Love Aint Always Pretty

Green-Eyed Monster

- jealousy

Origin: English

42

I miss Nick.

Terribly missing him

I keep on getting myself busy with my studies, exams, assignments and projects. Though time to time, Nick passes by my mind but I would quickly shake him off. It has been almost four weeks since the last time I talked to him. Almost four weeks since he dropped me home. Almost four weeks since I saw him.

I was completely being delusional that I could handle it when he'll tell me that he never wanted more cos I thought if I'd give him time maybe he would come around but he's not.

Tracy, Clyde and I would have dinner together but he wouldn't show up. Sometimes Alec would join us but Nick never did show up even though every night I hope he would. Every night I join dinner with Tracy hoping he would pop out of nowhere like he always do but he's not. He's clearly avoiding me. We both know we need this time and space from each other but the more days pass by, the more I miss him and the more I admit to myself that I can't live life without him.

I stepped out of my last class together with Dustin, my classmate and partner for this pair project to be passed on Monday. Now Dustin was the intelligent guy. He doesn't belong to any fraternity or any clubs around WSU and just like me, he loves to read books. He's a nice guy and I'm glad I was paired with him cos we'll have equal jobs for the project. We'll have intelligent things to say.

"Have you thought about the book we could use?" He asks me as we walk around the campus.

"Not yet. How about we go grab some take out first for dinner before heading straight to my dorm?" I asked.

He nods.

Dustin wasn't really a nerdy looking guy, he was actually charming and he reminds me of Channing. If we were still in high school, he belongs to the preppy club. He's a light auburn haired man with a towering height, but not as tall as Nick. Damn it, I'm mentioning Nick again. Get rid of that name from your head Savannah! Forget about that name.

"I hope you're not going out tonight?" He asks.

"No. Should we get Pizza?" I suggested and he agrees with me.

We walked to the nearest pizza place and he ordered a box for the two of us. He insisted that he'll buy the pizza so I wanted to buy our drinks instead. I wasn't really worried about being in one room with Dustin cos I know he's professional enough to keep his hands off me and his crush was Tracy so he agreed that we'll do the project in my place. We waited patiently on our table for our take out.

"I'm sure we're going to be all-nighters tonight. We need coffee too." He says while we walk inside the place.

"Don't worry. There's this thing called vending machines in the dorm." I winked.

He laughs.

I don't know if what I saw was right but I was captured by the person sitting down right across the table from where we are. Dustin's head was blocking him but I'm sure it was Nick. I'm so sure it was him cos he was looking at me. He's looking at our table. My eyes slightly dilated when I caught him looking at me with his head cocking back and looked right at my direction. After almost four weeks, I saw Nick once again and I had to be with another guy. I quickly looked back at Dustin's face even though I wasn't listening to what he was telling me.

"I just wish we could finish it tonight." He says that caught me.

"Yeah. Same."

Dustin blocking. He was with Alec and they were eating. He looks at me eagerly that made me feel like my

at Alec but I didn't dare to look back at

going to your room now?" Dustin calls

pizza and we're heading to my dorm. That's the things I used to do with Nick. I didn't realize it until now. Shit. I shyly stood up and walked with Dustin while we

we got to the dorm it was already seven in the evening. I know it's Friday but I don't feel like going anywhere tonight. I wanted to finish

I'm busy with my studies, my mind is still filled about Nick and now that I saw him once again after almost four weeks, it's getting much much worst. The way he looked at me being with another man sends pangs of guilt into my body. But I have nothing to be guilty of cos this was what he wanted, he doesn't have the right to be jealous cos we're not in a commitment. We don't

to act is like I don't care if he misjudged the

inside the elevator and headed go to my room. While the elevator song was humming, Dustin and I talked about the possible books we could use for the project. As soon as the elevator door opens both of us headed to

some rad books here Savannah." He says, complementing

smiled. "Thanks. Here's the

You could

You can have it instead."

He smiled. "Thanks."

good at this. He knows what he's saying and he can really explain it well, I think we can finish it tonight and I'll

be so concentrated on our work when my mind was also thinking about Nick. The way he looked when he saw us and heard what Dustin said is

makes us even now if he was really

•••••

I'll study on Sunday for my Wednesday's exam. I walk Dustin out and he was bummed when Tracy didn't come around. I'm sure she's already at her brother's frat party and she knows I couldn't come around cos

shirt, taking off my shorts with nothing on me but my underwear beneath it. I took off my bra the second Dustin left. I lay myself down on my bed and just stared at

be

possibly be

I gasp.

Or Nick.

Calm down.

fuck down

really don't think this could be Nick cos he's been avoiding me. I

v-line. My baggy shirt was white and I think my

are you doing here?"

He didn't answer.

you're looking for Tracy, she's

was that?" He cut

paused until I realized he

paired up for a project and we were making it

me from head to toe. "And you wore that

I looked at myself.

Shit.

see your fucking nipples from

back up

a Friday? You expect me to believe that?" He arched an eyebrow. "He stayed here for seven