When did this happen? When did my feelings spill beyond friendship this badly?
I’ve seen him with other women …
He’s always been this way, when did I start reacting like this? Breaking my heart over him being his Casanova self.
“Tell the others, after I’m gone, I had to go away for a couple of days.” He’s picking up his suitcase, his body stiff with tension and the hatred oozing between us is unbearable.
“What reason shall I give?” I sound alien. This fake politeness between us, thick in the stifling air. We’re both exceptionally good at cold and polite.
“I don’t give a shit, Emma … The truth for all I care.” He flexes his eyebrows sardonically.
That was a blow … it hurt; it knocked the wind out of my sails. I move back as he stalks out with suitcase in hand, he slides his shades on, despite it being duller in here and he doesn’t even look at me; he seems beyond pissed.
Should I follow him? Should I stay here?
Stop hovering, Emma, it’s pathetic.
what to do, this isn’t me, not anymore. He’s up the hall and out the door in the blink of an eye, obviously determined to leave. I hesitate and follow, I’m not sure why, but I suddenly need to cling to his presence, the last moments of him. I
he always does. I want him to brush my hair back and take care of me. I want the Jake I know and care about, not this cruel cold man who doesn’t
near the rear of the boat, he’s following one of the crew down to the awaiting
god. He really is going, it’s not a ruse.
him leave, so I turn on my heel and run back to my room at full speed. I run like my ass is on fire and don’t stop until I slam down onto my bed and sob every
but I can’t stop; it’s like a damn has opened and the floodgates break. Everything I’ve ever held back slips out with the pain I’ve always avoided. I can’t breathe, it’s suffocating and unbearable. It’s excruciating and
Jake’s breaking my heart.
***
my ceiling, I’m still and numb. As sensation as though I’m floating on the ocean
… pain. I haven’t
I have ever experienced, it leads to breaking down over the way my life has turned out. The
over Ray Vanquis when
experienced her kind of heartache. Ray inflicted more than heartbreak on her. I have
thought of that monster
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