Love Aint Always Pretty

Fanaa

- destruction of self; "destroyed in love"

Origin: Arabic and Urdu

17

I take the supplies that I need to clean his wound and lay them out on the counter. I prop up my leg leaning it on the toilet bowl just below his crotch and placed his hand on my leg.

I.

Put.

His.

Hand.

On.

My.

Leg.

Holy hell.

His arm draping across my leg and I wish my hands would calm down and not shake while I clean his wound. As I start putting alcohol over the cut with the cotton ball clipped with the tweezers, I push all of my hair to one side so it won't intervene while I'm cleaning his wound. I was amazed that he doesn't flinch at all from the stinging pain. He just sat there and doesn't make a sound. I was even silently wincing for him but he just watches me work quietly. We didn't talk as always.

I don't know if he was looking at his hand or thinking if I was doing it right even though I know what I'm doing, or he was looking at my face. I don't know because I'm too nervous to look at him. But I try to ignore Nick even though our faces were a little closer than a while ago. I even feel his breath on my cheek every single time he exhales.

I see his other hand resting on his knee but I ignored it again. All of a sudden I can sense that one of the tips of his fingers is now touching my knee but I still try to ignore it. I reached for something from the first aid and slowly placed an antibiotic cream on his wound. Our eyes lock for three seconds the least but then I quickly looked back down on his wound. He's too close in getting too conscious with what I'm doing.

Suddenly I dropped the cream on the floor. "Shit." I cursed.

I hurriedly picked it up and acted weird before Nick. I can't tell if he's tensed as I am. But I couldn't quite figure out if he's nervous because I was this close to him or because I was hurting him with what I was doing over his wound.

Suddenly, two of the tips now touches my knee.

Now three.

I inhale again and try to grab the gauze from the kit while exhaling. I didn't look at him after grabbing it, I quickly looked back down on his wound. As much as I want to focus on his hand, making the perfect wrap around his wound, I can't cos the tips of his fingers that are on my knee isn't an accidental graze at all.

He's actually touching me.

His fingers now trailing around my knee and his hand slowly runs down the back of my leg. Holy shit. All of a sudden his forehead pressing against my neck then he sighs while squeezing my leg. I can't move. I don't want to move at all.

Breathe Savannah.

Just breathe.

I quickly manage to finish with his gauze covering around his palm but he still didn't speak. He doesn't release me too so I didn't back away. I can feel his warm breathing on my neck.

Breathe Savannah.

Slowly I feel his hand gliding go to my thigh then on my hip and now up to my waist. Shit he's holding my waist.

Breathe Savannah.

Breathe Savannah.

His fingers gripping my waist as he slowly pulls his head back. His face now close to mine and now that the space in between us is growing smaller and smaller, I think every muscle in my body somehow just forgot it's job.

"Savannah." He whispers.

I gulped.

I pulled myself up all of a sudden and escaped from his grip. He was still sitting on top of the closed toilet

"I'm done cleaning it. Uhh..." I scratch my hair. "I just need to recheck it again probably before we leave tomorrow."

him. He gently closes the door and locked it. He's

Oh god.

Oh god.

as I prop my head up to him. He pulled his wounded hand

He's wetting them.

That.

Was.

So.

Hot.

sure that Nick really wants to

now, I'm hella sure that I want to do the

slowly trailing from the back of my neck moving down against my spine and I feel some left

inch he comes closer and closer to me. And I'm pretty damn sure that nothing from the first-aid

our eyes together and boom. My lips are pressing against his. He tightens the grip

is really kissing

possessive. His lips is like a destructive hurricane for a second then a calm sea the next. His fingers digging into my hip and my

toxic and unhealthy, but I love

God, if he's not only on his pants right now and if he didn't have that wound, we could've done it

he just

kiss came to an abrupt stop and drops my leg

He stopped.

Why did he stop?

No. No. No.

again again. Kiss me again. We were

eyes were shut closed. He's obviously regretting that we kissed. He's regretting that he kissed me. Nick pushes himself off the wall and turned his back

that again to you." He

Why?

Why Nick?

Why?

stuck here in me but I want him to kiss me again so badly he could choke on his saliva. He opens the door but I don't want him to go.

I sigh.

bathroom and saw Tracy walking up the

Nick's would

my

I'm watching this chick flick in HBO. Watch it

your brother?" I

his room." she points out to the door right across the room

the couch and she started changing the

a girlfriend, Tracy?" I asked out

no. As much as I can remember, he's been single for eight

twenty four? And he's in college for god

head. "He's single. Trust me. I know he's old to still be in

I just nod.

•••••

this bed that Tracy prepared for me as I still hear the rain hitting the rooftop. Gosh, I'm going to miss my first class tomorrow. But it's okay, at least

him to be attracted to

about that deliciously perfect kiss I had with Nick. I crawled out of my bed and pulled my hair up into a messy bun before heading out of my bedroom. I

entire

I

the moment I shut the kitchen door close. I light up the kitchen and headed to the fridge then noticed that it was already 1AM. I grabbed a box of fresh milk and poured myself a glass then lean against the counter. I

you were

heard Nick's voice. I turned around as quick as I could and faced him standing right across where

not." I answered, looking

the tv on, but its shut already. The entire house is too quiet. It's too

Tracy do some girly stuff before going to sleep?" He

lip with the back of my thumb. I wanted to ask him if he's really been single for eight years. I mean, that's already far too long and every guy has needs. If he's really single then why did he

you been single Nick?"

couldn't hold

answers right away without hesitation plastered on his

kissing

have you had... At least...." I just don't know how to finish my sentence

sex?" He continued

single. You can always hook up with some girls cos of your good looks. You can easily make