Surrogate For Alpha Dom

Ella

When my panic attack finally eases and I can breathe again, I peek up at Sinclair,

tears burning in my eyes. “I’m sorry.” I murmur weakly, hating that my stupid brain

ruined our moment.

“Why the hell are you apologizing?” Sinclair counterS, still petting me. He hadn’t let

me go even once as I weathered the storm of anxiety and despair, only pulling the

pillows and blankets of my nest closer so I would feel secure.

“Because I screwed everything up.” I explain thickly. “I was supposed to be helping

you and I fell apart at a mere suggestion.” Shame is coursing through my veins, not

because of the panic itself, but because of what it might mean: that I’m too fragile, too

broken, to be Sinclair’s Luna.

“Ella, don’t be silly.” He replies, and though I understand he didn’t mean to dismiss my

feelings, the words still sting. Sinclair opens his mouth to continue, undoubtedly with

some trite placation about how ‘these things happen’ or similar, but I cut him off.

“I’m not being silly!” I insist with exasperation.

What good am I as a mate if I can’t even be there for you when you need me? I get to

lie around all day doing nothing while you’re out saving the world. You are constantly

taking care of me on top of all your other Worries, and I never give you anything in

return. It’s not right. You shouldn’t have to comfort me when you’re the one who needs

to decompress!” I burst, throwing up my hands. “All this time we’ve been convinced

that I can’t be your Luna because I’m human, but we never even considered that I

might not be up to the task, even as a wolf.” My voice is shaking with fresh tears, and I

can’t look at Sinclair as I continue, “But now… what more evidence do we need?”

Sinclair doesn’t make a sound, and when I look at him, he’s positively fuming. His

heavy breathing and black expression tell me he’s barely holding onto his temper, and

the hands which were caressing me mere moments ago are now stationary and stiff. I

watch as he struggles to quell his anger, even though I’m not sure what I said to

infuriate him this way. After a second he shakes his head, apparently surrendering the

battle. “I need a minute, Ella.” He finally growls, “I need to go for a run, but I don’t want

leave you unless

it!” I burst, my voice cracking. I’m out of the bed in

in front of the bed. “This is exactly what I’m

ne from reality. If you’re angry

Consequences

of the nest, stalking forward with white-knuckled

a panic attack, Ella. If

my wolf out and run off this temper.” He turns and

the door, bypassing

he turns back, his wolf

this isn’t special treatment.” He rumbles angrily,

of control this way. If you need

ask the guards.”

and I can hear his wolf racing away down the hall.

simply stand there, staring after him. Im

a fresh bout of weeping. I consider

me of selfishly unloading my problems onto her,

refrain.

my head, whimpering like a pup

I am – if more feral. She’s begging me to do something, to fix this, but

have felt terrible for falling apart

my wolf seems much more distraught

I can’t

Even if I wasn’t on bed rest and it was

áble to catch up with him. Besides, he’ll only be angrier

house.

still beside

a little ball and pulling the blankets over my head. I

though Sinclair has certainly been angry with me in the past.

after some thought. Why weren’t you this

digger, or when he spanked me or dragged me

argues. I was barely awake in the

been protective. This is

hostile .. and the first time he’s walked out. What if he

but there’s a small part of me that

exact same thing.

come back, even if he only returns to end our relationship

all, he lives here. But somewhere deep down inside of

I’ll never see him

what if he decides we’re not worth the

pastures? My wolf presses.

ridiculous! I shout at her. His entire life is

abandon

digs in her paws. It wouldn’t be the

pup, especially with humans –

with us – what if he’s finally figured it out

if this was

it!” I cry aloud, clamping my hands over my ears, even though her

inside my head. “

it, stop it, stop

and the more time that passes,