Teacher's Girl (Aflyingwhale)

EMMA’s POV : 

lan was standing at the door.He looked tired, disheveled, and there was this sadness in his eyes.But he was still my lan.

I was so relieved to see him in front of me.The moment I saw him standing there, my heart was doing backflips and I wished I could jump out of this bed and hug him.But I was still too weak, so all I could do was smile at him.  

"Hey, "I said softly.

"Hi,"he moved closer and closed the door behind him.

"How are you feeling—"

"I've missed you," I cut him off quickly.

I missed him so much, I couldn't hold it in anymore.I was so happy to see him, but then I also felt super self- conscious.I had been sitting in this hospital bed for a week.

Sure, I took a shower and all, but I probably looked terrible.I still had scars and bruises all over my face and body from the accident.As if he knew what I was thinking about, that sadness in his eyes was showing again.He put his gaze down as if he was in pain and stalked closer to the bed.

When he reached the side of my bed, he stopped and looked up at me.His eyes were glistening.

"I missed you too,"he paused for a moment and his hand reached for my face.

I leaned my face to the palm of his hand and he squeezed my cheek gently.He then took a deep breath and said, "I’m so sorry.I’m so sorry for everything,"

"No, I’m the one who should apologize..." I shook my head slowly.

My voice cracked when I spoke because I saw how broken he was.

All this time I was thinking about myself and my own feelings, I had forgotten that lan was hurting too.

"Why are you apologizing?"he said softly.

"Because...Because I was selfish and immature.I didn’t handle the situation right.I was confused and I just shut you out...and then I did something very reckless and stupid and I..."I could stop the tears from streaming down my face as I said, "I lost our baby...I'm really sorry,"

I was full on sobbing at this point and lan grabbed me and pulled me into his chest.He held onto me tightly as I cried into his shirt.

"It's not your fault, Emma.It's okay,"

he cooed me and stroked the back of my head.

"It is my fault.It’s all my fault.I messed everything up..."

my voice was muffled because I buried face into his chest.

"No, you don't,"

"Yes, I did,"

"No, look, you’re here and you're okay.That's all that matters,"he said as he tilted my face up.

He stared at me with this look of deep longing, and I thought he was going to kiss me.But instead, he leaned his forehead down and rested it against mine.He breathed me in and I breathed him in, and we just stayed like that for a while.

"I was so scared I was gonna lose you,"he whispered.

"You're never gonna lose me," I said as I gripped the back of his head.

I was leaning my face forward and pulling him in for a kiss, our lips almost touched, but then he pulled away quickly.

"lan?"

"You look really tired.I think I should let you rest for a while,"he said nervously.

"No, I’m fine," I said reassuringly.

"Are you sure?"

still feel really weak, but I'm feeling much better now that

small smile curved up

hand in his and

in the air, something different about

eye contact with me and he threw his gaze down again, staring

my hand

"lan,"

I said slowly.

"Yeah?"

gonna happen

a smile, saying, "Well, your body's gonna recover.Things might be hard at first but you're the strongest girl I know.You'll make it through.You'll be back at school in no time, cheerleading or swimming, and hanging out with your friends.You'll hear from colleges soon and then you'll go to college in the

said all those nice things about me, but he didn’t say

college in the fall

on his face

his face

"Emma..."he started.

"What?"

think we should

words caught me

second I thought I wasn’t hearing him right, but that look on his face was clear

“What do you mean?"

gotten way, way too far," he paused for a moment

in over our heads,What was he saying? Why was he saying all this? Where did this come from? "Are you breaking

I croaked, 

everything that we’ve

I’m not good

he was pulling his hand away,

are you talking about? I love you.And okay, what happened was terrible,

making him act this way, I was determined to snap him out of it.We belong together, we were

of the situation here," he pulled his hand away forcefully and raked his hair with his

I snapped

almost died!" he stood up and yelled, pointing out the fact that we were sitting

me.I can't let that happen!" his breaths were ragged, but he was trying

love you, Emma.I do.I always have and I always will.But my being with you is far too destructive, for you

gonna give up on

some

up.I’m gonna go to college on the east

I won't be

that job and I have to stay

too.I'll go to

me

you see? That's the

"What's the problem?"

decisions off of each other.That's not right.You have to do what’s best for you and I have to do what's best for me.I can’t hold you back and I can’t let you..."

can’t let me what? Hold you back?" I spat

your

not throwing my life away..." I paused and let out

right there,"he stated again. 

you

was too much too fast.Just a week ago, you told me you were pregnant.Then I thought we decided to get rid of the baby.But the next day you called me and said you can’t do it.And then I looked for you all over town and I couldn't find you, and

"That's too fuckin’ much,"

not pregnant anymore.You got your wish.Why can’t we just go back to

my best to hold on to whatever that was left here, but I guess I was holding on too

Is that what you think of

mean it that way,"I shook my head

as

tried to reach for his hand but he

just can't go back to the way they were anymore, Emma.We've been

at me.I was losing him, or maybe I already did.He had decided on this the moment he stepped into the room.It felt like my heart was being ripped apart and torn to pieces.I was so happy minutes