Masters & Lovers Box Set Three

Charlotte

“Toast, Master?” I offer the rack, stacked with crisp, golden and gently steaming slices. He’s sitting part-dressed to head for work, in a clean white shirt. A curl of dark hair shows where the top button is open.

He’s not paying attention. His gaze is so far away. Wherever he is, he’s not with me or Michael in our beautiful mountain home.

“Master? Would you like some toast?”

His eyes refocus, swinging to me. He smiles, but the smile is pale and wan. “No, thank you, Charlotte. Just coffee is fine.”

“More coffee then? I’ll make another pot.”

“Thank you, yes.” And he looks away again.

He looks…. lost….

I make the coffee, grinding extra beans so it’s strong, the way he likes it. As I return to the table, Michael is saying, “So, what’s it today, James? Anything interesting?” He seems not to hear. “James?”

He turns to Michael. “I’m sorry. What was that?”

“Anything interesting happening today? You’re usually full of whatever’s happening down on that City Project. What’s the excitement at the moment?”

He sips coffee, cradling the mug. “Um, not sure. I may need to go on-site to see the progress of the groundworks on D-site.”

I inject some enthusiasm into my tone. “You said I could tag along, Master. Perhaps get some practice in, helping with the survey work.”

“Did I? Then of course you can come.” But my enthusiasm isn’t mirrored. There’s no zest in his voice.

*****

In the hall, he stands at the mirror, looping his tie. He fumbles at the knot, curses quietly and starts over. Again, he botches the job. This time his swearing is louder.

“Here, let me do it, Master.”

He turns to face me and I square him a little by the shoulders, then slip the tie back around the neck of his shirt and knot it for him. Then I turn him back again to face the mirror. “Alright?”

His reflection speaks to mine. “Perfect. Thank you, Charlotte.”

“Master…”

His head tilts. “Yes?”

“Master… you are loved. You know that don’t you? I love you. Michael loves you too. Differently of course, but he does. And I’d say that Richard and Beth love you too.”

The reflection colours up and the eyes drop. The Adam’s apple bobs. He looks up again, a faint spectre of humour in his eyes. “You know, that may be the first time you’ve ever said that to me.”

“Times and places, Master. Times and places.”

He turns, his face close to mine, the sweetness of his breath on my skin. His lids lowering, he leans in close, pressing his lips against mine. Then, “And you too are loved. Wholly, and always.”

“I know that, Master.”

*****

- Twenty-Six Years

sage and blue metal. On the cobalt horizon, container ships like floating

and rises. Low cloud hangs in veils of grey and blue but over the headland it thins, sunlight painting pale fingers over

What does it take?

do I

Not money…

What does she want?

?

Freedom…

…

does that even

…

…

All those books…

She wants to travel…

…

…

What would I do?

…

I’ve seen plenty…

could make my

get

… Roving reporter....

See the world...

… with her

Like she’s always wanted...

She'd love it...

…

Blessingmoors?

…

really be a

do what it says on

…

Go the same places…

Do the same things…

War zones…

Refugees…

out there needing

…

Would she like that?