Surrogate For Alpha Dom

Ella

When my panic attack finally eases and I can breathe again, I peek up at Sinclair,

tears burning in my eyes. “I’m sorry.” I murmur weakly, hating that my stupid brain

ruined our moment.

“Why the hell are you apologizing?” Sinclair counterS, still petting me. He hadn’t let

me go even once as I weathered the storm of anxiety and despair, only pulling the

pillows and blankets of my nest closer so I would feel secure.

“Because I screwed everything up.” I explain thickly. “I was supposed to be helping

you and I fell apart at a mere suggestion.” Shame is coursing through my veins, not

because of the panic itself, but because of what it might mean: that I’m too fragile, too

broken, to be Sinclair’s Luna.

“Ella, don’t be silly.” He replies, and though I understand he didn’t mean to dismiss my

feelings, the words still sting. Sinclair opens his mouth to continue, undoubtedly with

some trite placation about how ‘these things happen’ or similar, but I cut him off.

“I’m not being silly!” I insist with exasperation.

What good am I as a mate if I can’t even be there for you when you need me? I get to

lie around all day doing nothing while you’re out saving the world. You are constantly

taking care of me on top of all your other Worries, and I never give you anything in

return. It’s not right. You shouldn’t have to comfort me when you’re the one who needs

to decompress!” I burst, throwing up my hands. “All this time we’ve been convinced

that I can’t be your Luna because I’m human, but we never even considered that I

might not be up to the task, even as a wolf.” My voice is shaking with fresh tears, and I

can’t look at Sinclair as I continue, “But now… what more evidence do we need?”

Sinclair doesn’t make a sound, and when I look at him, he’s positively fuming. His

heavy breathing and black expression tell me he’s barely holding onto his temper, and

the hands which were caressing me mere moments ago are now stationary and stiff. I

watch as he struggles to quell his anger, even though I’m not sure what I said to

infuriate him this way. After a second he shakes his head, apparently surrendering the

battle. “I need a minute, Ella.” He finally growls, “I need to go for a run, but I don’t want

leave you unless you’re

I’m out of

“This is exactly

If you’re angry with me, then

Consequences of

leaps out of the nest, stalking forward with white-knuckled

just had a panic attack, Ella. If you want to be

need to let my wolf out and run off this

door, bypassing

the last moment, he turns back, his wolf glowing in his eyes. “And

treatment.” He rumbles angrily, “I don’t believe in arguing

out of control this way. If you need

ask the guards.”

Sinclair disappears, and I can hear his wolf racing away down

while I simply stand there, staring after him. Im shaking again, and I’m

to dissolve into a fresh bout of weeping. I

accused me of selfishly unloading my problems onto

refrain.

in my head, whimpering like a pup and feeling

begging me to do

felt terrible for falling apart when

wolf seems much

I can’t stand it, we

wasn’t on bed rest and

him. Besides, he’ll only be

house.

still beside herself.

into a little ball and pulling the blankets over

angry with me

after some thought. Why weren’t you this upset when he accused

when he spanked me

those times were different. She argues. I was barely awake in the

he’s been angry in the past it’s been

he’s walked out.

assure her, but there’s a

exact same thing.

I know he has to come back, even if he only returns to end our relationship

he lives here. But somewhere deep down inside of me

who imagines I’ll

he decides we’re not worth the trouble, and

pastures? My wolf presses.

being ridiculous! I shout at her. His entire life

integrity to abandon his duty that

It wouldn’t be

abandon their pup, especially with

wrong with us – what if he’s finally figured it

if this was the

cry aloud, clamping my hands over my ears, even though

inside my head. “

stop it, stop

and the more time that passes, the more