Surrogate For Alpha Dom

Ella

When my panic attack finally eases and I can breathe again, I peek up at Sinclair,

tears burning in my eyes. “I’m sorry.” I murmur weakly, hating that my stupid brain

ruined our moment.

“Why the hell are you apologizing?” Sinclair counterS, still petting me. He hadn’t let

me go even once as I weathered the storm of anxiety and despair, only pulling the

pillows and blankets of my nest closer so I would feel secure.

“Because I screwed everything up.” I explain thickly. “I was supposed to be helping

you and I fell apart at a mere suggestion.” Shame is coursing through my veins, not

because of the panic itself, but because of what it might mean: that I’m too fragile, too

broken, to be Sinclair’s Luna.

“Ella, don’t be silly.” He replies, and though I understand he didn’t mean to dismiss my

feelings, the words still sting. Sinclair opens his mouth to continue, undoubtedly with

some trite placation about how ‘these things happen’ or similar, but I cut him off.

“I’m not being silly!” I insist with exasperation.

What good am I as a mate if I can’t even be there for you when you need me? I get to

lie around all day doing nothing while you’re out saving the world. You are constantly

taking care of me on top of all your other Worries, and I never give you anything in

return. It’s not right. You shouldn’t have to comfort me when you’re the one who needs

to decompress!” I burst, throwing up my hands. “All this time we’ve been convinced

that I can’t be your Luna because I’m human, but we never even considered that I

might not be up to the task, even as a wolf.” My voice is shaking with fresh tears, and I

can’t look at Sinclair as I continue, “But now… what more evidence do we need?”

Sinclair doesn’t make a sound, and when I look at him, he’s positively fuming. His

heavy breathing and black expression tell me he’s barely holding onto his temper, and

the hands which were caressing me mere moments ago are now stationary and stiff. I

watch as he struggles to quell his anger, even though I’m not sure what I said to

infuriate him this way. After a second he shakes his head, apparently surrendering the

battle. “I need a minute, Ella.” He finally growls, “I need to go for a run, but I don’t want

you unless

voice cracking. I’m out

the bed. “This

If you’re angry with me, then be angry!

Consequences of my

nest, stalking forward with white-knuckled fists.

yell at you when you’ve just had a panic attack, Ella. If you want

out and

the door, bypassing me

his wolf glowing in his

rumbles angrily, “I don’t believe in arguing

out of control this way.

ask the guards.”

I can hear

while I simply stand there, staring after him. Im shaking again, and I’m trying

fresh bout of weeping. I

she accused me of selfishly unloading my problems onto her,

refrain.

wolf is pacing anxiously in my head, whimpering like a pup

if more feral. She’s begging me to do something, to fix this, but I don’t

have felt terrible for falling apart when I was

but my wolf seems much more

go after him! She begs. I can’t stand it, we have

reply. Even if I wasn’t

catch up with him. Besides, he’ll only be angrier

house.

still

into a little ball and pulling the blankets over my head.

Sinclair has certainly been angry with me

thought. Why weren’t you this upset when he accused

or when he spanked me

argues. I was barely awake

been protective. This is the first time

first time he’s walked out. What if he doesn’t come

I assure her, but there’s a small part of

exact same thing.

come back, even if he

he lives here. But somewhere deep down inside of me there’s a

I’ll never

not worth the trouble, and simply takes

pastures? My wolf presses.

I shout at her. His entire life is here. His pack is

abandon

wouldn’t be the first time. He told

their pup, especially with humans –

wrong with us –

was the last

I cry aloud, clamping my hands over my ears,

inside my head. “

it, stop it, stop

sob wrenches from my chest, and the