Surrogate For Alpha Dom

Ella

When my panic attack finally eases and I can breathe again, I peek up at Sinclair,

tears burning in my eyes. “I’m sorry.” I murmur weakly, hating that my stupid brain

ruined our moment.

“Why the hell are you apologizing?” Sinclair counterS, still petting me. He hadn’t let

me go even once as I weathered the storm of anxiety and despair, only pulling the

pillows and blankets of my nest closer so I would feel secure.

“Because I screwed everything up.” I explain thickly. “I was supposed to be helping

you and I fell apart at a mere suggestion.” Shame is coursing through my veins, not

because of the panic itself, but because of what it might mean: that I’m too fragile, too

broken, to be Sinclair’s Luna.

“Ella, don’t be silly.” He replies, and though I understand he didn’t mean to dismiss my

feelings, the words still sting. Sinclair opens his mouth to continue, undoubtedly with

some trite placation about how ‘these things happen’ or similar, but I cut him off.

“I’m not being silly!” I insist with exasperation.

What good am I as a mate if I can’t even be there for you when you need me? I get to

lie around all day doing nothing while you’re out saving the world. You are constantly

taking care of me on top of all your other Worries, and I never give you anything in

return. It’s not right. You shouldn’t have to comfort me when you’re the one who needs

to decompress!” I burst, throwing up my hands. “All this time we’ve been convinced

that I can’t be your Luna because I’m human, but we never even considered that I

might not be up to the task, even as a wolf.” My voice is shaking with fresh tears, and I

can’t look at Sinclair as I continue, “But now… what more evidence do we need?”

Sinclair doesn’t make a sound, and when I look at him, he’s positively fuming. His

heavy breathing and black expression tell me he’s barely holding onto his temper, and

the hands which were caressing me mere moments ago are now stationary and stiff. I

watch as he struggles to quell his anger, even though I’m not sure what I said to

infuriate him this way. After a second he shakes his head, apparently surrendering the

battle. “I need a minute, Ella.” He finally growls, “I need to go for a run, but I don’t want

you unless you’re

burst, my voice cracking. I’m out of the bed in a heartbeat,

the bed. “This is exactly what I’m

ne from reality. If you’re angry with me,

the Consequences of my

of the nest, stalking forward with white-knuckled

you’ve just had a panic attack, Ella. If

my wolf out and run off this temper.” He turns and

the door, bypassing me

he turns back, his wolf

isn’t special treatment.” He rumbles angrily, “I

action when I’m out of control this way. If you need anything while

ask the guards.”

hear his wolf racing away down

after him. Im shaking again,

into a fresh bout of weeping.

accused me of selfishly unloading my problems onto

refrain.

wolf is pacing anxiously in my head, whimpering like

feral. She’s begging me to do something, to

falling apart when I was supposed to be

but my wolf seems much more

go after him! She begs. I can’t stand

reply. Even if I wasn’t

be áble to catch up with him. Besides, he’ll

house.

though she’s still beside herself. I climb

a little ball and pulling the blankets over my

before, though Sinclair has certainly been angry with me in the past. Hey,

weren’t you this upset when he accused me of

digger, or when he spanked me or dragged

I was

in the past it’s been protective. This is the

and the first time he’s

he’ll come back. I assure her, but there’s a small

exact same thing.

come back, even if he only returns to end

here. But somewhere deep down inside of me there’s a

who imagines I’ll

worth the

pastures? My wolf presses.

at her. His entire life

to abandon his

She digs in her paws. It wouldn’t be the first time. He told

especially with humans – but

wrong with us – what

was the

aloud, clamping my hands over

inside my head. “

stop

chest, and the more time that passes, the more