’m cooking meals.

I find I actually do enjoy cooking while Lex is with me. No one comes to bother me, so we get to have great conversations without interruptions. In the end, I have created something people will enjoy. I even found a couple of recipe books in the back of one of the kitchen cupboards and taught myself some new techniques and dishes to make.

Everything else in my life is complete shit. Alpha Graham allows pack members to hit me and verbally abuse me and they take full advantage at every opportunity. He comes to my room multiple times a week to beat me and berate me for imaginary offenses I haven’t committed.

Sometimes Ryan comes and watches. A couple of times he even gets the whip for his father but he never actually hits me. I swear I see him smiling while he watches. Lex tries to convince me to fight back, but that would be a death sentence for both of us. If I fight back or even worse, if I shift, I’m certain I’d be killed on the spot.

Lex keeps telling me everything will change when I shift. She keeps saying we are a daughter of the Moon Goddess and we are her warrior. She is frustrated that I submit instead of fighting back. She is angry at me for keeping her a secret. She says doing so is making her weaker.

“Okay, Lex, a couple of problems with all of this,” I try to tell her for the millionth time after we plop in bed, “First, I have no idea when I’m going to be able to let you out.

I’m up and working every day from five a.m. until after midnight. Secondly, if the Alpha finds out I have a wolf at all, he might banish me and kill me or just skip banishing me and straight out kill me. Lastly, we are a slave, not a warrior. We aren’t even an omega.”

“Kas, we are not just a warrior, we are a child of the Moon Goddess. She is our mother.”

I just roll my eyes, “Okay, okay. I don’t know when I can let you out, but at the first opportunity, I will take it, Lex. I promise.”

This seems to satisfy her. We keep having the same argument about werewolves all being children of Moon Goddess versus being an actual child of the Moon Goddess. She doesn’t understand the difference. I think

she actually believes the Moon Goddess is my mom, like, in the literal sense of the word mother.

Every night, I’m completely exhausted by the time I get back to my room. It’s an even longer day if I’m visited by Alpha Graham. Lex has been the best friend I could ask for, even if she is frustrated and getting weak. She is always supporting me and pushing me to not give up. I feel guilty that I can’t support her in return.

running up to me while I’m making lunch and tells me the Alpha wants to see me in his office right away. I drop what I’m

door

inside. I pull open the door

for me, Alpha?” I ask as quietly as possible. The easiest way to get away

there, come in,” he

close to the door as possible in case I

a delegation coming from the Blood River pack next week. Twenty wolves in total, all of the ranked members, their mates, the heads of their security and guards, and security detail for all of them. If all goes well, we’ll be forming a pact with them. They must be treated with

my hat, still

eyes. Yes, even after almost two months, he still hasn’t noticed

has, he hasn’t pointed it out. He also hasn’t said anything about my

“Yes, sir.”

Except for the Alpha, who is coming Tuesday. We’ll be having a party after dinner to welcome him. Make sure there is enough food for the party. Give Sam the information for the additional food you need to

“Yes, sir.”

let him kill you. Do you understand?” He

“Y-yes, sir.”

of my sight,” he points to the door

fast as possible to find Sam. Sam is in charge of ordering supplies for the packhouse. He should be in his office right now. My mind is already churning through the special foods to

pack in the northern region with my pack, Silver Moon, being the second largest. Alpha Graham says Blood River is vicious and strict. Most of their pack has served in the military at one point

Alpha kills pack members who fail training tests because he doesn’t want weak wolves in his pack. Definitely a guy I don’t want to cross

answer. I knock a little louder. What a jerk, he has to know I’m here. He

creepy. He stares at

a choice but to work with him, Lex. He’s

let’s

knock again. More impatiently this time. “What is it?” He finally growls from