Teacher's Girl (Aflyingwhale)

EMMA’s POV : 

lan was standing at the door.He looked tired, disheveled, and there was this sadness in his eyes.But he was still my lan.

I was so relieved to see him in front of me.The moment I saw him standing there, my heart was doing backflips and I wished I could jump out of this bed and hug him.But I was still too weak, so all I could do was smile at him.  

"Hey, "I said softly.

"Hi,"he moved closer and closed the door behind him.

"How are you feeling—"

"I've missed you," I cut him off quickly.

I missed him so much, I couldn't hold it in anymore.I was so happy to see him, but then I also felt super self- conscious.I had been sitting in this hospital bed for a week.

Sure, I took a shower and all, but I probably looked terrible.I still had scars and bruises all over my face and body from the accident.As if he knew what I was thinking about, that sadness in his eyes was showing again.He put his gaze down as if he was in pain and stalked closer to the bed.

When he reached the side of my bed, he stopped and looked up at me.His eyes were glistening.

"I missed you too,"he paused for a moment and his hand reached for my face.

I leaned my face to the palm of his hand and he squeezed my cheek gently.He then took a deep breath and said, "I’m so sorry.I’m so sorry for everything,"

"No, I’m the one who should apologize..." I shook my head slowly.

My voice cracked when I spoke because I saw how broken he was.

All this time I was thinking about myself and my own feelings, I had forgotten that lan was hurting too.

"Why are you apologizing?"he said softly.

"Because...Because I was selfish and immature.I didn’t handle the situation right.I was confused and I just shut you out...and then I did something very reckless and stupid and I..."I could stop the tears from streaming down my face as I said, "I lost our baby...I'm really sorry,"

I was full on sobbing at this point and lan grabbed me and pulled me into his chest.He held onto me tightly as I cried into his shirt.

"It's not your fault, Emma.It's okay,"

he cooed me and stroked the back of my head.

"It is my fault.It’s all my fault.I messed everything up..."

my voice was muffled because I buried face into his chest.

"No, you don't,"

"Yes, I did,"

"No, look, you’re here and you're okay.That's all that matters,"he said as he tilted my face up.

He stared at me with this look of deep longing, and I thought he was going to kiss me.But instead, he leaned his forehead down and rested it against mine.He breathed me in and I breathed him in, and we just stayed like that for a while.

"I was so scared I was gonna lose you,"he whispered.

"You're never gonna lose me," I said as I gripped the back of his head.

I was leaning my face forward and pulling him in for a kiss, our lips almost touched, but then he pulled away quickly.

"lan?"

"You look really tired.I think I should let you rest for a while,"he said nervously.

"No, I’m fine," I said reassuringly.

"Are you sure?"

feel really weak, but I'm feeling

curved

his and squeezed

about him that I couldn’t put my finger

barely keep eye contact with me and he threw his gaze down again,

my hand and it was a soothing gesture, but somehow it

"lan,"

I said slowly.

"Yeah?"

happen to

know.You'll make it through.You'll be back at

said ‘us’, but he only replied with ‘you’.He said all those nice things about me, but

college in the fall with

planned,"The smile on his

his face away again, avoiding

"Emma..."he started.

"What?"

think we

words caught

a second I thought I wasn’t hearing him right, but that look on his face was

“What do you mean?"

way too far," he paused for a moment and let out a sigh,

he saying? Why was he saying all this? Where did this

I croaked, 

after everything that

I’m not

up to me as he said it, and he

terrible, but

was determined to snap him out of it.We belong together, we were perfect for each

the gravity of the situation here," he pulled his hand away

I

fact that we were sitting on a hospital bed with my

almost gave up your entire life and future for me.I can't let that happen!" his breaths were ragged, but he was trying his best

said, "I love you, Emma.I do.I always have and I always will.But my being

You're just gonna give up on

if we take some time apart to figure everything

through this.We've got our future all planned up.I’m gonna go to college on the

won't be

if I don’t get that job and I

here too.I'll go to

cut me off

see? That's the

"What's the problem?"

you and I have to do what's best for me.I can’t

me what? Hold you back?"

your life away from me,"he

life away..." I paused and let out a deep

right there,"he stated again.

are you talking

you all over town and I couldn't find you, and then your friends called me and told me

"That's too fuckin’ much,"

okay..I lost the baby, okay? I’m not pregnant anymore.You got your wish.Why can’t we

that was left here, but I guess I was holding

this happen? Is that what you think

didn’t mean it that way,"I shook my

as he said,

reach for his hand but

again? Things just can't go back to the way they were anymore, Emma.We've

at me.I was losing him, or maybe I already did.He had decided on this the moment he stepped into the room.It felt like my heart was being ripped apart and torn to pieces.I was