The Carrero Effect - Falling for the Boss (Billionaire CEO)

My life has been turned on its head and every version of who I was or am has me so upside down and back to front, I’ve no idea who I am anymore. All I know is graceful, cold, PA Emma, would never be in the crazy mess I’m in now. I haven’t worn any of her clothes in weeks, let alone those stilettos, which I’ve kept with me almost like a protective talisman. I wear flats now … flats! Girly clothes, cute jumpers, and goddamn summer dresses in romantic fabrics. Hell must have frozen over surely.

“I’ve been a nightmare, Sarah. It’s a wonder he’s still here.” I cast my mind back to the tearful sobbing, angry shouting and smashing plates of crazy Emma who

has been occupying the apartment with him. The woman who woke from a nap on the couch to find Jake had

set up the bathroom with candles, music, rose petals and a gorgeous bubble bath for me, and told him I hated him before breaking down in sobs. I am a mess. Jake is in

pain too, but I’m selfishly stomping all over him, ignoring what he’s feeling, marking it as invalid because he hurt

me and ruined things, because he took my trust and ripped

it up into tiny shreds.

The stuff with Marissa still claws at my brain every day. I’ve spent the last two weeks knowing he’s been avoiding her contact and it only adds to the build up inside me; that somehow the moment he sees her will make me break. It’s completely unhealthy, hanging over me like some doom and gloom cloud of tension. It just intensifies my anger when it hits, and I know a time will come that I’ll blow up at him, an outlet for all the crazy inside of me.

“Jake loves you and he’s repenting for his sins. If he can’t handle all you’re throwing at him now babe, then he’s not the man for you.” Sarah laughs and jokes, but I know she’s being serious.

Jake is handling all I am throwing at him, bringing home my favorite foods when he goes out to meetings, pampering me with gifts and love notes to find whenever I open a drawer or use the bathroom. He leaves little surprises for me to find whenever he goes out. He’s trying so hard to show me that I am loved and wanted yet all he’s getting in return is an unhinged emotional psychopath who occasionally shows hints of the girl he loves. I need to stop pushing him away and acting so hostile or it’ll be me chasing Jake to win him back. But I can’t help it. Something in me in the last two weeks has grown overly uncontrollable with an emotion bubbling inside of me that I can’t pick out, an aching cavern of emptiness that I have no way of dealing with or know how to deal with.

“I think he might get sick of how I’m being,” I verbalize my inner doubt, without thinking. Shivering at the thought.

got the sense to let you do it. Are you back? I mean,

bed and sometimes he reaches for me in his sleep but, no, other than that we don’t go near each other. I can’t let him kiss me, or get too touchy-feely just yet, and definitely no sex.” I can’t even begin to explain the sense of heartbreak I get whenever I even contemplate kissing him. She’s always there in my

needs to earn back the trust needed to let him go there

as I have

of Jake coming into the apartment and the shuffle of bags as he strolls in, him and Mathews laughing over something. He sounds happy and it

urge to go to him overwhelms me. At least there’s a part of me that still wants him just as much as I did before;

I need to go. I’ll text you later okay. Jake’s home.”

say our goodbyes and as I hang up Jake sweeps past carrying a multitude of shopping bags with various brands and designer names emblazoned across them. I sigh and hope he’s not brought home another mountain

the bedroom, with a smile my way, and I get that surge of disappointment that I’ve been getting a lot lately. Sometimes I miss the forceful Jake who says, Fuck this shit, and pushes me to a wall kissing the hell out of me. I miss him in that way and part of me wonders how I would react if he did just that; if he took away my choice to

push him

a distance until you can handle this

distract my own thoughts, contemplating calling Leila, swiping to her face among my contacts, and telling her, when I’m suddenly hoisted up in mid-air off the couch with a squeal. Jake doing his best bride to be hold, plants a kiss on my cheek with

a very good mood; this

Severely lacking.

nose again. It feels like an age has passed since we were this close while awake. I’m suddenly nervous, and awkward, like I used to be before I

grins, trying to tilt his head around to get me to look at

need them,” I huff lightly. But the inner swell of joy I’m getting from being in his arms is nudging away the anger, so I don’t sound mad at