“I’m sorry.” I fumble the words out, embarrassed, my eyes hit my fingers in my lap, and I twist at the hem of my very short dress.

Great way to show the man who hurt you that you’re so in control and worth every inch of fight to get you back. Especially when you drunk dial him, need his rescue, and then throw up at his feet.

Classy, Emma … just classy.

“Don’t be, I’m glad I was the one there to take care of you. It was a drunk Emma I’ve never met before.” His eyes linger this time and I can feel them boring into me a little too closely, his scrutiny making me feel more awkward. I wish the ground would just open below my feet and swallow me whole.

Sarah wanders over toward us and turns green at the sight of food. Jake waves a mug at her to offer coffee, his eyes finally giving me respite, but she just shakes her head.

“No, really, no. If I take a sip, I’ll hurl. I really need to

get home and get sorted out before I start the lunch rush

at work. I can call a cab, so you don’t have to …” Her eyes are flicking between Jake and I and the obvious tension between us.

“No, it’s fine. I want to give Emma some space to get herself together and my driver is out for now anyway. I’ll take you; I’ll just go get my shoes.” Jake pushes off the counter, glancing at me quickly, and saunters off toward his guest rooms. I can’t help but watch his strong and fit body swagger, like a man with too much sex appeal, crossing the room and that ass; sighing as I watch it go.

When did he start keeping clothes down there?

“You’re not coming home anytime soon I take it?” Sarah looks me up and down warily, a slight hint of hope on her face and a smirk at where I’ve been staring.

What is with all these looks?

“No. I think I need to stay for a bit and just see what I feel.” I turn away from her, my mind getting itself out of the gutter with the memory of Jake’s ass. I down two aspirin with the water and hold the pack to her but she just shakes them away.

“Don’t close down on him. Give him a chance. No one’s perfect, babe.” She runs a hand over my hair and tweaks my cheek. “The guy obviously adores you. I mean, who else comes tearing across Manhattan to find his ex because he’s worried she’s in danger?”

“I’m not his ex!” I snap a little too quickly, the outburst surprising me. I’ve not even begun to contemplate what we are, but I am not that, not if he loves me.

“Well then, seems there’s a small part of you that acknowledges it’s not over.” She smirks at me, knowingly, then moves away as we hear Jake coming back. “Tell Leila I said thanks for a memorable night.” Sarah smiles as she moves to go.

it reacts with goosebumps and flashes of flutterings deep in my stomach, my

Pathetic.

mutters it so softly, almost sounding painful. He walks off placing a hand on the small of Sarah’s back, guiding her toward the door with an unreadable backward glance toward me. I’ve no idea how to feel about any of this and

throws me a wave, and blows a kiss with a wink as I watch them leave; a strange sense of nerves

so I’m going to head down, babes.

say, picking at a croissant on the plate, having no desire to eat. My stomach is making

hands on her hips and I

it from there.” I can’t meet her eyes as she hovers beside me. Part of me feels like I’m being weak for being here after only a week of separation. I know Leila and Sarah are both

the brain department but I can promise you that he’s

watch as her

been breaking my heart since I was fifteen. I doubt he’ll ever sort out the mess in his mind long enough to let me in. I just need to learn to get over him,” she shrugs, shoes now on and turns to me with a resigned expression, meeting my gaze confidently. “Daniel is always going to be the first boy I fell in love with, he was my first kiss. He was my first sex too; not even Jake knows about that time so please don’t tell him. I’m sure he would kill Daniel for it, but he’s so far down that route of woman hating and mistrust and emotionally fucked-up that I doubt we’ll ever be anything more.” She shrugs and continues getting ready, sliding her coat on. I blanche at her

first time having

can’t … Just

I saw another side to him and stupidly fell for it. I was already gooey eyed over him because he’d kissed me senseless a couple of weeks before my party. He was eighteen and just as handsome as he is now, all muscle and big grins of self-confidence.” She sighs, dreamily, almost as though lost in memories of a boy she once knew. Then, snapping out of it, she picks up her bag and walks toward me with a tear

seem to get my head

sure I was ready before he did it. It didn’t hurt, and I even had an orgasm. So, I guess he was my first of those too.

but I can’t help it. I’ve seen the way Daniel is with women and none of those images

be in love with her after

got that by Jake

it hurt like hell, but I wanted to play it cool and act mature. I think I died a little every day after that, and then the

would be why

irritation rises from deep inside of me; angry that Daniel could dismiss something this important to Leila without a care. She shrugs, nonchalantly, rummaging through the contents of her bag until she locates a lip balm and

really did think this was it, a whole night of crazy passion and drunken fun and I was so freaking happy. I realized how crazy about him I still was. We were locked in a room for eight hours solid and having sex, multiple times, making me orgasm like crazy. The best night of my life. Come morning, he gets up before I’m awake and sneaks off, doesn’t speak to me for months, won’t return my calls, nothing. I only started being okay with him

to figure out how I would’ve felt if it had

doesn’t bear thinking

man hungry, trying to get him out of my system. My brother, Tom, and Jake came and dragged my ass back home, and put me on lock down for

walk to her,

know what he’s like. I know him.” Her eyes hold a thin veil of moisture and her lip trembles a little as she fights hard with her internal emotions; small tears in the

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