Love Aint Always Pretty

Quatervois

- a crossroad; a critical decision or turning point in one's life.

Origin: French

58

NICK'S POV

SEVEN YEARS AGO

I ran to them and tried to hold Catherine as she groans for pain. I shot her. I'm crying hard and there were more blood. So much blood. Catherine's blood stained her dress as it runs down on my hands.

"Call for help! Call for help!" I yelled at Hans.

Hans stands away and quickly pulled out his phone. I'm shaking. I'm shaking as I hold Catherine on my arms. She smiles weakly as she squints her eyes cos of the pain.

"Catherine.... I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry." I repeated the same exact words.

"Shhh... It's not your fault Nick. Don't... Arghh.. Don't blame yourself." Catherine says while grunting.

She wipes my tears. "It's not your fault love."

I shake my head in disagreement.

"I'm sorry." I cried.

"My dad won't let me tell you this... But Nick... Y-you're a father now." She holds my shaking hand then placed it on top of her bump.

"This is your baby." She says.

She smiles while tears were crawling out from her eyes. "Our baby."

My head bent down and more tears were coming out from my eyes. I hate myself. I hate myself for what I did.

"If I don't survive..." Catherine says with such shakiness in her voice.

"Don't say that." I begged.

She smiled weakly. "Please... Please save him Nick. Save our baby. Save him for me Nick." She says while crying.

"Promise me you will." She takes a grip on my hand.

I nod and kissed her forehead as I hold her close to my chest.

I shot Catherine.

I shot Catherine.

I put our baby in critical condition.

"Live for me. Live for me and our baby Catherine. I need you. I need both of you. Please live for me. For us. Please. I'm begging you please stay." I kiss her hand.

She smiles and nods. "I will."

As soon as help came, I went with Hans in the ambulance and both of us neither talked to each other. When we arrived at the hospital, I was still holding Catherine's hand while she fell unconscious. I would always kiss her hand and my tears just won't stop from falling. I'm so scared of what I have done. I don't want to lose her. I don't want to lose out baby.

"Catherine please be okay. Catherine. Catherine you promised me." I cried.

My hands were still shaking while I hold her hands close to my lips. My lips are trembling too. I kissed her knuckles as my tears were streaming down my face. My tears are just unstoppable. Catherine was unconscious now. She went unconscious during the drive. My heart is racing. Fear is gathering inside my body. I'm scared. I'm so scared of losing her. Hans was also crying but he hasn't talked to me during the entire drive to the hospital.

"Sir I'm sorry but you can't come through this door. Sir please step back." The nurse said to me as he pushed me away.

I ran my fingers through my hair and pulled my hair back. I'm so mad at myself. I shot her. I almost put her to death. Oh god please save Catherine and save my son. Please save our son. Suddenly, I see Alec from the corner of my eyes who ran towards me and Hans.

soon as you texted me. Where's Catherine?" Alec asked me

I couldn't answer.

she?" Alec asked

her!! He fucking shot Catherine!" Hans yelled and ran

collar and pushed me hard against the wall. I let him do what he was doing to me. I groaned as he started hitting me but Alec pulled him away from me while some female patients screamed when they saw it. Nurses and some other hospital staff ran towards us and started trying to stop the commotion cos Hans was raging his anger out at me. He tried to throw himself again at

off dude!"

Nick! Once Catherine's father will know about this, you're fucked! If something bad will happen

go Nick. Let's just stay away from here for a second. Cmon."

would blame myself too. I let Alec take me somewhere else cos people were looking at me. My clothes are stained with Catherine's dried blood and my hands are stained

do?! Nick! God damn it Nick look

eyes moved

the fuck Nick?! Did you really

wasn't suppose to

Are you out of your mind? Didn't you even think you'll end up in jail if you'll do it?!" Alec

paid the witness to shut up. He paid the police station and the detective to close the

in

that was my baby, Alec."

"W-what?"

baby inside her is

in front me.

falling. He quickly hugged me and I fell into Alec's arms. He rubbed my spine and I just cried. I didn't care how weak I looked

know what to do without Catherine, man. I just don't know what to do if... if she's... Oh god." I muffled weakly as my voice was

Alec.

himself away and looked at me. "Everything's gonna be okay. Catherine's a

••••

back to where I left Hans and as soon as I got back, I saw Catherine's family -- her parents and Jenna. They're all crying

Catie be okay?" Jenna asked as tears

ok. Your sister won't

moved his head to where I was standing. "You have the guts to stay

down and I slowly walked towards them. They looked at me

so sorry." I say

on my face and I almost fell on the floor. Alec catches me but then Mr. Forster

that's enough!" Jenna

to keep the case close? Did you even say you were sorry

"You bastard!"

out of the room and my heart just feels heavier until he pulls his surgical mask down. Hans was holding Jenna close to him while Mr. & Mrs. Forster were holding

daughter?" Mrs. Forster asked with a little

sorry." The

No.

No!

say that!" Mr. Forster

god." Mrs. Forster falls onto her

we could to revive her but... She's dead on arrival. We are truly sorry." The doctor lowers his

Catherine. My baby girl. My Catherine." Mrs. Forster

chest when the doctor said that. I killed her.

me more feel my deep pain. My mind is numb but racing in circles. This isn't

Mrs. Forster cries

screams as she cries on

the baby?" Hans

head back up. My baby

my child?" Hans

the guts

at the doctor and I don't know if I was ready for what he was

make it as well." The

mind drifts further and further into the abyss of complete sorrow. Catherine. My baby. My son. We were suppose to be a

so sorry." I

police might be coming here Cmon. Let's go. Cmon." Alec

her Alec. I