Love Aint Always Pretty

Chapter 43: 43 Caraphernelia

Caraphernelia

- a broken-heart disease that occurs whenever someone leaves you, but leaves all of their things behind

43

"Tell me to leave." He says.

I didn't answer.

"Push me away. Treat me like a complete shit like how I treated you before." he says.

I didn't answer again.

He looks at me and my eyes couldn't look away. Oh Nick I can't do that. Even if you hurt me, I can't hurt you like that cos I love you and I'm too scared of pushing you away cos I know you won't come back.

"Make me leave Savannah." He added.

I shake my head, my words are not coming out from my lips and I don't know why.

"If you'll tell me to go then I'll go. I'll leave you." He continues as I feel his breath on my neck. But I shake my head once again.

His arms were wrapping around my entire body. He's hugging me close to him that I can't seem to move away cos I love our position. My arms were on my sides. I'm not hugging him back. I don't want to feel anything attached to us anymore cos I'm the only one who's going to get hurt. I'm the only one who'll cry over this.

"I just don't know how to stop myself from wanting you." His lips are moving now, kissing his way up on my ear.

"Then don't." I say.

He shakes his head. "But you don't deserve this. You don't need this."

I shut my eyes. I don't need this but I want this. I'm as confused as you Nick. I know what I want but I just don't know how long will I want it. I don't know how long I could endure this pain

His lips moving up on my jaw, giving it a quick kiss then he moves his way to my mouth. He kisses me lightly while his hands were both cupping my cheeks. My lips is opening intently for him and I kiss him back. I pull him closer to me so I could feel him against me. Here I go again, loosing it just cos he's kissing me. It's wrong cos this will hurt me more. I know after this thing, it will end ugly like the other times but I just want this so much.

He pauses and looks into my eyes as if he's looking for a stray eyelash. "I can't give you more than this." He whispers.

"I know Nick. I know." My voice is shaking and I know he notices it too.

I'm feel like crying again. Damn it.

"I just can't." He added.

But I pulled him in towards me until our lips are kissing again not caring what he said, and not caring if it will hurt me. We completely devour each other. It's been almost a month since we saw each other. Almost a month since we kissed, touched and fucked. He leads me to the bed while we were racing to get each other naked.

I take a few steps back carefully while our lips were still connected to each other. He pulls out my baggy shirt off of me and I help him unbutton his pants while he pulled out his shirt off of him too.

"Let's fuck until my feelings are gone Nick." I tell him.

he came prepared. I smiled during our kiss while I feel from the back of my knee that we were

sure?"

told you I'm not stopping this. I don't want to stop

it will

I say confidently even though it's already killing me

his erection springs free. He opens the foil and puts on the condom over his length then he slips my underwear off of me. He's over me, against me and the next

Savannah. Stop assuming and expecting for something that he can

our eyes were looking at each other. Our eyes were open. I'm not closing my eyes cos I'm trying to stop myself from loving him too much. I'm not closing my

I can tell it by the way you

a little as I clawed the bedsheets while his hand was holding my waists. I feel him gaining speed and more speed. He slams into me deeply for a second then the next he's pulling out. He's repetitive and his speed is constant. A little voice whispers to my ears that this is ugly. What we have

this is

"Don't stop." I moaned.

his tongue over

applies more pressure on my hips when he grabs my legs behind my knees and pulls it up placing it in between our chests. It's a different position from

my God!" I moaned and calling God and

too good. His lips landed on mine and

I'm shaking.

My legs are shaking.

body

shuddering and

while his lips is still on my mouth. "Savannah." He's moaning my name against

"Fuck." He curses.

and we were both trying to catch our breath. "Us. This

smile.

lie down together quietly. My

let him use me

I'm

himself that this

but one touch from Nick Wilde and it makes everything okay, like we didn't have a fight. What we have is so ugly but I still find something pretty in it

I love Nick.

a fool for him but I'd be

Only Nick.

deal with

at him. "I'm not sure how but I'll try

was right above me. He leans over and reaches for my lips, he kissed me really quickly. We looked at each

already hurting you too much, I want you to tell me when you can't take

seriously want

He didn't answer me.

great Nick. Though we don't have any label. Though we're not in a commitment. Though I don't have any hold on to you

enduring this pain? Why do you want this Savannah? You're letting me use

you Nick." My

I'll love you back? I told you Savannah, I can't give you more than this. I don't do relationships anymore. I just

my tears fall again. I just

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