The Carrero Effect - Falling for the Boss (Billionaire CEO)

Chapter 89

“Teenage Emma, only less aggressive.” She shrugs. “And yet so much changed … emotional … open, and honest … even warm.” She giggles with an apologetic expression.

“You make me sound like I was awful to be friends with.” I chide softly, guilt coursing through me again. I lower my lashes, ashamed in a way that I’ve been this way toward her for so long. So blind to it.

“You have your charms, Ems … You’ve no idea the allure you have, even when you’re acting the ice maiden.” She smiles. “There’s always a hint of something more in you … Like it’s just out of reach; I can see why Jake would pursue it … That elusive prize, always dangling out there, that door sitting ajar, waiting to be opened.” She grins at me, my face flushing with her version of how she sees me. It’s so disconnected with who I am. Who I think I am, and my mind reels.

Is she right? Does Jake see something worth chasing, worth holding on for, and trying to figure out?

“My messed-up brain.” I grimace sadly, she smiles back at me gently. Her eyes softening with understanding.

“Have you ever just come out and told him how you feel? He may surprise you.” She coaxes, placing a hand over mine once again.

Why have I never done this? With Sarah I mean, this female bonding, sharing our problems, being real and letting someone else figure out your heartbreak with you. That shoulder to lean on.

Because I’m incapable of showing people that I’m capable of being hurt, defensively protecting myself, always hiding. Jake has stripped me of my armor, slowly and surely.

“It’s too hard.” I admit sadly. “I’m scared all the time, Sarah … Scared of what he’ll say … Scared of what he’s thinking … feeling … He’s complicated, he sleeps around … He has women at every city we go to, always at arm’s length … He doesn’t do love and I couldn’t bear his rejection.” The words slice me open; I can’t think about these women he has sex with, the pain is too acute. She’s watching me carefully, sipping her cocoa and thinking.

“You think he wants to be with that girl though; Marissa?”

at my eyes and I push them down. I shift to cross my legs under the throw and cradle my cup closer, in a bid to regain my equilibrium, feeling like the warmth is soothing me somehow. I can’t analyze what is there between

she pushes gently, but I just shake my head and shrug, I really am

ready for that kind of commitment. He can’t even commit to a girl,

that where all

… My self-doubt has always existed, always gnawing at me, reminding me how worthless I am, in the grand scheme of things. Having a

feel; there isn’t anything much to say on this subject. We’ve dissected it all endlessly through

reflective silence, Sarah

trying to contact you directly.” She pauses, hesitant for a second. “I spoke to her briefly, she’s doing well, her nurse is taking care of her.” She smiles at me gently. Sarah text me this all

raises an eyebrow, then lets my comment pass. I haven’t told her about Ray … About what happened in Chicago. I will, I promise myself to tell Sarah everything, just not

blue eyes focused on my face. I’m avoiding

talk to her again? How can I ever

past … Her past. It’s one huge ball of string waiting to unravel, and I don’t have the energy or the inclination to go there anymore. I have so many emotions about my mother,

as though reading my mind. I briefly told her, via

being returned home. Her father will be prosecuted. She’s in counseling …” I sigh at Sarah. I have been keeping tabs on Sophie via Leila, Jake’s mother and via Sophie herself, in

That damned Carrero charm.

I snap my eyes to her, inhaling lightly. I want to deny it, want to

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