Love Aint Always Pretty

Chapter 43: 43 Caraphernelia

Caraphernelia

- a broken-heart disease that occurs whenever someone leaves you, but leaves all of their things behind

43

"Tell me to leave." He says.

I didn't answer.

"Push me away. Treat me like a complete shit like how I treated you before." he says.

I didn't answer again.

He looks at me and my eyes couldn't look away. Oh Nick I can't do that. Even if you hurt me, I can't hurt you like that cos I love you and I'm too scared of pushing you away cos I know you won't come back.

"Make me leave Savannah." He added.

I shake my head, my words are not coming out from my lips and I don't know why.

"If you'll tell me to go then I'll go. I'll leave you." He continues as I feel his breath on my neck. But I shake my head once again.

His arms were wrapping around my entire body. He's hugging me close to him that I can't seem to move away cos I love our position. My arms were on my sides. I'm not hugging him back. I don't want to feel anything attached to us anymore cos I'm the only one who's going to get hurt. I'm the only one who'll cry over this.

"I just don't know how to stop myself from wanting you." His lips are moving now, kissing his way up on my ear.

"Then don't." I say.

He shakes his head. "But you don't deserve this. You don't need this."

I shut my eyes. I don't need this but I want this. I'm as confused as you Nick. I know what I want but I just don't know how long will I want it. I don't know how long I could endure this pain

His lips moving up on my jaw, giving it a quick kiss then he moves his way to my mouth. He kisses me lightly while his hands were both cupping my cheeks. My lips is opening intently for him and I kiss him back. I pull him closer to me so I could feel him against me. Here I go again, loosing it just cos he's kissing me. It's wrong cos this will hurt me more. I know after this thing, it will end ugly like the other times but I just want this so much.

He pauses and looks into my eyes as if he's looking for a stray eyelash. "I can't give you more than this." He whispers.

"I know Nick. I know." My voice is shaking and I know he notices it too.

I'm feel like crying again. Damn it.

"I just can't." He added.

But I pulled him in towards me until our lips are kissing again not caring what he said, and not caring if it will hurt me. We completely devour each other. It's been almost a month since we saw each other. Almost a month since we kissed, touched and fucked. He leads me to the bed while we were racing to get each other naked.

I take a few steps back carefully while our lips were still connected to each other. He pulls out my baggy shirt off of me and I help him unbutton his pants while he pulled out his shirt off of him too.

"Let's fuck until my feelings are gone Nick." I tell him.

prepared. I smiled during our kiss while I feel from the back of my knee that we were close to the bed now. I lay down as I spread my legs

you sure?"

told you I'm not stopping this.

it will hurt

pain." I say confidently even though

and his erection springs free. He opens the foil and puts on the condom over his length

is just sex. I reminded myself. He's not giving you the other part of him Savannah. Stop assuming and expecting for something that he can never give you cos it's not there.

movement is slow, unlike the one from that night. I feel his tip till the end of his length as it goes in and out slowly. His mouth finds my mouth and he was kissing me terribly amazing but our eyes were looking at each other. Our eyes were open. I'm not closing my eyes cos I'm trying to stop myself from loving him

know you want me Nick. I know you do. I can tell it by

the next he's pulling out. He's repetitive and his speed is constant. A little voice whispers to my ears that this is ugly. What we have is purely gruesome. This is fucked up.

this is

"Don't stop." I moaned.

runs his tongue over my

behind my knees and pulls it up placing it in between our chests. It's

and

too good. His lips landed on mine and I was already closing my eyes. Our kiss was hard, as

I'm shaking.

My legs are shaking.

body

shuddering and so

time while his lips is still on my

"Fuck." He curses.

from me and we were both trying

smile. "I

we lie down together quietly. My thoughts were trying to

use me cos I'm

least I'm

that this wasn't more than

past few weeks but one touch from Nick Wilde and it makes everything okay, like we didn't have a fight. What we have is so ugly but I still find something pretty in

I love Nick.

know how long will I be a fool for him

Only Nick.

will you deal with the pain?"

him. "I'm not sure how but I'll try to

my lips, he kissed me really quickly. We looked at

too much, I want you to tell me when you can't take it anymore cos

you seriously want this

He didn't answer me.

label. Though we're not in a commitment. Though I don't have any hold on to you but I know this is an amazing thing." I

sighs. "Why are you enduring this pain? Why do you want this

I love you Nick." My

back? I told you Savannah, I can't give you more

choke a sob. I'm not letting my tears fall

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