Surrogate For Alpha Dom

Ella

When my panic attack finally eases and I can breathe again, I peek up at Sinclair,

tears burning in my eyes. “I’m sorry.” I murmur weakly, hating that my stupid brain

ruined our moment.

“Why the hell are you apologizing?” Sinclair counterS, still petting me. He hadn’t let

me go even once as I weathered the storm of anxiety and despair, only pulling the

pillows and blankets of my nest closer so I would feel secure.

“Because I screwed everything up.” I explain thickly. “I was supposed to be helping

you and I fell apart at a mere suggestion.” Shame is coursing through my veins, not

because of the panic itself, but because of what it might mean: that I’m too fragile, too

broken, to be Sinclair’s Luna.

“Ella, don’t be silly.” He replies, and though I understand he didn’t mean to dismiss my

feelings, the words still sting. Sinclair opens his mouth to continue, undoubtedly with

some trite placation about how ‘these things happen’ or similar, but I cut him off.

“I’m not being silly!” I insist with exasperation.

What good am I as a mate if I can’t even be there for you when you need me? I get to

lie around all day doing nothing while you’re out saving the world. You are constantly

taking care of me on top of all your other Worries, and I never give you anything in

return. It’s not right. You shouldn’t have to comfort me when you’re the one who needs

to decompress!” I burst, throwing up my hands. “All this time we’ve been convinced

that I can’t be your Luna because I’m human, but we never even considered that I

might not be up to the task, even as a wolf.” My voice is shaking with fresh tears, and I

can’t look at Sinclair as I continue, “But now… what more evidence do we need?”

Sinclair doesn’t make a sound, and when I look at him, he’s positively fuming. His

heavy breathing and black expression tell me he’s barely holding onto his temper, and

the hands which were caressing me mere moments ago are now stationary and stiff. I

watch as he struggles to quell his anger, even though I’m not sure what I said to

infuriate him this way. After a second he shakes his head, apparently surrendering the

battle. “I need a minute, Ella.” He finally growls, “I need to go for a run, but I don’t want

you unless

burst, my voice cracking. I’m out

front of the bed. “This

If you’re angry with me,

Consequences of

nest, stalking

you’ve just had a panic attack, Ella. If you

but I need to let my wolf out and run

door, bypassing

last moment, he turns back, his wolf glowing in his eyes.

isn’t special treatment.” He rumbles angrily, “I don’t believe in

way. If you need

ask the guards.”

disappears, and I can hear his wolf

staring after him. Im shaking again,

bout of weeping. I consider calling

the way she accused me of selfishly unloading my problems

refrain.

whimpering like

– if more feral. She’s begging me to do

for falling apart when I was supposed

wolf seems much more distraught

should go after him! She begs. I can’t stand it,

I grumble in reply. Even if I wasn’t on bed rest and it was perfectly safe,

be áble to catch up with him. Besides, he’ll only

house.

she’s still beside herself. I

pulling the blankets over my head. I haven’t felt

before, though Sinclair has certainly been angry with me in the

wolf after some thought. Why weren’t you this upset when he accused me of

or when he spanked me or dragged

She argues. I was barely

been protective. This is the

the first time he’s walked out. What if

I assure her, but there’s a small part

exact same thing.

has to come back, even if he only returns

lives here. But somewhere deep

imagines I’ll never

we’re not worth the trouble,

pastures? My wolf presses.

her. His entire life is here. His pack is here. He

integrity to abandon his duty

wouldn’t be

abandon their pup, especially with

– what if he’s finally figured

was the last

aloud, clamping my hands over

inside my head. “

stop it, stop

chest, and the more