Surrogate For Alpha Dom

Ella

When my panic attack finally eases and I can breathe again, I peek up at Sinclair,

tears burning in my eyes. “I’m sorry.” I murmur weakly, hating that my stupid brain

ruined our moment.

“Why the hell are you apologizing?” Sinclair counterS, still petting me. He hadn’t let

me go even once as I weathered the storm of anxiety and despair, only pulling the

pillows and blankets of my nest closer so I would feel secure.

“Because I screwed everything up.” I explain thickly. “I was supposed to be helping

you and I fell apart at a mere suggestion.” Shame is coursing through my veins, not

because of the panic itself, but because of what it might mean: that I’m too fragile, too

broken, to be Sinclair’s Luna.

“Ella, don’t be silly.” He replies, and though I understand he didn’t mean to dismiss my

feelings, the words still sting. Sinclair opens his mouth to continue, undoubtedly with

some trite placation about how ‘these things happen’ or similar, but I cut him off.

“I’m not being silly!” I insist with exasperation.

What good am I as a mate if I can’t even be there for you when you need me? I get to

lie around all day doing nothing while you’re out saving the world. You are constantly

taking care of me on top of all your other Worries, and I never give you anything in

return. It’s not right. You shouldn’t have to comfort me when you’re the one who needs

to decompress!” I burst, throwing up my hands. “All this time we’ve been convinced

that I can’t be your Luna because I’m human, but we never even considered that I

might not be up to the task, even as a wolf.” My voice is shaking with fresh tears, and I

can’t look at Sinclair as I continue, “But now… what more evidence do we need?”

Sinclair doesn’t make a sound, and when I look at him, he’s positively fuming. His

heavy breathing and black expression tell me he’s barely holding onto his temper, and

the hands which were caressing me mere moments ago are now stationary and stiff. I

watch as he struggles to quell his anger, even though I’m not sure what I said to

infuriate him this way. After a second he shakes his head, apparently surrendering the

battle. “I need a minute, Ella.” He finally growls, “I need to go for a run, but I don’t want

leave you unless

I burst, my voice cracking. I’m out of the bed in a

bed. “This is exactly what

from reality. If you’re angry with me, then be angry! Let

the Consequences

leaps out of the nest, stalking forward with white-knuckled fists. “I’m not

had a panic attack, Ella. If you

but I need to let my wolf out and run off this temper.” He turns and

door,

last moment, he turns back, his wolf glowing in his eyes. “And

this isn’t special treatment.” He rumbles angrily, “I don’t

out of control this way. If you need

ask the guards.”

Sinclair disappears, and I can hear his wolf racing away down

simply stand there, staring after him. Im shaking again,

bout of weeping. I consider calling Cora, but

of selfishly unloading

refrain.

wolf is pacing anxiously in my head, whimpering like a

am – if more feral. She’s begging me to do something, to

I might have felt terrible for falling apart when I

but my wolf seems much more distraught about Sinclair’s

should go after him! She begs. I can’t stand it,

can’t. I grumble in reply. Even if I wasn’t on bed

catch up with him. Besides, he’ll only

house.

though she’s still beside herself. I climb back

and pulling the blankets over my

has certainly been angry with me in the past.

Why weren’t you

or when he spanked me or

times were different. She argues. I was barely awake in the beginning,

been angry in the past it’s been

the first time he’s walked out. What if he

I assure her, but there’s a small part of me

exact same thing.

know he has to come back, even if he

he lives here. But somewhere deep down inside

I’ll

he decides we’re not worth the trouble, and simply takes

pastures? My wolf presses.

ridiculous! I shout at her. His entire life is here. His pack

integrity to abandon his

digs in her paws. It wouldn’t be

abandon their pup, especially

– what

was the last

my hands over

inside my head. “

it, stop it,

my chest, and the more time that passes, the more