The Carrero Effect - Falling for the Boss (Billionaire CEO)

Chapter 89

“Teenage Emma, only less aggressive.” She shrugs. “And yet so much changed … emotional … open, and honest … even warm.” She giggles with an apologetic expression.

“You make me sound like I was awful to be friends with.” I chide softly, guilt coursing through me again. I lower my lashes, ashamed in a way that I’ve been this way toward her for so long. So blind to it.

“You have your charms, Ems … You’ve no idea the allure you have, even when you’re acting the ice maiden.” She smiles. “There’s always a hint of something more in you … Like it’s just out of reach; I can see why Jake would pursue it … That elusive prize, always dangling out there, that door sitting ajar, waiting to be opened.” She grins at me, my face flushing with her version of how she sees me. It’s so disconnected with who I am. Who I think I am, and my mind reels.

Is she right? Does Jake see something worth chasing, worth holding on for, and trying to figure out?

“My messed-up brain.” I grimace sadly, she smiles back at me gently. Her eyes softening with understanding.

“Have you ever just come out and told him how you feel? He may surprise you.” She coaxes, placing a hand over mine once again.

Why have I never done this? With Sarah I mean, this female bonding, sharing our problems, being real and letting someone else figure out your heartbreak with you. That shoulder to lean on.

Because I’m incapable of showing people that I’m capable of being hurt, defensively protecting myself, always hiding. Jake has stripped me of my armor, slowly and surely.

“It’s too hard.” I admit sadly. “I’m scared all the time, Sarah … Scared of what he’ll say … Scared of what he’s thinking … feeling … He’s complicated, he sleeps around … He has women at every city we go to, always at arm’s length … He doesn’t do love and I couldn’t bear his rejection.” The words slice me open; I can’t think about these women he has sex with, the pain is too acute. She’s watching me carefully, sipping her cocoa and thinking.

“You think he wants to be with that girl though; Marissa?”

tears tug at my eyes and I push them down. I shift to cross my legs under the throw and

shake my head and shrug, I really am bewildered about all of that, I’ve barely let my

happy … He closed up … Jake isn’t ready for that kind of commitment. He

where all my self-doubt

always gnawing at me, reminding me how worthless I am, in the grand scheme of things. Having a father reject you and a mother

it down hard, Sarah sighs heavily, mirroring how I feel; there isn’t anything much to

reflective

her briefly, she’s doing well, her nurse is taking care of her.” She smiles at me gently. Sarah text me this all before and hadn’t

she mention her new beau?” I grit my teeth and slide the mug on the table, full of too many hot drinks with nausea rising. Sarah raises an eyebrow, then lets my comment pass. I haven’t told her about Ray …

going to talk to her?” she asks instead, her bright blue eyes focused on my face. I’m avoiding it, looking at my hands in my lap, and

her again? How can I ever

there anymore. I have so many emotions

my mind. I briefly told her, via text, and the odd call, about Sophie when all

stay with her new family without fear of being returned home. Her father will be prosecuted. She’s in counseling …” I sigh at Sarah. I have been keeping tabs

That damned Carrero charm.

and spot on that I snap my eyes to her, inhaling lightly. I want to deny it, want to brush it off like old Emma would, return to cold and controlled, “no one hurts me”,

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