We sit across from each other in the busy little barbecue bistro, the used plates laid between us, and I feel a hundred times better if not a little too stuffed. I sort of regret the pie and donuts, but I had a point to make to him and I was in no backing down mood.
The walk here, the food, and the time to silently ponder it all, has brought me down to a more even level of insanity. He’s kept his distance, not touched me, or talked, but let me think, until I had some sense of calm; outwardly at least. The food has almost annihilated my thoughts of anything else. My hunger was so ravenous, that I focused completely on demolishing the food he bought me, trying to ignore the surprising yet affectionate expression he had while watching me eat. He hasn’t dared to touch anything on the plates I requested but has stuck to his own as though he knows that in doing so, I’ll most likely turn feral.
This hunger is rather worrying. I hope it doesn’t stay this way for the next eight months!
This place is one of my favorites for take-out.
Being surrounded by normal people doing normal things is easing the chaos in my head. If I can pretend that things are not as bad as they seem, I can act like none of it is happening to me right now.
“You look better.” Jake cuts into my train of thought, and I glance up at him. He’s lounging in the wooden seat, watching me, while folding a napkin into a tiny square. The fidgeting tell-tale sign that he’s not as laid back and comfortable as he appears but is mulling over the emotional turmoil in his own head.
“I just needed to let everything sink in. It’s been a lot to deal with the last few days. To be honest, I have no way of coping with it all at once.” I push away my plate, now
and no longer wanting the smell wafting up at
breakdown with all of this. I’m the girl who
her at all. I guess I’ve never really learned how to handle my feelings from my younger life; yet Jake has forced a change
can’t stop you. I’m finding all this hard, Emma, not just because of the baby, because I really miss you. I don’t want you anywhere but with me. I can’t think straight when you’re not around me.” He looks away and frowns across the café and my heart constricts a little at the sad expression on his face. He’s obviously been thinking about how unreasonable his request was, given our current circumstances, mulling over his actions long after his crazy impulsive brain kicked the idea out
going on inside of my
on his face makes me wince. He can’t conceal that
because she’s almost an adult. I’m scared; and this … It couldn’t have come at a worse time than what’s happening between us right now.” I sigh, rubbing my fingers into my scalp, twirling a strand of my hair. I look out the window at the far end of the bistro, closing my eyes, wishing I could go back
of this but you must believe me
in, just a little, let me help you get through this. I
persuasive pretty face. Why do you make me
do this right, for you to take a chance on us again. We were good together. We are good together and I won’t lose you over a dumb mistake that I made impulsively. We can be happy, Emma, I know I can make you happy.” That intense serious face, the love in his eyes, I sigh at it all and feel
I say it. I have no idea how I’m ever going to get used to this. It’s terrifying and a black hole of confusion in my head right
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