Love Aint Always Pretty

Quatervois

- a crossroad; a critical decision or turning point in one's life.

Origin: French

58

NICK'S POV

SEVEN YEARS AGO

I ran to them and tried to hold Catherine as she groans for pain. I shot her. I'm crying hard and there were more blood. So much blood. Catherine's blood stained her dress as it runs down on my hands.

"Call for help! Call for help!" I yelled at Hans.

Hans stands away and quickly pulled out his phone. I'm shaking. I'm shaking as I hold Catherine on my arms. She smiles weakly as she squints her eyes cos of the pain.

"Catherine.... I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry." I repeated the same exact words.

"Shhh... It's not your fault Nick. Don't... Arghh.. Don't blame yourself." Catherine says while grunting.

She wipes my tears. "It's not your fault love."

I shake my head in disagreement.

"I'm sorry." I cried.

"My dad won't let me tell you this... But Nick... Y-you're a father now." She holds my shaking hand then placed it on top of her bump.

"This is your baby." She says.

She smiles while tears were crawling out from her eyes. "Our baby."

My head bent down and more tears were coming out from my eyes. I hate myself. I hate myself for what I did.

"If I don't survive..." Catherine says with such shakiness in her voice.

"Don't say that." I begged.

She smiled weakly. "Please... Please save him Nick. Save our baby. Save him for me Nick." She says while crying.

"Promise me you will." She takes a grip on my hand.

I nod and kissed her forehead as I hold her close to my chest.

I shot Catherine.

I shot Catherine.

I put our baby in critical condition.

"Live for me. Live for me and our baby Catherine. I need you. I need both of you. Please live for me. For us. Please. I'm begging you please stay." I kiss her hand.

She smiles and nods. "I will."

As soon as help came, I went with Hans in the ambulance and both of us neither talked to each other. When we arrived at the hospital, I was still holding Catherine's hand while she fell unconscious. I would always kiss her hand and my tears just won't stop from falling. I'm so scared of what I have done. I don't want to lose her. I don't want to lose out baby.

"Catherine please be okay. Catherine. Catherine you promised me." I cried.

My hands were still shaking while I hold her hands close to my lips. My lips are trembling too. I kissed her knuckles as my tears were streaming down my face. My tears are just unstoppable. Catherine was unconscious now. She went unconscious during the drive. My heart is racing. Fear is gathering inside my body. I'm scared. I'm so scared of losing her. Hans was also crying but he hasn't talked to me during the entire drive to the hospital.

"Sir I'm sorry but you can't come through this door. Sir please step back." The nurse said to me as he pushed me away.

I ran my fingers through my hair and pulled my hair back. I'm so mad at myself. I shot her. I almost put her to death. Oh god please save Catherine and save my son. Please save our son. Suddenly, I see Alec from the corner of my eyes who ran towards me and Hans.

you texted me. Where's Catherine?" Alec asked me as he placed his hand on

I couldn't answer.

she?" Alec

shot her!! He fucking shot Catherine!" Hans

me while some female patients screamed when they saw it. Nurses and some other hospital staff ran towards us and started trying to stop the commotion cos Hans was raging his anger out at me. He tried to throw himself again

dude!" Alec

know about this, you're fucked! If something bad will happen to Catherine, I swear to god you're going

away from here for a second. Cmon."

somewhere else cos people were looking at me. My clothes are stained with Catherine's dried blood and

did you do?! Nick! God damn it Nick

moved to

the fuck Nick?! Did you really shot

It wasn't suppose to be her." I

mean to say you really wanted to kill Hans?! Are you out of your mind? Didn't you even think you'll end up in jail if you'll do

with it cos he's filthy rich! He paid the witness to shut up. He paid the police station and the detective to close the case!! How am I

now look who you shot? You put Catherine in critical condition! What if it will harm Hans'

knees, "Catherine said that was my baby, Alec." I cried for more as I covered my face

"W-what?"

"That baby

in front me. "It's your

nodded as my tears kept falling and falling. He quickly hugged me and I fell into Alec's arms. He rubbed my spine and I just cried. I didn't care

don't know what to do without Catherine, man. I just don't know what to do if... if she's... Oh god."

Alec.

pulled himself away and looked at me. "Everything's gonna be okay.

••••

to where I left Hans and as soon as I got back, I saw Catherine's family -- her parents and

will Catie be okay?" Jenna asked

Your sister won't leave us." Mrs.

where I was standing. "You have the

I slowly walked towards them. They looked at me with anger. So much anger. Even Jenna looks

sorry." I

my face and I almost fell

enough!" Jenna

everyone to keep the case close? Did you even say you were sorry

"You bastard!"

feels heavier until he pulls his surgical mask down. Hans

daughter?" Mrs. Forster asked with a

terribly sorry." The

No.

No!

say that!" Mr. Forster

god." Mrs. Forster falls

everything we could to revive her but... She's dead on arrival. We are truly

Catherine. My baby girl. My

tore my heart out from my chest when the doctor said that. I killed her. I killed Catherine. I killed the one I love. I killed her. I'm a killer. She

shoulder as my tears blurs my vision. I shake my head in disbelief. Their cries are even making me more feel my deep pain. My mind is numb but racing in circles. This isn't making any sense of what was happening. This

daughter." Mrs.

screams as she cries on

about the baby?" Hans

back up. My baby

child?" Hans

has the guts to claim

stared at the doctor and I don't know if I

The doctor answered. "We are

drifts further and further into the abyss of complete sorrow. Catherine. My baby. My son. We were suppose to be a family. We were suppose to be happy. We were suppose to be together. He was suppose to call me

so sorry."

police might be coming here Cmon. Let's go.

my head sideways. "I killed her Alec. I killed