Surrogate For Alpha Dom

Ella

When my panic attack finally eases and I can breathe again, I peek up at Sinclair,

tears burning in my eyes. “I’m sorry.” I murmur weakly, hating that my stupid brain

ruined our moment.

“Why the hell are you apologizing?” Sinclair counterS, still petting me. He hadn’t let

me go even once as I weathered the storm of anxiety and despair, only pulling the

pillows and blankets of my nest closer so I would feel secure.

“Because I screwed everything up.” I explain thickly. “I was supposed to be helping

you and I fell apart at a mere suggestion.” Shame is coursing through my veins, not

because of the panic itself, but because of what it might mean: that I’m too fragile, too

broken, to be Sinclair’s Luna.

“Ella, don’t be silly.” He replies, and though I understand he didn’t mean to dismiss my

feelings, the words still sting. Sinclair opens his mouth to continue, undoubtedly with

some trite placation about how ‘these things happen’ or similar, but I cut him off.

“I’m not being silly!” I insist with exasperation.

What good am I as a mate if I can’t even be there for you when you need me? I get to

lie around all day doing nothing while you’re out saving the world. You are constantly

taking care of me on top of all your other Worries, and I never give you anything in

return. It’s not right. You shouldn’t have to comfort me when you’re the one who needs

to decompress!” I burst, throwing up my hands. “All this time we’ve been convinced

that I can’t be your Luna because I’m human, but we never even considered that I

might not be up to the task, even as a wolf.” My voice is shaking with fresh tears, and I

can’t look at Sinclair as I continue, “But now… what more evidence do we need?”

Sinclair doesn’t make a sound, and when I look at him, he’s positively fuming. His

heavy breathing and black expression tell me he’s barely holding onto his temper, and

the hands which were caressing me mere moments ago are now stationary and stiff. I

watch as he struggles to quell his anger, even though I’m not sure what I said to

infuriate him this way. After a second he shakes his head, apparently surrendering the

battle. “I need a minute, Ella.” He finally growls, “I need to go for a run, but I don’t want

leave you unless you’re

my voice cracking. I’m out of the bed in a

“This is exactly what

you’re angry with me,

the Consequences of my

stalking

a panic attack, Ella. If you want to be upset

out and run off this temper.” He

door, bypassing me

back, his wolf glowing in his eyes.

isn’t special treatment.” He rumbles angrily, “I don’t believe in arguing

control this way. If you need anything while

ask the guards.”

hear his wolf racing away down the

after him. Im shaking again, and

not to dissolve into a fresh bout of weeping. I consider

of selfishly unloading my problems onto her,

refrain.

anxiously in my head, whimpering like a pup and feeling just as

if more feral. She’s begging me to do something,

falling apart

much more distraught about Sinclair’s

him! She begs. I can’t stand

Even if I wasn’t on bed

Besides, he’ll only

house.

still beside herself. I

little ball and pulling the blankets

Sinclair has certainly been angry

you this upset when he accused me

digger, or when he spanked me or dragged

were different. She argues. I was barely awake in the beginning,

past it’s been protective. This is the first time

first time he’s walked out.

assure her, but

exact same thing.

he has to come back, even if he only returns

deep down inside of me

who imagines I’ll never see him

what if he decides we’re not worth the trouble, and simply takes off

pastures? My wolf presses.

at her. His entire life is here. His

to abandon his

if? She digs in her paws. It wouldn’t be

their pup, especially with humans – but

with us – what if he’s finally figured it

this was the last

I cry aloud, clamping my hands over my ears, even though her

inside my head. “

stop it, stop

my chest, and the