It wasn’t as bad as not remembering the first ten years of her life, so she always said, “If I can handle not knowing, I can handle anything.”

She thought back to when her mother started rambling about how some time away from ‘London’s cold’ would be great. Just the thought of it stirred up her anger at how foolish she was for the lack of concern. Clare presumed her mother was blowing off steam, or some psychological bullshit after whatever happened to her. Fearing it was rape Flare could only hope not, because she’d seen the after effect, especially on people like her mother, who liked control. A shudder went through her at the vision of her mother ending up like her friend Stacy’s.

What Clare couldn’t understand about the whole ordeal was what was so damn important that she had to drop school and leave straight away, two weeks before her interview with Oxford University. That was what stayed on her mind, unsolved as she finally drifted off.

***

Clare open her sleep filled eyes. Her stiff neck begging to be stretched as her lower back felt like it was run over by a train, leaving her groaning in discomfort. Lifting her head, a wave of lead greeted her before the constant pound of drumming made her want to drill a nail in her skull and dig her brain out. Talk about an alcohol free hangover.

Side effects of awkward sleeping, ‘shit,’ she swore inwardly. She scrunched her face and slowly straightened her long legs.

Five minutes into stretching her body on the sofa she felt great. Well not that great but totally what she needed.

“Honey,”

floor, “Jesus, mom, just scare the sleep right outta me, don’t ya.”

jamb, she waited until Clare finally got up

the first time that she had really looked at her mother. The light powder blue eyes so different to Clare’s green emeralds, yet almost identical to Phillip’s, Clare’s friend, looked back at

mother’s head could mean either two things- they were getting a visitor, or the visitor was her mother. Judging from the flushed freckles on Michelle’s cheeks and the slight frown to her brow, Clare figured neither. Her mother had already been the

elegance that was an innate part of her, something that Clare herself couldn’t even feign. It was somehow ingrained in her to wear boots and always choose practicality over fashion. Unfortunately there was no way of confirming

chinos. She never showed too much skin even though she was five foot eleven and fit comfortably in a European eight. That night which changed everything was the exception. The one and only time Clare could remember seeing her mother in a

Clare wondered if she was adopted. They had nothing in common when it came to looks, style, or temperament. The things that kept Clare from believing her presumptions true was first, Michelle’s height, she was almost as tall

surprise. Those weren’t the deciding factors. No, that was left to the obligation that Michelle always saw her as. Clare wasn’t a child wanted in Michelle's mind, but one to protect. She doubted her mother would’ve kept her if it wasn’t for the blood ties, and that hurt. But Clare always told herself, “If I can handle not knowing, I can handle anything,” and that was exactly what she was

you looking at me like that?” She didn’t answer her mother. Not that she didn’t want to,

then she must look like him. The mystery sperm donor. She had no recollection of

sharp jawline to match unnaturally dark green eyes. She could almost see him, the male

from her dad, Clare moved well. She was solid on her feet. So what if she couldn’t

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