Surrogate For Alpha Dom

Ella

When my panic attack finally eases and I can breathe again, I peek up at Sinclair,

tears burning in my eyes. “I’m sorry.” I murmur weakly, hating that my stupid brain

ruined our moment.

“Why the hell are you apologizing?” Sinclair counterS, still petting me. He hadn’t let

me go even once as I weathered the storm of anxiety and despair, only pulling the

pillows and blankets of my nest closer so I would feel secure.

“Because I screwed everything up.” I explain thickly. “I was supposed to be helping

you and I fell apart at a mere suggestion.” Shame is coursing through my veins, not

because of the panic itself, but because of what it might mean: that I’m too fragile, too

broken, to be Sinclair’s Luna.

“Ella, don’t be silly.” He replies, and though I understand he didn’t mean to dismiss my

feelings, the words still sting. Sinclair opens his mouth to continue, undoubtedly with

some trite placation about how ‘these things happen’ or similar, but I cut him off.

“I’m not being silly!” I insist with exasperation.

What good am I as a mate if I can’t even be there for you when you need me? I get to

lie around all day doing nothing while you’re out saving the world. You are constantly

taking care of me on top of all your other Worries, and I never give you anything in

return. It’s not right. You shouldn’t have to comfort me when you’re the one who needs

to decompress!” I burst, throwing up my hands. “All this time we’ve been convinced

that I can’t be your Luna because I’m human, but we never even considered that I

might not be up to the task, even as a wolf.” My voice is shaking with fresh tears, and I

can’t look at Sinclair as I continue, “But now… what more evidence do we need?”

Sinclair doesn’t make a sound, and when I look at him, he’s positively fuming. His

heavy breathing and black expression tell me he’s barely holding onto his temper, and

the hands which were caressing me mere moments ago are now stationary and stiff. I

watch as he struggles to quell his anger, even though I’m not sure what I said to

infuriate him this way. After a second he shakes his head, apparently surrendering the

battle. “I need a minute, Ella.” He finally growls, “I need to go for a run, but I don’t want

leave you

out

“This is exactly

protecting ne from reality. If you’re angry with me, then be

the Consequences

the nest, stalking forward with

you when you’ve just had a panic attack,

out and run off

door, bypassing me

moment, he turns back, his wolf glowing in his

treatment.” He rumbles angrily, “I don’t believe

action when I’m out of control this way. If

ask the guards.”

I can hear his wolf racing away down the

simply stand there, staring after him. Im shaking again, and I’m trying

to dissolve into a fresh bout

she accused me of selfishly unloading my problems

refrain.

anxiously in my head, whimpering like a pup

begging me to do something, to

for falling apart when I was

my wolf seems much more distraught about

should go after him! She begs. I can’t stand it,

I grumble in reply. Even if I wasn’t on

catch up with him. Besides, he’ll only be

house.

understanding, though she’s still beside herself. I climb

and pulling the blankets

angry with

Why weren’t you this upset when

or when he spanked me or dragged me out

argues. I was barely

the past it’s been protective. This is

he’s walked out. What if he doesn’t come

but there’s a small part of

exact same thing.

he has to come back, even if

somewhere deep down

I’ll never see

we’re not worth the trouble, and simply takes off

pastures? My wolf presses.

entire life is here. His

abandon

what if? She digs in her paws. It wouldn’t be the first time. He

especially with humans

with us – what if he’s finally

if this was the

clamping my hands

inside my head. “

it, stop

from my chest, and the more time that passes, the more