Surrogate For Alpha Dom

Ella

When my panic attack finally eases and I can breathe again, I peek up at Sinclair,

tears burning in my eyes. “I’m sorry.” I murmur weakly, hating that my stupid brain

ruined our moment.

“Why the hell are you apologizing?” Sinclair counterS, still petting me. He hadn’t let

me go even once as I weathered the storm of anxiety and despair, only pulling the

pillows and blankets of my nest closer so I would feel secure.

“Because I screwed everything up.” I explain thickly. “I was supposed to be helping

you and I fell apart at a mere suggestion.” Shame is coursing through my veins, not

because of the panic itself, but because of what it might mean: that I’m too fragile, too

broken, to be Sinclair’s Luna.

“Ella, don’t be silly.” He replies, and though I understand he didn’t mean to dismiss my

feelings, the words still sting. Sinclair opens his mouth to continue, undoubtedly with

some trite placation about how ‘these things happen’ or similar, but I cut him off.

“I’m not being silly!” I insist with exasperation.

What good am I as a mate if I can’t even be there for you when you need me? I get to

lie around all day doing nothing while you’re out saving the world. You are constantly

taking care of me on top of all your other Worries, and I never give you anything in

return. It’s not right. You shouldn’t have to comfort me when you’re the one who needs

to decompress!” I burst, throwing up my hands. “All this time we’ve been convinced

that I can’t be your Luna because I’m human, but we never even considered that I

might not be up to the task, even as a wolf.” My voice is shaking with fresh tears, and I

can’t look at Sinclair as I continue, “But now… what more evidence do we need?”

Sinclair doesn’t make a sound, and when I look at him, he’s positively fuming. His

heavy breathing and black expression tell me he’s barely holding onto his temper, and

the hands which were caressing me mere moments ago are now stationary and stiff. I

watch as he struggles to quell his anger, even though I’m not sure what I said to

infuriate him this way. After a second he shakes his head, apparently surrendering the

battle. “I need a minute, Ella.” He finally growls, “I need to go for a run, but I don’t want

you unless you’re

out of the

of the bed. “This is

from reality. If you’re angry with me, then

the Consequences of

of the nest, stalking forward with

panic attack, Ella. If you want to

I need to let my wolf out and run off

the door, bypassing me

turns back, his wolf glowing in his

rumbles

when I’m out of control this way. If you need

ask the guards.”

that, Sinclair disappears, and I can hear his wolf

staring after him. Im shaking again, and I’m trying

a fresh bout of weeping. I

me of selfishly

refrain.

whimpering like a pup

– if more feral. She’s begging me to do

for falling apart when I was supposed to be

my wolf seems much more distraught about

after him! She begs. I can’t stand it,

reply. Even if I wasn’t on bed

Besides, he’ll only be angrier if

house.

though she’s still beside herself. I

a little ball and pulling the blankets over my head. I

angry with me in the past. Hey, I

wolf after some thought. Why weren’t you this upset when he accused

when he spanked me or

times were different. She argues. I was

angry in the past it’s been protective.

first time he’s walked

I assure her, but there’s

exact same thing.

back, even if he only

all, he lives here. But somewhere deep down inside of me there’s a

I’ll

not worth the trouble,

pastures? My wolf presses.

I shout at her. His entire life is here. His

integrity to abandon his

in her paws. It wouldn’t be the first time. He told us

pup, especially with humans – but our parents

us – what if he’s finally figured

this was the

clamping my hands over my

inside my head. “

stop

wrenches from my chest, and the more