Surrogate For Alpha Dom

Ella

When my panic attack finally eases and I can breathe again, I peek up at Sinclair,

tears burning in my eyes. “I’m sorry.” I murmur weakly, hating that my stupid brain

ruined our moment.

“Why the hell are you apologizing?” Sinclair counterS, still petting me. He hadn’t let

me go even once as I weathered the storm of anxiety and despair, only pulling the

pillows and blankets of my nest closer so I would feel secure.

“Because I screwed everything up.” I explain thickly. “I was supposed to be helping

you and I fell apart at a mere suggestion.” Shame is coursing through my veins, not

because of the panic itself, but because of what it might mean: that I’m too fragile, too

broken, to be Sinclair’s Luna.

“Ella, don’t be silly.” He replies, and though I understand he didn’t mean to dismiss my

feelings, the words still sting. Sinclair opens his mouth to continue, undoubtedly with

some trite placation about how ‘these things happen’ or similar, but I cut him off.

“I’m not being silly!” I insist with exasperation.

What good am I as a mate if I can’t even be there for you when you need me? I get to

lie around all day doing nothing while you’re out saving the world. You are constantly

taking care of me on top of all your other Worries, and I never give you anything in

return. It’s not right. You shouldn’t have to comfort me when you’re the one who needs

to decompress!” I burst, throwing up my hands. “All this time we’ve been convinced

that I can’t be your Luna because I’m human, but we never even considered that I

might not be up to the task, even as a wolf.” My voice is shaking with fresh tears, and I

can’t look at Sinclair as I continue, “But now… what more evidence do we need?”

Sinclair doesn’t make a sound, and when I look at him, he’s positively fuming. His

heavy breathing and black expression tell me he’s barely holding onto his temper, and

the hands which were caressing me mere moments ago are now stationary and stiff. I

watch as he struggles to quell his anger, even though I’m not sure what I said to

infuriate him this way. After a second he shakes his head, apparently surrendering the

battle. “I need a minute, Ella.” He finally growls, “I need to go for a run, but I don’t want

leave you unless you’re

cracking. I’m out of the

the bed. “This is

you’re angry

the Consequences of

stalking forward

panic attack, Ella. If you want to

fine, but I need to let my wolf out and run off this temper.” He turns and

the door, bypassing me

the last moment, he turns back, his wolf glowing

rumbles

out of control this way. If you need anything while I’m

ask the guards.”

Sinclair disappears, and I can hear his wolf racing away

staring after him.

dissolve into a fresh bout of weeping. I consider

accused me of selfishly unloading my problems onto her, and

refrain.

head, whimpering like

if more feral. She’s begging me to do something, to fix this, but I don’t

for falling apart when I was supposed

wolf seems much more

begs. I can’t stand it, we have

if I wasn’t on bed rest and it was perfectly

áble to catch up with him. Besides, he’ll only be angrier

house.

she’s still beside

the blankets over my head. I haven’t felt

has certainly been angry with me in the past. Hey,

some thought. Why weren’t you this upset when

gold digger, or when he spanked me

argues. I was barely awake

been angry in the past it’s been protective. This is the first time he’s

time he’s walked out. What if he doesn’t come

back. I assure her, but

exact same thing.

to come back, even if he only returns to end our

But somewhere deep down inside of

I’ll never

decides we’re not worth the trouble,

pastures? My wolf presses.

her. His entire life is here. His pack is here.

much integrity to abandon his

if? She digs in her paws. It wouldn’t be the first

pup, especially with humans –

us – what if he’s

this was the

clamping my hands over my ears, even though her voice

inside my head. “

it, stop

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