Love Aint Always Pretty

Quatervois

- a crossroad; a critical decision or turning point in one's life.

Origin: French

58

NICK'S POV

SEVEN YEARS AGO

I ran to them and tried to hold Catherine as she groans for pain. I shot her. I'm crying hard and there were more blood. So much blood. Catherine's blood stained her dress as it runs down on my hands.

"Call for help! Call for help!" I yelled at Hans.

Hans stands away and quickly pulled out his phone. I'm shaking. I'm shaking as I hold Catherine on my arms. She smiles weakly as she squints her eyes cos of the pain.

"Catherine.... I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry." I repeated the same exact words.

"Shhh... It's not your fault Nick. Don't... Arghh.. Don't blame yourself." Catherine says while grunting.

She wipes my tears. "It's not your fault love."

I shake my head in disagreement.

"I'm sorry." I cried.

"My dad won't let me tell you this... But Nick... Y-you're a father now." She holds my shaking hand then placed it on top of her bump.

"This is your baby." She says.

She smiles while tears were crawling out from her eyes. "Our baby."

My head bent down and more tears were coming out from my eyes. I hate myself. I hate myself for what I did.

"If I don't survive..." Catherine says with such shakiness in her voice.

"Don't say that." I begged.

She smiled weakly. "Please... Please save him Nick. Save our baby. Save him for me Nick." She says while crying.

"Promise me you will." She takes a grip on my hand.

I nod and kissed her forehead as I hold her close to my chest.

I shot Catherine.

I shot Catherine.

I put our baby in critical condition.

"Live for me. Live for me and our baby Catherine. I need you. I need both of you. Please live for me. For us. Please. I'm begging you please stay." I kiss her hand.

She smiles and nods. "I will."

As soon as help came, I went with Hans in the ambulance and both of us neither talked to each other. When we arrived at the hospital, I was still holding Catherine's hand while she fell unconscious. I would always kiss her hand and my tears just won't stop from falling. I'm so scared of what I have done. I don't want to lose her. I don't want to lose out baby.

"Catherine please be okay. Catherine. Catherine you promised me." I cried.

My hands were still shaking while I hold her hands close to my lips. My lips are trembling too. I kissed her knuckles as my tears were streaming down my face. My tears are just unstoppable. Catherine was unconscious now. She went unconscious during the drive. My heart is racing. Fear is gathering inside my body. I'm scared. I'm so scared of losing her. Hans was also crying but he hasn't talked to me during the entire drive to the hospital.

"Sir I'm sorry but you can't come through this door. Sir please step back." The nurse said to me as he pushed me away.

I ran my fingers through my hair and pulled my hair back. I'm so mad at myself. I shot her. I almost put her to death. Oh god please save Catherine and save my son. Please save our son. Suddenly, I see Alec from the corner of my eyes who ran towards me and Hans.

Where's Catherine?" Alec asked

I couldn't answer.

is she?"

shot her!! He fucking shot Catherine!" Hans

away from me while some female patients screamed when they saw it. Nurses and some other hospital staff ran towards us and started trying to stop the commotion cos Hans was raging his anger out at

dude!"

If something bad will happen to Catherine, I swear to god you're

go Nick. Let's just stay away from here for a second. Cmon."

were looking at

Nick! God damn it Nick look at me!" Alec

moved to

fuck Nick?! Did you

wasn't suppose to be her." I

kill Hans?! Are you out of your mind? Didn't you even think you'll end up in jail if you'll do it?!" Alec throws his tantrum

mother, Alec!! He killed my mom but he got away with it cos he's filthy rich! He paid the witness to shut up. He paid the police station and the detective to close the case!!

look who you shot? You put Catherine in critical condition! What if it will harm Hans'

was my baby, Alec." I cried for more as I covered my face

"W-what?"

Alec. "That baby inside her is mine

squat down right in front me. "It's

and falling. He quickly hugged me and I fell into Alec's arms. He rubbed my spine and I

don't know what to do without Catherine, man. I just don't know what to do if... if she's... Oh god."

so scared Alec. I'm so

away and looked at me. "Everything's

••••

and as soon as I got back, I saw Catherine's family -- her parents and Jenna. They're all crying and looked worried

okay?" Jenna asked as

will be ok. Your sister won't leave us." Mrs. Forster says while she kissed

me and moved his head to where I was standing. "You

stands from where he was sitting down and I slowly walked towards them. They looked at me with anger. So much anger. Even

so sorry."

split of a second, Mr. Forster's fist landed on my face and I almost fell on the

that's enough!"

know what you did? Do they know you paid for everyone to keep the case close? Did you even say you were sorry for killing my mother, Mr. Forster?" I

"You bastard!"

he was about to hit me again. Mr. Forster quickly pulled himself away from me and pushed me away. The doctor stepped out of the room and my heart just feels heavier until he pulls his surgical mask down. Hans was holding Jenna close to him while Mr. & Mrs. Forster were holding onto each other's arm. I'm standing

my daughter?" Mrs. Forster asked with a

sorry."

No.

No!

that!" Mr. Forster

god." Mrs. Forster

tried everything we could to revive her but... She's dead on arrival. We are

my god Catherine. My baby girl. My

I killed her. I killed Catherine. I killed the one I love. I killed her. I'm a killer. She died because of

deep pain. My mind is numb but racing in

Mrs. Forster cries

she cries on

the baby?"

head back up. My

child?" Hans

has the guts to claim its

if I was ready

The doctor answered.

fell on the ground and just cried for more. I feel no wisp of relief as my mind drifts further and further into the abyss of complete sorrow. Catherine. My baby. My son. We were suppose to be a family. We were suppose to be happy. We were suppose

I'm so sorry." I

they'll do something to you. The police might be coming here Cmon.

I killed both of