Love Aint Always Pretty

Quatervois

- a crossroad; a critical decision or turning point in one's life.

Origin: French

58

NICK'S POV

SEVEN YEARS AGO

I ran to them and tried to hold Catherine as she groans for pain. I shot her. I'm crying hard and there were more blood. So much blood. Catherine's blood stained her dress as it runs down on my hands.

"Call for help! Call for help!" I yelled at Hans.

Hans stands away and quickly pulled out his phone. I'm shaking. I'm shaking as I hold Catherine on my arms. She smiles weakly as she squints her eyes cos of the pain.

"Catherine.... I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry." I repeated the same exact words.

"Shhh... It's not your fault Nick. Don't... Arghh.. Don't blame yourself." Catherine says while grunting.

She wipes my tears. "It's not your fault love."

I shake my head in disagreement.

"I'm sorry." I cried.

"My dad won't let me tell you this... But Nick... Y-you're a father now." She holds my shaking hand then placed it on top of her bump.

"This is your baby." She says.

She smiles while tears were crawling out from her eyes. "Our baby."

My head bent down and more tears were coming out from my eyes. I hate myself. I hate myself for what I did.

"If I don't survive..." Catherine says with such shakiness in her voice.

"Don't say that." I begged.

She smiled weakly. "Please... Please save him Nick. Save our baby. Save him for me Nick." She says while crying.

"Promise me you will." She takes a grip on my hand.

I nod and kissed her forehead as I hold her close to my chest.

I shot Catherine.

I shot Catherine.

I put our baby in critical condition.

"Live for me. Live for me and our baby Catherine. I need you. I need both of you. Please live for me. For us. Please. I'm begging you please stay." I kiss her hand.

She smiles and nods. "I will."

As soon as help came, I went with Hans in the ambulance and both of us neither talked to each other. When we arrived at the hospital, I was still holding Catherine's hand while she fell unconscious. I would always kiss her hand and my tears just won't stop from falling. I'm so scared of what I have done. I don't want to lose her. I don't want to lose out baby.

"Catherine please be okay. Catherine. Catherine you promised me." I cried.

My hands were still shaking while I hold her hands close to my lips. My lips are trembling too. I kissed her knuckles as my tears were streaming down my face. My tears are just unstoppable. Catherine was unconscious now. She went unconscious during the drive. My heart is racing. Fear is gathering inside my body. I'm scared. I'm so scared of losing her. Hans was also crying but he hasn't talked to me during the entire drive to the hospital.

"Sir I'm sorry but you can't come through this door. Sir please step back." The nurse said to me as he pushed me away.

I ran my fingers through my hair and pulled my hair back. I'm so mad at myself. I shot her. I almost put her to death. Oh god please save Catherine and save my son. Please save our son. Suddenly, I see Alec from the corner of my eyes who ran towards me and Hans.

as soon as you texted me. Where's Catherine?" Alec asked me as he

I couldn't answer.

is she?" Alec

He fucking shot Catherine!" Hans yelled

Alec pulled him away from me while some female patients screamed when they saw it. Nurses and some other hospital staff ran towards

dude!"

know about this, you're fucked! If something

just stay away from here

something will happen to Catherine, I would blame myself too. I let Alec take me somewhere else cos people were looking at me. My clothes are stained with Catherine's dried blood and my hands are stained too.

what the fuck did you do?! Nick! God damn it Nick look at me!" Alec

moved

Did you really shot Catherine?" Alec

to

of your mind? Didn't you even think you'll end up in jail if you'll do it?!" Alec throws his

witness to shut up. He paid the police station and the detective to close the case!! How am I not gonna do

put Catherine in

that was my baby, Alec." I cried for more as

"W-what?"

Alec. "That baby inside her is mine Alec! It's

down right in front me. "It's

my tears kept falling and falling. He quickly hugged me and I fell into Alec's arms. He rubbed my spine and I just cried. I didn't care how weak I looked in front of everybody's eyes but I just can't take what I've

don't know what to do if... if she's... Oh god." I muffled

scared Alec. I'm

at me. "Everything's gonna be okay. Catherine's a

••••

back, I saw Catherine's family -- her parents and Jenna.

okay?" Jenna asked as tears

will. She will be ok. Your sister won't leave

me and moved his head to where I was standing. "You have the

They looked

sorry." I say

my face and I almost fell on the floor. Alec catches me but then Mr. Forster

that's enough!" Jenna

know what you did? Do they know you paid for everyone to keep the case close? Did you

"You bastard!"

me again. Mr. Forster quickly pulled himself away from me and pushed me away. The doctor stepped out of the room and my heart just feels heavier until he pulls his surgical mask down. Hans was holding

daughter?" Mrs. Forster asked with a little

sorry."

No.

No!

say that!"

god." Mrs. Forster

dead on arrival. We are truly sorry."

my god Catherine. My baby girl. My

it tore my heart out from my chest when the doctor said that. I killed her. I killed Catherine. I killed the one I love. I killed her. I'm a killer. She died because

is numb but racing in circles. This isn't making any sense of what was happening. This

Mrs. Forster cries

as she cries on

the baby?" Hans

head back

child?"

guts to claim

know if I was ready

make it as well." The doctor answered. "We

cried for more. I feel no wisp of relief as my mind drifts further and further into the abyss of complete sorrow. Catherine. My baby. My son. We were suppose to be a family. We were suppose to be happy. We

so sorry." I

you. The police might be coming here Cmon.

my head sideways. "I killed her Alec. I killed both of them. They