Love Aint Always Pretty

Perpetuity

- the state of continuing forever or for a very long time

95

NICK'S POV

At first, I never actually believed in happy endings that it exist because based from my past, I thought my happy ending ended when Catherine died. I shut myself out from people and never have opened myself to anyone except my sister and Alec. Sometimes I shut my sister and Alec too. I knew from the very beginning that reality and fantasy are two different things.

But as I stand in the doorway of our bedroom and watch Savannah sleep, I knew my happy ending is already happening. She doesn't know I do this, but I do it every morning because she's the reason why I start my day, no matter how busy I am in the office.

It wasn't the first incident that I've done this, the first time was the morning that I first met her. I couldn't remember much from that night before because I was wasted as hell but the only thing I actually remembered was her and how I was lying on the floor of Tracy's dorm room, and Savannah was stroking my hair, telling me her name wasn't Catherine that it was Sa-van-nah. It's funny right now as I remember it, I guess it wasn't that funny that night cos I was really drunk.

When I woke up the following morning in Tracy's room, for some unknown reason, I honestly couldn't get her out of my head.

I thought she was just a dream until I saw her sleeping on top of her side of the bed. I watched her sleep for a while. I watched as her chest goes up and down as she breathes. I watched every corner of her body. I watched her eagerly that I was afraid of what I felt that moment, because the first time I laid my eyes on her was something I never felt when I first laid my eyes on Catherine. It scared me to death because as I stood on the side of her bed, she brought back so many feelings that had been foreign to me over the past eight years.

It frightened me that's why I didn't invite her to the frat party that night but still she showed up so beautifully wearing such simple outfit.

I always thought she looked like an angel, so beautiful and simple.

The second Savannah opened her eyes and looked at me, I knew she was going to be the one who'll bring me back to life but the only thing that was the problem to me was I didn't want to be brought back to life since I was comfortable protecting myself from experiencing what I experienced in the past. I'm frightened I might go through it again and I've tried to control my feelings that I was experiencing towards Savannah that day. But I couldn't control them if I'd wanted to. I know because I tried like hell. I tried so hard but I still failed.

When I finally kissed her at my old house back in town, I knew from that moment that I wanted much more than just kissing her. I wanted her mouth, her tongue, her hands, her body, her mind and the only reason stopping me was that I felt I was also wanting her heart. I was also wanting her love. I was also wanting her to feel what I was feeling and I was scared by it.

I was the best at lying to myself and convincing that I was strong enough to have her physically because I didn't want to her hurt again and I was sure as hell that I didn't want to hurt Savannah too.

I did anyways.

A lot of times.

More than once, even.

Now I plan to spend my lifetime making it up to her for what I've done. And when I think about how many times I've left her before, I guess I was pretty terrible for doing that without telling her after making love to her.

I think love is the biggest and strongest word there is in life. When you fall in love, you learn to forgive and forget all the mistakes they've done, you learn to put others first, you learn to make friends with the people you don't really like because they're related to your significant other and you learn to make sacrifices for yourself and for other people, heck you even learn to shut yourself out from people and push people away but then eventually you'll cave in to the feelings because it's stronger than what you think. So I guess, love is a big word.

Love...

I never actually thought love could find a way to me and Savannah.

I sit on the edge of the bed and I think she felt the bed shift because she opens her but not all the way. She pulls the bed covers over her head and rolls over.

"Wake up sleepyhead. We've got a plane to catch." I say.

"Hmmm..." she hums.

"Lissa is already whining downstairs. Come on babe. Let's go." I continued.

We've been together for over a year now still not married yet, and it's still difficult for me to wake her up early in the morning because she wasn't always a morning person.

"Savannah... wake up." I kiss the area of the blanket covering her ear.

She doesn't move nor answer me but she was groaning. I pulled the covers and slide in behind her, wrapping myself around her. Then her groan started becoming a soft moan.

"Babe..."

No answer.

"Babe c'mon we have a plane to catch."

That gets her attention cos she rolls over cautiously and pulls the covers from over our heads.

"What the hell do you mean we have a plane to catch?" She asked.

I grinned.

"Nick?" She asked.

sleep gets cuts off

go. We're heading somewhere. Don't worry about your luggage, I already told the maids

gazes at the clock behind me. "It's not even

I nodded and smiled.

is for me to have an entire day off without

a quick kiss. "It will be if you're

morning." She

mattress several times with the

bed." I began to sing this One Direction song that Lissa had been listening to every single day that has

of her. "I guess Lissa had been influencing you in such

I smile at her.

you're not mad at me right now." I

you when you're this giddy, Nick."

The door quickly opens.

awake?"

wake her up but I

told you you needed my help daddy. Come on mom! Take a bath

and Savannah

the boss." I

take a shower." Savannah

morning kiss?" Savannah

cheek continuously and the both giggled. Savannah have a peck on Lissa's forehead and she briefly

morning to

walked to them and placed my arm around Savannah's shoulder. "Why don't

smiles and kissed my cheek. "But since I love

watch her as she struts her

you too." I

daddy." Lissa called

"Yes sweetheart?"

ready?"

up. "Everything is set. Don't be too obvious,

Lissa nods happily.

•••••

good thing the sun still hasn't showed up. No ray of sunlight hasn't even broken through the clouds just yet, and there's not very much to see at this point but Lissa kept gazing

what are you always looking

her mommy buckles

we'll be taking off any minute now. The captain's door was open and I intentionally did it,

at Savannah, and she's staring back at me, watching me eagerly with her beautiful appreciative smile spread across her

"Of course. My heart is pounding and I'm sort

at her,

move forward, Lissa was observing every move of the plane while me and Savannah were smiling at each other because she's as focused just like

why we took

the 4AM clouds,

see. "The first time I got

nods, but her

the sunrise from up here and then I remembered

"Me?" Savannah asked.

bring you with me next

it beautiful daddy?"

I can describe myself,

have to experience it for

to Savannah's lap, her tiny palms pressed against the glass, and for five minutes straight, the two of them didn't move a muscle. They watched it the entire time together, Lissa would point out of the window and Savannah would nod

outside of their windows and

this is even possible but I fall even more

plane is completely filled with sunlight, Savannah finally turns back and faced me. Her eyes are filled with little tears, and she doesn't speak a word. She just reaches

you." She says against my lips before pressing

kissed her back while Lissa's

you too Savannah."

•••••

to stop moving and I quickly knew that we