Teacher's Girl (Aflyingwhale)

EMMA’s POV : 

lan was standing at the door.He looked tired, disheveled, and there was this sadness in his eyes.But he was still my lan.

I was so relieved to see him in front of me.The moment I saw him standing there, my heart was doing backflips and I wished I could jump out of this bed and hug him.But I was still too weak, so all I could do was smile at him.  

"Hey, "I said softly.

"Hi,"he moved closer and closed the door behind him.

"How are you feeling—"

"I've missed you," I cut him off quickly.

I missed him so much, I couldn't hold it in anymore.I was so happy to see him, but then I also felt super self- conscious.I had been sitting in this hospital bed for a week.

Sure, I took a shower and all, but I probably looked terrible.I still had scars and bruises all over my face and body from the accident.As if he knew what I was thinking about, that sadness in his eyes was showing again.He put his gaze down as if he was in pain and stalked closer to the bed.

When he reached the side of my bed, he stopped and looked up at me.His eyes were glistening.

"I missed you too,"he paused for a moment and his hand reached for my face.

I leaned my face to the palm of his hand and he squeezed my cheek gently.He then took a deep breath and said, "I’m so sorry.I’m so sorry for everything,"

"No, I’m the one who should apologize..." I shook my head slowly.

My voice cracked when I spoke because I saw how broken he was.

All this time I was thinking about myself and my own feelings, I had forgotten that lan was hurting too.

"Why are you apologizing?"he said softly.

"Because...Because I was selfish and immature.I didn’t handle the situation right.I was confused and I just shut you out...and then I did something very reckless and stupid and I..."I could stop the tears from streaming down my face as I said, "I lost our baby...I'm really sorry,"

I was full on sobbing at this point and lan grabbed me and pulled me into his chest.He held onto me tightly as I cried into his shirt.

"It's not your fault, Emma.It's okay,"

he cooed me and stroked the back of my head.

"It is my fault.It’s all my fault.I messed everything up..."

my voice was muffled because I buried face into his chest.

"No, you don't,"

"Yes, I did,"

"No, look, you’re here and you're okay.That's all that matters,"he said as he tilted my face up.

He stared at me with this look of deep longing, and I thought he was going to kiss me.But instead, he leaned his forehead down and rested it against mine.He breathed me in and I breathed him in, and we just stayed like that for a while.

"I was so scared I was gonna lose you,"he whispered.

"You're never gonna lose me," I said as I gripped the back of his head.

I was leaning my face forward and pulling him in for a kiss, our lips almost touched, but then he pulled away quickly.

"lan?"

"You look really tired.I think I should let you rest for a while,"he said nervously.

"No, I’m fine," I said reassuringly.

"Are you sure?"

but I'm feeling

smile curved up

his and squeezed it

was something in the air, something different about him that

he threw his gaze down again, staring at my

of my hand and it was a soothing gesture, but

"lan,"

I said slowly.

"Yeah?"

gonna happen to us

hard at first but you're the strongest girl I know.You'll make it through.You'll be back at

‘us’, but he only replied with ‘you’.He said all those nice things about me,

the fall with you, right?"I asked

like we planned,"The smile on his face turned to a

and turned his face away again, avoiding

"Emma..."he started.

"What?"

think we should do this

words caught me by

wasn’t hearing him right, but that look on his face was clear as day.He was serious about

“What do you mean?"

have to stop.This has gotten way, way too far," he paused for

over our heads,What was he saying? Why was he saying all this? Where

I croaked, 

that we’ve

I’m not good

he was pulling

about? I love you.And okay, what happened was terrible, but like you said,

that was making him act this way, I was determined to snap him out

gravity of the situation here," he pulled his hand away forcefully and raked his hair with

situation?" I

at you! You almost died!" he stood up and yelled, pointing out the fact that we were sitting

happen!" his breaths were ragged, but he was trying his best to

"I love you, Emma.I do.I always have and I always will.But my being with you is far too destructive, for you

gonna give up on us?"I

think it's best if we take some time apart to figure everything

We've gone through this.We've got our future all planned up.I’m gonna

won't be there?"he

job and

go to college in the state

cut me off

see?

"What's the problem?"

to do what’s best for you and I

me what? Hold you back?" I spat when he couldn't finish his

can’t let you throw your life away from

and let out a deep sigh, "lan,

right there,"he stated

you talking

this...it was too much too fast.Just a week ago, you told me you were pregnant.Then I thought we decided to get rid of the baby.But the next day you called me and said you can’t do it.And then I looked for you all over town and I couldn't find you, and then your friends called me and told me you were in an accident.Like, what the actual fuck?"he took a deep breath and looked up to the ceiling,

"That's too fuckin’ much,"

lost the baby, okay? I’m not pregnant anymore.You got your wish.Why can’t we just go

trying my best to hold on to whatever that was left here, but I guess I was holding

I wished for this happen? Is that what you think of me?"he spat

mean it that way,"I shook my head quickly, but it

turned cold as he said, "But

his hand but

go back to

me.I was losing him, or maybe I already did.He had decided on this the moment he stepped into the room.It felt like my heart was being ripped apart and