In My Desperate Time

I run to the bathroom and lock the door.

I lean against the door, and my heart feels like being pressed by a heavy stone, which makes me breathless.

I see things simply. I didn’t expect that things have just started and I have begun to think that it is not easy to stay at Frances Louis’s side.

I have prepared to throw my dignity away, but in the end, he tramples me to pieces.

Below me, there is a muddy liquid flowing out, with a silk of red.

Of course, I know. It's not my period. It's my transformation from girl to woman.

How ironic!

What's the point of this blood coming out now?

Can I bring Frances Louis in and show him?

“Jane Noyes, maybe your life is just a joke.”

I walk to the shower with a wry smile, open the shower head, carefully wash my soring body, and wash off the blood on the floor.

Let all these unimportant things go with the water. I just want to solve my brother problem through Frances Louis, and I don't want to think about anything else.

I don't know how long I've been in there. The foggy water fills in the bathroom, and I feel a little dizzy.

But I don't want to go out, I don't want to face Frances Louis' scrutiny.

At least, not tonight.

There is a rhythmic knock on the door, followed by the voice of Frances Louis.

“How long will you be in there? You wash yourself so long, Are you not clean, or I am not clean?”

I am shocked and don’t know what to do.

I am glad I have closed the door, or Frances Louis might have come in.

“Right…right away.”

a towel to wipe the body, but

The back of my head hits the floor

are you doing? Get out?!”

I don’t want him

hear everything around me. But my tongue is like knotted, I can say nothing and my body is limp, I have no strength.

no! Can anything worse happen to

Frances Louis calls me again outside door and knocks fiercely.

Then, the world becomes quiet.

I think he has gone, but the door is

Louis rushes in.

I could feel his burning eyes on me, and my skin is boiling hot. But I couldn't open my eyes. I have no idea

not to see him, so as not to die of embarrassment under his

me up. I feel soft under him. He

me a while to feel less dizzy and regain some strength.

importantly, I was conscious the whole time!

is terribly quiet. I don’t know whether Frances Louis is in

I open my eyes a little, and meet Frances Louis's

me with no expression on his face, but it is enough to embarrass me to

opens, he could at

that how Frances Louis has been looking

suddenly blushes. I pull over the quilt

I turn my head away

next time, you lock the doors and windows. If I had come in later, you would have been in heaven.”

Frances Louis glances at me and says lightly.

what he said, I guess I was poisoned by

it. I have not solved the problem,

phone rings, and

know. Wait. I'll be right

is a woman on the other end of the line. He would be

she? Is that woman

it isn’t my business. Frances Louis and I just take what we need, and neither of us has any say in the other’s private life.\

I come to him for

my brother, but he gets

to talk to you.” I say