Alexi is acting differently, treating me differently. Yet, he is still the same as he always was to everyone else. Seeing glimpses of him like this is seeing glimpses into the person he is around Mico and his family when no one is around to be Mafia King for. The person Mico will openly question and argue with in private. Not the sadistic overbearing arsehole he is in public with him.

The club is sparse right now because of the time of day and all the people in here are either non-important tenders or Carrero men on security detail. Carreros he knows well, mostly. Alexi is relaxed and off guard and not keeping up the manner of brooding Boss. He’s blanking me, but yet not bothering to put on any act with me in the room either.

This can’t just be about running his club, can it?

Watching him joke and laugh with his cousin reminds me of this morning, before I put him in a foul mood. Seeing hints of humour and good vibes I wonder if I have crossed some weird line into his inner circle; that secret club, which his brother and cousins belong to, and possibly Sophie and that girl from his apartment that never saw the demon in him. Seeing the second layer to his personality that stays hidden from anyone he doesn’t trust and realising I crossed over somehow. I’m seeing hints of why the women in his family think he’s someone else. Why they like him.

It’s mind-blowing.

Alexi only lets family in, so I’m not sure if I am even close to being right. I’m not his friend, not someone he needs to let in to run his club, and he definitely doesn’t trust me. I’m overthinking this. I must be. He’s maybe just having a good day and kicking back a little. I maybe just never saw it before, when I was all caught up in matters of the heart and fighting him every step of the way. I just cannot shake the thought that this means something in regard to him and me.

When he gave me the gun, he said, ‘I trust you.’ and I dismissed it because, to be honest, all he does is mess with your head and play games.

Nothing he ever says should be taken as gospel. I ignored it because I thought he was trying to manoeuvre me to do what he wanted, but sitting here now, watching him, it’s like a little light bulb going off.

These months apart, something in him stopped and re-evaluated me for whatever reason, and I am yet to find out what happened in my absence. Something made him rethink bringing me back and now it hits home that maybe he has started to believe he can really trust me. I know he didn’t before. He told me as much. Sat here, thinking this through, I realise that his whole opinion of what and who he thought I was has genuinely been altered. He wasn’t lying when he said it.

Alexi looks at me differently now. I just don’t know why.

I don’t know how to feel about that, it’s like being hit by a cold blast of icy water in the face, completely unexpected. I am not getting a new and reformed Alexi at all. I am getting the side to him that people like Sophie get to see, only still with the added lingering Boss complex. He may not have strong feelings for me in the way I had for him, but he has changed his attitude on what he thinks of me and this is the result. I think Alexi is potentially trying to let me in under his mask. He’s trying to make amends in his weird, overbearing and controlling arsehole way.

He won’t punish me for earlier … I am confident of that now that I’m really dissecting this. It’s why he keeps simmering before reacting towards me. He’s trying to treat me differently than he did before. The pauses and looking away, clenching his jaw – all signs of thinking before he acts towards me. All hints that he is trying to be different ….for me.

‘Alexi! It’s Gino.’ Jackson calls out to him across the floor, pulling my brain back to the present and all of us turn and look up to see Mr Smiley himself walking in the front door, beaming from ear to ear and my heart sinks. All my thoughts fluttering away like paper on the breeze at this demonic shit stirrer walking in.

He’s good at goading his brother, he gets off on it, and so I am staying out of the way. I value my health and I don’t want a return of possessive crazy in Alexi when Gino tries to rile him. He’s already angry at me and giving me the obvious cold shoulder, so I don’t want to antagonise that.

Even if he is treating me differently, he is pissed as hell and still capable of ripping me down with words and vile looks. What he did to Joanne is proof of that. She is probably upstairs sobbing into her own lap, and even though I dislike her immensely, I can empathise with how that feels. Alexi can make you feel worthless with absolute minimal effort and doesn’t even break a sweat over it. I doubt he has ever experience remorse, to be honest.

they have on is the same. Black and turquoise t-shirts over washed out jeans with white trainers. I wonder if that’s a weird twin thing, drawn to the same kinds of clothes, colours … and

each other warmly, makes me gawp and just enforces

an alternate reality—one in which Alexi has a human side and knows how to smile.

Ewwww!

pen as I jump and realise I have been staring into space as I thought this out. I recoil into my seat when he moves towards me

you doing? Books? Paperwork? You look very pretty today and it’s awesome to see you back.’ Gino is killing me

yelp at him defensively, raising my palms, momentarily phased by the resemblance to Alexi

across the room, no hint of anything readable, and Gino moves

piss her off, Lex? Even the lookalikes are getting a no go warning.’ He laughs, jesting, and I right myself in my seat and smooth down

her,’ Alexi answers smoothly, watching me without a flicker of remorse or emotion and I just stare straight back at him, mirroring his expression. I

let Gino touch me, in a very psychotic way, and despite not belonging to him now, it’s still in the back of

won’t rock that

I retort haughtily, aiming my remark at him, and that gets a smile from Mico this time. Dodging the real issue between us and going back to me answering Gino. Alexi frowns so deeply I’m

real sore point with him

as Alexi throws him a foul glare too, and then hits the back of his hand into Mico’s abdomen, making him flinch. Childishly boyish and acting like a regular human

think I must be high or something— this

the terms of our arrangement to Mico, but I guess being his second in command is a sign he may also be his closest friend and completely in his trust. More so than his twin in some

have you been yelling at Red for this time?’ Gino saunters back to Alexi and shoves him backwards so he lands his butt back on the stool ungracefully and throws a swing at Gino with his foot. Gino dodges it expertly and tries for a palm slap at Alexi’s head; he’s

walking disaster who has no concept of personal safety!’ He turns his back on me on the stool and grabs Gino in a headlock, pulling him with him and the pair burst into an immature wrestling

when he leans back trying to take a

to be muzzled.’ Dad voice on and he aggressively shoves them both apart, to stop the shenanigans. I am guessing this is not new

with the craziness of what I am watching. Alexi just regressed twenty years in the space of five minutes, and this guy sitting here … complete stranger to me. I feel like I don’t know him

from popping out of my head. I can guarantee no one outside of the Carrero inner circle gets

the hell is this

to each other, with the same unamused expression, as they glare across at one another behind Mico’s back; Completely identical

thought, just a simple reaction, I impulsively giggle out loud at the craziness of it

me as we connect intensely, a strange weird buzz of something in that look that makes my heart flutter unexpectedly

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