"We understand death only after it has placed its hands on someone we love."- Anne L.de Stael 

 "Mia, wake up!" Whispered a soft, hushed voice.

In fact, it was so hushed I almost had thought I was just hearing things.That was until out of nowhere a loud door slam pierced through the silent hallway from the room right next to ours, creating enough force to vibrate the old wooden floors which we were laying on.

"Mia! Please wake up! I'm scared!"Panic flooding the little girl's voice.

l automatically knew who it was that was calling for me.

"Holly, where are you?" I whispered back, trying to look through the pitch-black room.

The foster people we live with don't allow us to have the lights on after 7:30.

Trust me, I learned that lesson the hard way.

You see, if you have the lights on after the restricted time, you'll get punished.

The punishments are plainly decided on how drunk Mrs. and Mr. Rockwell were that night.

On a good night, punishments usually consist of not allowed to go to sleep until they decide they worked you lang enough or going a couple of nights without dinner, sometimes both.

But if they start drinking the punishments become more violent.

Mrs. Rockwell has never psychically abused any of the kids here but better yet she sits back and watches her husband do all the work, smiling.

I remember the first time James Rockwell hit me, I wanted to drop to my knees and cry out for my mother, but I didn't.

You see when you've been in the system as long as I have you learn how to control showing your emotions.

Because people like James and Martha thrive on seeing you break down, they get off on it.

"Come here, you stupid bitch!"

Mrs.Rockwell sneered at me.

"No, I'm sorry, whatever I did wrong I won't do it again! I promise!"

I begged her.

"Damn right you won't do it again!"

Martha laughed, the malevolent smile on her face sent horrid chills up my spine.

thin body

get your fat ass up here,

allowed one shower a week, and pulled as hard as she could, pulling my head closer

when I heard Mr.Rockwell's heavy

my lungs

to hold the

than mine,

walked over to me a crooked smile started to form on his face, showing

thought the smell of alcohol was nauseating

well, what do

wrist in his

I could

her room after curfew, honey.What should

Martha's voice sounded entertained.

to go

the hard slapped that

silently winced as my face began to

room after 9 oclock, you

voice echoed

told me I wasn't allowed

angrier because his free hand, that wasn't death gripping my

disgusting feeling made

hand left the sides of my stomach

huh? beg me, beg me

tighter around my neck, squeezing

lungs were pleading

wanted to cry, I wanted

black was when I was younger, my mother would lay out blankets

me that for every star my eye could see, that it was the soul

the people they love back on earth,

than balls of gas, I

now I've never felt

"Over here."

voice filled the

tipped toed around all the other sleeping kids, laying on the

the Rockwell's care, she's been here

for two

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