When did this happen? When did my feelings spill beyond friendship this badly?
I’ve seen him with other women …
He’s always been this way, when did I start reacting like this? Breaking my heart over him being his Casanova self.
“Tell the others, after I’m gone, I had to go away for a couple of days.” He’s picking up his suitcase, his body stiff with tension and the hatred oozing between us is unbearable.
“What reason shall I give?” I sound alien. This fake politeness between us, thick in the stifling air. We’re both exceptionally good at cold and polite.
“I don’t give a shit, Emma … The truth for all I care.” He flexes his eyebrows sardonically.
That was a blow … it hurt; it knocked the wind out of my sails. I move back as he stalks out with suitcase in hand, he slides his shades on, despite it being duller in here and he doesn’t even look at me; he seems beyond pissed.
Should I follow him? Should I stay here?
Stop hovering, Emma, it’s pathetic.
of an eye, obviously determined to leave. I hesitate and follow, I’m not sure why, but I suddenly need
I blink and shield them from view and suddenly I want him to slide his glasses over my eyes, the way he always does. I want him to brush my hair back and take care of me. I want the Jake I know and care about, not this cruel cold
of him near the rear of the boat, he’s following one of the crew down
my god. He really is going, it’s not a ruse.
leave, so I turn on my heel and run back to my room at full speed. I run like my ass is on fire and don’t stop until I slam down onto my bed and sob every bottled up, deep wracking emotion, right up from the tips of
opened and the floodgates break. Everything I’ve ever held back slips out with the pain I’ve always avoided. I can’t breathe, it’s suffocating and unbearable. It’s excruciating and every cell of my body
Jake’s breaking my heart.
***
though I’m floating on the ocean directly, but I’m still laid on my bed.
I haven’t sobbed properly since I was five years old; back then I didn’t cry over heartache, I only knew the tears from physical pain and illness. This is so much
has to be the worst pain I have ever experienced, it leads to breaking down over the way my life has turned out. The way I am. I think of my mother and wonder
over Ray Vanquis when
her kind of heartache. Ray inflicted more than
thought of that monster
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