In My Desperate Time

After one week, I am discharged from the hospital.

During the hospital stay, I pick out a name for my daughter:

Penelope.

It means love that never dies.

But I guess I'm the only one who knows why I give her that name.

Penelope has yet to be discharged from the hospital, but now she can take her bottle herself. That's something!

The doctor gives her a checkup and tells me that if it goes well, Penelope will be transferred to the general ward in two days.

Since I can't see Penelope except in visiting hours, my mother and I go back to our hometown together.

On Monday afternoon, we rush over to see her.

Three days later, Penelope is transferred to the general ward. And I stay in the hospital so that I can take good care of her.

Seeing her increasingly round chubby cheeks, I feel extremely happy.

But my mother really worries about me.

"Jane, you've lost a lot of weight."

know I'm thinner than

decide to take care of Penelope myself even without being confined in a month. My mother wouldn't let me. If not for my tears and pleas, I wouldn't have been allowed to stay by her

I’m barely holding

in the mirror, I'm even afraid to look at myself. I'm afraid that it

I must hold on. If I fall apart, what

to Penelope's after I've taken care of her for a whole day. For me, the happiest thing to do

gained

the advice of the doctor in mind,

day by day. It requires a lot of money to

I have

can do is to get

giving birth to Penelope, I go to the job market for job

don't want to be a designer

soon as I pick up the brush, I would think of

would suddenly come to my mind and

shot has brought me great pain, reminding me

think about it, my heart

I could be away from Frances if I didn't think about him or ran

suddenly

shows up with

like a family

I'm carrying a lunch box, squatting on the side of the road and eating my