Love Aint Always Pretty

Quatervois

- a crossroad; a critical decision or turning point in one's life.

Origin: French

58

NICK'S POV

SEVEN YEARS AGO

I ran to them and tried to hold Catherine as she groans for pain. I shot her. I'm crying hard and there were more blood. So much blood. Catherine's blood stained her dress as it runs down on my hands.

"Call for help! Call for help!" I yelled at Hans.

Hans stands away and quickly pulled out his phone. I'm shaking. I'm shaking as I hold Catherine on my arms. She smiles weakly as she squints her eyes cos of the pain.

"Catherine.... I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry." I repeated the same exact words.

"Shhh... It's not your fault Nick. Don't... Arghh.. Don't blame yourself." Catherine says while grunting.

She wipes my tears. "It's not your fault love."

I shake my head in disagreement.

"I'm sorry." I cried.

"My dad won't let me tell you this... But Nick... Y-you're a father now." She holds my shaking hand then placed it on top of her bump.

"This is your baby." She says.

She smiles while tears were crawling out from her eyes. "Our baby."

My head bent down and more tears were coming out from my eyes. I hate myself. I hate myself for what I did.

"If I don't survive..." Catherine says with such shakiness in her voice.

"Don't say that." I begged.

She smiled weakly. "Please... Please save him Nick. Save our baby. Save him for me Nick." She says while crying.

"Promise me you will." She takes a grip on my hand.

I nod and kissed her forehead as I hold her close to my chest.

I shot Catherine.

I shot Catherine.

I put our baby in critical condition.

"Live for me. Live for me and our baby Catherine. I need you. I need both of you. Please live for me. For us. Please. I'm begging you please stay." I kiss her hand.

She smiles and nods. "I will."

As soon as help came, I went with Hans in the ambulance and both of us neither talked to each other. When we arrived at the hospital, I was still holding Catherine's hand while she fell unconscious. I would always kiss her hand and my tears just won't stop from falling. I'm so scared of what I have done. I don't want to lose her. I don't want to lose out baby.

"Catherine please be okay. Catherine. Catherine you promised me." I cried.

My hands were still shaking while I hold her hands close to my lips. My lips are trembling too. I kissed her knuckles as my tears were streaming down my face. My tears are just unstoppable. Catherine was unconscious now. She went unconscious during the drive. My heart is racing. Fear is gathering inside my body. I'm scared. I'm so scared of losing her. Hans was also crying but he hasn't talked to me during the entire drive to the hospital.

"Sir I'm sorry but you can't come through this door. Sir please step back." The nurse said to me as he pushed me away.

I ran my fingers through my hair and pulled my hair back. I'm so mad at myself. I shot her. I almost put her to death. Oh god please save Catherine and save my son. Please save our son. Suddenly, I see Alec from the corner of my eyes who ran towards me and Hans.

here as soon as you texted me. Where's Catherine?" Alec asked me as he placed his hand on my

I couldn't answer.

is she?"

shot Catherine!" Hans yelled and

grabbed my collar and pushed me hard against the wall. I let him do what he was doing to me. I groaned as he started hitting me but Alec pulled him away from me while some female patients screamed when they saw it. Nurses and some other hospital staff ran towards us and started trying to stop the commotion cos Hans was raging his anger out at me. He tried to throw himself again at me but he was blocked and pulled

off dude!"

Catherine's father will know about this, you're fucked! If something bad will happen to Catherine, I swear to god you're going to fucking jail!" Hans

away from here for a second. Cmon." Alec pulls

were looking

God damn it Nick look at me!" Alec moved me

moved to

Nick?! Did you really shot

It wasn't suppose to be her." I

You mean to say you really wanted to kill Hans?! Are you out of your mind? Didn't you even think you'll end up in jail if you'll do it?!" Alec throws his tantrum at

but he got away with it cos he's filthy rich! He paid the witness to shut up. He paid the police station and the detective to close the case!! How am I not

shot? You put Catherine in

said that was my baby, Alec." I

"W-what?"

pulled my head to Alec. "That baby inside

squat down right in front me. "It's your

spine and I just cried. I didn't care how weak I looked in front of

do without Catherine, man. I just don't know what to do if... if she's... Oh god." I muffled weakly as my voice was

so scared Alec. I'm

looked at me. "Everything's gonna be

••••

I left Hans and as soon as I got back, I saw Catherine's family

okay?" Jenna asked as tears fall on

will. She will be ok. Your sister won't leave us." Mrs. Forster

Forster saw me and moved his head to where I was standing.

They looked at me with anger. So much anger. Even Jenna looks mad at

sorry." I

Mr. Forster's fist landed on my face and I almost fell on the floor. Alec catches me

that's enough!" Jenna

know what you did? Do they know you paid for everyone to keep the case close? Did you even say you were sorry for killing my mother, Mr. Forster?"

"You bastard!"

the room and my heart just feels heavier until he pulls his surgical mask down. Hans was holding Jenna close to him while Mr. & Mrs. Forster were holding onto each

Forster asked

sorry." The

No.

No!

that!" Mr.

god." Mrs. Forster falls

her but... She's dead on arrival. We

my god Catherine. My baby

her. I killed Catherine. I killed the one I love. I killed her. I'm a killer. She died because of

more feel my deep pain. My mind is numb but racing in circles. This isn't making any sense of what was happening. This isn't real. This couldn't be real. This isn't happening to us.

daughter." Mrs.

as she

the baby?" Hans

pulled my head back up. My

child?"

seriously has the guts to claim

know if I was ready

it as well." The doctor answered.

more. I feel no wisp of relief as my mind drifts further and further into the abyss of complete sorrow. Catherine. My baby. My son. We were suppose to be a family.

so sorry." I

Before they'll do something to you. The police

shake my head sideways. "I killed her Alec. I killed both of them. They died cos