I try to ignore Jake’s smug look when I saunter into the open-plan living space, finally awake from my two-hour nap on his bed. I had a tantrum on the way home, making him walk with me while I refused to get in the car, while Jefferson drove alongside at the pace of a snail. It was utterly ridiculous, but I was adamant that Jake wouldn’t tell me what to do and he walked alongside me with hands in pockets; daring not to argue.
I’ve woken up feeling a hundred times angrier and more emotional, whether it’s delayed shock or my brain unraveling slowly I have no clue. I only know that I feel like breaking down and sobbing about everything and eating a lot of ice cream … with chips … and hot sauce … And maybe a bowl of pistachios too. I suddenly want food more than anything; again. Food and some damn mental rest. This is completely exhausting, like I am going through some sort of grief that I can’t understand.
He’s standing in the kitchen, with a very smiley Daniel Hunter sitting across from him at the breakfast bar, and it only makes me tense up. The causal way Jake is sitting his butt against the sink sipping coffee and Daniel’s relaxed posture on the stool facing him, looks so normal, so unaffected and “everyday”.
Assholes.
“What are you doing here?” I snort at Daniel with an expression of utter disgust. I know it’s completely none of my business, this is Jake’s apartment and Jake’s friendship after all, and honestly, I can’t imagine Jake inviting him here while things between us are an absolute hot mess. Plus, until Daniel grovels at Leila’s feet, he’s no longer on my ‘I almost like you’ list. I’m not entirely sure of when he got on that list it but he’s certainly off it again now. I wander into the kitchen past Jake without meeting his smug look and yank open the fridge in search of food, ignoring the smirk or whatever cutesy look he’s trying to give me.
Piss off. Asshole. Know it all. Will this hunger ever calm the hell down? I swear I know what vampires must feel like now.
“Hi to you too, now is that the heartbroken Emma biting, or the hormonal one? I hear congrats are in order.” I spin and scowl at Daniel, then Jake; for even daring to let that idiot in on our personal matters.
So, he told his bestie and now they’re out here having some little womanly chat over fatherhood and broken-hearted girls! Dickheads.
“Both.” I turn back to the fridge, rummaging through the tubs and trays Nora has stocked it with, finding a tub of cold chicken salad and digging in with my fingers. My eyes still searching for something more satisfying … preferably something greasy.
“I love her just as much when she’s being this adorable.” Jake smirks and I catch Daniel frowning.
“You’re totally under the thumb dude. Your life is going to be a living hell if she gives you a girl, two to one and with that attitude, you’ll have no chance.” I slam the bowl down, my inner emotion hitting hard, a lump catching in my throat; irrational feelings bruised so bloody easily.
“I’m sure Marissa will even up the odds by giving him a boy.” I snap, slamming the refrigerator door before turning to walk off with tears in my eye.
“Hey…” Jake catches me mid-storm and pulls me into his arms, cradling me against his chest, smoothing a hand down the back of my neck. Bringing some calm to my outburst with his gentle touching relaxed tone. I don’t fight him, just sag against him, but I refuse to put my arms around him or my hands on him. I close my eyes pushing my face against his chest instead.
compromise
His hand travels down my back, and he slowly circles the base of my spine with light caressing, bringing some calm to my inner chaos and taut frayed emotions. I wish I could get a
cra—” Daniel is
off your neck, the way she’s feeling,” Jake warns as he tightens his hold a little. He emanates a little irritation and I know it’s aimed at Daniel; always
right, Jake?” Daniel doesn’t sound so smug anymore, his voice uneasy and a little
is up to I know Jake will surely be involved.
to tell her, or am I?” Jake smiles over the top of my head and then looks
The goal is to not run
get my head around everything that is my life, before reaching out to her or anyone else. I
text in case you two needed some time alone.”
about to find out how fragile
has been understanding. He’s keeping his distance unless I initiate touch which is rare, still no kissing, and no sex. He’s enduring my cyclone of moods like a champ. I can’t fault him at all. Jake has been everything he promised; patient, understanding, calm, non-demanding and gentle, sometimes a little too
He moved to another bedroom for the first two nights of me being here, until I woke from another night terror and crawled in beside him, sobbing my heart out. After
be, seeing as he’s the one who did this to you.” She
Oh, the irony.
Jake’s done to me…” I break off and inhale slowly. I still haven’t got my head around this little detail, petrified by the idea, still not sure if I’ve
suddenly in ferocious mode, her tone almost a growl.
Well actually…
a whoosh noise. I figure using the whole ripping off a Band-Aid method is probably best; say it quickly and it won’t be as
halts with a sharp intake
Jake’s baby.” Another quick whoosh of
in complete disbelief, trying the words out for the first time after two weeks of mulling this
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