Surrogate For Alpha Dom

Ella

When my panic attack finally eases and I can breathe again, I peek up at Sinclair,

tears burning in my eyes. “I’m sorry.” I murmur weakly, hating that my stupid brain

ruined our moment.

“Why the hell are you apologizing?” Sinclair counterS, still petting me. He hadn’t let

me go even once as I weathered the storm of anxiety and despair, only pulling the

pillows and blankets of my nest closer so I would feel secure.

“Because I screwed everything up.” I explain thickly. “I was supposed to be helping

you and I fell apart at a mere suggestion.” Shame is coursing through my veins, not

because of the panic itself, but because of what it might mean: that I’m too fragile, too

broken, to be Sinclair’s Luna.

“Ella, don’t be silly.” He replies, and though I understand he didn’t mean to dismiss my

feelings, the words still sting. Sinclair opens his mouth to continue, undoubtedly with

some trite placation about how ‘these things happen’ or similar, but I cut him off.

“I’m not being silly!” I insist with exasperation.

What good am I as a mate if I can’t even be there for you when you need me? I get to

lie around all day doing nothing while you’re out saving the world. You are constantly

taking care of me on top of all your other Worries, and I never give you anything in

return. It’s not right. You shouldn’t have to comfort me when you’re the one who needs

to decompress!” I burst, throwing up my hands. “All this time we’ve been convinced

that I can’t be your Luna because I’m human, but we never even considered that I

might not be up to the task, even as a wolf.” My voice is shaking with fresh tears, and I

can’t look at Sinclair as I continue, “But now… what more evidence do we need?”

Sinclair doesn’t make a sound, and when I look at him, he’s positively fuming. His

heavy breathing and black expression tell me he’s barely holding onto his temper, and

the hands which were caressing me mere moments ago are now stationary and stiff. I

watch as he struggles to quell his anger, even though I’m not sure what I said to

infuriate him this way. After a second he shakes his head, apparently surrendering the

battle. “I need a minute, Ella.” He finally growls, “I need to go for a run, but I don’t want

leave you

voice cracking. I’m out of the bed

the bed. “This is exactly what I’m

you’re angry with me, then be angry!

the Consequences

stalking forward with white-knuckled fists. “I’m

just had a panic attack, Ella. If you want to be upset

but I need to let my wolf out

the door,

he turns back, his wolf glowing in his eyes. “And for

He rumbles

this way. If you need anything while

ask the guards.”

disappears, and I can hear his

there, staring after him.

a fresh bout of weeping. I

the way she accused me of selfishly unloading my

refrain.

my head, whimpering like a pup and feeling just

more feral. She’s begging me to do something, to fix this,

for falling apart when I was supposed to

seems much more distraught

She begs. I can’t stand it, we have to fix

reply. Even if I wasn’t on

áble to catch up with him. Besides, he’ll

house.

understanding, though she’s still

a little ball and pulling the

been angry with me in the past. Hey,

weren’t you this upset when

or when he spanked me or dragged me out

times were different. She argues. I was

the past it’s been protective. This

the first time he’s walked out. What

her, but there’s a small part of me that

exact same thing.

back, even if he only

lives here. But somewhere deep down inside

who imagines I’ll

worth the trouble,

pastures? My wolf presses.

I shout at her. His entire life is here. His

much integrity to abandon his duty

digs in her paws. It wouldn’t be the first

abandon their pup, especially with humans – but

be seriously wrong with us – what if he’s finally figured

if this was the

it!” I cry aloud, clamping my hands over my ears,

inside my head. “

it, stop it,

the more time that passes, the more