The Carrero Contract - Selling Your Soul (Mafia Romance)

‘So, what now? He just lets me get away with threatening him? I get handed to you and forgotten?’ My voice is harsh yet low and I whisper hoarsely at him, aware that the door is open and you never know what night staff are still close by.

Even I don’t believe that will be the outcome. Alexi is one to exact revenge and punishment for far less crimes. He won’t forget that I pulled his own gun on him and held it to his heart. He would never allow me to go without some sort of reckoning for such gross behaviour. I mean the guy flipped over me throwing salad at him; I have no doubt pointing his gun at his heart is a far worse crime. That comes with a far worse punishment.

‘He knows you weren’t trying to kill him. You were scared, upset … drunk.’ Mico turns his attention back to me and just looks helpless. Smoothing the edge of my bedclothes in an awkward manner and tapping his thumb on the over bed table at the foot. That infuriating Alexi trait and I glance away, pain slicing my soul in two. I hate that he still gets to me when he is not even here.

‘So, what does that mean? I’m forgiven? … life goes on. A pitiful little show from a desperate plaything.’

I told him I loved him … and he destroyed me for it.

‘No.’ Mico inhales heavily, and yet I hold my breath and just eye him in question, tensing on the answer to what I am waking up to.

Where do I go from here? What does Alexi do with me now?

‘Alexi has told me to release you, all debt wiped. You go your way, we go ours. It’s over Camilla. You’re free.’ Mico sighs heavily as though somehow that’s a relief for him rather than me, and I frown trying to take it in.

I don’t know how to react. Everything in me just falls eerily silent and I blink at him in disbelief. Numb inside so suddenly as my mind tries to understand the words that have just come out of his mouth.

‘Just like that? Fifty grand struck off.’ I sound as disbelieving as I feel. Alternate universe flying in to smack me in the head.

I can’t believe that something Alexi held over me to keep me in his clutches is now dismissed as nothing, now that he has broken me. I’m dropped like an unwanted and used toy. I have lost the fun value, I guess. Alexi no longer wants a toy that’s cracked … he has new playthings to ruin. Where is the fun in that?

‘It’s pocket change to him. Take this opportunity to start a new life somewhere far away from the name Carrero. Forget him, forget us and get off this path.’ Mico watches me carefully, that warmth on his face showing through, and his voice reflects a hint of affection for me.

He is my first real friend in life. Pity he comes connected to that bastard cousin of his. Looks enough like him, sounds like him, and when he’s in shadow and his eyes are not as green as they normally are, he can pull expressions just like him.

The tears bite my eyes and that stubborn aching throb inside of me raises its ugly head. Traumatised for so many reasons.

Everything I felt last night washing over me as I become more lucid and in tune with my surroundings. Every memory of what happened almost crystal clear as the minutes roll by and I cringe at my own behaviour.

I am appalled that I genuinely tried to kill myself.

I am so god damn stupid. I swore I would never let a man push me over the edge, and yet here I am. One fucking man undid all of me and sent me spiralling out of control. I am no better than my mother with her pathetic addiction to prick men with control issues and abuse fetishes.

I refuse to keep being a victim in my own tragedy.

He doesn’t have to worry about me showing up anymore. I’m done. Maybe I just needed a knock to the head

determined to pick up and find that cold part of my soul that shields me like

no man fuck with her. Not

worse than Carrero and I

bastard cousin and just ponders me

to hide the grimace

to land in my lap, a heavy thud of a weighty packet and I flinch with

behind the empty smile and I glance from him

has never given me reason to be so

notes jam-packed into such a small vessel. It’s crammed full. There has to be thousands here. Fifty at least, and I blink up at Mico in complete shock. Stunned by the gesture, mouth drying

me

it’s your foot up to a new

mouth pushes everything else aside and I let the flap drop. Stunned goes to

nastily. Every single ounce of flickering hope dies right inside of me. And I toss it back to Mico at the foot of the bed with a look of disgust for even letting me touch it. Feeling dirty as though he’s infected me with a

back to him and tell him … I survived on my own my whole life; I don’t

my venomous pitch

I start

peaks, sitting up higher in bed as that fire in my belly builds like a volcano waiting to erupt, and

He can fuck off. I don’t need anything from him ever again. I will never accept another helping hand from that arsehole, prick faced, son of

about two levels louder and higher, as rage consumes me, and he just continues to stand there like the silent black statue I know he can be. Unfazed by bat shit crazy Camilla! It

now. I need to hold onto that and let it feed and fuel my willpower. He may have knocked me down to dust, but I have the know-how to mix it back up to cement and rebuild my fortress. I have done

not what this is …’ Mico breaks into my rambling

first real one, but I am doing the only thing I know how to do in life to protect myself. I am running away. Emotionally, mentally and when I am well—physically. I don’t need other humans touching my life anymore. I am better when they are all gone. It has been proven time

enveloping that face and trying to soften my resolve, but I raise

thankful for all you ever did, but you and him … I just need you both gone. I don’t need you standing guard by my bed or waiting for me to change my mind. It’s over—all of it. It’s a concussion and I’m not suicidal. I was drunk and stupid and caught in his spell … it’s not the case anymore and I won’t be

eyes focused and I try not to imprint the memory of his face in my mind as the one human being who was really decent towards me. I know I am putting myself first and this is the right thing. It

I don’t have friends.

have to remember

is a battle he will not win. I won’t back down and all of

picks up the money and holds it for a moment, weighing it as though he’s thinking of trying again. Defeat crosses his face as he thinks better of

with a more determined half smile and locks his eyes back on mine with a newly

in any way, at any time … I’m not my cousin Camilla. I’m your friend and I will