The Carrero Effect - Falling for the Boss (Billionaire CEO)

I stare at the folded paper in my hand, with shaking fingers, the envelope discarded, now lying on the bed with his neat scroll on the front. I take an eternity to run my fingers across the neat lettering, pain shooting through me from every angle. I inhale deeply steadying my nerves, unfolding the thick cream paper, biting my lip. I drag courage from somewhere telling myself I should dive in and do it.

Emma,

I’m sorry, bambino, so extremely sorry. I don’t even know what writing to you is going to achieve, but I had to do something. I saw them packing up every piece of you and I had to stop myself from tearing it out of their hands and holding onto it all. I can’t bear it. I feel like everything they remove is a slash across my heart.

I know I don’t deserve you, I don’t deserve your forgiveness, but I’ll do anything to have it, anything to get you back. I made a stupid mistake, I wasn’t thinking clearly, and I wanted to lash out at everyone.

I’ll never hurt you again, I swear, just give me a chance to

fight for you. I’ll never give you reason to doubt me again.

I hurt the one person I love and need more than anything in the world.

I won’t ever make that mistake again, being here without you is a torture, so unbearable I can’t breathe. I can’t get you out of my head or the way you looked at me when I told you what I’d done. It was like a knife being thrust deep into my chest and turned and I know what I’ve done. You don’t need to punish me, baby, nothing is as bad as this and no punishment could come close to the pain I’m in right now without you. I’ve never felt regret like this before and never intend to earn it again.

Please. Talk to me. I just want to see you, look at you, and have you near.

I’m slowly going insane without you, baby. I need you. I love you and I can’t, won’t lose you. I’ll fix this.

Just give me a chance.

Jake x

Tears roll down my cheeks dripping onto the paper and I watch in agony as some of the ink from his signed name bleeds across the surface. I watch in dismay as his name becomes a blur of stained grey and throw the letter on the bed as though it’s burned me.

because I miss him, so damn much and I’m literally dying of pain. Everything he wrote makes me ache and want to see him more. I’m so confused; in turmoil about what to do. His words have cut me to the core with longing and anger, so much love from one man. Yet he’s

pull my phone out of the bedside drawer and switch it back on. I turned it off days ago, after his third text, unable to cope anymore, hoping to find relief in the silence. I needed a break to be alone and process things. It bursts back into life and I try to steady the inner wave of tears and fear waiting to drown me. I need to do this if I have any desire to move forward in any way. I

phone is fully caught up, I flick to my texts from him, opening the oldest one unread in

you and I miss you xx I’m sorry, baby. J

quickly, like ripping off a Band-Aid fast, trying to avoid the overemotional response to each

if it’s to just yell at me and tell me you hate

for a moment before I shake myself out of it. I notice under the third message is one more; a new one received when my phone was

What you need from

tear to my collection, I sigh, biting back the tremble on my bottom

got every bunch of flowers, every piece of jewelry, and every gift sent back to me. Emails ignored; texts ignored. You’re not giving me any

pinpoint. I should be angry with the way he’s text me but strangely I’m not. He should be groveling at my feet for my

ignores all and comes pounding after me regardless. The Jake who came after me to Chicago despite me saying no. The Jake who always pursues

Maybe I do. Maybe it’s partly what I need from him, that instinctual way he

my personal account quickly, before I can linger on my

Carrero has sent

Carrero has sent

way to resist letting you in, you’re my angel baby. The light in my world, the reason I want to be better, you’re in everything I look at, you’re always around me even when you’re not here. You’re the voice in my head that tells me to be a better man.

hits me like a punch to the heart; painful yet not. Memories of how sweet he can be, how attentive, funny,

the insane depths to which I miss him. Each lyric clawing at me reminding me of all the good in him and the way he shows me love, the way he’s always expressed his devotion without any hesitation, it hurts so

while before I have the strength to read his last email. Thoughts of his touch, his kiss, his heart like

machine a dozen times. I hate that you don’t want to talk to me. Just tell me what to do, baby … Please. I’m literally on my knees begging here. Xxxx J

is I’ve done it. I’ve read them, despite the emotional turmoil, the tears, and the ache to see him and yet,

or what I need from him. I’ve never been here before, never dealt with this kind of heart ache, or been in a situation where I’ve freely given my trust