Surrogate For Alpha Dom

Ella

When my panic attack finally eases and I can breathe again, I peek up at Sinclair,

tears burning in my eyes. “I’m sorry.” I murmur weakly, hating that my stupid brain

ruined our moment.

“Why the hell are you apologizing?” Sinclair counterS, still petting me. He hadn’t let

me go even once as I weathered the storm of anxiety and despair, only pulling the

pillows and blankets of my nest closer so I would feel secure.

“Because I screwed everything up.” I explain thickly. “I was supposed to be helping

you and I fell apart at a mere suggestion.” Shame is coursing through my veins, not

because of the panic itself, but because of what it might mean: that I’m too fragile, too

broken, to be Sinclair’s Luna.

“Ella, don’t be silly.” He replies, and though I understand he didn’t mean to dismiss my

feelings, the words still sting. Sinclair opens his mouth to continue, undoubtedly with

some trite placation about how ‘these things happen’ or similar, but I cut him off.

“I’m not being silly!” I insist with exasperation.

What good am I as a mate if I can’t even be there for you when you need me? I get to

lie around all day doing nothing while you’re out saving the world. You are constantly

taking care of me on top of all your other Worries, and I never give you anything in

return. It’s not right. You shouldn’t have to comfort me when you’re the one who needs

to decompress!” I burst, throwing up my hands. “All this time we’ve been convinced

that I can’t be your Luna because I’m human, but we never even considered that I

might not be up to the task, even as a wolf.” My voice is shaking with fresh tears, and I

can’t look at Sinclair as I continue, “But now… what more evidence do we need?”

Sinclair doesn’t make a sound, and when I look at him, he’s positively fuming. His

heavy breathing and black expression tell me he’s barely holding onto his temper, and

the hands which were caressing me mere moments ago are now stationary and stiff. I

watch as he struggles to quell his anger, even though I’m not sure what I said to

infuriate him this way. After a second he shakes his head, apparently surrendering the

battle. “I need a minute, Ella.” He finally growls, “I need to go for a run, but I don’t want

you unless you’re

out

the bed. “This is exactly

you’re angry with me, then be angry! Let me

Consequences

nest, stalking forward with

had a panic attack, Ella. If you want to be upset

let my wolf out and run off this temper.” He turns

the door,

moment, he turns back, his wolf glowing in his

He rumbles angrily, “I don’t believe in

when I’m out of control this way. If you

ask the guards.”

Sinclair disappears, and I can hear his wolf

staring after him. Im shaking

into a fresh bout of weeping. I consider calling

the way she accused me of selfishly unloading my problems

refrain.

wolf is pacing anxiously in my head, whimpering like a pup and feeling just as

I am – if more feral. She’s begging me to

felt terrible for falling apart

wolf seems much more distraught about

after him! She begs. I

I grumble in reply. Even if I wasn’t

up with him. Besides, he’ll only be angrier if

house.

though she’s still beside herself. I

curling into a little ball and pulling the blankets over my head.

though Sinclair has certainly been angry with me in the past.

some thought. Why weren’t you this upset when he accused me

digger, or when he spanked me or dragged me out of

those times were different. She argues. I was barely awake in the

it’s been protective. This is the

first time he’s walked

back. I assure her, but there’s a

exact same thing.

I know he has to come back, even if he only returns to end our relationship

here. But somewhere deep down

who imagines I’ll never see him

we’re not worth the

pastures? My wolf presses.

ridiculous! I shout at her. His entire life is here. His pack is here. He

much integrity to abandon his duty

her paws. It wouldn’t be the first time. He told us no

their pup, especially with humans – but our

seriously wrong with us –

this was

cry aloud, clamping my hands over my

inside my head. “

it, stop it,

wrenches from my chest, and the more time that passes, the