Chapter 121
Trigger Warning: This chapter contains experiences of abuse and s3xual assaultnothing explicit, but please take care reading..
Sinclair
Ella’s small body is completely stiff in my arms, even though we’re in her favorite
place. I’ve only bathed with her once before, but it didn’t take a rocket scientist to
figure out how much she loves a bubble bath. She takes at least four a week, and
when she’s upset I’ve known her to have a bath even after showering. Until I spoke
with Cora about Ella’s self-care practices, I didn’t understand the connection to her
childhood experience of neglect, but now that I know I’m determined never to deprive
her of the comfort even if my water bills go through the roof and the city goes into a
drought.
“Are you ready to talk this out, trouble?” I inquire, resting my hands on her round
tummy and feeling a pulse of stress from the baby. A fresh spark of worry assails me,
and I know that Rafe is channeling his mother’s fraught emotions. Ella doesn’t
respond to my question, and I press on, realizing that the poor little wolf isn’t going to
relax until she knows l’m not going to reject her”
Sweetheart, it never even crossed my mind to end things. I love you
Ella’s muscles tighten further, though I didn’t think such a thing was possible.
“But..She stammers, twisting around to look at me, “but you left!”
Im sorry that I walked out.”I reply gently, grazing my knuckles over her cheek. “But it
wasn’t because I ever had doubts about us.”I share, wondering about my sweet
mate’s reaction. I know some survivors of child abuse view any confrontation as a
disaster or threat, but Ella has weathered my anger in the past without any signs of a
trauma response. “I was angry that you thought you don’t contribute anything to our
lost it when you suggested you couldn’t be my Luna.
of losing you pushed me over the edge, and I needed
continuing.”
brow furrows, and I can see her grappling with
end things.” She whispers, staring at the water.
think
completely aware of. And Mike’s betrayal and learning that I’m a wolf
into very
and I gently flip her body the rest of the
completely, I snuggle
can straddle
baby.” I profess, kissing her head and stroking her spine.
I just don’t
I’m that angry. The same way I would never make a pack
in the height of a fury. I think taking some space
healthy, but maybe we can find
too much physical distance.” I suggest. “But even if we can’t, you
that no matter how far I go or how long I stay away, I will always
you, Ella.”
her arms tighten
you,” She hiccups, “and I’m sorry I said I couldn’t be your
weight here. This isn’t the first time I’ve
for you and failed.”
for a moment.” I order, sliding my finger under her chin
take care of me all the time.
You keep me
You stand up to bullies
even when I don’t want you to. Moreover, I need
nurture and protect. If you didn’t
of you, I
frowns. “But I didn’t let
I sigh, recalling the terror that came over her beautiful
tying her up. I’ve growled
her over my knee and overpowered her
wolf responds to my bossiness like a bee to honey.
both know this didn’t happen randomly. I accidentally triggered
didn’t I?”
but her eyes
Ella gives a slight nod, and then her wide gaze returns
heart aches.
I could tell her no, promise that she won’t
help anything. “We’re in a s3xual relationship,
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