In My Desperate Time

After one week, I am discharged from the hospital.

During the hospital stay, I pick out a name for my daughter:

Penelope.

It means love that never dies.

But I guess I'm the only one who knows why I give her that name.

Penelope has yet to be discharged from the hospital, but now she can take her bottle herself. That's something!

The doctor gives her a checkup and tells me that if it goes well, Penelope will be transferred to the general ward in two days.

Since I can't see Penelope except in visiting hours, my mother and I go back to our hometown together.

On Monday afternoon, we rush over to see her.

Three days later, Penelope is transferred to the general ward. And I stay in the hospital so that I can take good care of her.

Seeing her increasingly round chubby cheeks, I feel extremely happy.

But my mother really worries about me.

"Jane, you've lost a lot of weight."

than I was during

I decide to take care of Penelope myself even without being confined in a month. My mother wouldn't let me. If not for my tears and pleas, I wouldn't have been allowed to stay by her

I’m barely

look in the mirror, I'm even afraid to look at myself. I'm afraid that

hold on. If I fall apart, what will happen

next to Penelope's after I've taken care of her for a whole day. For me, the happiest

month, Penelope has gained from 1.6 kilograms

the doctor in mind, I carefully bring

day. It requires a lot of

I have no

can do is to

giving birth to Penelope, I go to the

to be a designer

the brush, I would

suddenly come to my mind and

recurring flashbacks of the bygone days. That shot has brought me great

heart

could be away from Frances if I didn't think about him or ran

suddenly

shows up with Hilda, Albie, and

look like a family of

carrying a lunch box, squatting on the side of the road and eating my lunch.