When did this happen? When did my feelings spill beyond friendship this badly?
I’ve seen him with other women …
He’s always been this way, when did I start reacting like this? Breaking my heart over him being his Casanova self.
“Tell the others, after I’m gone, I had to go away for a couple of days.” He’s picking up his suitcase, his body stiff with tension and the hatred oozing between us is unbearable.
“What reason shall I give?” I sound alien. This fake politeness between us, thick in the stifling air. We’re both exceptionally good at cold and polite.
“I don’t give a shit, Emma … The truth for all I care.” He flexes his eyebrows sardonically.
That was a blow … it hurt; it knocked the wind out of my sails. I move back as he stalks out with suitcase in hand, he slides his shades on, despite it being duller in here and he doesn’t even look at me; he seems beyond pissed.
Should I follow him? Should I stay here?
Stop hovering, Emma, it’s pathetic.
know what to do, this isn’t me, not anymore. He’s up the hall and out the door in the blink of an eye, obviously determined to leave. I hesitate and follow, I’m not sure why, but I
him to slide his glasses over my eyes, the way he always does. I want him to brush my hair back
catch sight of him near the rear of the boat, he’s following one of the crew down to the awaiting
it’s not a ruse. He really
spot as I watch him descend into the waiting boat. I can’t bear to see him leave, so I turn on my heel and run back to my room at full speed.
but I can’t stop; it’s like a damn has opened and the floodgates break. Everything I’ve ever held back slips out with the pain I’ve always avoided. I can’t
Jake’s breaking my heart.
***
though I’m floating on the ocean directly, but I’m still laid on my
… insecurity … pain. I haven’t sobbed properly since I was five years old; back then I didn’t cry over heartache, I only knew the tears from physical pain and illness. This
it leads to breaking down over the way my life has turned out. The way I am. I think of my mother and wonder
way over
way. I never experienced her kind of heartache. Ray inflicted more than heartbreak on her. I have no clue what to call
thought of that monster
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