The Carrero Effect - Falling for the Boss (Billionaire CEO)

“Physical pain goes away, Jake … Don’t focus on injuries that healed in weeks.” I flop back down, the irritation rising to strangle out my mellow drunkenness. Dismissing it. I don’t need this right now. My insides start to clench with anxiety.

“What do you mean?” I sense his shift in position, so he’s looking at me.

Does he really have no clue?

The physical side means nothing in the grand scheme of things; it’s the emotional mess left inside of me that I don’t want Jake to see.

“He broke my arm and ribs; he almost broke my nose and he gave me a concussion that had me in hospital for days. But it all healed in time.” I don’t even remember how that felt.

Why am I telling him this? Alcohol is like a lubricant for my goddamn mouth.

I’m drunk and somehow it doesn’t feel as bad saying it out loud when I am this detached from normal Emma. It’s like I’m talking about someone else; sad little Emma back home in Chicago, so far away. He needs to understand that none of it means anything anymore. I’m not her.

Jake makes an odd noise; I think it’s a grunt, a snort—maybe a moan. I don’t know, but it’s not a good noise, it’s a reaction to what I have said, and I talk fast to cover it.

“I mean, I don’t remember the physical pain. You should forget it too,” I say it so matter of fact, yet softly, trying to fix the point I was making. It makes me sick in reality and tears sting my eyes despite my shrugging it off.

“How can I forget it?” he looks at me as though I have two heads and it pushes me into over-sensitive and defensively emotional Anytime we broach this subject, we fight. I don’t want that right now. I can’t handle this tonight.

“Same way I do; push it out of your head. Ignore it. Lock it away deep down and don’t talk about what he did to me.” I try for a shrug, but at this angle it’s more of a squirm because it IS upsetting me on some level.

he sounds different—afraid. I guess he has been trying to figure this out

lump forms in my throat and threatens

mom came home.” I stare at the ceiling of the car, listening to another version of Emma, talking out loud, detached

he sounds relieved, but also sad for me, and I don’t like it. I pull myself up

emotion from deep down suddenly jumping out. He spins his head to look me in the

what?” he frowns

to force away the spinning sensation. “Don’t look at me in that way, like I’m some sort of damaged broken glass who is too fragile for life.” My feet have been

he’s angry and it’s unexpected. I wasn’t prepared for pissed Jake, but maybe that’s better than sad, sorry Jake. I don’t want sad sorry.

broke my bones for it, but you know what? He didn’t manage to rape me; he

come back?”

down my cheeks, oblivious until this second. I’m furious and I’m yelling, but I don’t even know why I’m yelling at Jake. He’s not the one who did it. Sleazy Ray is the one who did it, my mom’s creepy ass boyfriends and their wandering hands. I’m shaking with

hauls me toward him, trying to wrap his arms around me, but I don’t like it. I’m in memory mode and men’s unwelcome touch firing through my brain. I don’t want him to see me cry over this, not over these

it … Stop it …” I’m resisting him, but he’s stronger and faster and I’m still drunk

of control. I hate this. I’m not weak. I’m not vulnerable. The

in his lap in a blink and he’s all around me. Strong, tight arms and firm hands, trying to calm me so I finally give

inappropriately, there had been many hands and each one had met my sheer fire and fury. Ray hadn’t been the first man to hit me either yet despite all of it, I never allowed myself to be

you?” I choke; it’s what I always fear about people knowing. It’s one of the reasons I left Chicago. I hated people knowing what happened, looking at me that way. My friends knowing that my mother never protected me against the myriad of perverted fucks she brought home, refused to acknowledge it instead. Why she couldn’t be stronger and protect me? Sarah never looked at me that way, she knew, even then, that I was made of stronger stuff. I look after Sarah now, it’s my way of proving I’m stronger and somehow showing myself how my mother should have

it.” His voice is sincere, but I’m confused, I don’t know what he means, I’m too distraught to think straight. The tears still rolling down my face while his forehead rests against mine, his hand cupping my cheek and thumb trailing across my skin softly. His arm around me so tightly while keeping me against