In My Desperate Time

After one week, I am discharged from the hospital.

During the hospital stay, I pick out a name for my daughter:

Penelope.

It means love that never dies.

But I guess I'm the only one who knows why I give her that name.

Penelope has yet to be discharged from the hospital, but now she can take her bottle herself. That's something!

The doctor gives her a checkup and tells me that if it goes well, Penelope will be transferred to the general ward in two days.

Since I can't see Penelope except in visiting hours, my mother and I go back to our hometown together.

On Monday afternoon, we rush over to see her.

Three days later, Penelope is transferred to the general ward. And I stay in the hospital so that I can take good care of her.

Seeing her increasingly round chubby cheeks, I feel extremely happy.

But my mother really worries about me.

"Jane, you've lost a lot of weight."

know I'm thinner than I was

without being confined in a month. My mother wouldn't let me. If not for my tears and pleas, I wouldn't have been allowed

barely holding

to look at myself. I'm afraid

If I

finally manages to persuade me to rest in the bed next to Penelope's after I've taken care of her for a whole day. For me, the happiest thing to do every day is to

gained from 1.6 kilograms to 2

advice of the doctor in mind, I

gets better day by day. It requires a lot of money to

I have

all I can do is to get a

giving birth to Penelope, I go to the job market for job seeking,

to be a designer

I pick up the brush, I would think

to my mind

have recurring flashbacks of the bygone days. That shot has brought me great pain, reminding me that it was me who personally destroyed

it, my heart aches so much that I

away from Frances if I didn't think

he suddenly

be exact, he shows up

a

this moment, I'm carrying a lunch box, squatting on the side of the road and eating my lunch. I look like