Love Aint Always Pretty

Quatervois

- a crossroad; a critical decision or turning point in one's life.

Origin: French

58

NICK'S POV

SEVEN YEARS AGO

I ran to them and tried to hold Catherine as she groans for pain. I shot her. I'm crying hard and there were more blood. So much blood. Catherine's blood stained her dress as it runs down on my hands.

"Call for help! Call for help!" I yelled at Hans.

Hans stands away and quickly pulled out his phone. I'm shaking. I'm shaking as I hold Catherine on my arms. She smiles weakly as she squints her eyes cos of the pain.

"Catherine.... I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry." I repeated the same exact words.

"Shhh... It's not your fault Nick. Don't... Arghh.. Don't blame yourself." Catherine says while grunting.

She wipes my tears. "It's not your fault love."

I shake my head in disagreement.

"I'm sorry." I cried.

"My dad won't let me tell you this... But Nick... Y-you're a father now." She holds my shaking hand then placed it on top of her bump.

"This is your baby." She says.

She smiles while tears were crawling out from her eyes. "Our baby."

My head bent down and more tears were coming out from my eyes. I hate myself. I hate myself for what I did.

"If I don't survive..." Catherine says with such shakiness in her voice.

"Don't say that." I begged.

She smiled weakly. "Please... Please save him Nick. Save our baby. Save him for me Nick." She says while crying.

"Promise me you will." She takes a grip on my hand.

I nod and kissed her forehead as I hold her close to my chest.

I shot Catherine.

I shot Catherine.

I put our baby in critical condition.

"Live for me. Live for me and our baby Catherine. I need you. I need both of you. Please live for me. For us. Please. I'm begging you please stay." I kiss her hand.

She smiles and nods. "I will."

As soon as help came, I went with Hans in the ambulance and both of us neither talked to each other. When we arrived at the hospital, I was still holding Catherine's hand while she fell unconscious. I would always kiss her hand and my tears just won't stop from falling. I'm so scared of what I have done. I don't want to lose her. I don't want to lose out baby.

"Catherine please be okay. Catherine. Catherine you promised me." I cried.

My hands were still shaking while I hold her hands close to my lips. My lips are trembling too. I kissed her knuckles as my tears were streaming down my face. My tears are just unstoppable. Catherine was unconscious now. She went unconscious during the drive. My heart is racing. Fear is gathering inside my body. I'm scared. I'm so scared of losing her. Hans was also crying but he hasn't talked to me during the entire drive to the hospital.

"Sir I'm sorry but you can't come through this door. Sir please step back." The nurse said to me as he pushed me away.

I ran my fingers through my hair and pulled my hair back. I'm so mad at myself. I shot her. I almost put her to death. Oh god please save Catherine and save my son. Please save our son. Suddenly, I see Alec from the corner of my eyes who ran towards me and Hans.

as soon as you texted me. Where's Catherine?" Alec asked me as he placed his hand on my

I couldn't answer.

is she?" Alec asked

shot her!! He fucking shot Catherine!" Hans yelled and ran towards

he was doing to me. I groaned as he started hitting me but Alec pulled him away from me while some female patients screamed when they saw it. Nurses and some other hospital staff ran

off dude!" Alec pushed

know about this, you're fucked! If something bad will happen to Catherine,

stay away from here for a second. Cmon." Alec

let Alec take me somewhere else cos people were looking at me. My clothes are

did you do?! Nick! God damn it Nick look at me!" Alec moved

moved to

Nick?! Did you

wasn't suppose to be

to kill Hans?! Are you out of your mind? Didn't you even think you'll end up in jail if you'll do it?!" Alec

witness to shut up. He paid the police station and the detective to close the case!! How am

look who you shot? You put Catherine in critical condition! What if it will harm Hans'

said that was my baby, Alec." I cried for more as I covered my face with my

"W-what?"

head to Alec. "That baby inside her is

right in front

just nodded as my tears kept falling and falling. He quickly hugged me and I fell into Alec's arms. He rubbed my spine and I just cried. I didn't care how weak I looked in front of

I just don't know what to do if... if she's... Oh god." I muffled weakly as my voice was shaking

Alec. I'm

and looked at me. "Everything's gonna be okay. Catherine's

••••

Hans and as soon as I got back, I saw Catherine's family -- her parents and Jenna. They're all crying and looked

okay?" Jenna asked as

sister won't leave us." Mrs. Forster says while she kissed

me and moved his head to where I was standing. "You have the guts

down and I slowly walked towards them. They

sorry." I

and I almost fell on the floor. Alec catches me but then Mr. Forster

that's enough!"

family know what you did? Do they know you paid for everyone to keep the case close? Did you even say you were sorry for killing my mother, Mr.

"You bastard!"

the room and my heart just feels heavier until he pulls his surgical mask down. Hans was holding

my daughter?" Mrs. Forster asked with a little

sorry." The doctor

No.

No!

say that!"

god." Mrs. Forster falls onto her

could to revive her but... She's dead on arrival.

god Catherine. My baby girl. My Catherine." Mrs.

said that. I killed her. I killed Catherine. I killed the one I love. I killed her. I'm a killer. She died because of me. I

more feel my deep pain. My mind is numb but racing in circles. This isn't making any sense of what was happening. This isn't real. This couldn't be real.

Mrs. Forster cries

screams as she cries

about the baby?"

my head back up. My baby

child?" Hans

has the guts to claim its

stared at the doctor and I don't know if I was ready for what

as well." The doctor

abyss of complete sorrow. Catherine. My baby. My son. We were suppose to be a family.

I'm so

police might

"I killed her Alec. I killed both of