Love Aint Always Pretty

Caraphernelia

- a broken-heart disease that occurs whenever someone leaves you, but leaves all of their things behind

43

"Tell me to leave." He says.

I didn't answer.

"Push me away. Treat me like a complete shit like how I treated you before." he says.

I didn't answer again.

He looks at me and my eyes couldn't look away. Oh Nick I can't do that. Even if you hurt me, I can't hurt you like that cos I love you and I'm too scared of pushing you away cos I know you won't come back.

"Make me leave Savannah." He added.

I shake my head, my words are not coming out from my lips and I don't know why.

"If you'll tell me to go then I'll go. I'll leave you." He continues as I feel his breath on my neck. But I shake my head once again.

His arms were wrapping around my entire body. He's hugging me close to him that I can't seem to move away cos I love our position. My arms were on my sides. I'm not hugging him back. I don't want to feel anything attached to us anymore cos I'm the only one who's going to get hurt. I'm the only one who'll cry over this.

"I just don't know how to stop myself from wanting you." His lips are moving now, kissing his way up on my ear.

"Then don't." I say.

He shakes his head. "But you don't deserve this. You don't need this."

I shut my eyes. I don't need this but I want this. I'm as confused as you Nick. I know what I want but I just don't know how long will I want it. I don't know how long I could endure this pain

His lips moving up on my jaw, giving it a quick kiss then he moves his way to my mouth. He kisses me lightly while his hands were both cupping my cheeks. My lips is opening intently for him and I kiss him back. I pull him closer to me so I could feel him against me. Here I go again, loosing it just cos he's kissing me. It's wrong cos this will hurt me more. I know after this thing, it will end ugly like the other times but I just want this so much.

He pauses and looks into my eyes as if he's looking for a stray eyelash. "I can't give you more than this." He whispers.

"I know Nick. I know." My voice is shaking and I know he notices it too.

I'm feel like crying again. Damn it.

"I just can't." He added.

But I pulled him in towards me until our lips are kissing again not caring what he said, and not caring if it will hurt me. We completely devour each other. It's been almost a month since we saw each other. Almost a month since we kissed, touched and fucked. He leads me to the bed while we were racing to get each other naked.

I take a few steps back carefully while our lips were still connected to each other. He pulls out my baggy shirt off of me and I help him unbutton his pants while he pulled out his shirt off of him too.

"Let's fuck until my feelings are gone Nick." I tell him.

our kiss while I feel from the back of my knee that we were close to the bed now. I lay down as I spread my legs wide for him

you sure?"

"I told you I'm not stopping this.

it will

deal with the pain." I say confidently even though it's already killing

jeans along with his boxer brief and his erection springs free. He opens the foil and puts on the condom over his length then he slips my underwear off of me.

assuming and expecting

kissing me terribly amazing but our eyes were looking at each other. Our eyes were open. I'm not closing my eyes cos I'm trying to stop myself from loving him too much. I'm not closing my eyes cos I don't want

know you want me Nick. I know you do. I can tell it by the way you look at

He slams into me deeply for a second then the next he's pulling out. He's repetitive and his speed is constant. A little voice whispers to my ears that this is ugly. What we have is purely gruesome. This is

is

"Don't stop." I moaned.

runs his tongue over my lips.

my legs behind my knees and pulls it up placing it in between our chests. It's a different position from what we usually do and

moaned and calling God and even

cos it's too much greatness inside. The movement is too good. His lips landed on mine and I was already closing my eyes. Our kiss was hard,

I'm shaking.

My legs are shaking.

entire body is

and

his lips is still on my mouth. "Savannah." He's moaning my name

"Fuck." He curses.

slowly from me and we were both trying to

smile.

and we lie down together quietly. My thoughts were trying to

let him use me cos I'm

least I'm

force himself that

one touch from Nick Wilde and it makes everything okay, like we didn't have a fight. What we have

I love Nick.

be a fool for

Only Nick.

with the pain?" He

at him. "I'm not sure how but I'll

leans over and reaches for my lips, he kissed me really quickly. We looked at each other and we were both quiet. The room was quiet and we were just boring our eyes into

can't take it

seriously want

He didn't answer me.

any label. Though we're not in a commitment. Though I don't have any hold on to you but I know this is an amazing thing."

this pain? Why do you want this Savannah? You're

you Nick." My voice is shaky

you Savannah, I can't give you more than this. I don't do relationships anymore. I just

not letting my tears fall again. I just can't let him see me