Love Aint Always Pretty

Quatervois

- a crossroad; a critical decision or turning point in one's life.

Origin: French

58

NICK'S POV

SEVEN YEARS AGO

I ran to them and tried to hold Catherine as she groans for pain. I shot her. I'm crying hard and there were more blood. So much blood. Catherine's blood stained her dress as it runs down on my hands.

"Call for help! Call for help!" I yelled at Hans.

Hans stands away and quickly pulled out his phone. I'm shaking. I'm shaking as I hold Catherine on my arms. She smiles weakly as she squints her eyes cos of the pain.

"Catherine.... I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry." I repeated the same exact words.

"Shhh... It's not your fault Nick. Don't... Arghh.. Don't blame yourself." Catherine says while grunting.

She wipes my tears. "It's not your fault love."

I shake my head in disagreement.

"I'm sorry." I cried.

"My dad won't let me tell you this... But Nick... Y-you're a father now." She holds my shaking hand then placed it on top of her bump.

"This is your baby." She says.

She smiles while tears were crawling out from her eyes. "Our baby."

My head bent down and more tears were coming out from my eyes. I hate myself. I hate myself for what I did.

"If I don't survive..." Catherine says with such shakiness in her voice.

"Don't say that." I begged.

She smiled weakly. "Please... Please save him Nick. Save our baby. Save him for me Nick." She says while crying.

"Promise me you will." She takes a grip on my hand.

I nod and kissed her forehead as I hold her close to my chest.

I shot Catherine.

I shot Catherine.

I put our baby in critical condition.

"Live for me. Live for me and our baby Catherine. I need you. I need both of you. Please live for me. For us. Please. I'm begging you please stay." I kiss her hand.

She smiles and nods. "I will."

As soon as help came, I went with Hans in the ambulance and both of us neither talked to each other. When we arrived at the hospital, I was still holding Catherine's hand while she fell unconscious. I would always kiss her hand and my tears just won't stop from falling. I'm so scared of what I have done. I don't want to lose her. I don't want to lose out baby.

"Catherine please be okay. Catherine. Catherine you promised me." I cried.

My hands were still shaking while I hold her hands close to my lips. My lips are trembling too. I kissed her knuckles as my tears were streaming down my face. My tears are just unstoppable. Catherine was unconscious now. She went unconscious during the drive. My heart is racing. Fear is gathering inside my body. I'm scared. I'm so scared of losing her. Hans was also crying but he hasn't talked to me during the entire drive to the hospital.

"Sir I'm sorry but you can't come through this door. Sir please step back." The nurse said to me as he pushed me away.

I ran my fingers through my hair and pulled my hair back. I'm so mad at myself. I shot her. I almost put her to death. Oh god please save Catherine and save my son. Please save our son. Suddenly, I see Alec from the corner of my eyes who ran towards me and Hans.

I came here as soon as you texted me. Where's Catherine?" Alec asked me as he placed his

I couldn't answer.

she?" Alec asked

fucking shot her!! He fucking shot Catherine!" Hans yelled

him away from me while some female patients screamed when they saw it. Nurses and some other hospital staff ran towards us and started trying to

off dude!" Alec pushed

gonna pay for this Nick! Once Catherine's father will know about this, you're fucked! If something bad will happen to

just stay away from here for

if something will happen to Catherine, I would blame myself too. I let Alec take me somewhere else cos people were looking at me. My clothes are stained with Catherine's dried blood and my hands are stained too. I'm crying too

the fuck did you do?! Nick! God damn it Nick look at me!"

moved

the fuck Nick?! Did you really shot Catherine?"

wasn't suppose to

mind? Didn't you even think you'll end up

got away with it cos he's filthy rich! He paid the witness to shut up. He paid the police station and the detective to close the case!! How am I not

in critical condition! What if it will

my knees, "Catherine said that was my baby, Alec." I cried for more as I covered my face with

"W-what?"

baby inside her is

down right in front me. "It's your

into Alec's arms. He rubbed my spine and I just cried. I didn't care how weak I looked in front of everybody's

I just don't know what to do if... if she's... Oh god." I muffled weakly as my voice

so scared Alec.

away and looked at me. "Everything's

••••

to where I left Hans and as soon as I got back, I saw Catherine's family -- her parents and Jenna. They're all crying and looked worried

Jenna asked as tears fall on her

sister won't leave us."

Forster saw me and moved his head to where I was standing. "You have

slowly walked towards them. They looked at me with anger. So much anger. Even Jenna looks mad

sorry." I

landed on my face and I almost fell on the floor. Alec catches me but then

that's enough!" Jenna

you did? Do they know you paid for everyone to keep the case

"You bastard!"

from me and pushed me away. The doctor stepped out of the room and my heart just feels heavier until he pulls his surgical mask down. Hans was holding Jenna close to him while Mr. & Mrs. Forster were holding onto each other's arm. I'm standing here,

daughter?" Mrs. Forster

terribly sorry." The doctor

No.

No!

that!" Mr.

my god." Mrs. Forster falls onto

dead on arrival.

baby girl. My

the doctor said that. I killed her.

disbelief. Their cries are even making me more feel my deep pain. My mind is numb but racing in

daughter." Mrs. Forster

screams as she cries on Hans'

the baby?"

pulled my head back up. My

child?" Hans

has the guts to claim its

know if I

didn't make it as well." The

and just cried for more. I feel no wisp of relief as my mind drifts further and further into the abyss of complete sorrow. Catherine. My baby. My son. We were suppose to be a family. We were suppose to be happy. We were suppose to be together. He

I'm so

to you. The police might

I killed both of them. They died cos of