Love Aint Always Pretty

Philophobia

- the fear of falling in love or emotional attachment

59

"Are you really sure about it?" I asked.

I feel Nick rubbing his thumb in circles around my shoulder as we lay down on my bed inside my room. Tracy went out to grab dinner and I was left here with a naked Nick Wilde on top of my bed.

"Does Cameron know about it?" He asked me back.

I nod. "Yeah. I told him you could possibly be going."

"What? But you already know my answer to that right? I already told you I'm not gonna go with you."

I sigh. "I know. I was saying that hoping you'd change your mind. But where are you spending it then?"

"Alec's."

My lips starts to frown and I'm sure he noticed it cos he's sighing.

"Savannah, your brother hates me." He says out all of a sudden. "Me and him couldn't be in one house for that long."

I bite my lower lip.

"I missed thanksgiving dinner with my family cos I spent it with you cos you told me so. Now you can't spend Christmas with me? And the holiday break is weeks long. I'm going to miss you. You're so unfair Nick." I say.

He kissed my temple. "We're not even dating remember? Why would you want me to meet your parents?"

I quickly pulled myself away from him abruptly and I just erupted by what he said cos it was true, we weren't together so what's the use of it.

"You know what, you're right." I spit.

"Savannah I didn't mean it that way." He pulled himself up and sat down too.

"Why am I forcing and begging you to spend the Christmas break with me at my home when you're not even my boyfriend. Good catch Nick. Thanks." I say angrily.

I slipped myself off the bed and started grabbing my clothes. "Savannah." He calls out.

I started putting back my underwear and bra on then my shorts then my shirt and then pulled my hair into a bun and just completely ignoring him.

"Savannah come on." He pulls my hand.

I stared at him for a while. "I didn't mean it that way." He says.

"I don't think I'm worthy to be introduced to your parents. You know how fucked up my past was and how complicated this thing that we have. I can't face them. I ain't worthy." He adds

"Let's not make this a big deal. I wanna spend my Christmas with you but you don't want to spend your Christmas with me, I get it. It's not that important to you anyways. It's okay." I pulled my hand away from him.

"Savannah."

I shake my head. "Don't say anything."

•••••

The following afternoon, all of my classes were done for the day. Everyone looked so excited to go home. Christmas was just around the corner, it was already the third week of December and tomorrow was the start of Christmas break but I wasn't really excited for the break. I haven't really thought about going back home even though I already promised my mom and dad that I would be there. I'm surely going to miss Nick during the holidays and how he's not going with me cos he doesn't want to. It's going to be a long break and I won't be seeing him for weeks. It's gonna kill me.

I would already feel the wind changing as it hits my skin day by day. The crisp weather was making me shiver every morning and the thick snow was starting to build up on the streets and corners of WSU. I have been wearing thick woolen layers jackets and sweaters.

"Savannah!!"

I turn around and saw Tracy rushing towards me. "I'm so going to miss you this Christmas break." She hugs me.

I hugged her back. "I'm going to miss you too Tracy."

We pulled ourselves away from each other and I could see Tracy's pinkish tip of the nose and cheeks. "And I'm sure you're going to miss Nick." She nudges.

I smiled sheepishly.

Both of us started walking together back to the dorm, arm in arm. "I haven't packed my clothes yet. Have you?" She asked me.

I shake my head. "Not yet." Because I don't want to go home. "I don't want to leave either."

"Owww you don't want to leave cos of Nick huh?" She teases again.

"Tracy." I shied.

She chuckles. "Im sure he feels the same as well. He'll be on his own cos I'm spending my Christmas at Clyde's so he'll be alone this Christmas. You won't be there to warm him up."

You've gotta stop this now."

She laughs.

mean to say you're not spending Christmas with Nick?" I

her head. "I told him to go with me but he didn't want to. But I'm going back to

sudden she rested her head on my shoulder. "Why don't you go spend the Christmas break with

me to go home. That could've been my first Christmas together

punch Nick in the

that you do love my brother Savannah even after your complicated relationship. You accepted him after what you found about his past. You didn't judge him unlike those other people. I'm so happy he found you. I just wish he can see

Even if people were telling me to be careful around him, I just couldn't stay away. I'm glad he told me about everything and

mom isn't

I smiled.

is Nick leaving?" I

"Tonight with Alec."

sigh inwardly. I just want the Christmas break to end

"You've gotten thinner. You have

laughs. "Oh you

•••••

the room. Tracy has already left with Clyde but as I look back at this room, it's where the best things in life happened to me when I got to college

I hurriedly walked to it cos I'm sure it was Cameron now.

My eyes flared.

"Nick." I say.

He smiles. "Hi."

already left

for me to spend the holidays

lips starting to

didn't want you to feel sad the entire break and I'm sure as hell

hugged Nick as tight as I could. I feel his arms wrapping around me tighter.

to this but I

and kissed his lips briefly. "You

my forehead. "Let me grab your

headed out of the dorm. I can already see Cameron leaning on his car while he looked at me disappointedly. I

out of your

you too,

"And you really have the guts to

me you won't do anything. Please."

me. "Fine. Get inside

"I'm

at the backseat and both of us hopped

will really kill me after this."

chuckled. "Don't worry too much. He

sleep and he didn't wake

a manor house." He

he was bringing his bag and my bag as well. Cameron looks over at us then walks

I

looks like a hotel,

on." I tell him as I drag

it for us and they were smiling at me while greeting

just give them our bags and they'll take

and he was still looking around

room right across

They nod.

is gonna

stare at him angrily and Nick was looking at him too.

screams so loud as she

her and hugged her close while she does the same. "Oh

you too!" She says while she looks up

He's my

he staying with

meet my little sister,

"Hi." He

him. "I

I hear Cameron laughing.

he's handsome." She

you just to say that?" I glanced at Cameron and he looks at me as if

"Yeah. For ten bucks."

flared and Ingrid laughed loud. "I'm kidding. He really didn't. I

just

Here comes

She hugs me as if she haven't seen me for

me mom. Choking." I gagged then she kisses my

baby girl so much. Look