My whole persona is a lie that ingrained itself inside of me through repetitive use. I created this girl and buried Lisa—she and my battered emotions are a thing of the past.
‘’Do you need anything? I can make you a drink or food.’’ The girl is watching me far too closely, even though I still feel weak and clammy, I don’t want her here and fussing. I have never been good at letting people take care of me and especially not someone who isn’t medical staff. No one cared before, so this is a new experience and I feel completely uncomfortable with her probing presence.
‘’I need space and privacy. I want to get up, shower and make some tea. I appreciate what you all did but really, I just want quiet time to vegetate.’’ I sound completely ungrateful and I know it. Mico didn’t need to tend to me. Alexi … I don’t even know where to begin. I just know as soon as I am well he will dump me on a flight to Chicago and be done with me, that is what he planned. I want to get better on my own, and mentally get used to the idea that I am being shipped off to a place I do not want to go back to.
‘‘I understand that.’’ She looks disappointed, weirdly. Mico has left an arsenal of meds by my bed. I vaguely remember him putting them there and whatever Doctor Wilson injected me with has pushed this sickness out the window, so I am good to go and on the mend. I no longer need a nursemaid and I do not want one.
‘’Do you know what the doctor gave me?’’ I query, almost sure Mico wouldn’t let some unqualified quack at me, even if Alexi would. It’s not like I haven’t put a lot of toxic shit in my body in the past, but I am always wary knowing my mother was an addict and I probably have an addictive personality too. I just like to keep track of these things.
‘‘Antibiotics mostly. A high dose to kick whatever it was out of your system and some meds to bring your fever down. He couldn’t give you anything orally, so he went for injection and Alexi said to go for it. Is he your guardian?’’
Again, with the naïve blinking, questioning all his motives and decisions like she doesn’t know what a huge control freak he is and I just shrug.
owns my soul. Thinks
see him care about a girl. He always dates women he doesn’t seem to give a rat’s ass about.’’ She’s smiling oddly, full dimples and fluttering eyelashes and it just irritates me.
anymore. Mildly getting annoyed and impatient with her hanging around me and that just stirs up my bitch side. I heave a heavy sigh to give her the final hint. ‘‘I think I will take a bath, a long soak in the tub. Feel free to leave, I’m a capable swimmer and I’m feeling much better, so I doubt I will pass out and drown.’’ I make to move and ignore that look of complete rejection on her face. Confused why a young teen would want to hang around me. I don’t even like people and especially not little girls with
and food in that order and a plan about what I am going to
feeling refreshed, robed and a tad pink from my bath and DIY beauty treatments for the last hour. Figuring if I pampered the crap out of myself I would both feel better physically, look a hell of a lot better and it would drag
aimlessly into the almost silent surroundings and realise I am still not alone. She never left and she is
plan kitchen in a bid to ignore her and curse her for not fucking off when I made it clear that is what I wanted. I jump when her phone vibrates harshly across the glass coffee table and she flashes a smile my way as our eyes connect when she goes to catch it. Spotting me and acting like she is not imposing on my space at all in any way. I roll my eyes, leaving her to her call and turn to the fridge in a bid to
woes for a few hours. The best way to move on is to put HIM out of my head anytime he pops
open to scan the contents, finding cured ham, cheese and salad for a sandwich and start putting it all out in front of me on the counter. I lean into the open door letting the cool interior fan my face for a moment as I reach for a jar of mayo. I’m still running a mild temperature and enjoying the cool air
here, hold on.’’ She extends the phone to me with a grin and I frown back at her. I guess Mico isn’t convinced I am not dead and at least I can tell him to remove his warden if I get to talk to him. I nudge her back with my bum and dump my new finds on
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