Love Aint Always Pretty

Perpetuity

- the state of continuing forever or for a very long time

95

NICK'S POV

At first, I never actually believed in happy endings that it exist because based from my past, I thought my happy ending ended when Catherine died. I shut myself out from people and never have opened myself to anyone except my sister and Alec. Sometimes I shut my sister and Alec too. I knew from the very beginning that reality and fantasy are two different things.

But as I stand in the doorway of our bedroom and watch Savannah sleep, I knew my happy ending is already happening. She doesn't know I do this, but I do it every morning because she's the reason why I start my day, no matter how busy I am in the office.

It wasn't the first incident that I've done this, the first time was the morning that I first met her. I couldn't remember much from that night before because I was wasted as hell but the only thing I actually remembered was her and how I was lying on the floor of Tracy's dorm room, and Savannah was stroking my hair, telling me her name wasn't Catherine that it was Sa-van-nah. It's funny right now as I remember it, I guess it wasn't that funny that night cos I was really drunk.

When I woke up the following morning in Tracy's room, for some unknown reason, I honestly couldn't get her out of my head.

I thought she was just a dream until I saw her sleeping on top of her side of the bed. I watched her sleep for a while. I watched as her chest goes up and down as she breathes. I watched every corner of her body. I watched her eagerly that I was afraid of what I felt that moment, because the first time I laid my eyes on her was something I never felt when I first laid my eyes on Catherine. It scared me to death because as I stood on the side of her bed, she brought back so many feelings that had been foreign to me over the past eight years.

It frightened me that's why I didn't invite her to the frat party that night but still she showed up so beautifully wearing such simple outfit.

I always thought she looked like an angel, so beautiful and simple.

The second Savannah opened her eyes and looked at me, I knew she was going to be the one who'll bring me back to life but the only thing that was the problem to me was I didn't want to be brought back to life since I was comfortable protecting myself from experiencing what I experienced in the past. I'm frightened I might go through it again and I've tried to control my feelings that I was experiencing towards Savannah that day. But I couldn't control them if I'd wanted to. I know because I tried like hell. I tried so hard but I still failed.

When I finally kissed her at my old house back in town, I knew from that moment that I wanted much more than just kissing her. I wanted her mouth, her tongue, her hands, her body, her mind and the only reason stopping me was that I felt I was also wanting her heart. I was also wanting her love. I was also wanting her to feel what I was feeling and I was scared by it.

I was the best at lying to myself and convincing that I was strong enough to have her physically because I didn't want to her hurt again and I was sure as hell that I didn't want to hurt Savannah too.

I did anyways.

A lot of times.

More than once, even.

Now I plan to spend my lifetime making it up to her for what I've done. And when I think about how many times I've left her before, I guess I was pretty terrible for doing that without telling her after making love to her.

I think love is the biggest and strongest word there is in life. When you fall in love, you learn to forgive and forget all the mistakes they've done, you learn to put others first, you learn to make friends with the people you don't really like because they're related to your significant other and you learn to make sacrifices for yourself and for other people, heck you even learn to shut yourself out from people and push people away but then eventually you'll cave in to the feelings because it's stronger than what you think. So I guess, love is a big word.

Love...

I never actually thought love could find a way to me and Savannah.

I sit on the edge of the bed and I think she felt the bed shift because she opens her but not all the way. She pulls the bed covers over her head and rolls over.

"Wake up sleepyhead. We've got a plane to catch." I say.

"Hmmm..." she hums.

"Lissa is already whining downstairs. Come on babe. Let's go." I continued.

We've been together for over a year now still not married yet, and it's still difficult for me to wake her up early in the morning because she wasn't always a morning person.

"Savannah... wake up." I kiss the area of the blanket covering her ear.

She doesn't move nor answer me but she was groaning. I pulled the covers and slide in behind her, wrapping myself around her. Then her groan started becoming a soft moan.

"Babe..."

No answer.

"Babe c'mon we have a plane to catch."

That gets her attention cos she rolls over cautiously and pulls the covers from over our heads.

"What the hell do you mean we have a plane to catch?" She asked.

I grinned.

"Nick?" She asked.

when her sleep gets cuts off because I wake

up, get dressed, let's go. We're heading somewhere. Don't worry about your luggage, I already

as she gazes at the clock behind me. "It's not even

I nodded and smiled.

how rare it is for me to have an entire day off without thinking about work so this better

and give her a quick kiss. "It will be if you're punctual. I forgot to greet

morning." She

up and pat the mattress several times

get out, get out, get out of our bed." I began to sing this One Direction song that Lissa

throws the covers off of her. "I guess Lissa had been influencing you in such

I smile at her.

at me right

stay irritated with you

The door quickly opens.

awake?" Lissa barged

hard to wake her up but I did

you you needed my help daddy.

laugh and Savannah

the boss." I tell

to take a shower." Savannah stands and walks

morning kiss?"

began to kiss Savannah's cheek continuously and the both giggled. Savannah have a peck on Lissa's forehead and she briefly hugs her mommy. "Good morning

to you too

my arm around Savannah's shoulder. "Why don't you go take a bath now? We can't be

kissed my cheek. "But since I love you, I'll take a

as

love you too."

Lissa

"Yes sweetheart?"

it ready?" She asked

up. "Everything is set. Don't

Lissa nods happily.

•••••

take a look outside the window and good thing the sun still hasn't showed up. No ray of sunlight hasn't even broken through the clouds just yet, and there's not very much to see at this point but Lissa kept gazing outside. She's really excited. We've only

are you always looking outside the window?"

Lissa watches her mommy

The captain's door was open and I intentionally did it, because of something I want the three of us to

at Savannah, and she's staring back at me, watching me eagerly with her beautiful appreciative smile

nods. "Of course. My heart is pounding and I'm sort of excited for what

smiled at her,

plane begins to move forward, Lissa was observing every move of the plane while me and Savannah were smiling at each other because she's as focused just like me. She keeps on gazing out when the rollers

why we took off earlier?"

looking at the 4AM clouds, and then looks back at me. "Because Lissa has

to see. "The first time

nods, but her eyes are curious

the sunrise from up here and then I remembered

"Me?" Savannah asked.

I promised myself to bring you with me next

it beautiful daddy?" Lissa

at her, "It's not something that I can describe myself, baby." I point out of

you just have to experience

their attention back to the window. Lissa unbuckled her seatbelt and rushed to Savannah's lap, her tiny palms pressed against the glass, and for five minutes straight, the two of them didn't move a

their windows and had triumphant smiles plastered on their

don't know how this is even possible but I fall even more in love

filled with sunlight, Savannah finally turns back and faced me. Her eyes are filled with little tears, and she doesn't speak a word. She just reaches for my hand and I quickly unbuckled my seatbelt and transferred

says against my lips before pressing

back while Lissa's attention was still towards

love you too Savannah."

•••••

moving and I quickly knew that we just landed