Love Aint Always Pretty

Quatervois

- a crossroad; a critical decision or turning point in one's life.

Origin: French

58

NICK'S POV

SEVEN YEARS AGO

I ran to them and tried to hold Catherine as she groans for pain. I shot her. I'm crying hard and there were more blood. So much blood. Catherine's blood stained her dress as it runs down on my hands.

"Call for help! Call for help!" I yelled at Hans.

Hans stands away and quickly pulled out his phone. I'm shaking. I'm shaking as I hold Catherine on my arms. She smiles weakly as she squints her eyes cos of the pain.

"Catherine.... I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry." I repeated the same exact words.

"Shhh... It's not your fault Nick. Don't... Arghh.. Don't blame yourself." Catherine says while grunting.

She wipes my tears. "It's not your fault love."

I shake my head in disagreement.

"I'm sorry." I cried.

"My dad won't let me tell you this... But Nick... Y-you're a father now." She holds my shaking hand then placed it on top of her bump.

"This is your baby." She says.

She smiles while tears were crawling out from her eyes. "Our baby."

My head bent down and more tears were coming out from my eyes. I hate myself. I hate myself for what I did.

"If I don't survive..." Catherine says with such shakiness in her voice.

"Don't say that." I begged.

She smiled weakly. "Please... Please save him Nick. Save our baby. Save him for me Nick." She says while crying.

"Promise me you will." She takes a grip on my hand.

I nod and kissed her forehead as I hold her close to my chest.

I shot Catherine.

I shot Catherine.

I put our baby in critical condition.

"Live for me. Live for me and our baby Catherine. I need you. I need both of you. Please live for me. For us. Please. I'm begging you please stay." I kiss her hand.

She smiles and nods. "I will."

As soon as help came, I went with Hans in the ambulance and both of us neither talked to each other. When we arrived at the hospital, I was still holding Catherine's hand while she fell unconscious. I would always kiss her hand and my tears just won't stop from falling. I'm so scared of what I have done. I don't want to lose her. I don't want to lose out baby.

"Catherine please be okay. Catherine. Catherine you promised me." I cried.

My hands were still shaking while I hold her hands close to my lips. My lips are trembling too. I kissed her knuckles as my tears were streaming down my face. My tears are just unstoppable. Catherine was unconscious now. She went unconscious during the drive. My heart is racing. Fear is gathering inside my body. I'm scared. I'm so scared of losing her. Hans was also crying but he hasn't talked to me during the entire drive to the hospital.

"Sir I'm sorry but you can't come through this door. Sir please step back." The nurse said to me as he pushed me away.

I ran my fingers through my hair and pulled my hair back. I'm so mad at myself. I shot her. I almost put her to death. Oh god please save Catherine and save my son. Please save our son. Suddenly, I see Alec from the corner of my eyes who ran towards me and Hans.

Where's Catherine?" Alec asked me

I couldn't answer.

she?" Alec

He fucking shot Catherine!" Hans yelled and

he started hitting me but Alec pulled him away from me while some female patients screamed when they saw it. Nurses and some other hospital staff ran towards us and started trying to stop the commotion cos Hans was raging his anger out at me. He tried to throw himself

dude!"

about this, you're fucked! If something

Nick. Let's just stay away from here for a second. Cmon." Alec pulls

blame myself too. I let Alec take me somewhere else cos people were looking at me. My clothes are stained with Catherine's

it Nick look at me!" Alec moved me

moved to

the fuck Nick?! Did you really shot Catherine?"

wasn't suppose to be

say you really wanted to kill Hans?! Are you out of your mind? Didn't you even think you'll end up in jail if you'll do it?!" Alec throws

mom but he got away with it cos he's filthy rich! He paid the witness to shut up. He paid the police station and the detective to

put Catherine in

was my baby, Alec." I cried for more as I covered my face with my

"W-what?"

to Alec. "That baby inside her is

squat down right in front

I fell into Alec's arms. He rubbed my spine and I just cried. I didn't care how weak I looked

to do without Catherine, man. I just don't know what to do if... if she's... Oh god." I muffled weakly as

Alec. I'm so

himself away and looked at me. "Everything's gonna be okay.

••••

as soon as I got back, I saw Catherine's family --

be okay?" Jenna asked as tears fall on her

sister won't leave us." Mrs. Forster says while

his head to where I was standing. "You have the guts to stay

I slowly walked towards them. They looked at

sorry." I

Mr. Forster's fist landed on my face and I almost fell

that's enough!" Jenna

for everyone to keep the case close? Did you even say you were sorry for killing my

"You bastard!"

away. The doctor stepped out of the room and my heart just feels heavier until he pulls his surgical mask down. Hans was holding Jenna close to him while Mr. & Mrs. Forster were holding onto each other's arm. I'm standing here,

my daughter?" Mrs. Forster asked with a

terribly sorry." The doctor

No.

No!

that!" Mr. Forster

god." Mrs. Forster falls onto her

to revive her but... She's dead on arrival. We

My baby girl.

world shattered into thousands of pieces and it tore my heart out from my chest when the doctor said that. I killed her. I killed Catherine. I killed

deep pain. My mind is numb but racing in circles. This isn't making any sense of what

daughter." Mrs. Forster

screams as she cries on Hans'

about the baby?" Hans

my head back up.

my child?" Hans

the guts to

the doctor and I don't know if I was ready for what he

as well." The doctor answered. "We

My baby. My son. We were suppose to

so sorry."

go. Before they'll do something to you. The police might be coming here Cmon.

head sideways. "I killed her Alec. I killed