Surrogate For Alpha Dom

Ella

When my panic attack finally eases and I can breathe again, I peek up at Sinclair,

tears burning in my eyes. “I’m sorry.” I murmur weakly, hating that my stupid brain

ruined our moment.

“Why the hell are you apologizing?” Sinclair counterS, still petting me. He hadn’t let

me go even once as I weathered the storm of anxiety and despair, only pulling the

pillows and blankets of my nest closer so I would feel secure.

“Because I screwed everything up.” I explain thickly. “I was supposed to be helping

you and I fell apart at a mere suggestion.” Shame is coursing through my veins, not

because of the panic itself, but because of what it might mean: that I’m too fragile, too

broken, to be Sinclair’s Luna.

“Ella, don’t be silly.” He replies, and though I understand he didn’t mean to dismiss my

feelings, the words still sting. Sinclair opens his mouth to continue, undoubtedly with

some trite placation about how ‘these things happen’ or similar, but I cut him off.

“I’m not being silly!” I insist with exasperation.

What good am I as a mate if I can’t even be there for you when you need me? I get to

lie around all day doing nothing while you’re out saving the world. You are constantly

taking care of me on top of all your other Worries, and I never give you anything in

return. It’s not right. You shouldn’t have to comfort me when you’re the one who needs

to decompress!” I burst, throwing up my hands. “All this time we’ve been convinced

that I can’t be your Luna because I’m human, but we never even considered that I

might not be up to the task, even as a wolf.” My voice is shaking with fresh tears, and I

can’t look at Sinclair as I continue, “But now… what more evidence do we need?”

Sinclair doesn’t make a sound, and when I look at him, he’s positively fuming. His

heavy breathing and black expression tell me he’s barely holding onto his temper, and

the hands which were caressing me mere moments ago are now stationary and stiff. I

watch as he struggles to quell his anger, even though I’m not sure what I said to

infuriate him this way. After a second he shakes his head, apparently surrendering the

battle. “I need a minute, Ella.” He finally growls, “I need to go for a run, but I don’t want

you unless

it!” I burst, my voice cracking. I’m out of the bed

bed. “This

If you’re angry with

Consequences of my

the nest, stalking forward

panic

wolf out and run off this temper.” He

the door, bypassing me

last moment, he turns back, his wolf glowing in his eyes. “And

special treatment.” He rumbles angrily,

action when I’m out of control this way. If you

ask the guards.”

disappears, and I can hear his wolf

I simply stand there, staring after him. Im shaking

fresh bout of weeping. I

of selfishly unloading my

refrain.

anxiously in my head, whimpering like

more feral. She’s begging me to do something, to fix this,

falling apart when

seems much more

begs. I can’t

reply. Even if I wasn’t

Besides,

house.

she’s still

curling into a little ball and pulling the blankets over my head. I

before, though Sinclair has certainly been angry with me in the past. Hey, I

some thought. Why weren’t you this upset when he accused me

or when he spanked me or dragged me

She argues. I was barely awake in the beginning,

been protective.

he’s walked out. What if he doesn’t come

I assure her, but there’s a small part of

exact same thing.

has to come back, even if

all, he lives here. But somewhere deep

who imagines I’ll

if he decides we’re not worth

pastures? My wolf presses.

ridiculous! I shout at her. His entire life is here. His pack is here.

to abandon his

wouldn’t be the first time. He told us

abandon their pup, especially with humans –

wrong with us – what if he’s finally figured it out

was

hands over my

inside my head. “

stop it, stop

the more time