Love Aint Always Pretty

Philophobia

- the fear of falling in love or emotional attachment

59

"Are you really sure about it?" I asked.

I feel Nick rubbing his thumb in circles around my shoulder as we lay down on my bed inside my room. Tracy went out to grab dinner and I was left here with a naked Nick Wilde on top of my bed.

"Does Cameron know about it?" He asked me back.

I nod. "Yeah. I told him you could possibly be going."

"What? But you already know my answer to that right? I already told you I'm not gonna go with you."

I sigh. "I know. I was saying that hoping you'd change your mind. But where are you spending it then?"

"Alec's."

My lips starts to frown and I'm sure he noticed it cos he's sighing.

"Savannah, your brother hates me." He says out all of a sudden. "Me and him couldn't be in one house for that long."

I bite my lower lip.

"I missed thanksgiving dinner with my family cos I spent it with you cos you told me so. Now you can't spend Christmas with me? And the holiday break is weeks long. I'm going to miss you. You're so unfair Nick." I say.

He kissed my temple. "We're not even dating remember? Why would you want me to meet your parents?"

I quickly pulled myself away from him abruptly and I just erupted by what he said cos it was true, we weren't together so what's the use of it.

"You know what, you're right." I spit.

"Savannah I didn't mean it that way." He pulled himself up and sat down too.

"Why am I forcing and begging you to spend the Christmas break with me at my home when you're not even my boyfriend. Good catch Nick. Thanks." I say angrily.

I slipped myself off the bed and started grabbing my clothes. "Savannah." He calls out.

I started putting back my underwear and bra on then my shorts then my shirt and then pulled my hair into a bun and just completely ignoring him.

"Savannah come on." He pulls my hand.

I stared at him for a while. "I didn't mean it that way." He says.

"I don't think I'm worthy to be introduced to your parents. You know how fucked up my past was and how complicated this thing that we have. I can't face them. I ain't worthy." He adds

"Let's not make this a big deal. I wanna spend my Christmas with you but you don't want to spend your Christmas with me, I get it. It's not that important to you anyways. It's okay." I pulled my hand away from him.

"Savannah."

I shake my head. "Don't say anything."

•••••

The following afternoon, all of my classes were done for the day. Everyone looked so excited to go home. Christmas was just around the corner, it was already the third week of December and tomorrow was the start of Christmas break but I wasn't really excited for the break. I haven't really thought about going back home even though I already promised my mom and dad that I would be there. I'm surely going to miss Nick during the holidays and how he's not going with me cos he doesn't want to. It's going to be a long break and I won't be seeing him for weeks. It's gonna kill me.

I would already feel the wind changing as it hits my skin day by day. The crisp weather was making me shiver every morning and the thick snow was starting to build up on the streets and corners of WSU. I have been wearing thick woolen layers jackets and sweaters.

"Savannah!!"

I turn around and saw Tracy rushing towards me. "I'm so going to miss you this Christmas break." She hugs me.

I hugged her back. "I'm going to miss you too Tracy."

We pulled ourselves away from each other and I could see Tracy's pinkish tip of the nose and cheeks. "And I'm sure you're going to miss Nick." She nudges.

I smiled sheepishly.

Both of us started walking together back to the dorm, arm in arm. "I haven't packed my clothes yet. Have you?" She asked me.

I shake my head. "Not yet." Because I don't want to go home. "I don't want to leave either."

"Owww you don't want to leave cos of Nick huh?" She teases again.

"Tracy." I shied.

She chuckles. "Im sure he feels the same as well. He'll be on his own cos I'm spending my Christmas at Clyde's so he'll be alone this Christmas. You won't be there to warm him up."

You've gotta stop this now." I chuckle

She laughs.

you mean to say you're not

to go with me but he didn't want to. But

sudden she rested her head on my shoulder. "Why don't you go spend the Christmas break with

would love to but my folks wants me to go home. That could've been my first Christmas together with

You know, sometimes I just want to punch Nick in the face so

accepted him after what you found about his past. You didn't judge him unlike those other people. I'm so happy he found you. I just wish

careful around him, I just couldn't stay away. I'm glad he told me about everything and how he wanted

laughs. "Right. Our mom isn't really a huge fan

I smiled.

is Nick

"Tonight with Alec."

want the Christmas break to end

thinner. You have

"Oh you

•••••

inside the room. Tracy has already left with Clyde but as I look back at this room, it's where the best things in life happened to me when I got to college in just one semester. I met my

cos I'm sure it

My eyes flared.

"Nick." I say.

He smiles. "Hi."

already left with Alec last night?"

me to spend the holidays with you

starting

and I'm sure as hell I'm going to miss you."

I could. I feel his arms wrapping around me tighter. "Thank

brother will react to

from him and kissed his lips briefly. "You couldn't

kissed my forehead. "Let me

small luggage and both of us headed out of the dorm. I can already see Cameron leaning on his car while he looked at me disappointedly. I tried to tell

really out of your mind Savannah? Really." Cameron

to you

"And you really have the guts to

You promised me you won't do anything. Please." I

"Fine.

I snapped. "I'm riding

car. Nick placed my luggage at the backseat and both of us hopped inside while I watch Cameron looking so mad at

kill me after this." He

"Don't worry too much. He can't.

slept the whole way through. Nick was letting me sleep and he didn't wake me up until we reaches outside my home. Nick

manor house." He

bag and my bag as well. Cameron

go?" I asked

house looks like a

it. Let's go. Come on." I tell him

passed by the maids who opened it for us and they were smiling at me while greeting me a welcome back

them our bags and they'll take care

from Nick and he was

staying inside the room right

They nod.

Cameron snaps. "His room is gonna be right across mine." He said

looking at him too. The maids followed Cameron's order and

Ingrid screams so loud as she runs towards

hugged her close while she does the

says while she

He's my friend." I

staying with

you to meet my little sister,

"Hi." He

him. "I hate his

I hear Cameron laughing.

he's handsome." She

pay you just to say that?" I glanced at

"Yeah. For ten bucks."

eyes flared and Ingrid laughed loud. "I'm kidding. He really didn't. I really do hate his

just smiling

Savannah!" Here comes

hugs me as if she haven't seen

me mom. Choking." I gagged then she kisses my

Look