In My Desperate Time

I run to the bathroom and lock the door.

I lean against the door, and my heart feels like being pressed by a heavy stone, which makes me breathless.

I see things simply. I didn’t expect that things have just started and I have begun to think that it is not easy to stay at Frances Louis’s side.

I have prepared to throw my dignity away, but in the end, he tramples me to pieces.

Below me, there is a muddy liquid flowing out, with a silk of red.

Of course, I know. It's not my period. It's my transformation from girl to woman.

How ironic!

What's the point of this blood coming out now?

Can I bring Frances Louis in and show him?

“Jane Noyes, maybe your life is just a joke.”

I walk to the shower with a wry smile, open the shower head, carefully wash my soring body, and wash off the blood on the floor.

Let all these unimportant things go with the water. I just want to solve my brother problem through Frances Louis, and I don't want to think about anything else.

I don't know how long I've been in there. The foggy water fills in the bathroom, and I feel a little dizzy.

But I don't want to go out, I don't want to face Frances Louis' scrutiny.

At least, not tonight.

There is a rhythmic knock on the door, followed by the voice of Frances Louis.

“How long will you be in there? You wash yourself so long, Are you not clean, or I am not clean?”

I am shocked and don’t know what to do.

I am glad I have closed the door, or Frances Louis might have come in.

“Right…right away.”

a towel to wipe the body,

head hits the floor so hard that I black out.

Noyes, Jane Noyes, what are you doing? Get out?!”

him to come in and save me, but I don’t want him to see

like knotted, I can say nothing and my body

God, no! Can anything worse

Frances Louis calls me again outside door and knocks fiercely.

Then, the world becomes quiet.

I think he has gone, but the door is kicked open.

Louis rushes

is boiling hot. But I couldn't open my eyes. I have no idea what expression of

better not to see him, so as not to die of embarrassment under his eyes.

me up. I feel soft under him. He probably put me

It takes me a while to feel less dizzy and regain some strength.

I was conscious the whole

know whether Frances Louis is in the room or asleep.

my eyes a little, and meet Frances Louis's

on his face, but

still naked. The air conditioning opens, he could at least give

Is that how Frances Louis has been looking

blushes. I pull over the quilt and cover my body.

are you still up?” I turn my head away to skip the

next time, you lock the doors and windows. If I had

Louis glances at

what he said, I guess I was poisoned

I have not solved the problem, I can’t

Frances Louis's cell phone rings, and he picks it up gently.

“Well, I know. Wait.

the other end of the

she? Is that woman I saw in the

my business. Frances Louis and I just take what we need, and neither of us has any say in

I come to him

my brother, but he gets up and says, “you sleep first. I have to go out for a while.”

to talk to you.” I say