When did this happen? When did my feelings spill beyond friendship this badly?
I’ve seen him with other women …
He’s always been this way, when did I start reacting like this? Breaking my heart over him being his Casanova self.
“Tell the others, after I’m gone, I had to go away for a couple of days.” He’s picking up his suitcase, his body stiff with tension and the hatred oozing between us is unbearable.
“What reason shall I give?” I sound alien. This fake politeness between us, thick in the stifling air. We’re both exceptionally good at cold and polite.
“I don’t give a shit, Emma … The truth for all I care.” He flexes his eyebrows sardonically.
That was a blow … it hurt; it knocked the wind out of my sails. I move back as he stalks out with suitcase in hand, he slides his shades on, despite it being duller in here and he doesn’t even look at me; he seems beyond pissed.
Should I follow him? Should I stay here?
Stop hovering, Emma, it’s pathetic.
don’t know what to do, this isn’t me, not anymore. He’s up the hall and out the door in the blink of an eye, obviously determined to leave. I hesitate and follow, I’m not sure why, but I suddenly need to
I want him to slide his glasses over my eyes, the way he always
cry as sheer hysteria and panic consumes me. I catch sight of him near the
going, it’s not a ruse. He really wants to
my room at full speed. I run like my ass is on fire and don’t stop until I slam down onto my bed and sob every bottled up, deep wracking emotion, right up from the tips of my toes in a spewing out of desperate
there, but I can’t stop; it’s like a damn has opened and the floodgates break. Everything I’ve ever held back slips out with the pain I’ve always avoided. I can’t breathe, it’s suffocating and
Jake’s breaking my heart.
***
the shadows of the water on my ceiling, I’m still and numb. As sensation as though I’m floating on the ocean directly, but I’m still laid on my bed. It’s night and dark… I haven’t
it could do this to me … release so much … doubt … insecurity … pain. I haven’t sobbed properly since I was five years old; back then I didn’t cry over heartache, I only knew the tears from physical pain and
to breaking down over the way my life has turned out. The way I am.
she break this way over Ray Vanquis
he never left me in that way. I never experienced her kind of heartache. Ray inflicted more than heartbreak on
of that monster
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